.
.
>>>
Subj:     Bird-Chicken Jokes
                 (Includes 40 jokes and articles, 29 1030n,17,cf,wYT2a,6)

          Click "Here" for Chicken-Supp
 


Rooster  from
Animated GIFs Collection
Includes the following:  Dominoes' Techno Chicken - Video (S721 in Supp)
.........................Stripes Movie With Bill Murray (S1021 in Supp)
.........................Man And Chicken Go To The Movies (S268, S682 in Supp)
.........................Silkie Chickens - Photo (S902 in Supp)
.........................Dominoes' Techno Chicken - Video (S721 in Supp)
.........................Gathering Chickens (S745 in Supp)
.........................Best Pool Shot By A Naked White Chick - Video (S668b - Sup)
.........................Rooster Race (S36, S654 in Supp)
.........................Boneless Skinless Chicken - Photo (S1016)
.........................Roosters And Bell Ringing (S425b in Supp)
.........................The Little Red Hen - Video (S733 in Supp)
.........................A Guy Mates A Chicken (in Supp)
.........................Rugrats Comic Strip (DU in Supp)
.........................Ronald Reagan's Chicken Joke (S1013 in Supp)
.........................
.........................B.C. Sunday Comic Strip (S931)
.........................Chicken Revival - Video (S484b, S808)
.........................Randy The Love Crazed Rooster (S179)
.........................B.C. Cartoon (S779)
.........................Which Came First? Riddle (S302b, DU)
.........................A Rooster, A Cat, And A River (S243b, S528)
.........................Why Did The Chiken Cross The Road? - GIF (S610c)
.........................Why Did The Chicken...(Teachers)? (S297, DU)
.........................Why Did The Chicken...(Scientists)? (S233b)
.........................The Flying McCoys Cartoon (S657)
.........................Why Did The Chicken...(Political_update #2) (S592, S622)
.........................Why Did The Chicken...(Political_update) (S378)
.........................Chicken Ghost Stories - Cartoon (S821)
.........................Why Did The Chicken...(Political) (S197)
.........................Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? (S180)
.........................Why Did The ... Cross the Road (S193, S569c)
.........................Chicken Crossing The Road - Cartoons
.........................City Boy Buys Two Chickens And A Mule
.........................FAA Test (S35, S808)
.........................Women Vs KFC - Drawing (S397)
.........................Short Chicken Jokes
..............................Uncle Sam Expects You - Poster (S852 in Supp)
..............................Shoe Comic Strip (S832 in Supp)
..............................We Couldn't Get A Sitter Cartoon (S831 in Supp)
..............................Get Fuzzy Sunday Comic Strip (S823 in Supp)
..............................The Other Coast Comic Strip (S709b in Supp)
..............................Frank And Ernest Cartoon (S807 in Supp)
..............................Strange Brew Cartoon (S640c in Supp)
..............................Rugrats Comic Strip (in Supp)
..............................Rubes Comic Strip (in Supp)
..............................Chicken And The Road Sign (S857 in Supp)
..............................Three Popsicle Stick Riddles (S812 in Supp)
..............................
..............................Chicks And Their Foster Mom (S513)
..............................Transfusions Of Chicken Blood (S316b)
..............................Sex-Egg-ucation - GIF (S502)
..............................Egg Catcher Game (S480b)
..............................Preparing Chicken
..............................Your Dog FiFi - Cartoon (S476b)
..............................Which Came First, The Chicken Or The Egg?
..............................The Chicken or the Egg?(S116, S424)
..............................Egged - SWF Video (S464b)

Also see BAR2 file    - 'Two Triple Martinis At A Bar'
         BIRD-DUCKS   - 'Cock Fighting In Louisiana'
         BOXING file  - 'Mother Goose And Grimm' - Cartoon
         CARS-SUPP2   - 'The Flying McCoys Cartoon'
.........CLINTON file - 'NY,NY'
         DARWIN AWRDS1- 'Six Drowned Rescuing A Chicken'
         ELDERLY2-SUPP- 'Carrying Bucket, Anvil, 2 Chickens, and a Goose'
         FOOD_ETC2    - 'Lemon Breast Chicken - Great Recipe'
......................- 'What Food Is This?' - Drawing
         HALLOWEEN-SUP- 'Halloween Answers Century Old Question!'
         HEAVEN2 file - 'Tom Woke-Up In Heaven'
         HORSE file   - 'Chicken And Horse Get Stuck'
         JUDGE file   - 'UK Wife Files For Divorce'
         KIDS2 file   - 'Boy And Girl Eat Lunch Together'
         MATH4 file   - 'MATH PROB. - The Hen And A Half Problem'
......................- 'MATH PROB. - Farmer Gives Away Eggs'
         MATH4C file  - 'Puzzle - Chickens In The Corn'
         NUDIST file  - 'Drivers Kill Farmer's Chickens'
         OTH OCCUP    - 'Grocery Store Magician'
         OTHER-SPORTS - 'Minnesotans Learn About New Sports'
         POPE file    - 'Colonel Sanders Visits The Pope'
         PREGNANT file- 'Pregnant Lady And Farmer Talk On Bus'
         REDNECK3 file- 'Sack Of Chickens'
         RIDDLE file  - 'A What Am I Riddle #19'
         SIGNS-NAMES  - 'Burma-Shave 1947, Chicken-Road Jingle'
         WAITER-SUPP  - 'A Little Boy's Order' - Sign

============================================================Top
Subj:     B.C. Sunday Comic Strip (S931)
          By Mastroianni and Hart on 11/16/2014
 Source: http://www.creators.com/comics/bc/126658.html
.
.....
.
Top
Subj:     Chicken Revival (S484b, S808dwmv)
          From: auntiegah on 5/3/2006
 Source1: http://www.coolestone.com/media/742/
..........Chicken-CPR---Jay-Leno/#.VNKlf9LF8qM
 Source2: http://www.jokelibrary.net/animals/birds/chicken-revival.wmv

 This is about Marian Morris who lives in Arkadelphia, AR.
 She gave CPR to a chicken, Boo Boo. On March 10, 2006, she
 was on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. The same night Terry
 Bradshaw was on the show.  Never has anyone had more fun
 and laughs than Bradshaw on this clip.

 You can view this WMV video by clicking 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     Randy The Love Crazed Rooster (S179, S370b)
          From: JOKE-OF-THE-DAY.com on 7/4/00
      and From: Grampsboyd on 2/16/2004

 A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the
 market looking for a rooster.  He was hoping he could get a
 special rooster - one that could service all of his many hens
 and when he told this to the market vendor, the vendor
 replied: "I have just the rooster for you.  Randy here is the
 horniest rooster you will ever see!"

 So the farmer took Randy back to the farm.  Before setting him
 loose in the henhouse though, he gave Randy a little pep talk.
 "Randy", he said, "I'm counting on you to do your stuff."  And
 without a word, he strutted into the henhouse.

 Randy was as fast as he was furious, mounting each hen like a
 thunderbolt. There was much squawking and many feathers flying,
 till Randy had finished having his way with each hen.

 But Randy didn't stop there; he went in to the barn and mounted
 all the horses, one by one and still at the same frantic pace.

 Then he went to the pigpen, where he did the same.  The farmer,
 watching all of this with disbelief, cried out "Stop, Randy,
 you'll kill yourself!"  But Randy continued, seeking out each
 farm animal in the same manner.

 The second day, same thing.  Not only all the animals, but the
 Randy nails the barn, fence, Farmers wife - everthing.  "Slow
 down Randy, y'all going to kill yerself!".

 On the third day, the farmer looked out and saw Randy lying
 there on his lawn. His legs were up in the air, his eyes rolled
 back, and his long tongue hanging out. A buzzard was already
 circling above Randy.

 The farmer walked up to Randy saying "Oh you poor thing, look
 what you did, you've gone and killed yourself. I warned you,
 little buddy."

 The Randy looks up and points to the buzzards and says
 "Shhhhhh!"

Top
Subj:     B.C. Cartoon (S779)
          By Mastroianni and Hart on 11/1/2011
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/bc/2011/11/01
.
......
.
.
.Top
Subj:     Which Came First? Riddle (S302b, DU)
          From: LABLaughs.com on 11/11/2002

 What came first, the chicken or the egg?

x
x
x
x
x
Scroll down for the answer
x
x
x
x
x
Here it comes
x
x
x
x
x

 ANSWER

 Dinosaurs laid eggs long before there were chickens.

Top
Subj:     A Rooster, A Cat, And A River (S243b, S528)
          From: dogbyte on 9/28/2001

 A rooster is walking along one day when he comes to a riverbank
 with a big bag of cat food beside it.  Uninterested in the bag,
 he looks over to the other side and sees a huge bag of chicken
 feed which instantly makes his mouth water.  Beside the bag of
 feed is a small cat that is hungrily eyeing the cat food on
 his side.

 The two look at each other and wonder what to do.  The rooster
 says, "I know, if we run and jump high enough we should be able
 to make it to the other side."

 The cat responds "OK, let's give it a try"

 The rooster heads back about 15 feet, makes a run for it and
 jumps as high as he can.  He flaps his wings like crazy and
 just makes it to the the bag and starts devouring the chicken
 feed.

 The cat, now more motivated than ever, heads back about 20
 feet and makes a run for it.  He jumps, and SPLASH! He lands
 right in the middle of the river.
 

 The Moral of the Story:
 For every satisfied cock, there's a wet pussy!

Top
Subj:     Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? (S610c,d)
          From: rfslick on 9/16/2008

 This cute animated GIF answers this age-old question.
 Click 'HERE' to view it.

Top
Subj:     Why Did The Chicken...(Teachers)? (S297, DU)
          From: tnkr on 10/8/2002

 Teacher:  The reason the chicken crossed the road depends
 on the learning style of the chicken.  If the chicken
 learned in a verbal linguistic/interpersonal fashion,
 then perhaps he spied several chickens across the road
 with whom he wanted to converse about his experience of
 crossing the road.

 If he learned in a logical mathematical way, then perhaps
 he crossed the road to count the number of steps and
 compare these with other roads that he may have crossed.

 If he learned in a bodily kinesthetic way, he simply
 needed the mobility to break up the tedium of standing
 still.

 If he learned in a visual spatial way, he probably crossed
 the road in order to attain a better viewpoint for future
 maps he might draw.

 Finally, if the chicken learned in an intrapersonal way, he
 crossed the road so that he might have something new to
 talk to himself about.

Top
Subj:     Why Did The Chicken...(Scientists)? (S233b)
          From: Science Jokes on 7/18/01
 Source: http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/

 Why the chicken crossed the road according to scientists?

 DARWIN:
    Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally
    selected in such a way that they are now genetically
    disposed to cross roads.

 ALBERT EINSTEIN:
    Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved
    beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

 PIERRE DE FERMAR:
    1: I just don't have room here to give the full explanation.
    2: It did not fit on the margin on this side.
    3: Crossing the road was the path with the minimum
       value of propagation time.

 GODEL:
    It cannot be proved whether the chicken crossed the road.

 PAUL ERDOS:
    It was forced to do so by the chicken-hole principle.

Top
Subj:     The Flying McCoys Cartoon (S657)
          by Glenn and Gary McCoy on 8/8/2009
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/theflyingmccoys/2009/08/08
.
................
.

Top
Subj:     Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? (S378, S622)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 5/21/2008
      and From: redcatt on 12/10/2008

 Subject: Why the chicken crossed the road?
 (Political Updated #2 version)

 BARACK OBAMA:
 The chicken crossed the road because it was time for
 change!  The chicken wanted change!

 JOHN MCCAIN:
 My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he
 recognized the need to engage in cooperation and
 dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of
 the road.

 SARAH PALIN:
 You betcha he crossed the road, but let's not talk
 about that, let's talk about energy policy, and how
 gosh darn hard it is for a middle-class hockey mom
 to manage the budget of the only state in America
 with a massive surplus, especially while surrounded
 by countless Russian and Canadian chickens we have
 to keep an eye on.

 HILLARY CLINTON:
 When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little
 chicken to cross the road.  This experience makes me
 uniquely qualified to ensure - right from day one that
 every chicken in this country gets the chance it
 deserves to cross the road.  But then, this really
 isn't about me.

 GEORGE W. BUSH:
 We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
 We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of
 the road, or not.  The chicken is either against us,
 or for us. There is no middle ground here.

 DICK CHENEY:
 Where's my gun?

 BILL CLINTON:
 I did not cross the road with that chicken...  What is
 your definition of crossing?  or chicken ?

Top
Subj:     Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? (S378)
          From: mgsweny on 4/24/2004

 Subject: Why the chicken crossed the road?
 (Political Updated version)

 GEORGE W BUSH
 We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.  We
 just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road
 or not.  The chicken is either against us or for us.  There
 is no middle ground here.

 COLIN POWELL
 Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
 satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

 HANS BLIX
 We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have
 not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of
 the road.

 JOHN KERRY
 Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road I am now
 against it!

 RALPH NADER
 The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been
 polluted by unchecked industrial greed.  The chicken did not
 reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road
 because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

 RUSH LIMBAUGH
 I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet
 it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll
 bet that somebody out there is already forming a support group
 to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome.  Can you
 believe this?  How much more of this can real Americans take?
 Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars.  And
 when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money
 the government took from you to build a road for chickens to
 cross.

 MARTHA STEWART
 No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going.
 I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs
 when the price dropped to a certain level.  No little bird gave
 me any insider information.
 

 BILL CLINTON
 I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.  What is your
 definition of chicken?

 AL GORE
 I invented the chicken!

Top
Subj:     Chicken Ghost Stories (S821)
          From: Laney Huda on Facebook on 10/25/12
 Source: http://www.backyardchickens.com/t/133795/chicken-ghost-stories
.
........
.
.
.Top
Subj:     Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? (S197)
          From: FrankRoesch on 1/07/2000

 Political version

 VICE PRESIDENT GORE
 I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens
 right now.  I will not give up on the chickens crossing the
 road!  I will fight for the chickens and I will not disappoint
 them.

 GOVERNOR GEORGE W. BUSH
 I don't believe we need to get the chickens across the road.
 I say give the road to the chickens and let them decide.  The
 government needs to let go of strangling the chickens so they
 can get across the road.

 SENATOR LIEBERMAN
 I believe that every chicken has the right to worship their
 God in their own way.  Crossing the road is a spiritual
 journey and no chicken should be denied the right to cross
 the road in their own way.

 SECRETARY CHENEY
 Chickens are big-time because they have wings.  They could
 fly if they wanted to.  Chickens don't want to cross the
 road.  They don't need help crossing the road.  In fact, I'm
 not interested in crossing the road myself.

 RALPH NADER
 Chickens are misled into believing there is a road by the
 evil tire makers.  Chickens aren't ignorant, but our society
 pays tire makers to create the need for these roads and then
 lures chickens into believing there is an advantage to cross-
 ing them.  Down with the roads, up with chickens.

 PAT BUCHANAN
 To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

From: gheckman@scronline.com on 2/28/2003 (S317)
 GEORGE W. BUSH
 We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.  We
 just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road
 or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us.
 There is no middle ground here.

 AL GORE
 I invented the chicken.  I invented the road.  Therefore,
 the chicken crossing the road represented the application
 of these two different functions of government in a new,
 reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the
 American people.

Top
Subj:     Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? (S180)
          From: auntieg on 98-11-04

 QUESTION:

 Why did the chicken cross the road?

 ANSWERS:

 KINDERGARTEN TEACHER:
        To get to the other side.

 PLATO:
       For the greater good.

 ARISTOTLE:
        It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

 KARL MARX:
        It was an historical inevitability.

 TIMOTHY LEARY:
        Because that's the only trip the establishment would
        let it take.

 SADDAM HUSSEIN:
        This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were
        quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

 RONALD REAGAN:
        I forget.

 CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK:
       To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

 HIPPOCRATES:
        Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.

 ANDERSEN CONSULTING:
        Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was
        threatening its dominant market position.  The
       chicken was faced with significant challenges to
        create and develop the competencies required for
        the newly competitive market.  Andersen Consulting,
        in a partnering relationship with the client, helped
        the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge,
        capital and experiences to align the chicken's
        people, processes and technology in support of its
       overall strategy within a Program Management framework.

 LOUIS FARRAKHAN:
        The road, you see, represents the black man.  The
        chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample
        him and keep him down.

 RICHARD NIXON:
        The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat,
        the chicken did NOT cross the road.

 JERRY SEINFELD:
        The point is that the chicken crossed the road.  I
        mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What
        the heck was this chicken doing walking around all
        over the place anyway?

 FREUD:
        The fact that you are at all concerned that the
        chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying
        sexual insecurities.

 BILL GATES:
        I have just released Office Chicken 2000, which will
        not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your
        important documents, and balance your checkbook.

 OLIVER STONE:
        The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the
        road?"  Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at
        the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to
        observe the chicken crossing?"

 BUDDHA:
        Asking the question denies your own chicken nature.

 RALPH WALDO EMERSON:
        The chicken did not cross the road...
        it transcended it.

 ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
        To die. In the rain.

 COLONEL SANDERS:
        I missed one?

 HILLARY CLINTON:
        It was a vast right-wing conspiracy against my
        husband.

 BILL CLINTON:
        I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.  However,
        I did ask Vernon Jordan to find the chicken a job in
        New York.
 

From: Daemonic Funnies Page on 12/14/97

 JACQUES DERRIDA:
........Any number of contending discourses may be discovered
        within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and
        each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial
        intent can never be discerned, because structuralism
        is dead.

 NOAM CHOMSKY:
        The chicken didn't exactly cross the road.  As of
        1994, something like 99.8% of all US chickens reaching
........maturity that year had spent 82% of their lives in
        confinement.  The living conditions in most chicken
        coops break every international law ever written, and
        some, particularly the ones for chickens bound for
        slaughter, border on inhumane. My point is, they had
        no chance to cross the road (unless you count the
        ride to the supermarket).  Even if one or two have
        crossed roads for whatever reason, most never get a
        chance.  Of course, this is not what we are told.
        Instead, we see chickens happily dancing around on
        Sesame Street and Foster Farms commercials where
        chickens are not only crossing roads, but driving
        trucks (incidentally, Foster Farms is owned by the
        same people who own the Foster Freeze chain, a
        subsidiary of the dairy industry).  Anyway, ...
        (Chomsky continues for 32 pages. For the full text
        of his answer, contact Odonian Press)

 THOMAS DE TORQUEMADA:
        Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find
        out.

 DOUGLAS ADAMS:
        Forty-two.

 NIETZSCHE:
        Because if you gaze too long across the road, the
        road gazes also across you.

 OLIVER NORTH:
        National Security was at stake.

 B.F. SKINNER:
        Because the external influences which had pervaded
        its sensorium from birth had caused it to develop
        in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads,
        even while believing these actions to be of its own
        free will.

 CARL JUNG:
        The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt
        necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at
        this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicit-
        ously brought such occurrences into being.

JEAN-PAUL SARTRE:
        In order to act in good faith and be true to itself,
        the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

LUDWIG WITTGENSTEIN:
        The possibility of crossing was encoded into the
        objects chicken and road, and circumstances came
        into being which caused the actualization of this
        potential occurrence.

 HOWARD COSELL:
        It may very well have been one of the most aston-
        ishing events to grace the annals of history.  An
        historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity
        to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly
        relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a
       remarkable occurence.

 SALVADOR DALI:
        The Fish.

 EMILY DICKINSON:
        Because it could not stop for death.

 EPICURUS:
        For fun.

 JOHANN FRIEDRICK VON GOETHE:
........The eternal hen-principle made it do it.

 WERNER HEISENBERG:
        We are not sure which side of the road the chicken
        was on, but it was moving very fast.

 DAVID HUME:
        Out of custom and habit.

 JACK NICHOLSON:
        'Cause it (censored) wanted to.  That's the
        (censored) reason.

 PYRRHO THE SKEPTIC:
        What road?

 JOHN SUNUNU:
        The Air Force was only too happy to provide the
        transportation, so quite understandably the chicken
        availed himself of the opportunity.

 THE SPHINX:
        You tell me.

 HENRY DAVID THOREAU:
        To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out
        of life.

 MARK TWAIN:
        The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

 KATHERINE MCKINNON:
        Because, in this patriarchial state, for the last four
        centuries, men have applied their principles of justice
        in determining how chickens should be cared for, their
        language has demeaned the identity of the chicken, their
        technonogy and trucks have decided how and where chickens
        will be distributed, their science has become the basis
        for what chickens eat, their sense of humor has provided
        the framework for this joke, their art and film have given
        us our perception of chicken life, their lust for flesh
        has has made the chicken the most consumned animal in the
        US, and their legal system has left the chicken with no
        other recourse.

 STEPHEN JAY GOULD:
        It is possible that there is a sociobiological explan-
        ation for it, but we have been deluged in recent years
        with sociobiological stories despite the fact that we
        have little direct evidence about the genetics of
        behavior, and we do not know how to obtain it for the
        specific behaviors that figure most prominently in
        sociobiological speculation.

 JOSEPH STALIN:
        I don't care.  Catch it.  I need its eggs to make my
        omlette.

 MALCOM X:
        It was coming home to roost.

From: RFSlick on 98-12-09

 PAT BUCHANAN:
        To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

 L.A. POLICE DEPARTMENT:
        Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find
        out.

 DR. SEUSS:
        Did the chicken cross the road?  Did he cross it with
        a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it
        crossed, I've not been told!

 MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.:
        I envision a world where all chickens will be free to
        cross roads without having their motives called into
        question.

 MACHIAVELLI:
        The point is that the chicken crossed the road.  Who
        cares why?  The end of crossing the road justifies
        whatever motive there was.
 

From: tom.greene on 11/02/1999
 JERRY FALWELL:
        Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious?  Can
        not you people see the plain truth in front of your
        face?  The chicken was going to the "other side."
        That's what "they" call it: the "other side."  Yes,
        my friends, that chicken is gay.  And, if you eat
        that chicken, you will become gay too.  I say we
        boycott all chickens until we sort out this
        abomination that the liberal media white-washes
        with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other
        side."  That chicken should not be crossing the
        road.  It's as plain and simple as that.

From: RFSlick on 7/13/00
 GRANDPA:
        In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
        road.  Someone told us that the chicken crossed the
        road, and that was good enough for us.

 FOX MULDER:
        You saw the chicken cross the road with your own eyes.
        How many more chickens have to cross before you believe
        it?

 SIGMUND FREUD:
        The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
        crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

 BILL GATES:
        I have just released eChicken2000, which will not only
        explore your documents and balance your cheque book, but
        Internet Explorer is an inextractible part of eChicken.

 THE BIBLE:
        And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto
        the chicken "Thou shalt cross the road." and the
        chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

Top
Subj:     Why Did The ... Cross The Road (S193, S569c)

 Why did the chicken cross the road?
 To lay it on the line.

 Why did the chicken cross the playground?
 To get to the other slide.

 Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
 He heard the referee was blowing fouls.

 Why did the chicken cross the beach?
 To get to the other tide.

 Why did the chicken cross the Moebius Strip?
 To get to the other...um...err

 Why did the turtle cross the road?
 To get to the Shell station!

From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 4/8/2002 (S271c)
 A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

From: Law And Order TV Show on 2/11/04 (S368b)
 Why did the fisherman cross the road?
 Just for the halibut.

From: tadams96 on 12/31/2004 (S414b - math6)
 Q: Why did the chicken cross the Moebius strip?
 A: To get to the same side.

Top
Subj:     Chicken Crossing The Road - Cartoons
          By Bob Thaves on 3/22/2008 (S582c)
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/frank-and-ernest/2008/03/22
.
..
.
..

          From: mrx on 6/17/2004
          at (Removed from ezines4all.com)
.
.........
.
.. .
. .
The cartoon

Chicken Crossing The Road II

comes from

LABLaughsClean

on 8/1/2005

Source:
(Removed from lablaughs.com)

.
.
From: GoComics.com on 11/6/2008 (S617b)
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/nonsequitur/2008/11/06
.
..
.
.. .
. .
This Bizarro cartoon
 

comes from

Dan Piraro on 2/2/2009

Source:
http://bizarro.com/comics/february-2-2009/

.
Top
Subj:     City Boy Buys Two Chickens And A Mule
          From: TNKRTEACH on 98-02-15

 Once there was a city boy who wanted to move to the country,
 so he headed out to a farm to buy some animals.   "I'll take
 one of these," he said to the farmer.  "What is it?"  "Well,
 to me it's a cock, but to you it's a rooster." said the
 farmer.  "I'll take one of these, too," said the
 city boy.  "What is it?" "Well, to me it's a pullet, but to
 you it's a chicken." replied the farmer.  "Okay," said the
 city boy.  "And I'll take one of those, too, if you'll tell
 me what it is."  "To me it's an ass, but to you it's a mule,"
 explained the farmer, "and when that ass gets stubborn, it
 sits down and you have to scratch its belly to get it moving
 again."

 So the city boy set off down the road with all his new
 purchases.  He was doing fine till a pretty girl drove by,
 at which point the ass sat down and refused to budge.  Seeing
 he was having some trouble, the girl backed up and asked if
 there was anything she could do to help.

 "Actually, yes," said the city boy.  "Will you hold my cock
 and pullet while I scratch my ass?"

Top
Subj:     FAA Test (S35, S808)
          From: Scott's Joke Archive 0n 5/31/97
      and From: virv on 7/4/2012

 In an issue of "Meat and Poultry" magazine, the following
 story was reported.

 It seems the U.S. Federal Aviation Administration (FAA)
 has a device for testing the strength of airplane wind-
 shields.  The gunlike device launches a dead chicken at
 a test plane's windshield at approximately the speed the
 plane flies.  If the windshield doesn't crack from the
 carcass impact, theory has it, the windshield will survive
 a real collision with a flying bird.

 The British recently built a new high speed locomotive.
 They borrowed the FAA device to test the windshield,
 reset it to the maximum speed of the locomotive, loaded
 in the dead chicken and fired.  The ballistic chicken
 shattered the windshield, went through the engineer's
 chair, broke an instrument panel, and embedded itself in
 the back wall of the engine cab.  Stunned by the result,
 the British asked the FAA to check the test to see if
 everything was done correctly.  The FAA reviewed the test
 thoroughly and had one recommendation.  Repeat the test
 using a thawed chicken.

 This is a great story, but just another urban legend as
 verified at http://www.snopes.com/science/cannon.asp

Top
Subj:     Women Vs KFC (S397)
          From: JokesUncut on 8/28/2004
 Source: (Removed from ezines4all.com)
.
..........
.
.

Subj:     Short Chicken Jokes

Top
Subj:     Chicks And Their Foster Mom (S513)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 11/15/2006
 Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
 These two pictures are quite cute.  You can view them by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Transfusions Of Chicken Blood (S316b)
          From: mombear1 on 2/15/2003
 The American Medical Association researchers have made a
 remarkable discovery.  It seems that some patients
 needing blood transfusions may benefit from receiving
 chicken blood rather than human blood.

 It tends to make the men cocky and the women lay better.
 

Top
Subj:     Sex-Egg-ucation (S502)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 8/30/2005
..........Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
 This animated GIF tells an old joke in a cute story format.
 You can view it by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Egg Catcher Game (S480b in Games2)
          From: LABLaughsRiddles on 4/4/2006
 Source: (Warning dailyfreegames.com has a virus)
 This game is NOT worth a trip to the internet.  You can play
 it safely on my site by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Preparing Chicken  (Playboy February 1997)
 "May I take your order? the waiter asked.
 "How do you prepare your chicken?"
 "Nothing special," he replied.  "We just tell them straight
 out that they're going to die."
 

Top
Subj:     Your Dog FiFi (S476b)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 2/27/2006
..........Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
 You can see this cute, sick cartoon by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Which Came First, The Chicken Or The Egg?
          From: humorlist-digest V2 #35 on 98-02-05
 Picture: A chicken and an egg, lying in bed side-by-side,
 each smoking a cigarette.

 Which came first?
 

Top
Subj:     The Chicken or the Egg? (S116, S424)
          From: Anaise on 98-04-10
      and From: DoctorDebt on 3/11/2005
 A chicken and an egg are lying in bed.

 The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile
 on its face and the egg is frowning and looking put out.

 The egg mutters to no one in particular,
 "I guess we answered THAT question."
 

Top
Subj:     Egged (S464b,d)
          From: LABLaughsRiddles20051209 on 12/9/05
 Source: (Removed from ezines4all.com)
 This short, cute, SWF video can be seen by clicking 'HERE'.
 

KFC DEAL from: Bobbyt's Place
 Here's what you do, go to Kentucky Fried Chicken and ask
 for the Nancy Kerrigan deal: two small breasts and a
 battered leg.
 

From: auntieg on 98-11-14
 The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds.

From: icohen on 98-11-16
 There are more chickens than people in the world.

Q: Why can't a chicken coop have more than 2 doors?
A: Because if it had 4 doors it would be a chicken sedan.
   --  Sandra Johnson

Q: Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
A: Because he was too chicken.  -- drtbike

Q: Which side of a chicken has the most feathers?
A: The outside.

Q: What's the difference between a pervert and
   a kinky person?
A: A pervert uses a feather, a kinky person uses
   the whole chicken!

From: jcary on 99-01-18 (S104)
 Q: What is the similarity between a woman and
    Kentucky Fried Chicken?
 A: By the time you've finished with the breast and thighs,
    all you have left is a greasy box to pop your bone in.

                            \\\//
                           -(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================
.
...........................From Zoo World.
.
.