Subject: The
Sunday Morning Laughs #573
Date: 4/6/2008
"Men show their characters in nothing
more clearly than in what
they think laughable." Johann
Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)
The best jokes I receive each week
are from you folks.
If you get a good joke please pass
it on to me, I enjoy
a good laugh and it cut down the
work. If you don't get
you Sunday Laughs, or want a back
issue, drop me a note.
I uploaded the 289 new jokes you
sent me during the last
three months to my web site.
You can view these new
jokes plus all the other jokes
you have sent me through
the years at http://jokelibrary.net/a_joke_library.html
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Subj: Letter
From A US Soldier In Iraq
From: hellgunner50 on 3/26/2008
This soldier's letter discusses
the 4,000 soldiers who
died in the Iraq War from
a personal perspective. You
read his letter on my site
by clicking below.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/occupations/sold/supp-letter.html
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Subj: New
Perfume
From: LABLaughsAdult on 3/25/2008
Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yRJiP4f_EU
This YouTube movie is very
funny. You can view it at
the source above, or on my
web site by clicking beloe.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/polit/polit-supp-perfume.html
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Subj: How
Many of Me??
From: ginafm on 3/23/2008
Source: http://www.howmanyofme.com
Go to the above source, and
put in your first and last
name and see how many people
in the USA have your name.
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Subj: Amnesty
Bill
From: hellgunner50 on 3/13/2008
This CNN news article on the
Amnesty Bill going through
Congress is eye opening.
It is hard to believe that the
legislature can be this dumb.
Click below to view it.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/nat/nat-supp-amnesty.html
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Subj: Steal
An Auto, It's Easy
From: Anecdotoff.com on 3/28/2008
Source: http://www.anecdotoff.com/2008/03/03/steal-auto-its-easy.html
Steal an auto? It's
easy! Watch this video and you'll
see how easy you can steal
a car. You can watch it at
the above source, or
on my web site by clicking below.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/cars/cars-supp-steal.html
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Subj: Man
Swims Nude In Lake
From: LABLaughs.com on 2/14/2003
The weather was very hot and
this man wanted desperately to
take a dive in a nearby lake.
He didn't bring his swimming
outfit, but who cared?
He was all alone. So he undressed
and got into the water.
After some delightful minutes
of cool swimming, a pair of
old ladies walked onto the
shore in his direction. He
panicked, got out of the
water and grabbed a bucket lying
in the sand nearby.
He held the bucket in front of his
private area and sighed with
relief.
The ladies got nearby and
looked at him. He felt awkward
and wanted to move. Then
one of the ladies said: 'You know,
I have a special gift, I
can read minds.'
'Impossible', said the embarrassed
man, 'You really know
what I think?'
'Yes', the lady replied, 'Right
now, I bet you think that
the bucket you're holding
has a bottom.'
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Subj: Irishman
And Polack Out Hunting
An Irishman and Polack were
out hunting. From yonder
thicket emerges a fine looking
Irish lass. Taken aback,
the Irishman and Polack are
momentarily nonplussed.
However, quickly recovering
his aplomb, the Irishman speaks:
He: Hey lass, are you
game?
She: (with a wink) Aye!...
And with that, the Polack
shot her.
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Subj: Drivers
Kill Farmer's Chickens
From: Imogenelumen on 8/27/2003
Farmer John lived on a quiet
rural highway. But, as time
went by, the traffic slowly
built up at an alarming rate.
The traffic was so heavy
and so fast that his chickens were
being run over at a rate
of three to six a day.
So one day Farmer John called
the sheriff's office and said,
"You've got to do something
about all of these people driving
so fast and killing all of
my chickens."
What do you want me to do?"
asked the sheriff.
I don't care, just do something
about those crazy drivers!"
So the next day he had the
county workers go out and erected
a sign that said:
SLOW SCHOOL CROSSING
Three days later Farmer John
called the sheriff and said,
"You've got to do something
about these drivers. The 'school
crossing' sign seems to make
them go even faster." So, again,
the sheriff sends out the
county workers and they put up a
new sign
SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY
That really sped them up.
So Farmer John called and called and
called every day for three
weeks. Finally, he asked the
sheriff, "Your signs are
doing no good. Can I put up my own
sign?" The sheriff
told him, "Sure thing, put up your own
sign." He was going
to let the Farmer John do just about
anything in order to get
him to stop calling everyday to
complain.
The sheriff got no more calls
from Farmer John. Three weeks
later, curiosity got the
best of the sheriff and he decided
to give Farmer John a call.
"How's the problem with those
drivers. Did you put
up your sign?" "Oh, I sure did. And
not one chicken has been
killed since then. I've got to go.
I'm very busy." He hung up
the phone.
The sheriff was really curious
now and he thought to himself,
"I'd better go out there
and take a look at that sign... it
might be something that WE
could use to slow down drivers..."
So the sheriff drove out
to Farmer John's house, and his jaw
dropped the moment he saw
the sign. It was spray-painted on
a sheet of wood:
NUDIST COLONY
GO SLOW AND WATCH OUT FOR
THE CHICKS
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Subj: The
Goose Puzzle
Drawing from the book
"More Mathematical Puzzles of Sam Loyd"
Edited by Martin Gardner
From: Dover Publications in 1960
Cut the goose into three pieces
that will fit together
to form an egg of the size
and shape shown. Click below
to see the goose and the
egg.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/yNonJokes/BrainTeasers01.html#goose
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Subj: Math
Prob. - Walking From The Train Station
From: Puzzles And Brain Teasers on 3/25/2008
Source: http://www.apuzzlezone.com/adailypuzzle/03-25-08.html
A man hires a taxi to meet
him at the railroad station at
3pm to take him to an appointment.
He catches an earlier
train and arrives at 2.
He decides to start walking, and
is picked up en route by
the taxi. He arrives twenty
minutes early for his appointment.
How long did he walk?
The solution can be found
on my web site by clicking below.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/m_files/m4bS2-walking.html
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