Subject: The
Sunday Morning Laughs #579c
Date: 3/9/2008
You can also view old ‘Sunday Morning
Laughs’ at
http://jokelibrary.net/archive/index.html
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Subj: 1,000
lbs Liger
From: ginafm on 2/22/2008
At just three years old, Hercules
already weighs half a ton.
His father was a lion and
his mother was a tiger. Hercules
is bigger than both of them.
Click read to read his story.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/animals/a_to_c/big_cats-liger.html
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Subj: The
Ring Of Fire
From: gordonschuk on 2/20/2008
This Johnny Cash song has
been modified to deal with
farting. If you have
reached Middle School humor like
me, you will find it funny.
Click below to view and
listen to it.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/sex/b_to_h/fart-fire.html
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Subj: Two
Couples Swap Partners
From: FrankRoesch on 3/9/00
There were these two middle
aged couples, who were all long
time friends, and who were
always together doing something.
They were sitting around
one evening kind of bored and thinking
of what to do, when one of
the wives, suggested that they switch
partners for the night. They
talked about it, and everyone agreed.
They split up and, off they
went with their new partner for the
night. Later that night,
the wife who made the suggestion, sat
up in bed, and turned to
her new partner and said, "My god! That
was just wonderful, I had
no idea!
We should have thought of
this looong ago! . . . . . . . .
I wonder how the boys are
doing?
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Subj: The
Golden Telephone To Heaven
From: gheckman on 10/27/2001
and From: fischer-j on 2/20/2008
A man in Topeka, Kansas,
decided to write a book about
churches around the country.
He started by flying to
San Francisco, and started
working east from there.
Going to a very large church,
he began taking photographs
and making notes. He
spotted a golden telephone on the
vestibule wall and was intrigued
with a sign which read
"$10,000 a minute."
Seeking out the pastor he asked about
the phone and the sign.
The pastor answered that this
golden phone is,in fact,
a direct line to Heaven and if he
pays the price he can talk
directly to God. The man
thanked the pastor and continued
on his way.
As he continued to visit churches
in Seattle, Austin,
Michigan, Chicago, Milwaukee,
and around the United
States, he found more phones,
with the same sign, and the
same answer from each pastor.
Finally, he arrived in Minnesota.
Upon entering a church
in Minneapolis, Minnesota
behold, he saw the usual golden
telephone. But THIS
time, the sign read "Calls: 25 cents."
Fascinated, he asked to talk
to the pastor. "Reverend, I
have been in cities all across
the country and in each
church I have found this
golden telephone and have been
told it is a direct line
to Heaven and that I could talk
to God, but, in the other
churches the cost was $10,000 a
minute. Your sign reads 25
cents a call. Why?"
The pastor, smiling benignly,
replied, "Son, you're in
Minnesota now, and it's a
local call."
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Subj: Two
Doctors Open Small Town Practice
From: gheckman on 9/21/2002
and From: rfslick on 2/15/2008
Two doctors opened an office
in a small town and put up a
sign reading "Dr. Smith and
Dr. Jones, Psychiatry and
Proctology."
The town council was not too
happy with that sign, so the
doctors changed it to "Hysterias
and Posteriors". This
was not acceptable either,
so in an effort to satisfy the
council, they changed the
sign to "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids."
No go.
Next they tried "Catatonics
and High Colonics." Thumbs down
again. Then came "Manic-depressives
and Anal retentives."
Still not good. How
about "Minds and Behinds"? Unacceptable
again.
Becoming distraught, they
tried "Lost Souls and Ass Holes"
Still no go. Nor did
"Analysis and Anal Cysts," "Nuts and
Butts," "Freaks and
Cheeks," or "Loons and Moons" work either.
Almost at their wit's end,
the doctors finally came up with a
business slogan they thought
might be acceptable to the council,
"Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones
................... Odds and Ends."
Approved.
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Subj: Couple
Argue Near Farm
From: gheckman on 12/19/2001
A couple drove several miles
down a country road, not saying
a word. An earlier
discussion had led to an argument and
neither wanted to concede
their position. As they passed a
barnyard full of mules and
pigs, the husband sarcastically
asked, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
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Subj: Husband
Brings Wife Two Asprin
From: JOKE-OF-THE-DAY.com on 09/17/1999
and From: Imogenelumen on 12/9/2003
A man wakes up his wife during
the night with a glass of
water in one hand and two
aspirins in the other. She says,
"What's this for?"
"This is for your headache,"
he says.
"But I don't have a headache,"
she replies.
He smiles and says, "Gotcha!"
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Subj: Other
Bridge Columns
by Phillip Alder
From: The Vallejo Times Herald
This hand tells when to double
a slam contract.
Click below to read the column.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/g2/a_bridge_column31.html
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Subj: Cue-Bidding
Suits
From: BridgeClues.com on 2/26/2008
This wonderful web site has
daily problems if you click on
the bidding drop down menu.
Today's hand #2648 discusses
what to do when your partner
overcalls a suits. Click
below to see this bridge
problem.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/g2/a_bridge_column32.html
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