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Subject: The Sunday Morning Laughs #570b
         Date: 1/6/2008

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Subj:     Talking Cats
          From: ginafm on 12/22/2007
 Source: http://www.metacafe.com/watch/894687/very_talking_cat_incredible/

 You can view this strange movie at the source above, or 
 on my web site by clicking below.

 http://jokelibrary.net/animals/a_to_c/cats2-talking.html

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Subj:     Kitten Cannon
          From: BootyArcade.com on 12/24/2007
 Source: http://www.bootyarcade.com/playgames/3252/kitten-cannon.html

 Try to shoot the kitten the farthest distance with the cannon. 
 You can play this sick game at the source above, or on my web 
 site by clicking below.

 http://jokelibrary.net/animals/a_to_c/cats2-cannon.html

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Subj:     Two Irish And An Indian Head At A Bar

 There are two Irish fellows, Paddy and Murphy, in a bar in 
 the wild west who are totally drunk.  All of a sudden, a 
 man walks into the bar with a red Indian's head under his 
 arm. 

 The barman shakes his hand and says, "I fucking hate Indians, 
 last week the bastards burnt my barn to the ground, raped my 
 wife and killed my children." 

 He then says, "If any man brings me the head of a red Indian, 
 I'll give him one thousand dollars." 

 The two Irish fellows look at each other and walk out of the 
 bar to go looking for an Indian.  They've been walking around 
 for a while when suddenly they see one, so Paddy throws a 
 stone which hits the Indian right on the head.  The Indian 
 falls off his horse but lands seventy feet down a ravine, so 
 the two Irish men make their way down the ravine where Paddy 
 starts sawing the Indian's head off. 

 Whilst in the middle of doing this, Murphy suddenly says, 
 "Paddy, look at this." 

 Paddy replies, "Not now, I'm busy." 

 Murphy tugs him on the shoulder and says, "I really think you 
 should look at this." 

 Paddy keeps on sawing and says, "Look, fuck off, you can see 
 I'm busy.  There's a thousand dollars in my hand." 

 But Murphy's adamant. "Please, Paddy look at this." 

 So Paddy finally looks up and standing at the top of the 
 ravine are 5,000 red Indians.  Paddy shakes his head in 
 disbelief and says, "Fuck me, we're going to be millionaires!"

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Subj:     College Biology Class
          From: RFSlick on 98-10-19

 Mr. Perkins, the biology instructor at a posh suburban girl's
 junior college, said during class, "Miss Smythe, would you
 please name the organ of the human body, which under the
 appropriate conditions, expands to six times its normal size,
 and define the conditions."

 Miss Smythe gasped, then said freezingly, "Mr. Perkins, I
 don't think that is a proper question to ask me. I assure
 you my parents will hear of this."  With that she sat down
 red-faced.

 Unperturbed, Mr. Perkins called on Miss Johnson and asked
 the same question.  Miss Johnson, with composure, replied,
 "The pupil of the eye, in dim light." "Correct," said Mr.
 Perkins.

 "And now, Miss Smythe, I have three things to say to you.
 "One, you have not studied your lesson.  "Two, you have a
 dirty mind.  "And three, you will some day be faced with
 a dreadful disappointment."

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Subj:     A 49er Fan
          From: niner282003 on 11/5/2003 

 An elementary teacher starts a new job at a school in San 
 Diego and trying to make a good impression on her first 
 day, explains to her class that she's a Chargers fan. 
 She asks the class to raise their hands if they too are 
 Charger fans. 

 Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little 
 girl.  The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and 
 says: "Jessica, why didn't you raise your hand?" 

 "Because I'm not a Chargers fan," she replied. 

 The teacher, still shocked, asked: "Well, if you're not 
 a Chargers fan, then who do you support?" 

 "I'm a 49ers fan, and proud of it," Jessica replied. 

 The teacher could not believe her ears. "Jessica, why 
 are you a 49ers fan?" 

 "Because my Mom and Dad are from the bay area and my Mom 
 is a 49ers fan and my dad is a 49ers fan, so I'm a 49ers 
 fan too." 

 "Well, said the teacher, in an obviously annoyed tone, 
 that's no reason for you to be a 49ers fan.  You don't 
 have to be just like your parents all of the time.  What 
 if your Mom was a prostitute and your Dad was a drug 
 addict and a car thief, what would you be then?" 

 Jessica said, "I'd be a Raider fan."

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Subj:     Vitamine B6 And Frequent Urination
          From: Dr. Peter Gott 
          in Vallejo Times Herald on 12/25/2007

 This home-remedy for male frequent urination was
 in the doctor's column of the Vallejo Times Herald.
 Click  below to read.

 http://jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/b_to_e/eyes-B6.html

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Smiley and eyebrows from
Imogenelumen on 12/17/2003

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