Subject: The
Sunday Morning Laughs #587
Date: 5/4/2008
"Men show their characters in nothing
more clearly than in what
they think laughable." Johann
Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)
The best jokes I receive each week
are from you folks.
If you get a good joke please pass
it on to me, I enjoy
a good laugh and it cut down the
work. If you don't get
you Sunday Laughs, or want a back
issue, drop me a note.
Go to http://jokelibrary.net/a_joke_library.html
to read the great jokes you have
sent me through the years.
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Subj: Magic
Cloths
From: darrellvip on 4/20/2008
This magic show on 'America's
Got talent' is amazing. You can
view it on my web site by
clicking below.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/b_to_e/clothing-magic.html
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Subj: When
To Buy A Dog
From: hellgunner50 on 3/8/2005
and From: ginafm on 4/19/2008
To read “When to buy a dog”,
click below.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/animals/d_to_z/dog2-when.html
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Subj: Ball
Control
By Tim Nolan
From: ginafm on 4/20/2008
Source: http://www.snotr.com/embed/612
This movie is a very impressive
demonstration of ball
control. Click on the
above source to view it.
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Subj: Marriage
Before And After
From: tom on 4/19/2008
You can see this cute sign
on my web site by clicking below.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/people/f_mar/m6-before.html
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Subj: 3%
Hydrogen Peroxide
From: tom on 4/19/2008
Source: http://www.snopes.com/medical/homecure/peroxide.asp
Hydrogen peroxide will cure
a variety of ailments.
Click below to read some
of them.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/yNonJokes/b_to_t/facts4-peroxide.html
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Subj: Patients
Die On Friday Morning
From: Scott's Joke Archive on 5/31/97
and From: darrellvip on 4/19/2008
From (Cape Times, South Africa,
6/13/96) "For several months,
our nurses have been baffled
to find a dead patient in the
same bed every Friday morning"
a spokeswoman for the Pelonomi
Hospital (Free State, South
Africa) told reporters. "There
was no apparent cause for
any of the deaths, and extensive
checks on the air conditioning
system, and a search for
possible bacterial infection,
failed to reveal any clues."
"However, further inquiries
have now revealed the cause of
these deaths.
It seems that every Friday
morning a cleaner would enter the
ward, remove the plug that
powered the patient's life support
system, plug her floor polisher
into the vacant socket, then
go about her business.
When she had finished her chores, she
would plug the life support
machine back in and leave, unaware
that the patient was now
dead. She could not, after all, hear
the screams and eventual
death rattle over the whirring of her
polisher.
"We are sorry, and have sent
a strong letter to the cleaner in
question. Further,
the Free State Health and Welfare Department
is arranging for an electrician
to fit an extra socket, so there
should be no repetition of
this incident. The enquiry is now
closed." BTW, the headline
of the newspaper story was, "Cleaner
Polishes Off Patients."
Snopes.com says that this
story is just an urban legend at
http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/cleaner.asp
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Subj: Italian
Buisness School
From: gordonschuk on 4/18/2008
Luigi (father): 'I want you
to marry a girl of my choice.'
Son: 'I will choose my own
bride!!!'
Luigi: 'But the girl is Bill
Gates' daughter..'
Son: 'Well, in that case...
ok'
Next Luigi approaches Bill
Gates.
Luigi: 'I have a husband
for your daughter...'
Bill Gates: 'But my daughter
is too young to marry!!!!!'
Luigi: 'But this young man
is a vice-president of the World Bank'
Bill Gates: 'Ah, in that
case...ok'
Finally Luigi goes to see
the president of the World Bank.
Luigi: 'I have a young man
to be recommended as a vice-president.'
President: 'But I already
have more vice- presidents than I need!'
Luigi: 'But this young man
is Bill Gates' son-in-law.'
President: 'Ah, in that case...ok'
And that, my friends, is how
Italians do business.
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Subj: How
Yodeling Was Invented
From: JokesUncut on 1/22/2003
Have you ever wondered where
and how yodeling began?
California? Oregon? Switzerland?
Most believe it
originated in Switzerland,
but here's the real version.
Many years ago a man was traveling
through the mountains of
Switzerland. Nightfall
was rapidly approaching and he had
nowhere to sleep. He
went up to a farmhouse and asked the
farmer if he could spend
the night. The farmer told him that
he could sleep in the barn.
As the story goes, the farmer's
daughter came down from
upstairs and asked her father,
"Who is that man going into
the barn?"
"That's some fellow traveling
through," said the farmer.
"He needs a place to stay
for the night, so I said he could
sleep in the barn."
The daughter said, "Perhaps
he is hungry." So she prepared
him a plate of food and took
it out to the barn.
About an hour later, the daughter
returned. Her clothing
disheveled and straw in her
hair. Straight up to bed she
went.
The farmer's wife was very
observant. She then suggested
that perhaps the man was
thirsty. So she fetched a bottle
of wine, took it out to the
barn, and she too did not
return for an hour.
Her clothing was askew, her blouse
buttoned incorrectly and
her hair all messed up. She also
headed straight to bed.
The next morning at sunrise
the man in the barn got up and
continued on his journey,
waving to the farmer as he left.
When the daughter awoke and
learned that the visitor was
gone, she broke into tears.
"How could he leave without
even saying goodbye," she
cried. "We made such passionate
love last night!"
"What?" shouted the father
as he angrily ran out of the
house looking for the man,
who by now was halfway up the
mountain. The farmer
screamed up at him, "I'm going to
get you! You had sex with
my daughter!"
The man looked back down from
the mountainside, cupped his
hand next to his mouth, and
yelled out, "LAIDTHEOLADEETOO."
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Subj: Math Prob.
- Trading In The Philippines
From the book
"More Mathematical Puzzles of Sam Loyd"
Edited by Martin Gardner
From: Dover Publications in 1960
I recently came upon an old
travel book that described some of
the primitive methods once
used for conducting business in the
Philippines. The traveling
merchant shown in the picture uses
a balance scale and four
metal rings that serve as weights.
The rings are different weights
and sizes and he carries them
on his arms like bracelets.
With these four rings, the
trader can weigh anything from a
quarter of a pound up to
ten pounds. These weights enable the
trader to get within a quarter
of a pound of any weight within
the limits mentioned.
What are the weights of the
four rings?
You can view this simple,
historic problem, sketch, and solution
on my web site by clicking
below.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/m_files/m4bS2-trading.html
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