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Subject: The Sunday Morning Laughs #573
         Date: 4/6/2008
 

"Men show their characters in nothing more clearly than in what
 they think laughable." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)
 

The best jokes I receive each week are from you folks.
If you get a good joke please pass it on to me, I enjoy
a good laugh and it cut down the work.  If you don't get
you Sunday Laughs, or want a back issue, drop me a note.
 

I uploaded the 289 new jokes you sent me during the last
three months to my web site.  You can view these new
jokes plus all the other jokes you have sent me through
the years at http://jokelibrary.net/a_joke_library.html
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Subj:     Letter From A US Soldier In Iraq
          From: hellgunner50 on 3/26/2008

 This soldier's letter discusses the 4,000 soldiers who 
 died in the Iraq War from a personal perspective.  You 
 read his letter on my site by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/occupations/sold/supp-letter.html

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Subj:     New Perfume
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 3/25/2008
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yRJiP4f_EU

 This YouTube movie is very funny.  You can view it at 
 the source above, or on my web site by clicking beloe.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/polit/polit-supp-perfume.html

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Subj:     How Many of Me??
          From: ginafm on 3/23/2008
 Source: http://www.howmanyofme.com

 Go to the above source, and put in your first and last 
 name and see how many people in the USA have your name.

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Subj:     Amnesty Bill
          From: hellgunner50 on 3/13/2008

 This CNN news article on the Amnesty Bill going through 
 Congress is eye opening.  It is hard to believe that the 
 legislature can be this dumb.  Click below to view it.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/nat/nat-supp-amnesty.html

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Subj:     Steal An Auto, It's Easy 
          From: Anecdotoff.com on 3/28/2008
 Source: http://www.anecdotoff.com/2008/03/03/steal-auto-its-easy.html

 Steal an auto?  It's easy!  Watch this video and you'll
 see how easy you can steal a car.  You can watch it at
 the  above source, or on my web site by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/cars/cars-supp-steal.html

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Subj:     Man Swims Nude In Lake
          From: LABLaughs.com on 2/14/2003

 The weather was very hot and this man wanted desperately to
 take a dive in a nearby lake.  He didn't bring his swimming
 outfit, but who cared?  He was all alone.  So he undressed
 and got into the water.

 After some delightful minutes of cool swimming, a pair of
 old ladies walked onto the shore in his direction.  He
 panicked, got out of the water and grabbed a bucket lying
 in the sand nearby.  He held the bucket in front of his
 private area and sighed with relief.

 The ladies got nearby and looked at him.  He felt awkward
 and wanted to move. Then one of the ladies said: 'You know,
 I have a special gift, I can read minds.'

 'Impossible', said the embarrassed man, 'You really know
 what I think?'

 'Yes', the lady replied, 'Right now, I bet you think that
 the bucket you're holding has a bottom.'

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Subj:     Irishman And Polack Out Hunting

 An Irishman and Polack were out hunting.  From yonder 
 thicket emerges a fine looking Irish lass.  Taken aback, 
 the Irishman and Polack are momentarily nonplussed. 

 However, quickly recovering his aplomb, the Irishman speaks: 

 He:  Hey lass, are you game? 

 She: (with a wink) Aye!... 

 And with that, the Polack shot her. 

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Subj:     Drivers Kill Farmer's Chickens
          From: Imogenelumen on 8/27/2003 

 Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway.  But, as time 
 went by, the traffic slowly built up at an alarming rate. 
 The traffic was so heavy and so fast that his chickens were 
 being run over at a rate of three to six a day. 

 So one day Farmer John called the sheriff's office and said, 
 "You've got to do something about all of these people driving 
 so fast and killing all of my chickens." 

 What do you want me to do?" asked the sheriff. 
 I don't care, just do something about those crazy drivers!" 
 So the next day he had the county workers go out and erected 
 a sign that said: 

 SLOW SCHOOL CROSSING 

 Three days later Farmer John called the sheriff and said, 
 "You've got to do something about these drivers.   The 'school 
 crossing' sign seems to make them go even faster." So, again, 
 the sheriff sends out the county workers and they put up a 
 new sign 

 SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY 

 That really sped them up. So Farmer John called and called and 
 called every day for three weeks.  Finally, he asked the 
 sheriff, "Your signs are doing no good.  Can I put up my own 
 sign?"  The sheriff told him, "Sure thing, put up your own 
 sign."  He was going to let the Farmer John do just about 
 anything in order to get him to stop calling everyday to 
 complain. 

 The sheriff got no more calls from Farmer John.  Three weeks 
 later, curiosity got the best of the sheriff and he decided 
 to give Farmer John a call.  "How's the problem with those 
 drivers.  Did you put up your sign?"  "Oh, I sure did.  And 
 not one chicken has been killed since then.  I've got to go. 
 I'm very busy." He hung up the phone. 

 The sheriff was really curious now and he thought to himself, 
 "I'd better go out there and take a look at that sign...  it 
 might be something that WE could use to slow down drivers..." 
 So the sheriff drove out to Farmer John's house, and his jaw 
 dropped the moment he saw the sign.  It was spray-painted on 
 a sheet of wood: 

 NUDIST  COLONY 

 GO SLOW AND WATCH OUT FOR THE CHICKS 

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Subj:     The Goose Puzzle
          Drawing from the book
               "More Mathematical Puzzles of Sam Loyd" 
               Edited by Martin Gardner 
               From: Dover Publications in 1960

 Cut the goose into three pieces that will fit together
 to form an egg of the size and shape shown.  Click below
 to see the goose and the egg.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/yNonJokes/BrainTeasers01.html#goose

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Subj:     Math Prob. - Walking From The Train Station
          From: Puzzles And Brain Teasers on 3/25/2008 
 Source: http://www.apuzzlezone.com/adailypuzzle/03-25-08.html

 A man hires a taxi to meet him at the railroad station at 
 3pm to take him to an appointment.  He catches an earlier 
 train and arrives at 2.  He decides to start walking, and 
 is picked up en route by the taxi.  He arrives twenty 
 minutes early for his appointment.  How long did he walk? 
 

 The solution can be found on my web site by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/m_files/m4bS2-walking.html

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Calvin in School from
Animated GIF Finder

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