| Subj:
Horse Jokes
(Includes 45 jokes and articles, 01825,17,cf,md2,16)
Click "Here" for Horse-Supp
|
 |
Horse and Flies from PageWorks |
.........................Five Funny Horse Race Videos (S801)
.........................Horseback Riding Accident (S45, S807)
.........................The Royal Friesian Horse - Movie (S821)
.........................Horse Race At Tydall Beach
.........................A Donkey With Two Riders (S815)
.........................Old Man, A Boy And A Donkey (S140, S557b)
.........................Lorenzo, The Flying French Man - Movie (S619)
.........................Farmer Ties Bedsheet On Horse (DU)
.........................The Sketch Show - Irish Jockey - Movies (S774)
.........................Cajun Buys Dead Donkey (S264c, S749)
.........................Catholic Horses (S581)
.........................How To Tell If Your Ass Is Too Small - Movie (S526c)
.........................Riding Blue Steel (S378b)
.........................Farmer's Donkey Stuck In A Well (S275b, S621b)
.........................The Donkey In A Well II - Movie (S413)
.........................Chicken And Horse Get Stuck (S168, S528c)
.........................Midget With Lisp Buys A Horse (S418)
.........................Patches The Horse - Movie (S418b)
.........................Father O'Malley And A Dead Jackass (S392, S798)
.........................Pastor Finds Dead Mule (S192, S496)
.........................Ripley's Believe It Or Not! (S638b)
.........................A Friend Gives You A Horse (S140)
.........................Zebra Goes To Heaven (S562c)
.........................Horserace Riddle (S280)
.........................Short Horse Jokes
..............................A Man, A Woman, And The Accident - PPS (S664b)
..............................Seeing-Eye Horse (S646b)
..............................Cute Ass (S642)
..............................Horse Gets Head Stuck In Tree (S625b)
..............................Meet Molly (S613)
..............................Man Checks Horses Before Buying (S319, S781)
..............................The Mule And The Lion (S516b)
..............................Going For A Ride With Your Horse (S479c)
Also see BARANIMALS - 'Bar
With Horse'
......................-
'A
Horse Goes Into A Bar Needing A Tie'
BIRD-CHICKEN - 'City
Boy Buys Two Chickens And A Mule'
BROTHERS - 'Two
Brothers At Christmas'
CHRISTMAS1 - 'Kid
Gets Bike For Christmas'
COWBOY file - 'Cowboy
In A Bar Has His Horse Stolen'
......................-
'Cowboy
And His Horse'
......................-
'Cowboy
Kisses Horses Ass'
DRINKING_BR2 - 'Bud Lite
Sleighride'
Elderly1-Supp- 'How To Handle
A Husband'
FARMER1 file - 'Farmer's
Mule Kills Mother-In-Law'
......................-
'Farmer
And Truck Driver Have An Accident'
FARMER2 file - 'Settling
The Will Of A Missouri Farmer'
......................-
'Farmer's
Horse Won't Breed'
GOD2 file - 'God
Created Donkeys, Dogs, Monkeys, And Men'
GOLF3 file - 'A
Series Of Unfortunate Events'
.........ILLUSIONS19
- 'Frog To Horse Illusion'
INDIAN file - 'Indian
Gives Lady A Horseback Ride'
JOB1 file - 'Beating
A Dead Horse'
OTHER_ANIMALS- 'Taking
Little Johnny To The Other Zoo'
......................-
'Best
Friends'
MARRIAGE2 - 'Husband
Claimed He Was At The Race Track'
MUSIC-SUPP - 'Horses
Singing Four Part Harmony'
OTHER_ANIMALS- 'Animals
Rescue People'
POETRY file - 'Reincarnation,
By Wallace McRae'
POLIT-BUSH - 'Bush
Meets The Queen'
PREACHER file- 'Minister
Gives A Talk About Sex'
PREACHER-SUPP- 'Preaching
About Horseback Riding'
PRIEST1 file - 'Priest
And The Donkey Race'
RIDDLE-SUPP2 - 'A Dangerous
Ride'
SCHOOL1 file - 'Students
Go To The Race Track'
SHIT file - 'Two
Airplane Passengers Talk'
THGIVING SUPP- 'Donkey
Vs Turkey'
THO-LEARNED1 - 'A Thought
On Happiness'
============================================================Top
| Subj:
Five Funny Horse Race Videos (S801d)
From: SuperBooyah.com and AFine963 Photo from
SuperBooyah.com...
|
 |
.........The-10-Funniest-Horse-Race-Announcer-Calls-Of-All-Time.html
Being a horse racing announcer
is one of the toughest announcing
jobs in all of sports.
You have to talk really fast, yell really
loud and the sad thing is that
the only people who are listening
to you are a bunch of bookies
and degenerate gamblers.
Click on the above source, or
'HERE'
for my copy, to see five
very funny racing videos.
The two locations have slightly
different videos.
\\\//
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Subj: Horseback
Riding Accident (S45, S807)
From: humorlist-digest V1 #271 on 97-12-08
and
From: AFine963 on 6/25/2012
A blonde decided to try horseback
riding, even though she
has had no lessons or prior
experience. She mounts the
horse unassisted and the horse
immediately springs into
motion. It gallops along
at a steady and rhythmic pace,
but the blonde begins to slip
from the saddle.
In terror, she grabs for the
horse's mane, but cannot seem
to get a firm grip. She
tries to throw her arms around the
horse's neck, but she slides
down the side of the horse
anyway. The horse gallops
along, seemingly impervious to
its slipping rider.
Finally, giving up her frail
grip, she leaps away from the
horse to try and throw herself
to safety. Unfortunately,
her foot has become entangled
in the stirrup and she is
now at the mercy of the horse's
pounding hooves as her
head is struck against the ground
again and again and
again. As her head is
battered against the ground, she is
mere moments away from unconsciousness
when to her great
fortune............
Frank, the Wal-Mart greeter,
sees her dilemma and unplugs
the horse. And you thought
all they did was say "Hello"
and give you a cart.
\\\//
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 |
Subj:
The Royal Friesian Horse (S821d)
From: tom on 10/4/2012 Photo from YouTube.com |
Source2: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friesian_horse
The Friesian is most often recognized
by its black coat
color. They have a long,
thick mane and tail, often wavy,
and "feathers"-long, silky hair
on the lower legs,
deliberately left untrimmed.
The breed is known for a
brisk, high-stepping trot.
The Friesian is considered a
willing, active, and energetic
horse that is also gentle
and docile. They tends
to have great presence and to
carry itself with elegance.
The Friesian is a horse
breed originating in Friesland,
Netherlands.
Click on the top source, or 'HERE'
for my copy, to see
these awesome creatures who
have such amazing grace and
beauty!!!
\\\//
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Subj: Horse
Race At Tydall Beach
From: Daemonic Funnies Page
(Also see 'Dirty
Horse Race Announced' video in Horse Race Videos)
Horses in race are:
1. Passionate Lad
6. Clean Sheets
2. Bare Belly
7. Thighs
3. Silk Panties
8. Big Dick
4. Conscience
9. Heavy Bosum
5. Jockey Shorts
10. Merry Cherry
At the Post
They're off! Conscience
is left behind at the post. Jockey
Shorts and Silk Panties are
off in a hurry. Heavy Bosum is
being pressured. Passionate
lady is caught between Thighs
and Big Dick is in a very dangerous
spot.
At the Halfway Mark
It's Bare Belly on top. Thighs
open and Big Dick is pressed
in. Heavy Bosum is being
pushed hard against Clean Sheets.
Passionate Lady and Thighs are
working hard on Bare Belly.
Bare Belly is under terrific
pressure from Big Dick.
At The Stretch
Merry Cherry cracks under the
strain. Big Dick is making
a final drive. Bare Belly
is in and Passionate Lady is
coming.
At The Finish
Its Big Dick giving everything
he's got and Passionate Lady
takes everything Big Dick has
to offer. It looks like a
dead heat but Big Dick comes
through with one final squirt
and wins by a head. Bare Belly
shows. Heavy Bosum weakens
and Thighs pull up Clean Sheets
never had a chance...
\\\//
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| Subj:
A Donkey With Two Riders (S815)
From: Caroline Newton on 8/23/2012 Source: Facebook photos |
 |
When I saw this four frame cartoon,
I thought of the article
in today's paper where Seagate
is buying the 412,000 square-
foot Solyndra building.
The company has not announced what
it will do with the new building
so that critics have less
things to complain about.
They said "If and when the purchase
is completed, we will provide
our plans for use of the building."
Click on the above source, or
'HERE'
for my copy, to see this
all too real cartoon.
\\\//
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Subj: Old
Man, A Boy And A Donkey (S140, S557b)
From: RFSlick on 10/07/1999
and
From: ginafm on 9/18/2007
There was an old man, a boy and
a donkey. They were going to
town and it was decided that
the boy should ride. As they
went along they passed some
people who thought that it was a
shame for the boy to ride and
the old man to walk. The man
and boy decided that maybe the
critics were right so they
changed positions.
Later, they passed some more
people who thought that it was a
real shame for that man to make
such a small boy walk. The
two decided that maybe they
both should walk.
Soon they passed some more people
who thought that it was
stupid to walk when they had
a donkey to ride. The man and
the boy decided maybe the critics
were right so they decided
that they both should ride.
They soon passed other people
who thought that it was a shame
to put such a load on a poor
little animal. The old man and
the boy decided that maybe the
critics were right so they
decided to carry the donkey.
As they crossed a bridge they
lost their grip on the animal
and he fell into the river and
drowned.
The moral of the story?
If you try to please everyone,
you might as well kiss your
ass good-bye!
\\\//
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 |
Subj:
Lorenzo, The Flying French Man (S619d)
From: darrellvip on 11/3/2008 Source: http://canecorso.com/lorenzo.htm |
Lorenzo, called "The Flying Frenchman"
jumps incredible
obstacles at a galop while standing
on his 8 grey Lusitano
horses. I can't explain
why watching this movie is such
a moving experience, but it
is. You can view it at the
above source, or on my web site
by clicking 'HERE'.
\\\//
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Subj: Farmer
Ties Bedsheet On Horse (DU)
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #242 on 98-04-28
A farmer buys a cute little filly
that he plans to race next
season. When he gets her
home his old stallion spots her
and starts kicking up dust and
raising all sorts of hell.
The farmer doesn't want her knocked
up because he won't be
able to race her, so he calls
the vet for advice.
The vet tells him to tie a bedsheet
around the horse's rump
to keep the stallion away.
The next day the farmer goes
out to the corral to make sure
the vet's solution worked, but
the filly's nowhere to be
found. The farmer follows
her hoof trail to the neighbor's
farm, and sees the neighbor's
kid out by the barn.
"Hey boy, did you see a filly
run by with a bedsheet tied
around her rump?" the farmer
asks.
The kid replies, "No sir, but
I saw one dash by with a
handkerchief sticking out of
her ass!"
\\\//
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| Subj:
The Sketch Show - Irish Jockey (S774d)
From: Dave Ribeiro on Facebook on 11/10/11 Photos
from YouTube.com...
|
 |
Source2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7v7Z22jGNSo
.
 |
This first video is from
The Sketch Show aired
on WN Network on British TV from 10th September 2001 to 24th April 2004. The skit was titled |
Ronni Ancona. Click on the first source, or 'HERE'
for my copy, to see this very funny sketch.
.
 |
The second video is from
Kelsey Grammer Presents
The Sketch Show aired on Fox in the US. The skit stared Lee Mack and Kaitlin Olson. Click on the |
shown on Fox. The British version seemed funnier to me.
\\\//
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Subj: Cajun
Buys Dead Donkey (S264c, S749)
From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 2/13/2002
and
From: thebartend on 5/3/2006
A Cajun named Jean Paul moved
to Texas and bought a donkey
from an old farmer for $100.00.
The farmer agreed to
deliver the donkey the next
day.
The next day the farmer drove
up and said, "Sorry, but I
got some bad news. The
donkey died."
"Well then, just give me my money back."
"Cain't do that. I went and spent it already."
"OK then, just unload the donkey."
"What ya gonna do with em."
"I'm gonna raffle him off."
"Ya cain't raffle off a dead donkey!"
"Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anyone he's dead."
A month later the farmer met
up with the Cajun and asked,
"What happened with the dead
donkey?"
"I raffled him off. I sold 500
tickets at $2.00 apiece and
made a profit of $898.00."
"Didn't no one complain?"
"Just the guy who won. So I gave him his $2.00 back."
\\\//
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Subj: Catholic
Horses (S581)
From: AFine963 on 3/7/2008
One day while he was at the track
playing the ponies and all
but losing his shirt, Mitch
noticed a priest who stepped out
onto the track and blessed the
forehead of one of the horses
lining up for the 4th race.
Lo and behold, that horse - a
very long shot - won the race.
Before the next race, as the
horses began lining up, Mitch
watched with interest the old
priest step onto the track.
Sure enough, as the 5th race
horses came to the starting
gate the priest made a blessing
on the forehead of one of
the horses.
Mitch made a beeline for a betting
window and placed a small
bet on the horse. Again,
even though it was another long
shot, the horse the priest had
blessed won the race.
Mitch collected his winnings,
and anxiously waited to see
which horse the priest would
bless for the 6th race. The
priest again blessed a horse.
Mitch bet big on it, and it won.
Mitch was elated. As the
races continued the priest kept
blessing long shot horses,
and each one ended up coming
in first.
Bye and bye, Mitch was pulling
in some serious money. By
the last race, he knew his wildest
dreams were going to come
true. He made a quick
dash to the ATM, withdrew all his
savings, and awaited the priest's
blessing that would tell
him which horse to bet on.
True to his pattern, the priest
stepped onto the track for
the last race and blessed the
forehead of an old nag that
was the longest shot of the
day. Mitch also observed the
priest blessing the eyes, ears,
and hooves of the old nag.
Mitch knew he had a winner and
bet every cent he owned on
the old nag. He then watched
dumbfounded as the old nag
come in dead last. Mitch,
in a state of shock, made his
way down to the track area where
the priest was.
Confronting the old priest he
demanded, "Father! What
happened? All day long
you blessed horses and they all
won. Then in the last
race, the horse you blessed lost
by a Kentucky mile. Now,
thanks to you I've lost every
cent of my savings - all of
it!".
The priest nodded wisely and
with sympathy. "Son", he said,
"that's the problem with you
Protestants, you can't tell the
difference between a simple
blessing and last rites".
\\\//
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 |
Subj:
How To Tell If Your Ass Is Too Small (S526c,d)
From: darrell94590 on 2/20/2007 |
You can view this cute, 400 KB
movie on my web site by
clicking 'HERE'.
\\\//
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Subj: Riding
Blue Steel (S378b)
From: LABLaughs.com on 2/27/2004
A city slicker named Tommy was
on vacation in Texas. His
hosts, being very hospitable,
invited him to the local rodeo
especially to see the greatest
bucking bronco of all time,
Blue Steel.
Blue Steel was famed and renowned
throughout the West for
being the toughest meanest horse
there ever was. He had
sent off so many would-be riders
that the rodeo organizers
had promised $10,000 for anyone
who could ride him just for
10 seconds.
That afternoon, all the local
Cowboys tried their best but
Blue Steel lived up to his reputation
and threw them all
off with the greatest of ease.
As a joke the organizers then
offered the prize to anyone
in the crowd who would dare
to tangle with such a beast.
Up jumped Tommy and of course
everyone laughed at him. But
the organizers decided to let
the city boy have a try.
Blue Steel bucked and lunged
but Tommy not only stayed on
the horse for 10 seconds but
he stayed on for 20 seconds,
then 30, then a minute!
A few minutes more and Blue Steel
was so exhausted he calmed down
and Tommy rode him all
around the ring like a birthday
party pony.
Everyone was astonished.
"Considering you've never even
sat on a horse before," said
Tommy's friends "how on earth
did you manage that?"
"Easy," said Tommy "my wife's an epileptic."...
\\\//
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Subj: Farmer's
Donkey Stuck In A Well (S275b, S521b)
From: gheckman on 12/10/2001
and
From: darrellvip on 12/1/2008
(Also see the movie 'The
Donkey In A Well II' below)
One day a farmer's donkey fell
down into a well. The
animal cried piteously for hours
as the farmer tried to
figure out what to do.
Finally he decided the animal was
old and the well needed to be
covered up anyway, it just
wasn't worth it to retrieve
the donkey. He invited all
his neighbors to come over and
help him.
They all grabbed a shovel and
began to shovel dirt into
the well. At first, the
donkey realized what was happening
and cried horribly. Then,
to everyone's amazement, he
quieted down. A few shovel
loads later, the farmer finally
looked down the well and was
astonished at what he saw.
With every shovel of dirt that
hit his back, the donkey was
doing something amazing.
He would shake it off and take a
step up. As the farmer's
neighbors continued to shovel
dirt on top of the animal, he
would shake it off and take
a step up. Pretty soon,
everyone was amazed as the donkey
stepped up over the edge of
the well and trotted off!
Life is going to shovel dirt
on you, all kinds of dirt.
The trick to getting out of
the well is to shake it off
and take a step up. Each
of our troubles is a stepping
stone. We can get out
of the deepest wells just by not
stopping, never giving up! Shake
it off and take a step up!
Remember the five simple rules
to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.
O.K., that's enough of that BS
... The donkey later came
back, caught the farmer out
in the field and kicked the
shit out of him. Then
he went over to each of his neighbors
farms and kicked the shit out
of them too for helping.
The REAL Moral:
When you try to cover your ass, it always comes back to get you.
\\\//
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| Subj:
The Donkey In A Well II - Movie (S413d)
From: janeenmarie on 12/21/2004 |
 |
The silly, old SWF Movie, "Farmer
And The Donkey", can be
seen on my on my site by clicking
'HERE'.
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Subj: Chicken
And Horse Get Stuck (S168, S528c)
From: mbucher on 4/16/00
and
From: Imogenelumen on 7/13/2003
(Also see 'An
Elephant, A Chicken And A Porsche' in ELEPHANTS)
Once upon a time there were a
horse and a chicken who were good
friends. They lived on
a ranch with lots of other animals and
were very happy. One day, while
they were playing near a pond,
the horse stepped into a hole
of quicksand. The horse rapidly
sank and was yelling for his
friend, the chicken, to save him.
The chicken thought for a minute,
then ran away. The chicken
ran back to the ranchouse, and
jumped into the rancher's BMW.
Luckily, the keys were in the
ignition, and the chicken managed
to start the car, and put it
in gear.
It raced over to the sinkhole,
where the horse had almost
disappeared by now. The
smart chicken tied a rope around the
back of the BMW and threw the
other end around the front legs of
the horse. The chicken
hopped back in the driver's seat and
stepped on the gas. Ever so
slowly, the horse eased out of the
quicksand and jumped to safety.
The horse, still on shaky legs,
stuttered: "You just saved my
life. Thank you!"
The chicken just said, " don't
mention it - That's what friends
are for!!"
A few days later, the horse got
up from a good night's rest, and
heard some muffled cries for
help coming from the backyard. The
horse followed the sounds and
came upon a terrible scene: There
was his best friend, the chicken,
stuck in a hole of quicksand!
The sand was already up to its
neck-feathers and the cries for
help had almost stopped.
The horse took a quick look around:
No rope in sight. And the
rancher had gone to town with
his BMW. What to do?
The horse took a deep breath
and spread his body and legs out
over the hole. His member
was dangling down right above the
poor chicken. "Here, my
friend, grab my thingie and I will pull
you to safety!"
With its last bit of energy,
the chicken grabbed a hold of the
big horse-thingy and the horse
straightened its body, pulling
the chicken from its trap.
With one big step, both were on solid
ground and safe.
The chicken slumped down on the
ground, exhausted: "Now You saved
my life, my friend!!"
The horse just smiled.
And what is the moral of this story?........
If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks.
\\\//
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Subj: Midget
With Lisp Buys A Horse (S418)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 1/29/2005
A guy calls his buddy, a horse
rancher, and says he's sending
a friend over to look at a horse.
The buddy says, "How will I recognize him?"
"That's easy," says the guy,
"he's a midget with a speech
impediment."
So, the midget shows up, and
the guy asks him if he's looking
for a male or female horse.
"A female horth," says the midget.
So he shows him a prized filly.
"Nith lookin horth. Can
I thee her eyeth?" asks the midget.
So the guy picks up the midget
and he gives the horse's eyes
the once over.
"Nith eyeth," notes the midget.
"Can I thee her earzth"?
So he picks the little fella
up again, and shows him the
horse's ears.
"Nith earzth," comments the midget.
"Can I see her mouf"?
The rancher is getting pretty
annoyed by this point, but
he picks him up again and shows
him the horse's mouth.
"Nice mouf," states the midget.
"Can I see her twat?"
Totally fed up at this point,
the rancher grabs him under
his arm and jams the midget's
head as far as he can up the
horse's you-know-what, pulls
him out and slams him on the
ground.
The midget gets up, sputtering
and coughing. "Perhapth I
should rephrathe that?" says
the midget. "Can I thee her wun
awound a widdle bit?"
\\\//
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 |
Subj:
Patches The Horse - Movie (S418b,d)
From: mebharkins on 1/30/2005 |
This is a wonderful movie about
an amazing horse named
Patches. Click on the
above source, or 'HERE' for my
copy, to see this great, old
video.
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Subj: Father
O'Malley And A Dead Jackass (S392, S798)
From: JokesUncut on 7/29/2004
and
From: virv on 4/24/2012
(Also see 'Pastor Finds Dead
Mule' below)
An Irish priest was transferred to Texas.
Father O'Malley rose from his
bed one morning. It was a
fine spring day in his new Texas
mission parish. He walked
to the window of his bedroom
to get a deep breath of the
beautiful day outside.
Noticing there was a jackass lying
dead in the middle of his front
lawn, he promptly called
the local police station......
The conversation went like this:
"Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?"
"And the best of the day te yerself.
This is Father O'Malley
at St. Ann's Catholic Church.
There's a jackass lying dead
in me front lawn."
Sergeant Jones, considering himself
to be quite a wit,
replied with a smirk, "Well
now Father, it was always my
impression that you people took
care of the last rites!"
There was dead silence on the
line for a moment, then
Father O'Malley then replied,
"Aye, 'tis certainly true,
but we are also obliged to notify
the next of kin."
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Subj: Pastor
Finds Dead Mule (S192, S496)
From: mbucher on 9/30/00
and
From: DoctorDebt on 7/16/2006
(Also see 'Father O'Malley
And A Dead Jackass' above)
A pastor went to his church office
Monday morning and
discovered a dead mule in the
church yard. He called the police.
Because there did not appear
to be any foul play, the police
referred the pastor to the Health
Department.
The Health Department said that
since there was no health threat
he should call the Animal Control
Department. The supervisor of
the Animal Control Department
said that since the mule was dead
he should call the Sanitation
Department. The Sanitation
Department manager said he could
not pick up the mule without
authorization from the mayor.
Now the pastor knew the mayor
and was not too eager to call
him. The mayor had a bad temper
and was generally hard to deal
with, but since it was the last
resort, the pastor called him
anyway.
The mayor did not disappoint
him. He immediately began to rant
and rave at the pastor and finally
said, "Why did you call me
anyway? Isn't it your job to
bury the dead?"
The pastor paused for a brief
minute and asked the Lord to
direct his response. Then, he
replied, "Yes Mayor, it is my job
to bury the dead, but I always
like to notify the next of kin
first."
\\\//
-(o o)-
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(S638b)
by John Graziano From: Comics.com on 3/26/2009 |
 |
.
| Click on the button below
for the answer. ...... |
.
\\\//
-(o o)-
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Subj: A Friend Gives You A Horse (S140)
From: RFSlick on 10/05/1999
The Beginning Of The End....
A friend gives you a horse...
You build a small shelter...$750
You fence in a paddock...$450
Purchase small truck to haul hay...$12,000
Purchase a 2 horse trailer...$2,800
Purchase 2nd horse...$2,500
Build larger shelter with storage...$2,000
More fencing...$1,200
Purchase 3rd horse...$3,000
Purchase 4 horse trailer...$7,500
Purchase larger truck...$18,000
Purchase 4 acres next door...$28,000
More fencing...$2,000
Build small barn...$16,000
Purchase camper for truck...$9,000
Purchase tractor...$12,000
Purchase 4th ? 5th horse...$6,500
Purchase 20 acres...$185,000
Build house...$135,000
Build barn...$36,000
More fencing ? corrals...$24,000
Build covered arena...$82,000
Purchase ?Dually?...$34,000
Purchase gooseneck w/living quarters...$32,000
Purchase 6th, 7th ? 8th horse...$10,750
Hire full time trainer...$40,000
Build house for trainer...$84,000
Buy motor home for shows...$125,000
Hire attorney ? wife leaving you for trainer...$5,000
Declare bankruptcy, wife got everything.
Friend feels sorry for you...gives you a horse.....
\\\//
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Subj: Zebra
Goes To Heaven (S562c)
From: humorlist-digest V2 #34 on 98-02-04
and
From: ginafm on 10/29/2007
The Zebra died and went to heaven.
At the Gate he asked St.
Peter if he was a white zebra
with black stripes or a black
zebra with white stripes.
St. Peter told him, "You are what
you are."
Well that didn't tell him anything
so St. Peter told him to
ask God when he saw him.
So when he saw God he asked him
was he a white zebra with black
stripes or a black zebra
with white stripes and God told
him, "You are what you are."
The next time he saw St. Peter,
St Peter asked him what God
had said and he told him God
had said, "You are what you are."
So St. Peter said, "Well, you're
a white zebra with black
stripes.
The zebra asked, "How do you
figure that?" and St. Peter said,
" If you had been a black zebra
with white stripes God would
have said, "You is what you
is."
\\\//
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========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================Top
Subj: Horserace
Riddle (S280)
From: LABLaughs.com on 6/18/2002
The old king is dying, and wants
to leave his kingdom to
the wiser of his two sons.
He tells them that he will
hold a horserace, and the son
whose horse is the last to
reach the church and come back
will inherit the realm.
Immediately the younger son
jumps on a horse and makes
for the church at top speed.
The king now knows that
this is the wiser son, and leaves
him the kingdom. Why?
x
x
x
x
x
Scroll down for the answer
x
x
x
x
x
Here it comes
x
x
x
x
x
ANSWER
The younger son jumped on the
older son's horse. He
realized that if they rode their
own horses the race
would never end.
\\\//
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Subj: Short
Horse Jokes
 |
Subj:
A Man, A Woman, And The Accident (S664b in Cars-Supp2)
From: darrellvip on 9/30/2009. Drawing from FotoSearch.com |
woman, and an auto accident. Click 'HERE' to view it.
| Subj:
Seeing-Eye Horse (S646b)
by Helena Sung From: RDobry on 5/31/2009 |
 |
.........animals-pets-helping-people
Click on the above source, or 'HERE' for my file copy,
to read this short, interesting article.
 |
Subj:
Cute Ass (S642)
From: rfslick on 5/1/2009 |
This is, without a doubt, the
cutest ass you will ever see.
Click 'HERE'
to see it.
| Subj:
Horse Gets Head Stuck In Tree (S625b)
By Chris Irvine From: Telegraph.co.uk on 12/31/2008 |
 |
Photo: Wenn |
........./3229053/Horse-gets-head-stuck-in-tree.html
A horse had to be cut free with a chainsaw after it managed
to get its head stuck in a tree. You can read this cute
story with pictures at the above source, or on my web site
by clicking 'HERE'.
 |
Subj:
Meet Molly (S613)
From: darrellvip on 10/6/2008 |
Source2: http://www.hoofcare.com/mollythepony.html
After Hurricane Katrina struck the Gulf Coast in August
2005, Molly was found wandering in a pasture in St.
Charles Parish, Louisiana. Click 'HERE' to read this
wonderful true story of this amazing, intelligent horse.
Top
Subj: Man
Checks Horses Before Buying (S319, S781)
From: RFSlick on 3/8/2003
and
From: virv on 11/4/2011
Little Johnny attended a horse
auction with his father.
He watched as his father moved
from horse to horse,
running his hands up and down
the horse's legs, rump,
and chest.
After a few minutes, Johnny asked,
"Dad, why are you
doing that?"
His father replied, "Because
I'm buying horses. I have
to make sure that they are healthy
and in good shape
before I buy."
Johnny looked worried, "Then
I think we'd better hurry
home right away."
"Why?" said his father.
"Because the UPS man stopped
by yesterday, I think he
wants to buy Mom."
| Subj:
The Mule And The Lion (S516b)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 12/4/2006 |
 |
eye opening. You can read it and see the four pictures on
my web site by clicking 'HERE'.
 |
Subj:
Going For A Ride With Your Horse (S479c)
From: LABLaughsRiddles on 3/24/2006 |
To view this cute picture, either go to the source above, or
my web site by clicking 'HERE'.
The United States has never lost
a war in which mules
were used.
From: auntieg on 98-11-14
If a statue in the park of a
person on a horse has both
front legs in the air, the person
died in battle; if the
horse has one front leg in the
air, the person died as a
result of wounds received in
battle; if the horse has all
four legs on the ground, the
person died of natural
causes.
From: TAdams on 3/21/2001 (S216)
"An optimist is someone who,
when he finds a pile of manure
under the Christmas tree, exclaims,
"I'm getting a pony!"
-- Ronald Reagan
From: KMACINTY on 8/13/2002 (S289b)
Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator:
This is really a lovely horse,
I once rode her mother."
From: LABLaughs.com on 2/27/2003 (S317b)
You cannot train a horse with
shouts
and expect it to obey a whisper.
From: igiggle on 5/19/2003 (S329b)
More people are killed by donkeys
every year
than are killed in plane crashes.
From: igiggle on 1/2/2004 (S365b)
No matter when a race horse
is born, they all
"become" a year older on New
Year's Day.
From: Anonymous Jr. on 11/24/2009
(S672b)
You know horses are smarter
than people. You never
heard of a horse going broke
betting on people.
-- Will Rogers (1879-1935)
From: CatScratch on 3/7/2002 (S267c)
Q: What do you call an Amish
guy with his hand
up a horse's ass?
A: A mechanic!
From: A fellow wood carver on 12/29/04
(S414b)
Q: How do you make an Appaloosa?
A: Yu shaka da tree.
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================
.
...........................
.Smiley
on horseback from Smiley_Central.
.
.
.