(Includes 15 jokes and articles, 01842,4,cf,md4,3)
Camel from
Animation Factory
| Subj:
Camel Jokes
(Includes 15 jokes and articles, 01842,4,cf,md4,3) |
|
Camel from Animation Factory |
Also see CONDOM file - 'Two
Old Ladies And A Condom'
MIDDLE EAST - 'US
Tourist Offered Camels For Wife'
PLANE2 file - 'How
To Tell If There's A Terrorist At The Airport'
POLIT-BUSH - 'What's
Taking So Long?'
============================================================Top
| Subj:
The Llama Movie (S614d)
From: darrellvip on 10/10/2008 (See 'The Llama Song' in Other_Animals) |
 |
Two young me put on a llama costume
and join the herd. The
man in the rear gets sexually
assaulted. This is very funny,
but it is another stupid, juvenile
male video. Click on
the above source, or 'HERE'
to see my copy, to get a laugh.
Top
Subj: Man
On Camel Dying Of Thirst (S149)
From: ossama on 98-08-03
and
From: DR SWITZER on 12/08/1999
(Also see 'Arab
And Jewish Tie Salesman' in ARAB)
A man on a camel rode through
miles of the sun-drenched desert
searching for some sign of life.
His supplies were running low
when his camel died. Now
on foot, he desperately sought refuge
from the heat, and, most importantly,
a source for water.
Suddenly, he came across a vendor
in the middle of the desert.
"Thank God I found you!" the
man cried. "Please help me. I'm
in dire need of some water."
"Well," said the vendor, "I don't
have any water. But would
you like to buy one of these
fine ties."
"What am I going to do with a tie?" the man asked.
"That's what I'm selling sir.
If you don't like it, I can't
help you."
The man left the vendor and walked
on for many more miles,
praying each minute that he
would find refuge from the scorching
sun. His eyes squinted
a bunch of times when he came across a
restaurant in the distance.
Unable to comprehend a restaurant
located in the middle of the
desert, he assumed the place was a
mirage, but decided to check
it out anyway. As he approached the
door, his mouth opened in amazement,
seeing that the place actually
existed.
The doorman stopped him before
he entered. "Excuse me sir," the
doorman said, "but you can't
come in here without a tie!"
Top
Subj: Sex
Like A Camel (S78, S842)
From: DrRibeiro
and
From: DoctorDebt on 4/22/2004
This married couple was on holiday
in Pakistan. They were
touring around the marketplace
looking at the goods and
such, when they passed this
small sandal shop. From inside
they heard a gentleman with
a Pakistani accent say, "You,
foreigners! Come in.
Come into my humble shop." So the
married couple walked in.
The Pakistani man said to them,
"I have some special sandals
I think you'd be interested
in.
They make you wild at sex like
a great desert camel." Well,
the wife was really interested
in buying the sandals after
what the man had claimed, but
her husband felt he really
didn't need the, being the sex
god he was. The husband
asked the man, "How could sandals
make you into a sex freak?"
The Pakistani man replied, "Just
try them on." Well, the
husband, after much badgering
from his wife, finally conceded
to try them on. As soon
as he slipped them onto his feet, he
got this wild look in his eyes
something his wife hadn't seen
in many years-raw sexual power.
In a blink of an eye, the
husband rushed the Pakistani
man, threw him on a table and
started tearing at the guy's
pants. All the time the Pakistani
man was screaming, "YOU HAVE
THEM ON THE WRONG FEET!".
Top
Subj: A Nun,
A Priest And A Dead Camel (S71, S677b)
From: Tom_Adams on 98-06-06
and
From: LABLaughsAdult on 12/31/2009
A nun and a priest were crossing
the Sahara desert on a
camel. On the third day
out the camel suddenly dropped
dead without warning.
After dusting themselves off, the
nun and the priest surveyed
their situation. After a
long period of silence, the
priest spoke. "Well sister,
this looks pretty grim." "I
know, father" the nun answered.
"In fact, I don't think it likely
that we can survive more
than a day or two." "I
agree" said the nun.
"Sister, since we are unlikely
to make it out of here alive,
would you do something for me?"
"Anything father."
"I have never seen a woman's
breasts and I was wondering if
I might see yours." "Well, under
the circumstances I don't
see that it would do any harm."
The nun opened her habit and
the priest enjoyed the sight
of her shapely breasts, commenting
frequently on their
beauty. "Sister would
you mind if I touched them?" She
consented and he fondled them
for several minutes.
"Father, could I ask something of you?"
"Yes sister?"
"I have never seen a man's penis. Could I see yours?"
"I suppose that would be OK,"
the priest replied lifting
his robe.
"Oh father, may I touch it?"
This time the priest consented
and after a few minutes of fondling
he was sporting a huge
erection.
"Sister, you know that if I insert
my penis in the right
place, it can give life."
"Is that true father?"
"Yes it is, sister."
"Then why don't you stick it
up that camel's ass and lets
get the fuck out of here."
(S651b)
by John Graziano From: Comics.com on 6/20/2009 |
 |
Top
Subj: Camel
Balls (S48)
From: Ossama's Laugh on 12/29/97
(Also see the movie 'Italian
Time Piece' in Thought-Time-Supp)
An 'American' tourist couple,
both sociologists, were walking
the streets of a small town
in Saudi Arabia. It was nearing
the middle of the day and they
didn't want to miss lunch at
their ramshackle hotel - the
only one in town and which
always served meals promptly.
They came upon an old herder
perched on a stool beside his
camel. "Excuse me, sir," the
man asked, "but could you tell
me the time?"
The old man glanced at them,
spat in the dirt, then turned and
reached under his camel and
hefted the animal's testicles.
After a moment, he released
them. "It is 10 minutes before
noon," he replied. The
couple exchanged confused looks,
thanked the man and hurried
back to their hotel, arriving
just in time for the meal.
Later that day, the wandering
couple found themselves again
on the same street and spied
the old herder perched beside
his camel, apparently unmoved.
Curious as to how he could
tell time by fondling his animal's
balls---an old Muslim
craft?-- they approached him
and asked again, "Sir, can you
tell us the time?" They
watched closely as he again reached
up and grabbed the camel's jewels,
seemingly judging their
weight, then pronounced, "It
is half-past four."
The couple excitedly exchanged
looks. The woman blurted,
"Oh, sir! That is an amazing
ability you have! Could you
show us how you do it?!?
"Surely," the herder responded
tiredly, and motioned them to
squat beside him. "Now, grasp
his balls gently and lift them
up to his belly." The woman
did so while her companion
watched. "What now?", she inquired.
"Now," said the old man, "look
over there, can you now see
the clock in the far tower?
When the big hand is on the..."
Top
Subj: Commander
Has Sex With Camel (S67, S459b)
From: humorlist-digest V2 #114 on 98-05-09
and
From: LABLaughsAdult on 11/9/2005
Back in the days of the glorious
British Empire, a young
officer arrived at his first
posting, the command of a tiny
fort in the middle of the desert,
twenty miles from the
nearest town. His new
second-in-command is showing him
around the base, when just outside
the fort's walls they
come across a decrepit, flea-ridden
old camel.
'What's this bloomin' camel for?' asked the officer?
'Well, sir,' his second-in-command
replied, 'the troops,
stuck out here in the desert
for months at a time, have
certain.... er.... manly needs,
from time to time. When
they need to do something about
them, they use old Deirdre
the camel here'. The officer,
rather embarrassed, says
nothing, and continues with
the tour.
A few months go by, and the officer
is beginning to feel
those 'manly needs' himself.
So he calls his number two
and says: 'I feel I may... er...
require the services of
Deirdre the camel tonight.
Tell me, when the men... er...
use her, do they have her bathed
first?'
'Yes, sir'.
'Well then, see to it that she is bathed'.
'They also have her flea-powdered, first, sir'.
'Very good, see that that is
done, too. I couldn't help
but notice that she is a rather
tall animal. Tell me, do
the men use a ladder when they,
er... mount her?'
'Yes sir, always'.
'Very well, see to it that a ladder is provided'.
'Very good sir. She'll be prepared for you within the hour.'
After an hour, the officer is
escorted to the side of the
fort, where Deirde waits, powdered,
washed and with a ladder
by her side.
The officer moves the ladder
to the back of the animal,
climbs it, drops his pants and
begins furiously ramming
into the backside of the animal.
He motions to his
second-in-command:
'Tell me, is this how the men do it?'
'Well, no sir, they normally
ride the camel to the nearest
town and pay for a prostitute,
sir'.
Top
Subj: Man
And Camel In Desert (S291b)
From Bawdy.Net Collage #15
This guy is in the desert riding
around on a camel and has
been lost for weeks on end.
With plenty of water and food,
the only thing that he is lacking
is sex and he's as horny
as hell. After a couple
more days, he is unable to bear it
any longer and tries to have
a go at the camel, but every
time he tries to mount at the
rear, the camel walks forward.
He tries 3 times with no success
and gets pissed off and
climbs back on the camel's back
and rides off.
After a week he tries again,
but to no avail. Two days later
he sees a mirage - a gorgeous
woman lying naked tied to stakes
in the ground. He can't
believe his luck when he realizes
that it's not a mirage.
He jumps off the camel whips out his
knife and runs to the woman.
"Oh mister, please untie me and
I will do anything for you.
ANYTHING!!" Before you
could say "Mount a camel" he has the
woman untied.
"What can I do for you?" she asked.
"Oh, please...." he says as he
walks to the back of the camel,
"Hold this fucking camel steady
for me".
Subj: Short
Camel Jokes
 |
Subj:
Judging Others (S658b)
From: rfslick on 8/15/2009 |
| Subj:
Camel Picture (S501b)
From: darrell94590 on 8/24/2006 |
 |
Camel's milk does not curdle.
In Nevada it is illegal to drive a camel on the highway...
From: mombear1 on 8/21/2001 (S238)
A rat can last longer without
water than a camel.
From: Dan_Dwyer on 11/4/2002 (S301b)
Q: What do you call a camel
with FOUR humps?
A: It's a Saudi Quattro.
From: Chris F. verbally on 8/31/03
(S344b)
Q: Why are camels called 'Ships
of the Desert'?
A: Because of all the Arab semen
in them.
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Strange
creature from Smiliemania.da
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