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Subj:     Tequila and Salt
          From: gordonschuk on 1/2/2008

 This sign should probably be taped to your bathroom mirror 
 where one could read it every day.  You may not realize it, 
 but it's 100% true.  Click below to read the sign.

 http://jokelibrary.net/education/after_m/psych-supp-tequila.html

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Subj:     Prison Retirement
          From: WashingtonPost on 1/3/2008
 Source: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/artsandliving
........./comics/king.html?name=Bizarro&date=20080103

 This Bizarro comic strip is interesting.  Click below to view.

 http://jokelibrary.net/people/p_files/pris-retirement.html
 

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Subj:     The New Kellogg's Box
          From: tom on 1/5/2008

 I believe this new Kellogg's box would be a hit 
 with the older eaters.  Click below to see it.

 http://jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/polit/polit-supp-flakes.html

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Subj:     Finding A Picture Of The Competition
          From: thebartend on 4/26/99 
      and From: ginafm on 1/1/2008 

 Whilst enjoying a drink with a friend one night, Dan decides 
 to try his luck with an attractive young girl sitting alone 
 by the bar.  To his surprise, she asks him to join her for a 
 drink and eventually asks him if he'd like to come back to 
 her place. 

 The pair jump into a taxi and as soon as they get back to her 
 flat they dive onto the bed and spend the night hard at it. 

 Finally, Dan being totally spent rolls over, pulls out a 
 cigarette from his jeans and searches for his lighter.  Unable 
 to find it, he asks the girl if she has one at hand. 

 "There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replies. 

 Opening the drawer of the bedside table, he finds a box of 
 matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another 
 man.  Naturally, Dan begins to worry. "Is this your husband?" 
 he inquires nervously. 

 "No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him. 

 "Your boyfriend then?" 

 "No, don't be daft," she says, nibbling away at his ear. 

 "Well, who is he then?" demands the Dan. Calmly, the girl 
 takes a match, strikes it across the side of her face and 
 replies, "That's me before the operation."

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Subj:     Farmer's Mule Kills Mother-In-Law
          From: grs on 97-12-04 
      and From: tom on 1/3/2008 

 A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, 
 who immediately demanded an inspection of the place.  The 
 Farmer had genuinely tried to be friendly to his new mother- 
 in-law, hoping that it could be a friendly, non-antagonistic 
 relationship.  To no avail, she kept nagging them at every 
 opportunity, demanding changes, offering unwanted advice and 
 making life unbearable to the farmer and his new bride. 

 While they were walking through the barn, the farmer's mule 
 suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, 
 killing her instantly. 

 At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood 
 near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by.  The 
 pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper some- 
 thing to the farmer, he would nod his head yes and say 
 something.  Whenever a man walked by and whispered to 
 the farmer, however, he would shake his head, no and mumble 
 a reply. 

 Very curious as to this bizarre behavior, the pastor later 
 asked The farmer what that was all about.  The farmer replied, 
 "The women would say, 'What a terrible tragedy' and I would 
 nod my head and say, 'Yes, it was.'  The men would ask, 'Can 
 I borrow that mule?' and I would shake my head and say, 
 'Can't.  It's all booked up for a year.'

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Subj:     Elderly Father Rides Train In South
          From: RFSlick on 98-09-14 

 A man who lived in the South had tried for years to persuade 
 his elderly father to visit him.  Unfortunately, the father 
 was from the old country, but now living in the northeastern 
 part of the United States, he had a great fear of flying and 
 staunchly refused to have any part of it.  The son finally 
 convinced him that he should take the train and travel south 
 to see him and visit with his family. 

 Anxiously the son waited at the train station for the arrival 
 of his father's train at the appointed time.  As his father 
 departed the train to hugs and friendly greetings, his son 
 said to him "Well, Poppa, how was your train ride?"  His 
 father shook his head and said "Oh, America, she's a beautiful 
 country.  I'ma ridin' along justa enjoyin' da countryside and 
 I tinka I lika to have me a smoke...   so I taka outa me pipe 
 anda just asa I'ma gonna light up, along comes da conductor 
 and he's a sayin' to you Poppa 'No smokin in da passenger car!' 

 I taka me to da smokin car and smoka me pipe ...   me tinka me 
 lika to hava a drink...   so, I taka out me flask and justa as 
 I'ma gonna taka a sip, along comes that conductor and he tells 
 you Poppa 'No drinkin in da smokin car!.' 

 I taka me pipe anda flask and goes to da drinkin car.  I'ma 
 sittina dere and a perty girl coma and sitta by you Poppa, her 
 name Virginia.  She sitta close to you Poppa and I patta her 
 on de knee and she lika dat...   she sitta closer and I patta 
 her on the tigh......she really lika dat a lot!  We justa 
 huggin and akissin and along came date conductor again 
 and he saysa 'No hanky panky in da drinkin car!' 

 So, you Poppa aska Virginia if she wanna go backa to me lil 
 sleepin car and she say 'Sure!'  We go to me lil sleepin car 
 and we's justa huggin and akissin....   and along came data 
 damned coneductor and he's a shoutin "NO FOLK VIRGINIA!!!!!!" 

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Worm from Animated Image © Kitty Roach