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Subject: The Sunday Morning Laughs #588b
         Date: 5/11/2008

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Subj:     Children's Bill Of Rights
          From: flovilla on 3/12/2001 
      and From: Gordonschuk on 4/18/2007

 You can read this cute poem with pictures by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/people/f_kids/k4-rights.html

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Subj:     Tattoo Remover
          From: tom on 4/21/2008

 You can watch this cute movie from Saturday Night Live 
 on my web site by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/n_to_v/tatt-remover.html

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Subj:     We Todd Ed
          From: LABLaughsClean on 4/24/2008
 Source: http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C20050504

 You can see this cute animated sign at the above source, or 
 on my web site by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/people/o_files/hand-supp-I_am.html

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Subj:     Rekindling A Relationship
          From: darrellvip on 4/20/2008 

 Three women: one engaged, one married, and one a mistress, 
 are chatting about their relationships and decide to amaze 
 their men.... that night all three will wear a leather 
 bodice S&M style, stilettos and mask over their eyes 

 After a few days they meet again..... 

 The engaged girlfriend said: 'The other night, when my 
 boyfriend came back home, he found me in the leather bodice, 
 4" stilettos and mask.  He said, 'You are the woman of my 
 life, I love you...then we made love all night long.' 

 The mistress stated: 'Oh Yes!  The other night we met in 
 his office.  I was wearing the leather bodice, mega stilettos, 
 mask over my eyes and a raincoat.  When I opened the raincoat, 
 he didn't say a word.  We just had wild sex all night.' 

 The married one then said: 'The other night I sent the kids 
 to stay at my mother's for the night, I got myself ready, 
 leather bodice, super stilettos and mask over my eyes. 

 My husband came in from work, grabbed the TV controller and 
 a beer, and said, 'Hey Batman, what's for dinner?'

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Subj:     Four Ministers Argue
          From: LABLaughsClean on 4/25/2008 

 The story goes that four ministers had a series of 
 theological arguments, and three were always in accord 
 against the fourth. 

 One day, the odd minister out, after the usual "3 to 1 
 majority rules" statement that signified that he had lost 
 again, decided to appeal to a *higher* authority. 

 "Oh, Lord!" he cried. "I know in my heart that I am right 
 and they are wrong! Please give me a sign to prove it to 
 them!" 

 It was a beautiful, sunny day. As soon as the minister 
 finished his prayer, a storm cloud moved across the sky 
 above the four. It rumbled once and dissolved. 

 "A sign from God! See, I'm right, I knew it!" But the 
 other three disagreed, pointing out that storm clouds 
 form on hot days. 

 So the minister prayed again: 

 "Oh, God, I need a bigger sign to show that I am right 
 and they are wrong. So please, Lord, a bigger sign!" 

 This time four storm clouds appeared, rushed toward each 
 other to form one big cloud, and a bolt of lightning 
 slammed into a tree on a nearby hill. 

 "I told you I was right!" cried the minister, but his 
 friends insisted that nothing had happened that could 
 not be explained by natural causes. 

 The minister was getting ready to ask for a *very big* 
 sign, but just as he said, "Oh God...," the sky turned 
 pitch black, the earth shook, and a deep, booming voice 
 intoned, 

 "HEEEEEEEE'S RIIIIIIIGHT!" 

 The minister put his hands on his hips, turned to the 
 other three, and said, 

 "Well?!" 

 "So," shrugged one of the other ministers, "now it's 3 to 2." 

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Subj:     Jesus On The Cross
          From: Patricia Duvalle (twenty years ago) 

 Jesus is on the cross.  He looks down at the crowd and 
 spotting Peter he calls out "Peter, Peter."  Hearing his 
 master's voice, Peter pushes his way through crowd.  The 
 last one between Peter and his lord is a centurion guard. 
 He tries to push his was past the guard.  The centurion 
 stabs Peter in the side with his spear and thrown him back 
 into the crowd. 

 Jesus again looks out into the crowd.  He spots Peter on 
 the ground bleeding and calls out "Peter, Peter."  Hearing 
 his master's voice, Peter grabs his side to stop the 
 bleeding, stands up and pushes his way through the crowd. 
 He comes face to face with the centurion who stabs him in 
 the other side and tosses him back in the crowd. 

 Jesus looks down on Peter and again says "Peter, Peter." 
 Peter grabs both sides to stop the bleeding, but can not 
 stand up.  He crawled through the crowd and between the 
 legs of the centurion.  Looking up at his master, Peter 
 replied "I am here my Lord.  I have answered your call." 

 Jesus looked down at Peter and then up into the sunset. 
 Looking back down at Peter, Christ said "I can see your 
 house from here." 

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Subj:     Worst Forsome In Golf
          From: gheckman on 12/3/2002
      and From: tom on 4/23/2008

  1. Monica Lewinski
  2. O.J.Simpson
  3. Ted Kennedy
  4. Bill Clinton

  Why you ask?  well......
  1. Monica is a hooker
  2. O.J. is a slicer
  3. Ted can't drive over water, and.....
  4. Bill can't remember which hole he played last.

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Subj:     Jesus Substitutes For St. Peter
          From: Scott's Joke Archive 0n 5/31/97

 The time has come for St. Peter's annual three week
 vacation, and Jesus volunteers to fill in for him at the
 Pearly Gates.  "It's no big deal," St. Peter explains.
 "Sit at the registration desk and ask each person a
 little about his or her life.  Next send them on to
 housekeeping to pick up their wings."

 On the third day, Jesus looks up to see a bewildered old
 man standing in front of him.  "I'm a simple carpenter,"
 says the man, "and once I had a son.  He was born in a
 very special way and was unlike anyone else in this
 world.  He went through a great transformation even
 though he had holes in his hands and feet.  He was taken
 from me a long time ago, but his spirit lives on forever.
 All over the world, people tell his story."

 By this time Jesus is standing with his arms outstretched.
 There are tears in his eyes, and he embraces the old man.
 "Father," he cries out, "it's been so long!"

 The old man squints, stares for a moment, and says,
 "Pinocchio!!!"

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Subj:     Short Jokes That Made Me Laugh Or Smile

From: LABLaughsClean on 4/25/2008

 "We shall not fail or falter.  We shall not weaken or tire.
  Give us the tools and we will finish the job."
    -- Sir Winston Churchill

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Worm from Animated Image © Kitty Roach

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