Subj:     Jokes About Bugs, Spiders, Snails And Etc.
..........(Includes 67 jokes and articles, 13 1001n,25,cf,vXT2a3,16)

          Click "Here" for Bugs_Etc-Supp

Includes The Following:  The Flea Wants A Holiday - Video (S640)
.........................Two Spiders Mating In Garden (S189, S814)
.........................Butterfly In Slow Motion - Vid (S863-Supp)
.........................Larva - Korean Animations (S877 - Supp)

Apple w/Worm from AGAG Animation Gallery
.........................TED Presentation - Wings of Life (S785)
.........................Man Afraid Of Bees Is Tied To Tree (S46)
.........................Knife Throwing Mistake - Commercial (S713)
.........................Spider Webs Explained (S468b)
.........................Ripley's Believe It Or Not! (S626b)
.........................The Sex Of A Fly (S270, S800)
.........................Spiders On Drugs - Video (S524c)
.........................Licking Envelopes (S221)
.........................Ripley's Believe It Or Not! #2 (S627b)
.........................Lessons Learned From Worms (S216, S834)
.........................The Fly - Video (S563b)
.........................Man Buys Centipede As Pet (S97, S850)
.........................Ripley's Believe It Or Not! #3 (S631b)
.........................Woman Fights Cockroach (S133)
.........................Butterfly Put A Hole In Your Roof? - Video (S564c)
.........................A Snail And His Car
.........................Ripley's Believe It Or Not! #4 (S668)
.........................Husband Gathers Snails
.........................Cicada Life Cycle - Video (S688, S878)
.........................Two Fleas At The Beach (S285, S586)
.........................E-Mail Bug - GIF (S534)
.........................Two Bees Talk (S86, S363)
.........................Short Bug, Spider, Snail And Etc. Jokes
..............................The Fly in the Armsterdam Urinal (S451 in Supp)
..............................Bizarro Cartoon (S722)
..............................Butterflies PPS (S663)
..............................Alien Looking Caterpillars (S650b)
..............................Play With Spider (S627c)
..............................Female Fireflies (S328b)
..............................Ripley's Believe It Or Not! #5 (S678b)
..............................Smoking Scorpions (S254)
..............................Bees and Mobile Phones (S535c)
..............................Worker Bees Unite (S284)
..............................Fly Story - GIF (S461)
..............................'Crush Freaks' and Porn (S296b)
..............................You Know It's A Bad Day When... (S447)
..............................Teaching About Worker Ants (S312b)
..............................Spider S And M (S435b)
..............................Black Widow Spiders As Pesticide (S304b)
..............................Ant Express - GIF (S412b)
..............................Two Weevils Grew Up (S216)
..............................Glasswing Butterfly (S512c)
..............................Part of:  A Little History From the 1500s

Also see ARTIST file  - '3D Drawing By Stefan Pabst' - Video
         BIRDS file   - 'The Buzzard, Bat, And Bumblebee'
         BLACKS1 file - 'The Ant And The Grasshopper'
         CARS2 file   - 'Dick Hits Pickup Windshield'
         COW/SHEEP-SUP- 'A Cow, An Ant And An Old Fart'
         DARWIN AWRDS2- 'Killing Bees'
         DRINKING file- 'The Ant'
         EDEN file    - 'The First Time Adam And Eve Have Sex'
         ELDERLY1 file- 'Worms can Teach You Something'
         FACTS3 file  - 'New Airport Managers'
         FARMER-SUPP  - 'The Farmer And The Bug Spray Salesman'
         HALLOWEEN    - 'Snail Costume'
         HALLOWEEN-SUP- 'Scary Legs - Simon's Cat (A Halloween Special)' - Video
         HOOKER file  - 'Farmer's Son's First Time At Brothel'
         Ig Nobel file- 'Biology Prize'
         IRISH1 file  - 'Englishman, Irishman, And Scotsman In A Bar'
         KIDS2 file   - 'Grandfather And Kid Go To Cabin'
         MAILMAN file - 'Snail Mail'
         MATH4-SUPP   - 'Math Prob. - How Many Ants?'
         OTHER PPS    - 'Extraordinary Nature Photos'
         POLICE2 file - 'Trooper Stops Farmer'
         RELIGION2    - 'Lot And His Wife'
         SEX2 file    - 'Waiting For You...'
         SEX3 file    - 'Jane Meets Tarzan'
         SHIT file    - 'Fly Eats Cow Manure'
         SUPERHEROES  - 'B.C. Sunday Comic Strip'
         WEDDING file - 'Non Sequitur Cartoon'

Subj:     The Flea Wants A Holiday (S640d)
          From: tom on 4/11/2009
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/5XWTVS_luNo
.......Click 'HERE' to hear Duston Hoffman tells a dirty
.......joke on The Graham Norton Show on BBC television.
Subj:     Two Spiders Mating In Garden (S189, S814)
          From: RFSlick on 09/15/2000
      and From: kgilmour2000 on 8/17/2012

 A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden.
 He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little
 girl was. Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her
 seeing the wonders.

 Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He
 went over to her to see what work of God had captured
 her attention. He noticed she was looking at two spiders

 'Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?' she asked.

 'They're mating,' her father replied.

 'What do you call the spider on top?' she asked.

 'That's a Daddy Longlegs,' her father answered.

 'So, the other one is a Mommy Long legs?' the little
 girl asked.

 As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and
 innocent question he replied 'No dear. Both of them
 are Daddy Longlegs.'

 The little girl thought for a moment, then took her
 foot and stamped them flat. "Well, that might be okay
 in San Francisco, but we're not having any of that
 shit in Montana."

Subj:     TED Presentation - Wings of Life (S785d)
          Made by Louie Schwartzberg
          From: darrelldre on 1/23/2012
 Source1: www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/xHkq1edcbk4?rel=0
 Source2: http://www.youtube.com/embed/MQiszdkOwuU

 This video was shown at the TED conference in 2011, with
 scenes from "Wings of Life", a film about the threat to
 essential pollinators that produce over a third of the
 food we eat.  The seductive love dance between flowers
 and pollinators sustains the fabric of life and is the
 mystical keystone event where the animal and plant worlds
 intersect that make the world go round.

 This upcoming film comes from director and cinematographer
 Louie Schwartzberg.  Musical score provided by Bliss.

 Click 'HERE' to see this absolutely exquisite video.

Subj:     Man Afraid Of Bees Is Tied To Tree (S46)
          From: Bawdy.Net Collage #216 on 97-12-13

 (See 'The Farmer And The Bug Spray Salesman' in Farmer-Supp)

 A fella was in the market to buy some acreage.  He found
 just what he was looking for, but it was a little expensive.
 During an inspection of the property, however, he found a
 hive of bees.

 He told the owner that he was deathly afraid of bees, and
 there was no way he could consider this piece of land.
 The landowner assured him that the bees were completely
 harmless, but the buyer would have no part of it.

 Finally, the landowner made an offer.  The buyer would
 allow himself to be tied to a tree for an hour, nude,
 under the nest.  So sure of the friendliness of his bees
 was the farmer that if ONE bee were to sting him, the farm
 would be his for free.  The buyer thought it over and
 decided it was worth the risk.

 An hour later, the farmer walked out to the tree and saw
 the poor buyer slumped over in his bindings.  Fearing the
 worst, he ran up to him and asked him if he had been stung.

 The city fella looked up and weakly said, "No, but doesn't
 that calf have a mother?"

Subj:     Knife Throwing Mistake - Hilarious Commercial (S713d)
          From: FunniestStuff.net on 8/12/2010 
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/90luB9_lGhE

 Click 'HERE' to see this very cute, bug spray commercial.

Subj:     Spider Webs Explained (S468b)
          From: igiggle on 1/6/2006

 A spiders web is made of two types of silk, one sticky and
 the other not. The spider begins the web with the non-sticky
 silk and forms the "spokes".  After the frame is constructed
 and secure, the spider goes back with the sticky silk and
 completes the web design we are so familiar with, connecting
 spoke to spoke.  They will also add rows connecting the spokes
 to allow them access for web maintenance.

 Spend time watching a spider and you will see that they pain-
 stakingly avoid the sticky silk and walk on the spokes. Should
 the spider be startled and walk in the sticky silk it will
 affix to the spider the same as it would you or any thing else.
 Spiders recycle their webbing, so a spider that gets stuck in
 its own web may eat its way out.

     by John Graziano on 1/4/2009
 Source: http://comics.com/ripleys_believe_it_or_not/
Subj:     The Sex Of A Fly (S270, S800)
          From: RFSlick on 4/1/2002
      and From: redcatt on 5/11/2012

 A woman walked into the kitchen to see her husband stalking
 around with a fly swatter.

 "Good hunting today?" she ventured.

 "Yup," he answered proudly. "Three males and two females."

 "Reveal to me, oh, great one, how you could tell the sex
 of a fly you killed."

 "Three were on the beer can; two were on the phone."
..................GIF From: gattica30 on 7/5/2009
Subj:     Spiders On Drugs (S524c,d)
          From: darrell94590 on 1/26/2007
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/sHzdsFiBbFc

 You can view this cute video by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     Licking Envelopes (S221)
          From: h2oman19 on 4/25/2001

 (See 'The Ultimate Urban Legend' in STORIES)

 The following is a true story reported by CNN:

 A woman working in the mail room licked the envelopes and
 postage stamps instead of using a sponge.  The lady cut her
 tongue on an envelope - a week later she noticed an abnormal
 swelling of her tongue.  She went to the doctor, and they
 found nothing wrong.  The tongue was not sore or anything.
 A couple of days alter, her tongue started to swell more,
 and it began to get really sore, so sore, that she could
 not eat.  She went back to the hospital and demanded some-
 thing be done.  The doctor took an X-ray of her tongue, and
 notice a lump.  He prepared her for minor surgery.  When
 the doctor cut her tongue open, a live roach crawled out.
 There were roach eggs on the seal of the envelope.  The egg
 was able to hatch inside of the tongue, because of her
 saliva. It was warm and moist.


 Andy Hume, wrote: "Hey, I used to work in an envelope factory.
 You wouldn't believe the things that float around in those
 gum applicator trays.  I haven't licked an envelope in years."

 To All:
 From a print shop worker.
 I used to work for a print shop (32 years ago) and we were
 told NEVER TO LICK THE ENVELOPES.  I never understood why
 until I had to go into storage and pull out 2500 envelopes
 that were already printed for a customer who was doing a
 mailing, and I saw several squads of roaches roaming around
 inside a couple of boxes with eggs everywhere.  They eat
 the glue on the envelopes.  I think print shops have a
 harder time controlling roaches than restaurants.  I always
 buy the self sealing type.  Or, if need be, I use a glue
 stick to seal one that has the type of glue that needs to
 be wet to stick.


From: WSelwa@qwiz.com on 4/30/2001
 "Licking envelopes" is a hoax.  Click the link below.  Or,
 go to http://hoaxbusters.ciac.org, click the link to search
 the site, and type "roach".  :)

     by John Graziano on 1/14/2009
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/ripleysbelieveitornot/2009/01/14
Click on the button below

     for this amazing 

       true story.



Subj:     Lessons Learned From Worms (S216, S834)
          From: KMACINTY on 3/16/2001
      and From: virv on 12/31/2012

 Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
 The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol.
 The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke.
 The third worm was put into a jar of sperm.
 The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil.

 After one day:
 The first worm -- dead
 Second worm -- dead
 Third worm -- dead
 Fourth worm -- alive

 As long as you drink, smoke and have sex, you won't get worms.

Subj:     The Fly (S563b,d)
          From: darrellvip on 11/8/2007
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/KuN8WVKLxG4

 What's a guy do when he eats a fly by accident?  Click 'HERE'.
 to watch this silly, dumb, Digi Walker commercial.

Subj:     Man Buys Centipede As Pet (S97, S850)
          From: janeenmarie on 5/22/2003
      and From: virv on 4/27/2013

 A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he
 wants to buy a pet that can do everything.

 The shop owner suggests a faithful dog.

 The man replies, "Come on, a dog?"

 The owner says, "How about a cat?"

 The man replies, "No way!  A cat certainly can't do
 everything. I want a pet that can do everything!"

 The shop owner thinks for a minute, then says,
 "I've got it! A centipede!"

 The man says, "A centipede?  I can't imagine a centipede
 doing everything, but okay... I'll try a centipede." He
 gets the centipede home and says to the centipede,
 "Clean the kitchen."

 Thirty minutes later, he walks into the kitchen and...
 it's immaculate! All the dishes and silverware have been
 washed, dried, and put away; the counter-tops cleaned; the
 appliances sparkling; the floor waxed.  He's absolutely

 He says to the centipede, "Go clean the living room."

 Twenty minutes later, he walks into the living room. The
 carpet has been vacuumed; the furniture cleaned and dusted;
 the pillows on the sofa plumped; plants watered.

 The man thinks to himself, "This is the most amazing thing
 I've ever seen. This really is a pet that can do

 Next he says to the centipede, "Run down to the corner and
 get me a newspaper."

 The centipede walks out the door. 10 minutes later...
 no centipede.

 20 minutes later... no centipede.  30 minutes later...
 no centipede.

 By this point the man is wondering what's going on. The
 centipede should have been back in a couple of minutes.
 45 minutes later... still no centipede!

 He can't imagine what could have happened. Did the
 centipede run away?  Did it get run over by a car?
 Where is that centipede?

 So he goes to the front door, opens it ... and there's
 the centipede sitting right outside.

 The man says, "Hey!!! I sent you down to the corner store
 45 minutes ago to get me a newspaper. What's the matter?!"

 The centipede says, "I'm goin'!  I'm goin'!  I'm just
 puttin' on my shoes!"

     by John Graziano on 1/16/2009
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/ripleysbelieveitornot/2009/01/16
Subj:     Woman Fights Cockroach (S133)

 Cockroach slain, husband badly hurt.

 TEL AVIV - An Israeli woman's fight with a stubborn cockroach
 put her husband in the hospital with burns, a broken pelvis
 and broken ribs, the Jerusalem Post reported.

 The woman, frightened by the insect when she found it in the
 living room, stepped on it, threw it in the toilet and sprayed
 a full can of insecticide on it when it refused to die.

 Her husband came home from work, went to the toilet and lit a
 cigarette.  When he threw the cigarette butt into the bowl,
 the insecticide ignited, "seriously burning his sensitive
 parts," the Post wrote.

 When paramedics were called to the home in Tel Aviv, they
 laughed so hard when they learned what had happened that they
 dropped the stretcher down the stairs, breaking the unidentified
 man's pelvis and ribs.

 EDITORS NOTE: No report if the roach survived.

Subj:     How Did The Butterfly Put A Hole In Your Roof? (S564c,d)
          From: darrellvip on 11/13/2007
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/Vt1GON-sOHU

 This cute Nationwide insurance commercial will put a smile on
 your face.  Click 'HERE' to view it.

Subj:     A Snail And His Car (s325)
          From: LABLaughs.com on 4/24/2003

 Once upon a time, there was a snail who was sick and tired
 of his reputation for being so slow.  He decided to get
 some fast wheels to make up the difference.  After shopping
 around a while, he decided that the Datsun 240-Z was the
 car to get.  So the snail goes to the nearest Datsun dealer
 and says he wants to buy the 240-Z, but he wants it repainted

 The dealer asks, "Why 'S'?"

 The snail replies, "'S' stands for snail.  I want everybody
 who see me roaring past to know who's driving."

 Well, the dealer doesn't want to lose the unique opportunity
 to sell a car to a snail, so he agrees to have the car
 repainted for a small fee.

 The snail gets his new car and spent the rest of his days
 roaring happily down the highway at top speed.  Whenever
 anyone would see him zooming by, they'd say "Wow!  Look at
 that S-car go!"

(S668 in Candy)
     by John Graziano on 10/21/2009
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/ripleysbelieveitornot/2009/10/21
Subj:     Husband Gathers Snails
          From: TNKRTEACH on 97-04-27

 A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for all
 the major status figures in Rome, Italy.  The wife was very
 excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect.  At
 the very last minute, she realized that she didn't have any
 snails for this dinner party, so she asked her husband to
 run down to the beach with the bucket she was handing him
 to gather some snails.

 Very grudgingly he agreed.  He took the bucket, walked out
 the door, down the steps, and out to the beach.  As he was
 collecting the snails, he noticed a beautiful woman strolling
 alongside the water just a little further down the beach.  He
 kept thinking to himself "Wouldn't it be great if she would
 even just come down and _talk_ to me."  He went back to
 gathering the snails.  All of a sudden he looked up, and the
 beautiful woman was standing right over him.

 They got to talking, and she invited him back to her place.
 They were at her apartment a ways down the beach, and they
 started messing around.  It got so hot and heavy, than he
 was exhausted afterwards and passed out there.  At seven
 o'clock the next morning he woke up and exclaimed, "Oh
 no!!!  My wife's dinner party!!!"  He gathered all his
 clothes, put them on real fast, grabbed his bucket, and ran
 out the door. He ran down the beach all the way to his

 He ran up the stairs of his apartment. He was in such a
 hurry that when he got to the top of the stairs, he dropped
 the bucket of snails.  There were snails all down the stairs.
 The door opened just then, with a very angry wife standing
 in the door way wondering where he's been all this time.  He
 looked at the snails all down the steps, then he looked at
 her, then back at the snails and said: "Come on guys, we're
 almost there!"

Subj:     Cicada Life Cycle (S688d, S878)
          From: Wimp.com on 3/21/2010
 Source1: http://www.wimp.com/cicadacycle/
 Source2: http://www.youtube.com/embed/tjLiWy2nT7U

 After lying beneath the earth for up to 17 years, cicadas
 venture above ground as a massive group to shed their
 larvae shells, sprout wings and sing for a mate.  Sir David
 Attenborough demonstrates how easy it is to hypnotize a
 male cicada with the click of his fingers in this amazing
 wildlife video from BBC animal show 'Life in the Undergrowth'.

 Click 'HERE' for my copy, to see this fascinating video.

Subj:     Two Fleas At The Beach (S285, S586)
          From: coreymac on 7/13/2002
      and From: LABLaughsAdult on 3/12/2008

 A Flea named Bob is lying on a towel on the beach getting a
 good tan, he gets up to grab a beer and he sees his friend,
 Mike, walking across the beach looking all disheveled. "Hey,
 Mike!" says Bob, "Why do you look so bad? What happened?"
 "Well," says Mike, "I wanted to go to the beach so I got in
 this guys mustach and he rode a motorcycle the whole way here
 so I got all messed up in the wind." "No, no, no, NO, Mike,"
 Says Bob, "what you do is next year get on an airplane and go
 into the bathroom, get up on the toilet seat and when the
 stewardess goes to the bathroom, jump up into her pubic hair,
 it makes for a great ride!" "Thanks Bob, I'll remember that."

 So next year Bob is lying on the same beach when he looks up
 and sees Mike looking the same as he did last year. "Mike,"
 Said Bob, "What happened to you, I thought that I told you
 to get on the Stewardess' pubic hair." "I did," said Mike,
 "I got on the toilet seat, just like you said, then, when
 she came in I jumped up on her pubic hair. Well it was so
 comfortable I fell asleep and when I woke up I was on some
 guy's mustach on a motorcycle.

Subj:     E-Mail Bug (S534)
          From: SCOTCOB on 4/16/2007

 I got this email bug on my computer from Art.  I thought
 you might find it cute too.
Subj:     Two Bees Talk (S363)
          From: Bawdy.Net Collage #203 on 97-10-22
      and From: pns@ on 1/12/2004

 Two bees buzz around what's left of a rose bush. "How was
 your summer?" asks bee number one.  "Not too good," says
 bee two.  "Lotta rain, lotta cold.  Not enough flowers, not
 enough pollen."

 The first bee has an idea.  "Hey, why don't you go down the
 corner and hang a left? There's a bar mitzvah going on.
 Plenty of flowers and fruit."  Bee two buzzes, "Thanks!"
 and takes off.

 An hour later, the bees bump into each other again. "How
 was the bar mitzvah?" asks the info-bee. "Great!" says

 The first bee peers at his pal and wonders, "What's that
 on your head?"

 "A yarmulke," is the answer. "I didn't want them to think
 I was a wasp."

Subj:     Short Bug, Spider And Snail Jokes

Subj:     Bizarro Cartoon (S722)
          By Dan Piraro on 11/16/2010
 Source: http://bizarro.com/comics/november-16-2010/
Subj:     Butterflies PPS (S663)
          From: lubin100 on 9/20/2009
Photo from Wikipedia
 This PowerPoint Show is very pleasant and beautiful.
 Click 'HERE' to see it.

Subj:     Alien Looking Caterpillars (S650b)
          From: darrellvip on 6/22/2009
 Source: http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/
 These sixteen photos of strange caterpillars are amazing.
 Click 'HERE' to see this web page.

Subj:     Play With Spider (S627c)
          From: gattica30 on 1/15/2009
..........At: http://www.onemotion.com/flash/spider/
 This interactive program allows you to play with
 a tarantula and feed him.  The graphics seem real.
 Click on the above source to begun play.

Subj:     Female Fireflies (S328b)
          From: igiggle on 5/1/2003
 The fatal fakery of the female firefly is unique.
 All fireflies blink signals, but different kinds of
 fireflies have different flashing patterns.  That's
 because the species don't interbreed.  It's no problem
 for fireflies - they can recognize signals from their
 own kind.  After breeding, a female gets the munchies.
 So she reads the signals for a different purpose.  She
 responds to a male of another firefly species, and has
 him for dinner - literally.

Subj:     Ripley's Believe It or Not! (S678b)
          by John Grazianoon 1/04/2010
Title from Ripleys.com
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/ripleysbelieveitornot/2010/01/04
Subj:     Bees and Mobile Phones (S535c)
          From: edapsmas on 4/18/2007
 Source: (Removed from news.independent.co.uk)
Drawing from
Imagitek Network Graphic Design
 (See 'The Danger Of Wi-Fi' in COMPUTER-SUPP)
 Is there a connection between the world-wide disappearance
 of bees and our mobile phones?  You can read this fascinating
 article by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:.....Smoking Scorpions (S254)
          From: pns on 12/15/2001
 A small but growing number of people in strife-torn Pakistan
 deal with their woes by smoking scorpions, according to a
 November Reuters dispatch from Quetta.  Users dry the
 scorpion's stingers, grind them up, light the powder, and
 suck in the smoke.  "When I smoke scorpion," said Ghulam
 Raza, "then the heroin is like nothing to me."  Quetta
 addicts tend to hang out at a local cemetery, where out-
 siders will not bother them (though there is an occasional
 problem with enstupored persons falling into partially dug
 graves). [Yahoo-Reuters, 11-7-01]

Subj:     Worker Bees Unite (S284)
          From: jerry on 7/8/2002
 Time magazine reports that a radical vegan group is
 trying to stop people from eating honey because, they
 say, honey production uses the labor of oppressed
 worker bees, for those who didn't think it could ever
 get any sillier.

 NY Post 8-Jul-02

Subj:     Fly Story (S461)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 11/24/2005
 Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
 (Also see 'Fly Eats Cow Manure' in Shit)
 This cute animated GIF tells a story with a moral.  You can
 see it by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     'Crush Freaks' and Porn (S296b)
          From: jerry on 10/3/2002
 Source: (Removed from insects.org)
 According to the Department of Entomology, North Carolina
 State University, there are men who become sexually aroused
 by watching women squish insects with their feet.

 Called "crush freaks," they are men who wish to be an
 insect ground underfoot.  "Witnessing or imagining the act
 of a woman crushing an insect is sexually arousing.  The
 bigger the foot the better, shoe size 9 and up are preferred."

 The American Journal Of Crush Freaks currently has 500
 members.  And yes, they produce their own porn flicks
 consisting of, you guessed it, women squishing insects.

Subj:     You Know It's A Bad Day When... (S447)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 8/10/2005
..........Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
 To view this cute picture click 'HERE'.

Subj:     Teaching About Worker Ants (S312b)
          From: LABLaughs.com on 1/17/2003
 The teacher was giving her class of seven-year-olds a
 natural-history lesson. "Worker ants," she told them,
 "can carry pieces of food five times their own weight.
 What do you conclude from that?"

 One child was ready with the answer: "They don't have
 a union."

Subj:     Spider S And M (S435b)
          From: darrell94590 on 5/27/2005
You can view the cartoon on my site by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     Black Widow Spiders As Pesticide (S304b)
          From: jerry on 11/26/2002
 The UK's Tesco supermarket chain for uses deadly black
 widow spiders as a "natural pesticide" in their grape
 vineyards in California leading to three customers
 finding the spiders on their purchased grape bunches.
 Two of the spiders were still alive.

 Tesco says they were just responding to customer demand
 for keeping their food all "natural," for those of you
 who think "all natural" has to be better and who forget
 that poison ivy, rattlesnakes, influenza, salmonella
 and the black plague are "all natural" too.

 Tesco says finding the live deadly black widow spiders
 on their grapes is a good thing.  "The fact that the
 spiders are alive is evidence that we're not using
 pesticides - because if we were they'd be dead," says
 their well-pleased spokesperson.  Or in other words
 finding people dead from black widow bites is just
 evidence that they aren't using pesticides and everyone
 should be happy.

 UK Sun 27-Nov-02

Subj:     Ant Express (S412b)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 12/10/2004
..........Source: (Removed from ezines4all.com)
 To see this dumb animated GIF, click 'HERE'.

Subj:     Two Weevils Grew Up  (S216)
          From: CHRISDADDYG on 3/15/2001
 (Also see 'Two Weevils Grew Up' in WORD JOKES2)
 Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina.  One went to
 Hollywood and became a famous actor.  The other stayed
 behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much.
 The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of
 two weevils.

Subj:     Glasswing Butterfly (S512c)
          From: darrell94590 on 11/9/2006
 Glasswing Butterfly lives in South America.  A butterfly
 with transparent wings that is both rare and beautiful.
 To view and read about them, click 'HERE'.

Subj:     Part of:  A Little History From the 1500s in FACTS5
 Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw, piled high, with no
 wood underneath.  It was the only place for animals to get
 warm, so all the dogs, cats and other small animals (mice
 rats, and bugs) lived in the roof.  When it rained it became
 slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off
 the  roof -- hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."
 There was nothing to stop things from falling into the
 house.  This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs
 and other droppings could really mess up your nice clean bed.
 Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top
 afforded some protection.  That's how canopy beds came into

 About 20% of all adults in the US have or have had a
 cockroach that called their inner ear canal HOME. They
 enter while you sleep! This rates a good 10 on the
 ewwww-yuck scale and right up there with the fact that
 many of us have eaten a spider in our sleep tooooo

 The average housefly lives for one month.

 What is the average life-span of a dragonfly?
 A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.

 The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30
    times its own weight and always falls over on its right
    side when intoxicated.

 The flea can jump 350 times its body length, that is
    like a human jumping the length of a football field.

 A cockroach will live nine days without it's head,
    before it starves to death.

 The male praying mantis cannot copulate while
    its head is attached to its body. The female
    initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.

 Butterflies taste with their feet.

 A snail got mugged by two tortoises. When he went to the
 police, they questioned him as to what happened.  He said,
 "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"

 Did you ever smell moth balls?
 You did? How'd you get his little legs apart?

 What's the difference between a mosquito and a fly?
 A mosquito can fly, but a fly can't mosquito.  --  Yatin

 What Happened to the fly on the toilet seat?
 He got pissed off!  --  Preston ? Tony

From: RFSlick on 98-09-22
 On average people fear spiders more than they do death.

 Did you know that you are more likely to be killed
 by a champagne cork than by a poisonous spider?

From: auntieg on 98-11-14
 The world's termites outweigh the world's humans 10 to 1.

From: RFSlick on 99-02-14
 The male gypsy moth can "smell" the virgin female gypsy
 moth from 1.8 miles away. [DeJonghe, Chris] (But does he

From: mombear1 on 8/21/2001 (S238)
 The original name for butterfly was flutterby.

From: TAdams on 12/5/2001 (S253)
 Some days you're the bug ?......
 Some days you're the windshield.

From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 2/11/2002 (S264)
 "Cockroaches and socialites are the only things that can
 stay up all night and eat anything."  -- Herb Caen.

From: LABLaughs.com on 4/1/2003 (S323b)
 Turn on the prudent ant thy heedful eyes. Observe her
 labors, sluggard, and be wise.  -- Samuel Johnson

From: LABLaughs.com on 7/1/2003 (S336b)
 If Noah had been truly wise, he would have swatted those
 two flies.  -- Helen Castle

From: LABLaughs.com on 10/4/2003 (S349b - in God2)
 What the caterpillar calls the end of the world,
 God calls a butterfly!

From: Anonymous Jr on 4/18/2008 (S640b)
 Science has now discovered an entire race of ants
 consisting only of females.  It is the first known
 case of females spontaneously reproducing since the
 Octamom.  -- Craig Ferguson

 Q: How does the single woman get rid of roaches?
 A: She asks them for a commitment.

From: humorlist-digest V2 #34 on 98-02-04
 Q: What kind of bees give milk?
 A: Boo bees.

From: LABLaughsAdult on 2/20/2005 (S419b - How_Many)
 Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
 A: 2 (that's if you can get them inside the light bulb)

From: darrell94590 on 5/6/2006 (S485b)
 Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males
    after mating?
 A: To stop the snoring before it starts.

                           -(o o)-
............................From Smiley_Central.