Subj: Rabbit Jokes
(Includes 20 jokes and articles, 07751,7,cf)
Bunny Bubbles from
Also see ASCII ART III- 'Energizer
BEAR file - 'Bear And Rabbit Take A Shit'
COMPUTERS3 - 'New Mouse - SWF Movie'
DOGS1 file - 'Dog Brings Brings Home A Rabbit'
EASTER - EGGS- 'Saving The Easter Bunny'
.........................(Dead Rabbit Revived)
GENIE file - 'Three Wishes From A Genie III'
HEAVEN2 file - 'Martha Contacts John After Death'
JOBS2 file - 'Lesson number one: The Crow and the Rabbit'
MUSIC-SUPP2 - 'Bizarro Cartoon'
PRIESTS2 - 'Promotions For Priests'
WORDJOKE-SUPP- 'Raising Rabbits In Paris'
30-Second Bunny Theater Library (S582)
From: ginafm on 3/21/2008
The 30-Second Bunnies Theater
Library, in which a troupe
of bunnies parodies a collection of movies by re-enacting
them in 30 seconds. Click on the above source to view
these classics movies in 30 seconds.
Subj: Paddy And A Priest Go Rabbit Hunting (S682b)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 2/11/2010
Paddy decides to go rabbit hunting,
but when he gets to
his favorite field he sees the village priest is already
there. Paddy watches with fascination as the priest holds
his finger over a rabbit hole and immediately a rabbit
The priest grabs it and puts
it into a sack. He repeats
this unusual but very successful technique until his sack
is full of rabbits. Paddy stops the priest and asks him
how he does it.
"Easy," says the priest. "Put
your finger on your wife's
pussy and then hold it over a rabbit hole. They can't
resist the smell, so when they come out, grab them."
Paddy rushes home to find Maureen
bent over scrubbing
the floor. He lifts up her skirt and applies his finger
as directed. Without looking up, Maureen giggles, "Holy
Moses, Father! Rabbit hunting again?"
Subj: Little Girl Buys A Rabbit (S351, S529c)
From: RFSlick on 10/22/2003
An adorable little girl, all
blonde curls and blue eyes,
walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp:
"Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"
The shopkeeper's heart melts
and he gets down on his knees
so that he's on her level and asks, "Do you want a widdle
white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one
like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?"
She, blushing, rocks on her heels,
puts her hands on her
knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't
fink my python weally gives a phwuck."
Subj: Rabbit Running Through Forrest (S233, DU)
From: coreymac on 7/20/2001
A little rabbit is happily running
through the forest when
he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit
looks at her and says, "Giraffe my friend, why do you do
this? Come with me running through the forest, you'll see,
you'll feel so much better!" The giraffe looks at him,
looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with
Then they come across an elephant
doing coke, so the rabbit
again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think
about your health. Come running with us through the pretty
forest, you'll see, you'll feel so good!" The elephant
looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and all, then
tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe.
The three animals then come across
a lion about to shoot up
and the rabbit again says, "Lion my friend, why do you do
this? Think about your health! Come running with us
through the sunny forest, you will feel so good!"
The lion looks at him, puts down
his needle, and starts to
beat the shit out of the rabbit. As the giraffe and
elephant watch in horror, they look at him and ask, "Lion,
why did you do this? He was merely trying to help us all!"
The lion answers, "That little
fucker! He makes me run
around the forest like an idiot each time he's on ecstasy!"
Subj: CIA, FBI, And LAPD Go Rabbit Hunting (S148, DU)
From: JOKE-OF-THE-DAY.com on 12/01/1999
The CIA, the FBI, and the Los
Angeles Police Department
(LAPD) are all trying to prove that they are the best at
apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them
a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of
them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place
animal informants throughout
the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses.
After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude
that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After
two weeks with no leads they burn
the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit
and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in. They
come out two hours later dragging a
badly beaten bear. The bear is screaming, "Okay, okay! I'm
a RABBIT!! I'm a RABBIT!!"
Subj: The Rabbit And The Snake (S121, S441b)
From: ipkis on 97-08-07
and From: CKButch4Femme on 7/7/2005
A rabbit and a snake were both
born blind and as orphans. One
day about 2 years after their birth the snake was slithering
through the forest, when the rabbit hopped right into him, and
knocked them both down.
"I am sorry," said the rabbit
as he was getting up "but I was
born both blind and an orphan, so I don't know what I am."
"That's ok," said the snake,
"so was I, but if you would like,
I could slither over you and tell you what you are, so you can
"Ok" said the bunny
So the snake slithered over the
bunny "you have a furry tail, a
squiggly-wiggly nose, long bushy ears, and soft fur, you must be
a bunny rabbit."
The rabbit jumped with joy then
said "Let me rub my paw on you
so that you can know what you are "
The snake was glad to have the
bunny do that, so the bunny rubbed
his paws all over the snake. "Lets see, you are slimy, you have
scales, a forked tongue, and no balls. You must be a lawyer."
Subj: A Lab Rabbit Gets Free (S110, S644)
From: ArmaDillow on 97-09-11
and From: ossama on 99-03-10
A rabbit one day managed to break
free from the laboratory
where he had been born and brought up. As he scurried away
from the fencing of the compound, he felt grass under his
little feet and saw the dawn breaking for the first time in
his life. 'Wow, this is great,' he thought.
It wasn't long before he came
to a hedge and, after squeezing
under it he saw a wonderful sight: lots of other bunny rabbits,
all free and nibbling at the lush grass.
'Hey,' he called. 'I'm a rabbit
from the laboratory and I've
just escaped. Are you wild rabbits?'
'Yes. Come and join us,' they cried.
Our friend hopped over to them
and started eating the grass.
It tasted so good. 'What else do you wild rabbits do?' he
'Well,' one of them said. 'You
see that field there? It's got
carrots growing in it. We dig them up and eat them.'
This, he couldn't resist and
he spent the next hour eating
the most succulent carrots. They were wonderful.
Later, he asked them again, 'What else do you do?'
'You see that field there?
It's got lettuce growing in it.
We eat that as well.'
The lettuce tasted just as good
and he returned a while
later completely full. 'Is there anything else you guys
do?' he asked.
One of the other rabbits came
a bit closer to him and spoke
softly. 'There's one other thing you must try. You see
those rabbits there,' he said, pointing to the far corner
of the field. 'They're girls. We shag them. Go and try
Well, our friend spent the rest
of the morning screwing his
little heart out until, completely knackered, he staggered
back over to the guys.
'That was fantastic,' he panted.
'So are you going to live with us then?' one of them asked.
'I'm sorry, I had a great time but I can't.'
The wild rabbits all stared at
him, a bit surprised. 'Why?
We thought you liked it here.'
'I do,' our friend replied. 'But
I've got to get back to
the laboratory. I'm dying for a cigarette.'
Subj: Short Rabbit Jokes (DU)
Bunny Letter Opener (S687b)
Beware of Identity Theft (S593b)
The Rabbit Vs The Snake (S521, S751)
From: edapsmas on 1/16/07
and From: JOELFALLON on 6/7/2011
Bambi And Thumper Do Exist (S514)
Crazy Rabbit (S503c)
The only 2 animals that can see
behind itself without
turning it's head are the rabbit and the parrot.
From: humorlist-digest V2 #116 on 98-05-11
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
From: igiggle on 9/30/2003 (S349b)
Rabbits take about 18 naps a day, on average. (I wanna be a rabbit.)
Q: What do you call spending
the afternoon with a cranky
A: A bad hare day. -- Holly
From: JBCARY1 on 8/22/2001 (S238)
Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit?
A: Unique up on it.
Q: How do you catch a tame rabbit?
A: Tame way, unique up on it.
From: funnies on 6/6/2002 (S281b)
Q: What do you call a line of rabbits walking backwards?
A: A receding hairline!
From: igiggle on 11/11/2005 (S459b)
Q: What do you call a holiday that rabbits go on when
they first get married?