Subject: The
Sunday Morning Laughs #577
Date: 2/24/2008
"He who laughs, lasts."
-- Mary Pettibone
Poole
The best jokes I receive each week
are from you folks.
If you get a good joke please pass
it on to me, I enjoy
a good laugh and it cut down the
work. If you don't get
you Sunday Laughs, or want a back
issue, drop me a note.
Go to http://jokelibrary.net/a_joke_library.html
to read the great jokes you have
sent me through the years.
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Subj: The
Disappearing Car Door
Made by: JaTech
From: darrellvip on 1/28/2008
Source: http://www.disappearing-car-door.com/#
This car innovation is amazing.
You can see the disappearing
car door at the source above,
or on my site by clicking below.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/cars/cars-supp-disappear.html
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Subj: DoubleTake
Puzzles
From: People Magazine on 1/29/2008
People Magazine is now taking
a picture of a celebrity each
week and producing two pictures
with six differences. Can
you find the six differences
the pictures of Orlando Bloon
and of Rachel Bilson.
Click below to test your skill.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/yNonJokes/bt/double/double01.html
and
http://www.jokelibrary.net/yNonJokes/bt/double/double02.html
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Subj: Frank
And Ernest On Campaigning
From: WashingtonPost.com on 1/29/2008
Source: http://members.comics.com/members/common
........./affiliateArchive.do?site=washpost&comic=franknernest
You can view this cute political
cartoon on my web site
by clicking below.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/polit/polit-supp-frank.html
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Subj: Proxy
Father
From: scott_pryor on 99-01-26
and From: LABLaughs@LABLaughs.com on 2/12/2004
The Smiths had no children
and decided to use a proxy father
to start their family.
On the day the proxy father was to
arrive, Mr. Smith kissed
his wife and said, "I'm off. The
man should be here soon".
Half an hour later, just by
chance, a door-to-door baby
photographer rang the doorbell,
hoping to make a sale. "Good
morning madam. You
don't know me but I've come to..."
"Oh, no need to explain.
I've been expecting you," Mrs.
Smith cut in.
"Really ?" the photographer
asked. "Well, good! I've made a
specialty of babies."
"That's what my husband and
I had hoped. Please come in and
have a seat. Just where
do we start?" asked Mrs. Smith,
blushing.
"Leave everything to me.
I usually try two in the bathtub,
one on the couch and perhaps
a couple on the bed. Sometimes
the living room floor is
fun too; you can really spread out."
"Bathtub, living room floor?
No wonder it didn't work for
Harry and me."
"Well, madam, none of us can
guarantee a good one everytime.
But if we try several different
positions and I shoot from
six or seven angles, I'm
sure you'll be pleased with the
results."
"I hope we can get this over
with quickly," gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Madam, in my line of work,
a man must take his time.
I'd love to be in and out
in five minutes, but you'd be
disappointed with that, I'm
sure."
"Don't I know !!", Mrs. Smith
exclaimed.
The photographer opened his
briefcase and pulled out a
portfolio of his baby pictures.
"This was done on the top
of a bus in downtown London."
"Oh my god!!", Mrs. Smith
exclaimed, tugging at her
handkerchief.
"And these twins turned out
exceptionally well when you
consider their mother was
so difficult to work with." The
photographer handed Mrs.Smith
the picture.
"She was difficult ?" asked
Mrs. Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so.
I finally had to take her to Hyde
Park to get the job done
right. People were crowding
around four and five deep,
pushing to get a good look."
"Four and five deep?" asked
Mrs.Smith, eyes widened in
amazement.
"Yes", the photographer said.
"And for more than three
hours too. The mother
was constantly squealing and
yelling. I could hardly concentrate.
Then darkness
approached and I began to
rush my shots. Finally, when
the squirrels began nibbling
on my equipment, I just
packed it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward.
"You mean they actually chewed
on your, eh... equipment
?".
"That's right. Well madam,
if you're ready, I'll set up
my tripod so that we can
get to work."
"Tripod??", Mrs. Smith looked
extremely worried now.
"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod
to rest my Canon on. It's
much too big for me to hold
while I'm getting ready for
action. Madam?
Madam?... Good Lord, she's fainted !!"
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Subj: Trooper
Stops Farmer
From: hellgunner50 on 8/21/2004
and From: tom on 1/29/2008
A farmer got pulled over by
a state trooper for speeding,
and the trooper started to
lecture the farmer about his
speed, and in general began
to throw his weight around to
try to make the farmer uncomfortable.
Finally, the trooper got around
to writing out the ticket,
and as he was doing that
he kept swatting at some flies
that were buzzing around
his head. The farmer said,
"Having some problems with
circle flies there, are ya?"
The trooper stopped writing
the ticket and said --"Well
yeah, if that's what they
are -- I never heard of circle
flies."
So the farmer says -- "Well,
circle flies are common on
farms. See, they're
called circle flies because they're
almost always found circling
around the back end of a
horse."
The trooper says, "Oh," and
goes back to writing the
ticket. Then after
a minute he stops and says, "Hey...
wait a minute, are you trying
to call me a horse's ass?"
The farmer says, "Oh no, officer.
I have too much
respect for law enforcement
and police officers to even
think about calling you a
horse's ass."
The trooper says, "Well, that's
a good thing," and goes
back to writing the ticket.
After a long pause, the farmer
says, "Hard to fool them
flies though."
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Subj: Moonwalker
From: Internet Joke Archive
and From: darrellvip on 1/30/2008
When Apollo Mission Astronaut
Neil Armstrong first walked
on the moon, he not only
gave his famous "One Small Step
for Man, One Giant Leap for
Mankind" statement, but followed
it by several remarks - usual
COM traffic between him, the
other astronauts and Mission
Control. Before he re-entered
the lander, he made the enigmatic
remark "Good luck, Mr.
Gorsky." Many people
at NASA thought it was a casual remark
concerning some rival Soviet
Cosmonaut. However upon
checking, there was no Gorsky
in either the Russian or
American space programs.
Over the years, many people
have questioned him as to what
the "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky"
statement meant but Armstrong
never answering. On
July 5, in Tampa Bay, FL, while
answering questions following
a speech, a reporter brought
up the Gorsky quote.
On the 26 of July he finally
responded. It seems
that Mr. Gorsky had died and so
Armstrong felt he could answer
the question.
When he was a kid, Neil was
playing baseball with his
brother in the backyard.
His brother hit a fly ball
which landed in front of
his neighbors' bedroom window.
The neighbors were Mr. and
Mrs. Gorksy. As he leaned down
to pick up the ball, he heard
Mrs. Gorsky shouting at
Mr. Gorsky, "Oral sex? Oral
sex you want? You'll get
oral sex when the kid next
door walks on the moon!"
This urban legend is a fun
story, but false, as verified at
http://www.snopes.com/quotes/mrgorsky.asp
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Subj: LOGIC
PROBLEM - Which Figure Does Not Belong
From: Puzzles And Brain Teasers on 1/27/08
Source: http://www.apuzzlezone.com/adailypuzzle/brainteasercontest.html
THIS WEEKS CONTEST TEASER
"Puzzle #67"
Which figure seen on my web
site below does not belong
with the rest? Click
below to see the figures.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/math4b-supp2.html#lp-which_figure
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