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Subj:     Parrot Jokes
                 (Includes 28 jokes and articles, 30950,12,cf,vXT,13)

Parrot from
PageWorks
Includes the following:  Parrot Takes A Shower - Video (S950)
.........................Death Metal Parrot - Video (S669)
.........................Magician And The Parrot (S368b, S755)
.........................Newly Weds And The Parrot (S27)
.........................Parrots - Whassup Video (S458b)
.........................Horny Parrot Goes To Vet (S371b)
.........................The Christmas Bird (S203)
.........................Einstein The Bird Brain - Video (S420)
.........................Parrot Speaks Any Language (S115)
.........................Farmer's Parrot Screws Turkeys (S104)
.........................Cockatoo, This Bird Has Rhythm! - Video (S612c)
.........................Parrot Goes To Whore House (S93)
.........................Parrot From A Whore House (S57, S858)
.........................Parakeet Uses DHL - Video (S565c)
.........................Three Nuns And A Talking Parrot
.........................Three Parrots For Sale
.........................Golfing Parrot - Video (S536b)
.........................Three High Priced Parrots (S54)
.........................Parrot Named Moses And The Burglar (S306, S623c)
.........................Christmas Dinner - Audio (S624)
.........................A Man And A Parrot On A Plane (S285b)
.........................Swearing Parrot (S243b, S620b)
.........................Kakapo - The Bird That Can't Fly - Vodeo (S851)
.........................Swearing Parrot Meets Christian Parrots (S187, S607b)
.........................Parrot With No Legs (S372b, S545)
.........................Short Parrot Jokes
..............................A One Winged Cockatoo (S522)
..............................B.C. Comic Strip (731)
..............................The Death Of A Parrot - GIF (S510b)

Also see BLACKS2 file - 'Black Walks Into Bar W/Parrot'
         ELDERLY2 file- 'Old Man And Punk Rocker On A Bus'
         GOLF3 file   - 'A Series Of Unfortunate Events'
         JEWISH1 file - 'Three Viddishe Son's Presents For Mom'
         JEWISH2 file - 'Jewish Parrot'
         OTHER-OCCUP  - 'The Carpet Layer'
         OTHER-SPORTS - 'Minnesotans Learn About New Sports'
         POLIT-Clinton- 'Clinton's Parrot Dies'

============================================================Top
Subj:     Parrot Takes A Shower (S950d)
          From: Linda Robertson on Facebook
 Source1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmquUThI6RY
 Source2: https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=944225378944550
.
.......
.
.......Click 'HERE' to see this beautiful blue exotic
.......parrot give himself a shower.
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Top
Subj:     Death Metal Parrot (S669d)
          From: Wimp.com
          on 10/13/2009
 Source: http://www.wimp.com/metalparrot/

 In this 36 second Death Metal video, a cockatoo rocks
 out to the music. Click on the above source, or 'HERE'
 for my copy, to see this cute, short video.

Top
Subj:     Magician And The Parrot (S368b, S755)
          From: Grampsboyd on 2/12/2004
      and From: tom on 6/27/2011

 A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean.
 The audience would be different each week, so the magician
 allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again.

 There was only one problem:  The captain's parrot saw the
 shows each week and began to understand how the magician
 did every trick.  Once he understood he started shouting
 in the middle of the show:
   "Look, it's not the same hat"
   "Look, he is hiding the flowers under the table"
   "Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades ?"
 The magician was furious but couldn't do anything; it was,
 after all, the captain's parrot.

 Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately
 sank, drowning almost all who were on board.  The magician
 luckily found himself on a piece of wood floating in the
 middle of the sea, as fate would have it.... with the parrot.

 They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word.
 This went on for a day...  And then 2 days.  And then 3 days.
 Finally on the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any
 longer and said..."OK, I give up.  Where's the boat?"

Top
Subj:     Newly Weds And The Parrot (S27)
          From: Max's Humor Archive on 07/15/97

 A young newly married couple inherited a parrot from an aged
 relative.  This parrot was very talkative, and was forever
 informing visitors as to what went on in the newlyweds' home.
 One evening, after a very embarassing comment from the bird,
 the husband had enough and said to the parrot, "that's it!
 You will be covered up much earlier in the future, and if you
 take your cage cover off or embarass us again, you will be
 sent to the Zoo."

 A couple days later the couple were preparing for a short trip,
 and as usual, the suitcase was too full to close.  So the
 husband said, "I'll get on top and jump up and down and you
 see if you can get it."

 After a bit the wife said, "This is no good. I'll get on top
 and you see if you can get it."

 This still did not work, and so the husband said, "Tell you
 what, let's both get on top and bounce up and down - that'll
 get it."

 With this, the parrot pulled off the cage cover and said, "Zoo
 or no zoo, this I have got to see."

Top
Subj:     Parrots - Whassup Video (S458b,d)
          From: darrell94590 on 10/31/2005
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/2r8hLJfohdM

 In this cute, thirty second Budweiser commercial, several
 parrots yell 'Whassup' at each other.  You can watch this
 ad at the above source, or 'HERE'. for my copy.

Top
Subj:     Horny Parrot Goes To Vet (S371b)
          From: Grampsboyd on 2/16/2004

 A guy has a horny parrot. It's terrible. Every time he reaches
 into the cage, the bird humps his arm.  He invites his mother
 to tea, and the bird keeps saying foul things.  Finally he
 takes the parrot to a vet.

 The vet examines the bird extensively, says, "Well, you have
 a horny male parrot.  I have a sweet young female bird, and
 for fifteen dollars your bird can go in the cage with mine."

 The guy's parrot is listening and says, "Come on! Come on!
 What are you waiting for?"

 Finally, the guy says "All right" and hands over the fifteen
 dollars.  The vet takes the parrot, puts him in the cage with
 the female bird, closes the curtain.  Suddenly, "Kwah! Kwah!
 Kwah!"  The cage starts shaking and feathers come flying out.

 The vet says, "Holy gee," and runs across the room and opens
 the curtain.

 The male bird has the female bird down on the bottom of the
 cage with one claw.  With the other claw he's pulling out all
 her feathers.  He's saying, "For fifteen bucks, I want you
 naked, bitch. Naked

Top
Subj:     The Christmas Bird (S203)
          From: thebartend on 12/13/1999
      and From: Anaise on 12/22/2000

 One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop
 looking for an unusual Christmas gift for his wife.  The
 shop owner suggested a parrot, named Chet, which could sing
 famous Christmas carols. This seemed like the perfect gift.
 "How do I get him to sing?" The young man asked, excitedly.

 "Simply hold a lighted match directly under his feet," was
 the shop owner's reply.  The shop owner Chet began to sing:
 "Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! ..."

 The shop owner then held another match under the parrot's
 right foot.  Then Chet's tune changed, and the air was
 filled with: "Silent Night.  HolyNight..."

 The young man was so impressed that he paid the shopkeeper
 and ran home as quickly as he could with Chet under his arm.
 When the wife saw her gift she was overwhelmed. "How
 beautiful!" She exclaimed, "Can he talk?"

 "No," the young man replied, "but he can sing. Let me show
 you."  So the young man whipped out his lighter and placed
 it under Chet's left foot, as the shopkeeper had shown him,
 and Chet crooned: "Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells!..."  The man
 then moved the lighter to Chet's right foot, and out came:
 "Silent Night. Holy Night..."

 The wife, her face filled with curiosity, then asked, "What
 if we hold the lighter between his legs?"  The man did not
 know. "Let's try it."  He answered, eager to please his
 wife. So they held the lighter between Chet's legs.  Chet
 twisted his face, cleared his throat, the little parrot
 sang out loudly (like it was the performance of his life):
 "Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire...."

Top
Subj:     Einstein The Bird Brain (S420d in Movies)
          From: igiggle on 2/7/2005
 Source1: http://media.animal.discovery.com/fansites/petstar
........../videogallery/season3/ep309_winner.html
 Source2: http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=7rfGEtALHYs&vq=large
 Other Einstein videos can be seen at
 Source3: http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=nbrTOcUnjNY&vq=large
 Spurce4: http://www.ted.com/talks/einstein_
..........the_parrot_talks_and_squawks.html

 This SWF video is absolutely amazing.  It features Einstein,
 the avian SUPERSTAR from Knoxville Zoo and her trainer,
 Stephanie.  Einstein is an African gray parrot who has a
 vocabulary of more than 200 words and sounds; she can
 perform more than half the time on cue.  Click on either
 of the top two sources, or 'HERE' for my copy, listen,
 and see, Einstein the Superstar.

Top
Subj:     Parrot Speaks Any Language (S115)
          From: Bawdy.Net Collage #296 ON 4/12/99

 A man wanted to buy a parrot, so he goes to the pet shop
 and enquires about their stock.  The attendant shows him a
 parrot which is quite exceptional in that it speaks any
 language you want.  Intrigued by this, the man decides to
 test the bird by asking it a few questions:

 M:  "Do you speak English?"
 P:  "Yes."
 M:  "Hablas Espanol?"
 P:  "Si!"
 M:  "Parlez vouz Francaise?"
 P:  "Oui!"
 M:  "Sprechen sie Deutsch?"
 P:  "Jawohl!"
 M:  "Falas Portugues?"
 P:  "Sim."
 etc.

 After all his options were exhausted, the man thought for
 a while, then asked the parrot, "Do you speak Yiddish?"

 The parrot shrugs its shoulders and says: "Nu? Mit a nose
 like dis, vot you tink?"

Top
Subj:     Farmer's Parrot Screws Turkeys (S104)
          From: Bawdy.Net Collage #281 on 99-01-24

 A farmer and his wife are given the gift of a parrot from a
 relative.  The Parrot, being a male, sneaks out and screws
 the next door neighbors turkeys and rushes back home, but
 not before being caught in the act.

 The next door neighbors knock on the door and explain what
 the Parrot has been doing.  The owners of the parrot reprimand
 him and tell him if he doesn't stop it he's going to shave the
 parrots head.

 That night the Parrot, overcome with desire, sneaks out and
 screws his neighbors turkeys again.  The next morning the
 owner ties the bird down and proceeds to shave his head.

 The following morning is the Farmers daughters wedding, and
 in order to please the relative that gave them the parrot,
 they sit the parrot on a piano and tell him for his punish-
 ment he has to greet all the guests and tell them where to
 sit in the church.

 The parrot is doing fine. "Grooms side to the left and Brides
 side to the right".  Until two bald guys walk in and he says,
 "And you two Turkey Fuckers up on the piano with me!!!"

Top
Subj:     Cockatoo, This Bird Has Rhythm! (S612c,d)
          From: darrellvip on 10/2/2008
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/bqub76ut_UQ

 This dancing Cockatoo is very cute.  Click 'HERE' to view it.

Top
Subj:     Parrot Goes To Whore House (S93)
..........From: Bawdy.Net Collage #272 on 98-11-09

 Harry says to his pet parrot Smitty, "What do you want for
 your birthday?" Smitty says, "I want to get laid."

 So Harry takes Smitty to a parrot whore house, gives him a
 hundred bucks, and Smitty goes upstairs with a hot-looking
 parrot whore.

 After a few minutes, Harry hears really loud screeching and
 squawking, so he runs upstairs and in to the room.

 There's Smitty, holding down the whore parrot and yanking
 out her colorful feathers.  Harry says, "Smitty, what the
 hell are you doing?"

 Smitty says, "For a hundred bucks I want her nude."

Top
Subj:     Parrot From A Whore House (S57, S858)
          From: RFSlick on 98-02-17
      and From: tom on 6/17/2013

 (See 'Clinton's Parrot Dies' in POLIT-CLINTON)

 A woman was thinking about finding a pet to help keep her
 company at home.  She decided she would like to find a
 beautiful parrot; it wouldn't be as much work as, say, a
 dog, and it would be fun to hear it speak.  She went to a
 pet shop and immediately spotted a large beautiful parrot.
 She went to the owner of the store and asked how much. The
 owner said it was $50.

 Delighted that such a rare looking and beautiful bird wasn't
 more expensive, she agreed to buy it.  The owner looked at
 her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird
 used to live in a whorehouse. Sometimes it says pretty vulgar
 stuff."

 The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the
 bird.  She said she would buy it anyway.  The pet shop owner
 sold her the bird and she took it home.  She hung the bird's
 cage up in her living room  and waited for it to say something.
 The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New
 house, new madam."

 The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought
 that's not so bad." A couple hours later, the woman's two teen-
 age daughters returned from school. When they inspected the bird,
 it looked at them and said, "New house, new madam, new girls."

 The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to
 laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot
 had been raised.  Moments later, the woman's husband Keith came
 home from work.

 The bird looked at him and said,

 "Hi, Keith."

Top
Subj:     Parakeet Uses DHL (S565c,d)
          From: ginafm on 11/18/2007
 Source: http://www.metacafe.com/watch/5005/dhl_parrot/

 This is a cute, short DHL International Express Freight
 commercial from Australia. In it, the parakeet air ships
 the cat to a new home. Click on the above source, or 'HERE'
 for my copy, to see this cute, silly ad.

Top
Subj:     Three Nuns And A Talking Parrot
          From: humorlist-digest V2 #168 on 98-07-07

 Three nuns passed every day through a street that led them
 from Church to a Reformatory. They noticed a parrot that stood
 at the entrance of a big residential house. Every time they
 passed in front of that house, the bird would pronounce three
 sequential colors.

 One day, they heard "yellow, blue, black." One of the nuns
 noticed that those colors perfectly matched the colors of their
 underwear. She mentioned her discovery to the other two nuns,
 but both were reluctant to believe that could be possible.

 The next day, they all wore black underwear and passed in
 front of the house, and very precisely the parrot spoke, "black,
 black, black." Hearing that, the three nuns were astonished!!.
 One of the nuns spoke up: "Girls, tomorrow we are going to
 trick that bird."

 Saying that, she recommended that the next day, none of them
 should be wearing any underwear under their vestments.
 Respecting their agreement, the next day they wore no
 underwear, and proceeded to pass in front of the parrot's house.

 They peeked at the bird. At the beginning, the parrot looked a
 bit puzzled, he swung back and forth on the cane he was
 perched on.

 Then, after a while, the Parrot spoke: "Straight, Straight, Curly!"

Top
Subj:     Three Parrots For Sale
          From: Ossama's Laugh on 5/23/98

 (See 'Three High Priced Parrots' in this file)

 A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot.  The shop owner
 points to three identical-looking parrots on a perch and
 says: "The parrot on the left costs $500." "Why does the
 parrot cost so much?" asks the customer.  The owner says
 "Well, the parrot knows how to do legal research."

 The customer then asks about the next parrot, to be told
 that this one costs $1,000 because it can do everything the
 other parrot can do plus it knows how to write a brief that
 will win any case.

 Naturally, the increasingly startled customer asks about
 the third parrot, to be told that it costs $4,000.  Needless
 to say, this begs the question, "What can it do?"  To which
 the owner replies, "To be honest, I've never seen him do a
 damn thing, but the other two call him Senior Partner."

Top
Subj:     Golfing Parrot (S536b,d)
          From: edapsmas on 4/27/2007
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/V6Fxclwdfxc

 This cute video is a parrot does tricks on command.
 You can view it on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     Three High Priced Parrots (S54)
          From: humorlist-digest V2 #23 on 98-01-24

 (Also see 'Buying A Monkey From A Pet Shop' in COMPUTERS2
   and see 'Three Parrots For Sale' in this file)

 A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot.  The shop owner
 points to three identical looking parrots on a perch and
 says: "the parrot on the left costs $5,000.00."  "Why does
 the parrot cost so much?" asks the man.

 The owner says, "Well the parrot knows how to use a computer".
 The man then asks about the next parrot to be told that this
 one costs $15,000 because it can do everything the other
 parrot can do plus it knows how to use the UNIX operating
 system. Naturally, the increasingly startled man asks about
 the third parrot to be told that it costs $30,000.   Needless
 to say this begs the question "What can it do?"

 To which the owner replies, "To be honest I have never seen
 him do a thing but the other two call him boss!".

Top
Subj:     Parrot Named Moses And The Burglar (S306, S623c)
          From: gheckman on 12/11/2002
      and From: ginafm on 12/15/2008

 A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his
 flashlight around looking for valuables, and when he
 picked up a VCR to place in his sack, a strange, dis-
 embodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is
 watching you."

 He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight
 out and froze.  When he heard nothing more after a bit,
 he shook his head, promised himself a long vacation
 after his next big score, then clicked the light back
 on and began searching for more valuables.  Just as he
 pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires,
 clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you."

 Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically,
 looking for the source of the voice.  Finally, in the
 corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on
 a parrot...

 "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot.

 "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just
 trying to warn you."

 The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who the heck are you?"

 "Moses," replied the bird.

 "Moses?" the burglar laughed.  "What kind of people would
 name a parrot Moses?"

 The bird promptly answered, "Probably the same kind of
 people that would name a 140 pound Rottweiler Jesus."

Top
Subj:     Christmas Dinner - Audio (S624d)
          From: darrellvip on 12/27/2008
Drawing from HowStuffWorks.com
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/8elpz_n4b8I

 (Also see 'Three Viddishe Son's Presents For Mom' in Jewish1)

 This is a cute, audio joke about a parrot done with pictures
 in a video clip.  Click 'HERE' to see and hear it.

Top
Subj:     A Man And A Parrot On A Plane (S285b)
          From: Lots of Jokes on 7/24/01
      and From: BennoRo on 7/14/2002

 A man boards a plane, and sitting next to him is a parrot.
 Shortly thereafter, the stewardess asks the man if he
 would like something to drink.

 "Yes, coffee, please." the man answered.

 "And a whiskey for me, ya dumb bitch!" squawked the parrot.

 Clearly shaken, the woman returns with the parrot's whiskey,
 but without the coffee.

"Excuse me, miss," began the man, "but you forgot my coffee."

"Yes, sir, I'll get it right now." answered the stewardess.

 "And another whiskey, ya fuckin' slut!" squawked the parrot.

 Again, shaken, the stewardess returns with whiskey, but
 without the man's coffee.

 The man was quite irritated. "Look," he began. " I've tried
 to be nice, but it seems I'll have to treat you as the
 parrot here has.  Get my damn coffe before I kick your fat
 ass! NOW!"

 The woman scurried off, but soon returns with two enormous
 security guards. The three escorted the man and parrot to
 the emergency exit, where they were promptly ejected at
 35,000 feet.

 On the way down, the parrot turned to the man and said,
 "You sure got balls for someone who can't fly!"


Subj:     Swearing Parrot (S243b, S620b)
          From: Ricky W. on 11/19/04
      and From: tom on 11/24/2008

 There's this fella with a parrot.  And this parrot swears
 like an old salt, I mean he's a pistol.  He can swear for
 five minutes straight without repeating himself.  Trouble
 is, the guy who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and
 the bird's foul mouth is driving him nuts.

 One day, it just gets to be too much and the guy grabs the
 bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT
 IT!"

 But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever.

 Then the guy gets angry and says, "OK for you," and locks the
 bird in a kitchen cabinet.  This really aggravates the bird
 and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him
 out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of vulgarities that
 would make a sailor blush.

 At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into
 the freezer.  For the first few seconds there is a terrible
 din.  The bird kicks and claws and thrashes.  Then it suddenly
 gets very quiet.

 At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that
 the bird may be hurt.  After a couple of minutes of silence,
 he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door.

 The bird meekly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and
 says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you.  I'll do
 my best to improve my vocabulary from now on."  The man is
 astounded and amazed at the transformation that has come over
 the parrot.  Then the parrot says, "By the way, what did the
 CHICKEN DO?"

Top
Subj:     Kakapo - The Bird That Can't Fly (S851d)
          From: Mel's Video of the Day on 5/2/13
Drawing from EtonNHM.com...
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=Opv8vZ6RvB0&vq=large
 Source2: http://www.coolestone.com/media/5743/
..........Kakapo---The-Bird-That-Cant-Fly--Hilarious-/

 Last chance to see is a series following Stephen Fry and Mark
 Carwardine re-tracing Douglas Adams track on a trip around
 the world to get what could possibly be a last look at some
 of the most endangered species on the planet.  The combined
 wit of Stephen Fry and the knowledge of Mark Carwardine makes
 for some compelling and entertaining viewing.  The infamous
 scene where Stephen Fry and Mark Carwardine meet the rare
 parrot the Kakapo for the first time in daylight. The Kakapo
 seems to take a liking to Mark and leaves an impression.
 Click on the above source, or 'HERE' for my copy, to see
 this bizarre encounter with this rare Kakapo parrot.

Top
Subj:     Swearing Parrot Meets Christian Parrots (S187, S607b)
          From: crtoth516 on 08/29/2000
      and From: ginafm on 8/21/2008

 A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, 'Father,
 I have a problem.  I have two female parrots, but they
 only know how to say one thing.'

 'What do they say?' the priest inquired.

 They say, 'Hi, we're hookers!  Do you want to have some fun?'

 That's obscene!' the priest exclaimed,

 Then he thought for a moment. 'You know,' he said, 'I may
 have a solution to your problem.  I have two male talking
 parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible.
 Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put
 them in the cage with Francis and Peter.  My parrots can
 teach your parrots to praise and worship, and your parrots
 are sure to stop saying that phrase in no time.'

 Thank you,' the woman responded, 'this may very well be
 the solution.'
 

 The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's
 house.  As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male
 parrots were inside their cage holding rosary beads and
 praying.  Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots
 in with them.

 After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison:
 Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?'

 There was stunned silence.  Shocked, one male parrot looked
 over at the other male parrot and exclaimed, 'Put the beads
 away, Frank.  Our prayers have been answered!'

Top
Subj:     Parrot With No Legs (S372b, S545)
          From: RFSlick on 98-08-12
      and From: hellgunner50 on 6/25/2007

 A guy decides that maybe he'd like to have a pet and goes
 to a pet shop.  After looking around he spots a parrot
 sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs.
 The guy says out loud, "Geez, I wonder what happened to this
 parrot?"

 The parrot answers the guy's question, "I was born this way.
 I'm a defective parrot."

 "Ha, ha," the guy laughs. "It sounded like this parrot
 actually understood what I said and answered me."

 "I understood every word," says the parrot. "I am a highly
 intelligent, thoroughly educated bird."

 "Oh, yeah?" the guy asks. "Then answer this: how do you
 hang onto your perch without any feet?"

 "Well," the parrot says, "this is a little embarrassing, but
 since you asked I'll tell you.  I wrap my little parrot penis
 around this wooden bar, kind of like a little hook. You can't
 see it cause of my feathers."

 "Wow," says the guy, "you really can understand and answer,
 can't you?"

 "Of course. I speak both Spanish and English.  I can converse
 with reasonable competence on almost any subject: politics,
 religion, sports, physics, philosophy ... and I am especially
 good at ornithology.  You ought to buy me.  I am a great
 companion."

 The guy looks at the price tag. $200. He says.  "I can't
 afford that."

 "Pssst," the parrot hisses, motioning the guy over with one
 wing.  "Nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet.  You
 can get me for $20, just make an offer."

 The guy offers 20 dollars and walks out with the parrot.

 Weeks go by.  The parrot is sensational.  He's funny, he's
 interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything,
 sympathizes, gives good advice.  The guy is delighted.

 One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot says,
 "Pssst," and motions him over with one wing.  The guy goes
 up close to the cage.  "I don't know if I should tell you
 this or not", says the parrot, "but it's about your wife
 and the mailman..."

 "What?" says the guy. "What?"

 "Well," the parrot says, "when the mailman came to the door
 today your wife greeted him in a sheer nightgown and kissed
 him on the mouth."

 "What happened then?" asks the guy.

 "Then the mailman came into the house and lifted up the
 nightgown and began petting her all over," reports the
 parrot.  "Then he lifted up the nightgown, got down on his
 knees and began to lick her body, starting with her breasts
 slowly going down and down..."

 The parrot pauses for a long time ...

 "What happened? What happened?" says the frantic guy.

 "I don't know," says the parrot, "My dick got hard and I
 fell off my perch."


Subj:     Short Parrot Jokes
 

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Subj:     A One Winged Cockatoo (S522)
          From: edapsmas on 1/17/2007
 Source: http://www.juliusbergh.com/cocky/
 This is a four page true story about love, compassion,
 friendship, and loyalty.  You can see it at the source
 above, or on my site by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     B.C. Comic Strip (731)
          By Johnny Hart (1931-2007)
          From: Creators.com on 1/14/2011
 Source: http://comics.washingtonpost.com/11_comics_bc.html
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Subj:     The Death Of A Parrot GIF (S510b)
          From: darrell94590 on 11/1/2005
 This animated GIF is a cute little pun.  You can view it
 on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.
 

From: igiggle on 4/12/2005 (S429b in Political2)
 When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber.
   -- Sir Winston Churchill

 The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without
 turning it's head are the rabbit and the parrot.

                            \\\//
                           -(o o)-
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.............................From Smiley_Central
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