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Subject: The Sunday Morning Laughs #577
         Date: 2/24/2008
 

"He who laughs, lasts."
    -- Mary Pettibone Poole
 

The best jokes I receive each week are from you folks.
If you get a good joke please pass it on to me, I enjoy
a good laugh and it cut down the work.  If you don't get
you Sunday Laughs, or want a back issue, drop me a note.
 
 

Go to http://jokelibrary.net/a_joke_library.html
to read the great jokes you have sent me through the years.
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Subj:     The Disappearing Car Door
          Made by: JaTech 
          From: darrellvip on 1/28/2008
 Source: http://www.disappearing-car-door.com/#

 This car innovation is amazing.  You can see the disappearing 
 car door at the source above, or on my site by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/cars/cars-supp-disappear.html

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Subj:     DoubleTake Puzzles
          From: People Magazine on 1/29/2008

 People Magazine is now taking a picture of a celebrity each
 week and producing two pictures with six differences.  Can
 you find the six differences the pictures of Orlando Bloon
 and of Rachel Bilson.  Click below to test your skill.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/yNonJokes/bt/double/double01.html

and

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/yNonJokes/bt/double/double02.html

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Subj:     Frank And Ernest On Campaigning 
          From: WashingtonPost.com on 1/29/2008
 Source: http://members.comics.com/members/common
........./affiliateArchive.do?site=washpost&comic=franknernest

 You can view this cute political cartoon on my web site 
 by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/polit/polit-supp-frank.html

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Subj:     Proxy Father
          From: scott_pryor on 99-01-26 
      and From: LABLaughs@LABLaughs.com on 2/12/2004 

 The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father 
 to start their family.  On the day the proxy father was to 
 arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off.  The 
 man should be here soon". 

 Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby 
 photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good 
 morning madam.  You don't know me but I've come to..." 

 "Oh, no need to explain.  I've been expecting you," Mrs. 
 Smith cut in. 

 "Really ?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a 
 specialty of babies." 

 "That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and 
 have a seat.  Just where do we start?" asked Mrs. Smith, 
 blushing. 

 "Leave everything to me.  I usually try two in the bathtub, 
 one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed.  Sometimes 
 the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out." 

 "Bathtub, living room floor?  No wonder it didn't work for 
 Harry and me." 

 "Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one everytime. 
 But if we try several different positions and I shoot from 
 six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the 
 results." 

 "I hope we can get this over with quickly," gasped Mrs. Smith. 

 "Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. 
 I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be 
 disappointed with that, I'm sure." 

 "Don't I know !!", Mrs. Smith exclaimed. 

 The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a 
 portfolio of his baby pictures.  "This was done on the top 
 of a bus in downtown London." 

 "Oh my god!!", Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her 
 handkerchief. 

 "And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you 
 consider their mother was so difficult to work with."  The 
 photographer handed Mrs.Smith the picture. 

 "She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith. 

 "Yes, I'm afraid so.  I finally had to take her to Hyde 
 Park to get the job done right.  People were crowding 
 around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look." 

 "Four and five deep?" asked Mrs.Smith, eyes widened in 
 amazement. 

 "Yes", the photographer said.  "And for more than three 
 hours too.  The mother was constantly squealing and 
 yelling. I could hardly concentrate.  Then darkness 
 approached and I began to rush my shots.  Finally, when 
 the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just 
 packed it all in." 

 Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed 
 on your, eh... equipment ?". 

 "That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up 
 my tripod so that we can get to work." 

 "Tripod??", Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now. 

 "Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on.  It's 
 much too big for me to hold while I'm getting ready for 
 action.  Madam?  Madam?...  Good Lord, she's fainted !!" 

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Subj:     Trooper Stops Farmer
          From: hellgunner50 on 8/21/2004
      and From: tom on 1/29/2008

 A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding,
 and the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his
 speed, and in general began to throw his weight around to
 try to make the farmer uncomfortable.

 Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket,
 and as he was doing that he kept swatting at some flies
 that were buzzing around his head.  The farmer said,
 "Having some problems with circle flies there, are ya?"

 The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said --"Well
 yeah, if that's what they are -- I never heard of circle
 flies."

 So the farmer says -- "Well, circle flies are common on
 farms.  See, they're called circle flies because they're
 almost always found circling around the back end of a
 horse."

 The trooper says, "Oh," and goes back to writing the
 ticket.  Then after a minute he stops and says, "Hey...
 wait a minute, are you trying to call me a horse's ass?"

 The farmer says, "Oh no, officer.  I have too much
 respect for law enforcement and police officers to even
 think about calling you a horse's ass."

 The trooper says, "Well, that's a good thing," and goes
 back to writing the ticket.

 After a long pause, the farmer says, "Hard to fool them
 flies though."

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Subj:     Moonwalker
          From: Internet Joke Archive 
      and From: darrellvip on 1/30/2008

 When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked 
 on the moon, he not only gave his famous "One Small Step 
 for Man, One Giant Leap for Mankind" statement, but followed 
 it by several remarks - usual COM traffic between him, the 
 other astronauts and Mission Control.  Before he re-entered 
 the lander, he made the enigmatic remark "Good luck, Mr. 
 Gorsky."  Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark 
 concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut.  However upon 
 checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or 
 American space programs. 

 Over the years, many people have questioned him as to what 
 the "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky" statement meant but Armstrong 
 never answering.  On July 5, in Tampa Bay, FL, while 
 answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought 
 up the Gorsky quote.  On the 26 of July he finally 
 responded.  It seems that Mr. Gorsky had died and so 
 Armstrong felt he could answer the question. 

 When he was a kid, Neil was playing baseball with his 
 brother in the backyard.  His brother hit a fly ball 
 which landed in front of his neighbors' bedroom window. 
 The neighbors were Mr. and Mrs. Gorksy.  As he leaned down 
 to pick up the ball, he heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at 
 Mr. Gorsky, "Oral sex? Oral sex you want?  You'll get 
 oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!" 

 This urban legend is a fun story, but false, as verified at 
 http://www.snopes.com/quotes/mrgorsky.asp

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Subj:     LOGIC PROBLEM - Which Figure Does Not Belong
          From: Puzzles And Brain Teasers on 1/27/08 
 Source: http://www.apuzzlezone.com/adailypuzzle/brainteasercontest.html
 

 THIS WEEKS CONTEST TEASER "Puzzle #67" 

 Which figure seen on my web site below does not belong
 with the rest?  Click below to see the figures.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/math4b-supp2.html#lp-which_figure

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Calvin and Hobbes from
Bozeman Public Schools

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