Subject: The
Sunday Morning Laughs #577c
Date: 2/24/2008
You can also view old ‘Sunday Morning
Laughs’ at
http://jokelibrary.net/archive/index.html
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Subj: Preacher
Who Looked Like Conway Twitty
From: darrellvip on 1/28/2008
The new Texas preacher was
a dead ringer for Conway Twitty,
the country music singer.
One day he decided to visit some
of the church members who
hadn't been to service lately.
He went to the first lady's
house and knocked on the door.
When she answered the door,
she said, 'Conway Twitty!'
'No ma'am,' he replied. 'I'm
your new pastor, and I came
to have prayer with you.'
So she said come right on in.
He visited several more homes,
and everyone thought he was
Conway Twitty.
Then he came to a young widow
woman's house on the end of
the street. She was
taking a shower at the time, so she
just wrapped a towel around
her and opened the door.
When she saw her caller, she
threw up her hands - which
allowed the towel to fall
to the floor. 'Oh my God!' she
exclaimed. 'It's Conway Twitty!'
And the preacher said...........
'Hello, Darlin!!'
You can listen to Conway Twitty's
'Hello Darlin'
by clicking below.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/religion/c_to_r/preacher-supp-conway4.wav
You can listen to a medley
of Conway Twiddy songs
by clicking below.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/religion/c_to_r/preacher-supp-conway5.mp3
You can visit an excellent
Conway Twitty web site,
by clicking below.
http://die-rock-and-roll-ag.de/html/conway_twitty.html
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Subj: Cute,
Dirty, Campaign Button
From: darrellvip on 1/28/2008
You can view this 2008 campaign
button on my web site
by clicking below.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/polit/polit-supp-button.html
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Subj: Cellphone
Etiquette
From: edapsmas on 1/30/2008
You can view this short, English
type commercial
on my web site by clicking
below.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/n_to_v/phone-supp-etiquette.html
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Subj: Gas
Stations Of Yesteryear
From: darrellvip on 1/28/2008
These thirty-seven pictures
of old gas stations will bring
back memories for us older
folks. Click below to view them.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/cars/stations/stations.html
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Subj: Photo
Of Five Frogs
From: LABLaughsClean on 1/9/2008
Source: http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C20060118
You can see this cute photo
of frogs at the source above,
or on my web site by clicking
below.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/animals/d_to_z/frog-five.html
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Subj: A
Girl Moves In With Her Boyfriend
From: Playboy on the Party Jokes page of Feb. 2008 Issue
A girl moves in with her boyfriend,
whose enormous collection
of old magazines took up
an entire room in the apartment.
"It's me or the magazines,"
she insisted. When he refused
to part with any of them,
the girl stormed out. As she told
her friends - he just had
too many issues.
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Subj: True
Hospital Stories
From: collins2 on 10/14/1999
and From: tom on 1/31/2008
A man comes into the ER and
yells, "My wife's going to have
her baby in the cab!" I grabbed
my stuff, rushed out to the
cab, lifted the lady's dress,
and began to take off her
underwear. Suddenly I noticed
that there were several cabs,
and I was in the wrong one.
Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio,
TX
*********
At the beginning of my shift
I placed a stethoscope on an
elderly and slightly deaf
female patient's anterior chest
wall. "Big breaths," I instructed.
"Yes, they used to be,"
remorsefully replied the
patient.
Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle,
WA
*********
One day I had to be the bearer
of bad news when I told a wife
that her husband had died
of a massive myocardial infarct. Not
more that five minutes later,
I heard her reporting to the rest
of the family that he had
died of a "massive internal fart."
Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba,
Canada
*********
I was performing a complete
physical, including the visual
acuity test. I placed the
patient twenty feet from the chart
and began, "Cover your right
eye with your hand." He read the
20/20 line perfectly.
"Now your left." Again,
a flawless read. "Now both," I
requested. There was
silence. He couldn't even read the
large E on the top line.
I turned and discovered that he had
done exactly what I had asked;
he was standing there with both
his eyes covered. I
was laughing too hard to finish the exam.
Dr. Matthew Theodropolous,
Worcester, MA
*********
A nurses' aide was helping
a patient into the bathroom when
the patient exclaimed, "You're
not coming in here with me. This
is only a one-seater!"
*********
During a patient's two week
follow-up appointment with his
cardiologist, he informed
his doctor that he was having trouble
with one of his medications.
"Which one?", asked the doctor.
"The patch". The nurse
told me to put on a new one every six
hours and now I'm running
out of places to put it!" The doctor
had him quickly undress and
discovered what he hoped he wouldn't
see....Yes, the man had over
fifty patches on his body! Now the
instructions include removal
of the old patch before applying a
new one.
Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk,
VA
*********
While acquainting myself
with a new elderly patient, I asked,
"How long have you been bedridden?"
After a look of complete
confusion she answered, "Why
not for about twenty years-when my
husband was alive."
Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis,
OR
*********
I was caring for a woman
from Kentucky and asked, "So,
how's your breakfast this
morning?"
"It's very good, except for
the Kentucky Jelly. I
can't seem to get used to
the taste," the patient
replied. I then asked
to see the jelly and the woman
produced a foil packet labeled
"KY Jelly."
Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit,
MI
*********
From: JBCARY1 on 11/12/2001
The Surgeon's Note: A young
woman with purple hair styled
into a punk rocker Mohawk,
sporting a variety of tattoos,
and wearing strange clothing,
entered the Emergency Room.
It was quickly determined
that she had acute appendicitis,
so she was scheduled for
immediate surgery. When she was
completely disrobed on the
operating table, the staff
noticed that her pubic hair
had been dyed green and above
it there was a tattoo that
read, "Keep Off The Grass!"
Later, in the recovery room,
she found a note on her
dressing which said "Sorry,
had to mow the lawn."
*********
From: Imogenelumen on 7/13/2003
A new, young MD doing his
residency in OB was quite
embarrassed performing female
pelvic exams. To cover his
embarrassment he had unconsciously
formed a habit of
whistling softly. The
middle aged lady upon whom he was
performing this exam suddenly
burst out laughing and
further embarrassed him.
He looked up from his work and
sheepishly said, "I'm
sorry. Was I tickling you?"
She replied, "No doctor, but
the song you were whistling
was 'I Wish I Was an Oscar
Meyer Wiener'."
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Subj: Other
Bridge Columns
by Phillip Alder
From: The Vallejo Times Herald
This hand dials with playing
a Moysian fit. Click below
to read this column.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/g2/a_bridge_column27.html
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Subj: Interfering
With A 2 Club Opener
From: BridgeClues.com on 1/29/2008
This wonderful web site has
daily problems if you click on
the bidding drop down menu.
Today's hand #2579 is about
interfering with a strong
2 Club opener. Click below to
see this bridge problem.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/g2/a_bridge_column28.html
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