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Subject: The Sunday Morning Laughs #571b
         Date: 1/13/2008

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Subj:     Why I Was Never Late For School
          From: rfslick on 12/27/2007

 This short dragstrip movie is impressive.  Click below
 to play it on my site.

 http://jokelibrary.net/education/after_m/sch-supp2-bus.html

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Subj:     Engineering Gone Bad
          From: darrellvip on 12/27/2007

 Guess those bridge weight signs are important after all. 
 Click below to view this silly mistake.

 http://jokelibrary.net/occupations/eng/eng3-bridge.html

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Subj:     An Italian Christmas Date
          From: tom on 12/28/2007 

 I thought it would be a nice idea to bring a date to my 
 parents' house on Christmas Eve.  I thought it would be 
 interesting for a non-Italian girl to see how an Italian 
 family spends the holidays. I was wrong!  This story is
 hilarious, but too long to include.  Click below to
 read it.

 http://jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/Christmas-supp.html#italian

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Subj:     Facts On Golf II
          From: tom on 12/29/2007

 Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it. 

 Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your
 mind during your swing. 

 When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can
 either hit one more club or two more balls. 

 If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while
 the foursome ahead of you is still putting out, you have
 two options: you can immediately shank a lay-up or you can
 wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there.. 

 The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share
 his ideas about the golf swing. 

 No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to
 play worse. 

 The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the instant
 elimination of the one critical unconscious motion that
 allowed you to compensate for all of your many other errors. 

 Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot. 

 A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponents'
 luck. 

 It is surprisingly easy to hole a fifty foot putt. For a 10. 

 Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a
 rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut. 

 Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts 

 It's not a gimme if you're still away. 

 The shortest distance between any two points on a golf
 course is a straight line that passes directly through
 the center of a very large tree. 

 You can hit a two acre fairway 10% of the time and a two
 inch branch 90% of the time. 

 If you really want to get better at golf, go back and
 take it up at a much earlier age. 

 Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot
 is actually the beginning of the next group of three. 

 When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will always
 look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to
 start watching the ball if you ever want to see it again. 

 Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently
 make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental
 equilibrium of the universe. 

 If you want to hit a 7 iron as far as Tiger Woods does,
 simply try to lay up just short of a water hazard. 

 To calculate the speed of a player's downswing, multiply
 the speed of his back-swing by his handicap; I.e., back-
 swing 20 mph, handicap 15, downswing = 300 mph. 

 One of my personal favorites:
 There are two things you can learn by stopping your back-
 swing at the top and checking the position of your hands:
 how many hands you have, and which one is wearing the glove. 

 Hazards attract; fairways repel. 

 A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards
 away is not yours. 

 If there is a ball on the fringe and a ball in the bunker,
 your ball is in the bunker.  If both balls are in the
 bunker, yours is in the footprint 

 It's easier to get up at 6:00 AM to play golf than at
 10:00 to mow the yard 

 A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer
 from giving up the game. 

 Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you
 always end up having to pray a lot. 

 A good golf partner is one who's always slightly worse
 than you are....that's why I get so many calls to play
 with friends. 

 If there's a storm rolling in, you'll be having the game
 of your life. 

 Golf balls are like eggs.  They're white.  They're sold
 by the dozen.  And you need to buy fresh ones each week. 

 It's amazing how a golfer who never helps out around the
 house will replace his divots, repair his ball marks,
 and rake his sand traps. 

 If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot
 a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight (or worse). 

 It takes longer to learn to be a good golfer than it does
 to become a brain surgeon.  On the other hand, you don't
 get to ride around on a cart, drink beer, eat hot dogs
 and fart if you are performing brain surgery!

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Subj:     Short Jokes That Made Me Laugh Or Smile

From: LABLaughsClean on 12/29/07 (S571b tho-learn-supp2)

 Death is more universal than life. Everyone dies, 
 but not everyone lives.  Unknown

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Calvin in Sunglasses from
GIFMania

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