Subj:     Rats and Mice Jokes
                 (Includes 22 jokes and articles, 06 1055,10,cif,wXT4a5a,6)

Flasher from
Hurricane Electric
Includes the following:  Amanda and Monica Blow Bubbles (S1018)
.........................Sex Maniac Mouse (S235)
.........................How I Taught Rats To Sniff Out Land Mines - Video (S727)
.........................Two Mice Live In A Movie Warehouse (S727)
.........................Ellen Gareckie's Mice Drawings (S876)
.........................Mouse Story (S472b, S687b)
.........................Rolling Log Mouse Trap - Video (S1055)
.........................Three Mice Bragging In A Bar (DU)
.........................Guinness And The Mouse (S110, DU)
.........................Snake Drawing (S399b)
.........................A Tourist And The Rat Sculpture (S27, S642c)
.........................Short Rat And Mice Jokes
..............................Everyone has a bad day! (S550)
..............................Blind Rat Has Sex (S483b)
..............................Family of Mice Caught By Cat (S318)
..............................When You're Down And Out (S464b)
..............................Mouse Songs (S462b)
..............................Popsicle Stick Riddle (S822)

Also see BALLS file   - 'Mouse Balls'
         CHURCH file  - 'Rodent Evangelism' - Drawing
         COMPUTERS3   - 'New Mouse' - Video
         CONDOM file  - 'Little Johnny And Dad's Condom'
         HEAVEN2 file - 'Cat And Mice Go To Heaven'
         LAWYER2 file - 'Lawyers As Test Rats'

Subj:     Amanda and Monica Blow Bubbles (S1018)
          From: Laney Huda on Facebook on 10/16/13
 Source: https://www.pinterest.com/bezzicraf
.........Click 'HERE' to see ten more mouse drawings.
Subj:     Sex Maniac Mouse (S235)
          From: dogbyte on 7/28/2001

 One night a man heard howls coming from his basement and
 went down to discover a female cat being raped by a mouse.
 Fascinated by what he saw, the man gained the mouse's
 confidence with some cheese and then took him next door.
 The mouse repeated his amazing performance by raping a
 German Shepherd.  The man, very excited by this, was dying
 to show someone his discovery.  He rushed home and woke up
 his wife but before he could explain, she saw the mouse,
 screamed, and covered her head with the blanket.

 "Don't be afraid, darling," said the man.  "Wait until I
 tell you about this."

 "Get out of here!" cried his wife. "And take that sex
 maniac with you!"

Subj:     Bart Weetjens: How To Teach Rats To
             Sniff Out Land Mines (S727d)
          From: Wimp.com on 12/17/2010
 Source1: https://www.youtube.com/embed/9IRv3TOjE1I
 Source2: http://www.wimp.com/teachingrats/

 At TEDxRotterdam, Bart Weetjens talks about his extra-
 ordinary project: training rats to sniff out land mines.
 He shows clips of his "hero rats" in action, and previews
 his work's next phase: teaching them to turn up tuber-
 culosis in the lab.  Click 'HERE' to see this wonderful

Subj:     Two Mice Live In A Movie Warehouse (S727)
          From: ezines@arcamax.com on 12/21/2010

 Two mice live in a movie studio warehouse and are looking
 for food. Suddenly one hears the other chewing.

 "What did you find?" he asks.

 "I am not sure," comes the answer.  "It looks like a piece
 of film celluloid from an old movie.  Let me see... Ah, yes.
 It is from 'Gone with the Wind.'"

 "And how is it?"

 "Nothing much.  The book was better."

Subj:     Ellen Gareckie's Mice Drawings (S876d)
          From: Laney Huda on Facebook on 10/16/13
Photo from Amazon.com
 Source1: http://www.liveinternet.ru/tags/Eileen+Gareckie/
 Source2: http://annacatharina.centerblog.net/rub-ellen-jareckie-art-.html

 Ellen was born in Bennington, Vermont in 1959.  As a child,
 she spent much of her spare time drawing.  She also kept a
 variety of pets throughout her childhood, which included a
 pig named Pipsqueak (who was raised on a bottle) a quail,
 some lizards and, of course, mice.  When Ellen was introduced
 to her first mouse, it was love at first sight, and the
 beginning of a lifelong interest, which would eventually
 lead to the creation of House-Mouse Designs®.

 In college and looking for money for a trip to Europe in 1980,
 Ellen followed the advice of her boyfriend, Barry Percy, and
 created several pen-and-ink drawings of her pet mouse, Tiny,
 to sell at a craft show.  Twenty-six years later, their
 business is making a darned good living for them.
 to see ten of Ellen's mouse drawings.
Subj:     Mouse Story (S472b, S687b)
          From: gordonschuk on 1/29/2006

 Mouse looked through the crack in the wall to see the farmer
 and his wife open a package.  "What food might this contain?"
 The mouse wondered - he was devastated to discover  it was a

 Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning.
 "There is a mousetrap in the house!  There is a mousetrap in
 the house!"

 The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said,
 "Mr. Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to you, but it
 is of no consequence to me.   I cannot be bothered by it."

 The mouse turned to the pig and told him, "There is a mouse-
 trap in the house!  There is a mousetrap in the house!"

 The pig sympathized, but said, "I am so very sorry, Mr.  Mouse,
 but there is nothing I can do about it but pray.  Be assured
 you are in my prayers."

 The mouse turned to the cow and said "There is a mousetrap in
 the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"

 The cow said, "Wow, Mr.  Mouse.  I'm sorry for you, but it's
 no skin off my nose."

 So, the mouse returned to the house, head down and dejected,
 to face the farmer's  mousetrap alone.

 That very night a sound was heard throughout the house -- like
 the sound of a mousetrap catching its prey.

 The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught.  In the dark-
 ness, she did not see it was  a venomous snake whose tail the
 trap had caught.  The snake bit the farmer's wife.

 The farmer rushed her to the hospital, and she returned home
 with a fever.  Everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh
 chicken soup, so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard
 for the soup's main ingredient.

 But his wife's sickness continued, so friends and neighbours
 came to sit with her around the clock.  To feed them, the
 farmer butchered the pig.

 The farmer's wife did not get well; she died.  So many people
 came for her funeral, the farmer had the cow slaughtered to
 provide enough meat for all of them.

 The mouse looked upon it all from his crack in the wall with
 great sadness.

 So, the next time you hear someone is facing a problem and
 think it doesn't concern you, remember -- when one of us is
 threatened, we are all at risk.  We are all involved in this
 journey called life.  We must keep an eye out for one another
 and make an extra effort to encourage one another.

 One of the best things to hold onto in this world is a friend.

Subj:     Rolling Log Mouse Trap (S1055d)
          From: Jackie Berg on 4/5/2017

 Source: https://www.youtube.com/

 When I was in Alaska in 1976 they called it an Alaskan
 Mouse Trap. Click 'HERE' to see the best mouse trap ever.

Subj:     Three Mice Bragging In A Bar (DU)
          From: humorlist-digest V2 #130 on 98-05-25

 Three mice were sitting in a bar talking about how tough
 they were.

 The first mouse slams a shot and says, "I play with mouse
 traps for fun.  I'll run into one on purpose and as it is
 closing on me, I grab the bar and bench press it twenty or
 thirty times."  And with that he slams another shot.

 The second mouse slams a shot and says, "That's nothing.
 I take those Decon tablets, cut them up and snort them
 just for the fun of it."  And with that he slams another

 The third mouse slams a shot, gets up and walks away.  The
 first two mice look at each other, and then turn to the
 third mouse and ask, "Where the hell are you going?"

 The third mouse stops and replies, "Can't hang around
 with you wimps.  I'm going home to fuck the cat."

Subj:     Guinness And The Mouse (S110, DU)
          From: thebartend on 99-03-06

 Some Guinness was spilt on the barroom floor
 When the pub was shut for the night.
 When out of his hole crept a wee brown mouse
 And stood in the pale moonlight.

 He lapped up the frothy foam from the floor
 Then back on his haunches he sat.
 And all night long, you could hear the mouse roar,
 "Bring on the goddamn cat!"

Subj:     Snake Drawing (S399b)
          From: Imogenelumen on 6/26/2004
Subj:     A Tourist And The Rat Sculpture (S27, S642c)
          From: jbcary1 on 10/18/2004

 (Also see 'Red Pigeon In Phoenix' in BIRDS)

 A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San
 Francisco's Chinatown.  Picking through the objects on
 display he discovers a detailed, life-sized bronze
 sculpture of a rat.  The sculpture is so interesting and
 unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner what
 it costs.

 "Twelve dollars for the rat, sir," says the shop owner,
 "and a thousand dollars more for the story behind it."

 "You can keep the story, old man," he replies, "but I'll
 take the rat."  The transaction complete, the tourist
 leaves the store with the bronze rat under his arm.  As
 he crosses the street in front of the store, two live
 rats emerge from a sewer drain and fall into step behind
 him.  Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins to
 walk faster, but every time he passes another sewer drain,
 more rats come out and follow him.  By the time he's walked
 two blocks, at least a hundred rats are at his heels, and
 people begin to point and shout.  He walks even faster, and
 soon breaks into a trot as multitudes of rats swarm from
 sewers, basements, vacant lots, and abandoned cars.  Rats
 by the thousands are at his heels, and as he sees the
 waterfront at the bottom of the hill, he panics and starts
 to run full tilt.  No matter how fast he runs, the rats
 keep up, squealing hideously, now not just thousands but
 millions, so that by the time he comes rushing up to the
 water's edge a trail of rats twelve city blocks long is
 behind him.  Making a mighty leap, he jumps up onto a light
 post, grasping it with one arm while he hurls the bronze
 rat into San Francisco Bay with the other, as far as he
 can heave it.  Pulling his legs up and clinging to the
 light post, he watches in amazement as the seething tide
 of rats surges over the breakwater into the sea, where
 they drown.

 Shaken and mumbling, he makes his way back to the antique
 shop.  "Ah, so you've come back for the rest of the story,"
 says the owner.

 "No," says the tourist, "I was wondering if you have a
 bronze lawyer."

Subj:     Short Rat And Mice Jokes

Subj:     Everyone has a bad day! (S550)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 8/6/2007
..........At: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
 You can view this dirty, but all too true photos
 by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     Blind Rat Has Sex (S483b)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 4/26/2006
 Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
 You can view this cute animated GIF by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     Family of Mice Caught By Cat (S318)
          From: LABLaughs.com on 3/2/2003
 A family of mouse were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse
 jumped and and said, "Bow-wow!" The cat ran away. "What was
 that, Father?" asked Baby Mouse. "Well, son, that's why it's
 important to learn a second language."

Subj:     When You're Down And Out (S464b)
          From: darrell94590 on 12/12/2005
 This cute, dirty cartoon can be seen by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     Mouse Songs (S462b)
          From: Science News on 11/26/2005
 Source: (No longer on the internet)
 You can listen to five mouse songs by clicking on the source above.

Subj:     Popsicle Stick Riddle (S822)
          From: Unilever
................Englewood Cliffs, NJ 07632
 Source: www.Popsicle.com
..........Click 'HERE' to see all 22 riddles.
From: ICohen on 3/13/2001 (S215)
 Walt Disney was afraid of mice.

 In L.A., California it is illegal to set a mousetrap without
 a hunting license....

From: mombear1 on 8/21/2001 (S238)
 A rat can last longer without water than a camel.

From: joke-of-the-day.com on 5/5/2003 (S327b)
 Whenever man comes up with a better mousetrap, nature
 immediately comes up with a better mouse.  -- James Carswell

From: DoctorDebt on 6/2/2003 (S322b)
 It has recently been discovered that
 research causes cancer in rats.

                           -(o o)-
............................From Smiley_Central.