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Subject: The Sunday Morning Laughs #576b
         Date: 2/17/2008

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Subj:     Redneck Lawnmower Beer Run
          From: AFine963 on 1/24/2008
 Source: http://www.biggeekdaddy.com/humorpages/Misc/lawnmowerDUI.html

 This movie is of a drunk redneck, who is driving his lawnmower
 on the highway, being arrested.  You can see it at the source
 above, or on my web site by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/people/red/supp-lawnmower.html

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Subj:     Hillary's Dream
          From: tom on 2/11/2008

 Humorous pictures and cartoons are two of the few things 
 I like about an election year.  This picture is funny. 
 Click below to view it.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/polit/polit-supp-dream.html

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Subj:     Model Plane-Flying Contest
          From: LABLaughsClean on 1/11/08
 Source: http://www.buffalosjokes.com/062718.htm

 This model plane-flying contest to music is impressive. 
 To see the Benoit entry either click on the source above, 
 or below for my web site.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/plane/supp-Benoit.html

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Subj:     What Video Game System Should I Own
          From: LABLaughsClean on 1/14/08
 Source: http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C20071230

 This flow chart solution to video game system selection is 
 cute.  To view it either click on the source above, or 
 below to see it on my web site.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/g2/video.html

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Subj:     Dear White Fella:
          From: Bawdy.Net Collage #311 on 8/13/99
      and From: AFine963 on 1/24/2008

 Dear White Fella:
 Coupla lings you orta no:

 First.
 Wen Iam Born  -  Im Black:
 Wen I Grow up - Im  Black
 Wen I Get sick - Im  Black
 Wen I Go out ina sun - Im Black
 Wen Im Cold   -   Im Black
 and Wen Iím scared, - jees Im Black
 and  Wen I Die,   - Im still Black

 But You White Fella:
 Wen you born you,  Pink
 Wen you grow up you,  White
 Wen you sick, you,  Green
 Wen you go out ina sun , you go Red
 Wen you get cold you go , Blue
 Wen you get scared you go,  Yellow
 and Wen you die , you go purple

 and you got the cheek to call me COLORED!

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Subj:     Penmanship
          From: tom on 1/23/2008

 A nurse walks into a bank, totally exhausted after an
 18-hour shift.  Preparing to write a check, she pulls a
 rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write
 with it.

 When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabber-
 gasted teller and without missing a beat, she says: 'Well,
 that's great....some asshole's got my pen!

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Subj:     Itailian Firefighters
          From: THE GAG ROOM on 03/16/97 
      and From: RFSlick on 4/2/2003 and 1/23/2008 

 One dark night in the small town of Garfield , NJ, a fire 
 started inside the local sausage factory.  In a blink the 
 building was engulfed in flames.  The alarm went out to 
 all the fire departments for miles around. 

 When the first volunteer fire fighters appeared on the 
 scene, the sausage company president rushed to the fire 
 chief and said, "All of our secret sausage recipes are in 
 the vault in the center of the plant.  They must be saved. 
 I will donate $50,000 to the fire department that brings 
 them out and delivers them to me." 

 But the roaring flames held the firefighters off.  Soon 
 more fire departments had to be called in because the 
 situation became desperate.  As the firemen arrived, the 
 president shouted out that the offer to extricate the 
 secret recipes was now $100,000 to the fire department 
 that could save them. 

 Suddenly from up the road, a lone siren was heard as 
 another fire truck came into sight.  It was the fire 
 engine of the nearby Lodi, NJ volunteer fire department 
 composed mainly of Italian firefighters over the age of 65. 

 To everyone's amazement, the little run-down fire engine, 
 operated by these Italian firefighters, passed fire 
 engines parked outside the plant, and drove straight into 
 the middle of the inferno.  Outside, the other firemen 
 watched in amazement as the Italian old timers jumped off 
 and began to fight the fire with a performance that was 
 as if they were fighting to save their own lives Within a 
 short time, the Lodi old timers had extinguished the fire 
 and saved the secret recipes. 

 The grateful sausage company president joyfully announced 
 that for such a superhuman accomplishment he was upping 
 the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally 
 thank each of the brave elderly Italian firefighters. 

 A TV news crew rushed in after capturing the event on film. 
 The 'on camera' reporter asked the Italian fire chief, 
 "What are you going to do with all that money?" 

 "Wella," said Chief Pasquale De Luccinellavanti, the 70- 
 year-old fire chief, "de fursta tinga we gonnna do isza
 fixa uppa de brakes on dat fockinna truck!!"

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Subj:     Wife asks 'What Day Is This?'
          From: http://www.twistedhumor.com on 9/26/2000 

 Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, 
 "I bet you don't know what day this is." 

 "Of course I do," he indignantly answered, going out the 
 door to the office. 

 At 10 AM, the doorbell rang, and when the woman opened 
 the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long 
 stemmed red roses. 

 At 1 PM, a foil wrapped , two pound box of her favorite 
 chocolates arrived. 

 Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress.  The woman 
 couldn't wait for her husband to come home . "First the 
 flowers then the chocolates, and then the dress!" she 
 exclaimed. "I've never had a more wonderful 'Arbor Day' 
 in all my life!" 

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Subj:     Short Jokes That Made Me Laugh Or Smile

From: LABLaughsClean on 1/11/08

 "May you never forget what is worth remembering,
  nor ever remember what is best forgotten."
                                  - Irish blessing
 

 Money isn't everything.
 But it keeps the kids in touch.
 

 "A small trouble is like a pebble. Hold it too close to 
 your eye and it fills the whole world and puts 
 everything out of focus. Hold it at a proper distance 
 and it can be examined and properly classified. 
 Throw it at your feet and it can be seen in its true 
 setting, just one more tiny bump on the pathway 
 of life".

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Worm from Animated Image © Kitty Roach

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