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Subject: The Sunday Morning Laughs #577c
         Date: 2/24/2008

You can also view old ‘Sunday Morning Laughs’ at
http://jokelibrary.net/archive/index.html
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Subj:    Preacher Who Looked Like Conway Twitty
         From: darrellvip on 1/28/2008

 The new Texas preacher was a dead ringer for Conway Twitty, 
 the country music singer.  One day he decided to visit some 
 of the church members who hadn't been to service lately. 

 He went to the first lady's house and knocked on the door. 
 When she answered the door, she said, 'Conway Twitty!' 

 'No ma'am,' he replied. 'I'm your new pastor, and I came 
 to have prayer with you.'  So she said come right on in. 

 He visited several more homes, and everyone thought he was 
 Conway Twitty. 

 Then he came to a young widow woman's house on the end of 
 the street.  She was taking a shower at the time, so she 
 just wrapped a towel around her and opened the door. 

 When she saw her caller, she threw up her hands - which 
 allowed the towel to fall to the floor.  'Oh my God!' she 
 exclaimed. 'It's Conway Twitty!' 

 And the preacher said........... 
  
  
  

 'Hello, Darlin!!'
 
 

 You can listen to Conway Twitty's 'Hello Darlin' 
 by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/religion/c_to_r/preacher-supp-conway4.wav

 You can listen to a medley of Conway Twiddy songs 
 by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/religion/c_to_r/preacher-supp-conway5.mp3

 You can visit an excellent Conway Twitty web site, 
 by clicking below.

 http://die-rock-and-roll-ag.de/html/conway_twitty.html

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Subj:     Cute, Dirty, Campaign Button
          From: darrellvip on 1/28/2008

 You can view this 2008 campaign button on my web site 
 by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/polit/polit-supp-button.html

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Subj:     Cellphone Etiquette
          From: edapsmas on 1/30/2008

 You can view this short, English type commercial 
 on my web site by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/n_to_v/phone-supp-etiquette.html

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Subj:     Gas Stations Of Yesteryear
          From: darrellvip on 1/28/2008

 These thirty-seven pictures of old gas stations will bring 
 back memories for us older folks.  Click below to view them.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/cars/stations/stations.html

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Subj:     Photo Of Five Frogs
          From: LABLaughsClean on 1/9/2008
 Source: http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C20060118

 You can see this cute photo of frogs at the source above, 
 or on my web site by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/animals/d_to_z/frog-five.html

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Subj:     A Girl Moves In With Her Boyfriend
          From: Playboy on the Party Jokes page of Feb. 2008 Issue 

 A girl moves in with her boyfriend, whose enormous collection 
 of old magazines took up an entire room in the apartment. 
 "It's me or the magazines," she insisted.  When he refused 
 to part with any of them, the girl stormed out.  As she told 
 her friends - he just had too many issues.

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Subj:     True Hospital Stories
          From: collins2 on 10/14/1999
      and From: tom on 1/31/2008

 A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have
 her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the
 cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her
 underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs,
 and I was in the wrong one.

 Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX

 *********
 At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an
 elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest
 wall. "Big breaths," I instructed.  "Yes, they used to be,"
 remorsefully replied the patient.

 Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA

 *********
 One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife
 that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct.  Not
 more that five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest
 of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."

 Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada

 *********
 I was performing a complete physical, including the visual
 acuity test. I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart
 and began, "Cover your right eye with your hand."  He read the
 20/20 line perfectly.

 "Now your left."  Again, a flawless read.  "Now both," I
 requested.  There was silence.  He couldn't even read the
 large E on the top line.  I turned and discovered that he had
 done exactly what I had asked; he was standing there with both
 his eyes covered.  I was laughing too hard to finish the exam.

 Dr. Matthew Theodropolous, Worcester, MA

 *********
 A nurses' aide was helping a patient into the bathroom when
 the patient exclaimed, "You're not coming in here with me. This
 is only a one-seater!"

 *********
 During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his
 cardiologist, he informed his doctor that he was having trouble
 with one of his medications. "Which one?", asked the doctor.
 "The patch".  The nurse told me to put on a new one every six
 hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!"  The doctor
 had him quickly undress and discovered what he hoped he wouldn't
 see....Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!  Now the
 instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a
 new one.

 Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA

 *********
 While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked,
 "How long have you been bedridden?"  After a look of complete
 confusion she answered, "Why not for about twenty years-when my
 husband was alive."

 Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR

 *********
 I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, "So,
 how's your breakfast this  morning?"

 "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly.  I
 can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient
 replied.  I then asked to see the jelly and the woman
 produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."

 Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI

  *********
From: JBCARY1 on 11/12/2001
 The Surgeon's Note: A young woman with purple hair styled
 into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos,
 and wearing strange clothing, entered the Emergency Room.
 It was quickly determined that she had acute appendicitis,
 so she was scheduled for immediate surgery.  When she was
 completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff
 noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green and above
 it there was a tattoo that read, "Keep Off The Grass!"

 Later, in the recovery room, she found a note on her
 dressing which said "Sorry, had to mow the lawn."

  *********
From: Imogenelumen on 7/13/2003
 A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite
 embarrassed performing female pelvic exams.  To cover his
 embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of
 whistling softly.  The middle aged lady upon whom he was
 performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and
 further embarrassed him.  He looked up from his work and
 sheepishly said,  "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?"

 She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling
 was 'I Wish I Was an Oscar Meyer Wiener'."

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Subj:     Other Bridge Columns
          by Phillip Alder
          From: The Vallejo Times Herald

 This hand dials with playing a Moysian fit.  Click below
 to read this column.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/g2/a_bridge_column27.html

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Subj:     Interfering With A 2 Club Opener
          From: BridgeClues.com on 1/29/2008

 This wonderful web site has daily problems if you click on 
 the bidding drop down menu.  Today's hand #2579 is about 
 interfering with a strong 2 Club opener.  Click below to
 see this bridge problem.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/g2/a_bridge_column28.html

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Calvin and Hobbes from
GIFMania

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