Subj:     Pig Jokes
                 (Includes 24 jokes and articles, 04990,9,cf,wXT23,4)

Pigs On A Wing from
Animation Factory
Includes the following:  Ormie The Pig - Animation (HD) (S901)
.........................Three Legged Pig Saves Farmer (S129b, S529b)
.........................City Slicker Buys A Pig (S285, S592c)
.........................Find The Four-Leaf Clover - Drawing (S991)
.........................Pig Goes Into A Bar (S359b, DU)
.........................Personality Test (S70, S705)
.........................Squeaky The Ranch Hand - Video (S619)
.........................Three Couples At A Cafe (S65, DU)
.........................Blind Dog Meets Blind Pig (DU)
.........................Herman Cartoon On Ham Operators (S598c)
.........................Going To Jail Over Pig Toys (S313b)
.........................Short Pig Jokes
..............................Swine Flu In Canned Pork (S653)
..............................How You Catch Swine Flu (S639b)
..............................The Pink Dachshund (S581b)
..............................A Wild Hog From Florida (S536c)
..............................Tiglets (S499b)

Also see COWBOY file  - 'Cowboy And Barnyard Pig'
         FAIRY TALES  - 'Telling Fairy Tales To Your Kids'
         FARMER1 file - 'Pig Fucking'
......................- 'Farmer Tries To Insemenate Pigs'
         FARMER2 file - 'Farmer Not Raising Hogs'
         FOOD_ETC     - 'Eat Bacon' - Sign
         ITALIAN file - 'Paolo The Carpenter'
         JUDGE file   - 'Man Sued For 'Pig' Statement'
         MARRIAGE6    - 'Marriage Vs Free Milk'
         MEXICAN file - 'Two American Pigs And A Mexican'
         MUSIC file   - 'Britney Spears Scares Wild Boars'
         OTHER_ANIMALS- 'Animals Rescue People'
         PSYCH-SUPP   - 'Draw-A-Pig Personality Test'
         POLITICAL-SUP- 'How To Catch Wild Pigs'
         POLIT-CLINTON- 'Clinton's Driver Runs Over A Pig'
......................- 'Bill Brings Back Two Pigs'
Subj:     Ormie The Pig - Animation (HD) (S901d)
          Created by Rob Silvestri
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/CxmbmcDrXRk
.......Ormie wants the cookies. But the cookies on top of
.......of the fridge.  When Ormie tries to get them down,
.......it becomes absolutely funny, and cute. Click 'HERE'
.......to see this funny animation.

Subj:     Three Legged Pig Saves Farmer (S129b, S529b)
          From: smiles on 6/7/99

 Farmer Jones got out of his car and while heading for his
 friend's door, noticed a pig with a wooden leg.  His
 curiosity roused, he ask, "Fred, how'd that pig get him
 a wooden leg?"

 "Well Michael, that's a mighty special pig! A while back a
 wild boar attacked me while I was walking in the woods.
 That pig there came a runnin', went after that boar and
 chased him away.  Saved my life!"

 "And the boar tore up his leg?"

 "No he was fine after that.  But a bit later we
 had that fire. Started in the shed up against the barn.
 Well, that ole pig started squealin' like he was stuck,
 woke us up, and 'fore we got out here, the darn thing had
 herded the other animals out of the barn and saved 'em all!"

 "So that's when he hurt his leg, huh, Fred?"

 "No, Michael. He was a might winded, though.  When my
 tractor hit a rock and rolled down the hill into the pond
 I was knocked clean out.  When I came to, that pig had dove
 into the pond and dragged me out 'fore I drownded.  Sure did
 save my life."

 "And that was when he hurt his leg?"

 "Oh no, he was fine.  Cleaned him up, too."

 "OK, Fred. So just tell me.  How did he get the wooden leg?"

 "Well", the farmer tells him, "A pig like that, you don't
 want to eat all at once."

Subj:     City Slicker Buys A Pig (S285, S592c)
          From: thebartend on 7/19/2002

 A city slicker decided to buy himself a pig, so he drove to
 the country until he saw a sign that said "PIGS FOR SALE".

 Turning into the driveway, he spotted the farmer, told him
 what he wanted, and they agreed on a price. They went to
 the barn where the farmer picked up a pig by the tail with
 his teeth. "Yup, that there swine weighs 74 pounds."

 Noting the man's bewilderment, the farmer explained that
 it was a family trait, passed on through generations, to
 be able to precisely weigh pigs in that manner.  The city
 slicker, however, insisted on a second opinion.  So the
 farmer called his son over and the boy came up with the
 same result.

 The man was ready to buy the pig on the spot, but the
 farmer said to go on up to the house and pay his wife.
 The man could then bring the receipt back to the farmer
 and take the pig.

 After a long wait, the city slicker finally returned, but
 without a receipt. "What's the problem, son?" asked the

 "I went up there like you said," said the man, "And your
 wife was too busy."

 "Busy doing what?"

 "Well, don't quote me on this," he warned, "But I think
 she was weighing the milkman."

Subj:     Find The Four-Leaf Clover (S991)
          Created by Gergely Dudas
 Source: https://www.facebook.com/thedudolf/photos/a.479677258800858
 (See 'Find A Cat Among Owls' in Cats1
  and 'Find A Panda Among Snowmen' in Christmas1
  and 'Can You Solve It?' - Puzzle in Math4) 
Subj:     Pig Goes Into A Bar (S359b, DU)
          From: humorsearch.com on 4/6/99

 One day a pig walks into a bar and says to the bar tender
 "give me a beer".  So the bar tender does, the pig drinks
 it, and then he goes to the washroom, and goes home.

 Next day a pig walks into the bar and says to the bar tender
 "give me a beer".  So the bar tender does, the pig drinks it,
 and then he goes to the washroom and goes home.

 Third day in a row a pig walks into the bar and tells the
 bar tender to "give him a beer".  So the bar tender does,
 the pig drinks it, and then goes to the washroom, and goes

 Fourth day in a row a pig walks into the bar and tells the
 bar tender "give me a beer".  So the bar tender gives him a
 beer, the pig drinks it, goes to the washroom, and goes home.

 Fifth day in a row, a pig walks into the bar and tells the
 bar tender "give me a beer".  So by now the bar tender is
 pretty used to these pigs coming to the bar, so he gives him
 a drink.  The pig drinks it, and get's ready to go home.
 The bar tender is puzzled why it isn't using the washroom so
 he says "Aren't you going to use the washroom before you go

 The pig looks at him and says..."nah, the fifth little pig
 goes wee wee wee all the way home."

Subj:     Personality Test (S70, S705)
          From: RFSlick on 98-05-30


 On a blank piece of paper draw a pig.  Then scroll down and
 read the interpretation of your pig!!  Draw your pig first!
 And don't look at the next part until you are done!

 It won't be fun if you look first!!!

 ***** > > > YOU'RE NOT CHEATING, ARE YOU ?????


 The pig serves as a useful test of the personality traits
 of the drawer.


 If the pig is drawn:

 Toward the top of the paper, you are positive and optimistic.
 Toward the middle, you are a realist.
 Toward the bottom, you are pessimistic, and have a tendency
 to behave negatively.

 Facing left, you believe in tradition, are friendly, and
 remember dates  (birthdays, etc.)

 Facing right, you are innovative and active, but don't have
 a strong sense of family, nor do you remember dates.

 Facing front (looking at you), you are direct, enjoy playing
 devil's advocate and neither fear nor avoid discussions.

 With many details, you are analytical, cautious, and distrustful.

 With few details, you are emotional and naive, you care
 little for details and are a risk-taker.

 With less than 4 legs showing, you may be living
 through a period of major change.

 With 4 legs showing, you are secure, stubborn, and
 stick to your ideals.

 The size of the ears indicates how good a listener you are.
 The bigger the better.

 The length of the tail indicates the quality of your
 sex life!!!!  (And again more is better!)

 OK, who didn't draw a tail???

Subj:     Squeaky The Ranch Hand (S619d)
          From: darrellvip on 11/17/2008
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/mc0fY3BstdU

 Click 'HERE' to see this video about a wild boar who
 helps herd cattle and protect his rancher.

Subj:     Three Couples At A Cafe (S65, DU)
          From: thebartend on 98-04-22

 One day three couples in a minivan are heading to Yellowstone
 National Park on a vacation. One couple is from Nebraska, one
 is from Kansas, and one is from Iowa.  They stop at a little
 cafe on the side of the road for breakfast.

 Their waitress serves them their food, and the husband from
 Nebraska says, "could you pass the honey honey?"  To whom
 his wife, hands over the honey.

 Then, the husband from Kansas says " Could you pass the
 sugar sugar?" and she passes him the sugar.

 The Iowan husband sits there for a minute, then looks at his
 wife and says "Wanna pass me the bacon, pig.

Subj:     Blind Dog Meets Blind Pig (DU)

 A blind pig met a blind dog, neither of which knew what
 they were themselves.  After a bit of discussion  the Dog
 says to the Pig "Why don't we figure out what each other
 is and solve the problem that way".  "Fair enough", says
 the Pig, "I'll go first".

 So the Pig starts to sniff the Dog. " Well, you have a wet
 nose on a fairly long snout, two pointy ears, four legs,
 hair all over and a big bushy tail, do you know, I think
 you're a dog!".

 "Well that's brilliant" says the Dog, "that's just what I
 always wanted to be. Now let me have a sniff of you."

 "Well you have a short flat nose, a squiggly little tail,
 short little legs, little beady eyes, very little hair and
 a big fat belly on you, I think you're...

 Rush Limbaugh!

Subj:     Herman Cartoon On Ham Operators (S598c)
          By Jim Unger on 6/28/2008
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/herman/2008/06/28
Subj:     Going To Jail Over Pig Toys (S313b)
          From: jerry on 1/29/2003

 Beginning in April, any pig farmer in Europe found to have
 bored pigs will face three months in prison and a $1,500
 fine.  By law, farmers must put toys inside every sty and
 change the toys when the pigs become bored with any of them.
 The animals are entitled to balls, squeaky dolls and other

 One farmer has already given his 1,200 pigs a plastic plane
 and a furry teddy bear.

 Says one farmer, "The day of the toy inspector has arrived
 and it is not a TV spoof.  It is the dictators of Europe
 who have thought this up."

 The purpose of the rule is to stop pigs from wanting to
 bite each other, presumably because they have nothing
 better to do.

 UK Sun 28-Jan-03

Subj     Short Pig Jokes

Subj:     How You Catch Swine Flu (S639b)
          From: gattica30 on 5/1/2009
  Click 'HERE' to see this very cute picture.
Subj:     Swine Flu In Canned Pork (S653)
          From: samhutkins on 7/10/2009
If you receive an email from the
Department of Health telling you
not to eat pork packed in a can
because of swine flu - ignore it.
It's just "spam".

Subj:     The Pink Dachshund (S581b)
          From: rfslick on 3/4/2008 (in Dogs-Supp)
 The mama is a Dachshund.  She is fostering this guy for
 another mom who couldn't take care of him.  You can view
 these eight, cute pictures by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     A Wild Hog From Florida (S536c)
          From: darrell94590 on 4/23/2007
 These two pictures show a wild hog killed in Florida.
 It is a very impressive hog.  You can view them by
 clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     Tiglets (S499b in Big-CATS)
          From: gordonschuk on 8/6/2006
 These four photos of a mother tiger raising piglets are
 quite cute.  You can view them by clicking 'HERE'.

 Pigs are the only mammals besides humans which can be
 sunburned.  A hippopotamus also can get a sunburn.  A
 hippopotamus is related to a pig.

 Ben and Jerry's send the waste from making ice cream to
 local pig farmers to use as feed.  Pigs love the stuff,
 except for one flavor: Mint Oreo.

 In Kingsville, Texas, there is a law against two pigs
 having sex on the city's airport property.

From: humorlist-digest V2 #100 on 98-04-22
 Why do we wait until a PIG is dead, to "CURE" it?

From: Bawdy.Net Collage #318 on 6/25/00 (S179)
 A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.  ( Note: I bet you'll
 never think of a pig in the same way again!)

From: icohen on 98-12-11
 If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

From: Puneet385 on 9/15/2002 (S294)
 I like pigs.  Dogs look up to us.  Cats look down on us.
 Pigs treat us as equals.  -- Sir Winston Churchill

From: LABLaughsClean on 10/27/2008 (S622b in Jobs-Supp)
 Arguing with your Boss is like wrestling with a pig in
 mud.  After a while you realize that while you are
 getting dirty, the pig is actually enjoying it.

From: RFSlick on 98-04-30
 Q: What is a crafty pig called?
 A: CunningHAM.

From: DR SWITZER on 98-02-24
 Q: What is the difference between men and pigs?
 A: Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.

From: LABLaughsAdult on 6/9/2009 (S650b)
 Q: How did the pig go on holiday?
 A: The swine flu!

                           -(o o)-
...........................From ZooWorld.