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Subject: The Sunday Morning Laughs #590
         Date: 5/25/2008
 

 "They say the seeds of what we will do are in all of us,
 but it always seemed to me that in those who make jokes
 in life the seeds are covered with better soil and with
 a higher grade of manure. "  -- Ernest Hemingway
 

Thanks for the great jokes you guys keep sending.  If
I havenít sent out a certain joke for four years, I am
now sending the best ones out a second time.
 

Go to http://jokelibrary.net/a_joke_library.html
to read the great jokes you have sent me through the years.
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Subj:     Life Expectancy Calculator
          By Peter Russell 
          From: edapsmas on 5/8/2008
 Source: http://www.peterrussell.com/Odds/VirtualAge.php

 This program will calculate your life Expectancy.  You 
 can try this cute software at the above source or on 
 my web site by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/yNonJokes/b_to_t/fac1-expectancy.html

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Subj:     Magic Pen
          From: gayleheckman on 4/30/2008
 Source: http://www.bubblebox.com/game/Puzzle/975.htm

 Way back in 1687 Sir Isaac Newton wrote down his famous three 
 laws of motion. Now, centuries later, these three basic rules 
 have finally found their use. 

 You are presented a hands-on experience seeing these basic laws 
 of physics being applied to the shape you have just drawn.  You 
 can combine object with pins and hinges to create machines that 
 come to life as they are affected by gravity. Make clever use 
 of their momentum to reach your goal.

 Try to beat all 26 challenging levels at the above source.
 There is a Video Walkthroughs if you need help.  This is a
 wonderful, educational game.

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Subj:     USS Montana
          From: gordonschuk on 5/2/2008

 This movie is an old classic joke redone as a short movie. 
 To see it on my web site, click below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/n_to_v/ships-montana.html

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Subj:     Dilbert's Comic Strip On Statistics
          By Scott Adams on 5/8/2009 
 Source: http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2008-05-08/

 This cute comic strip about made-up statistics can
 be seen on my web site by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/after_m/stat-dilbert.html

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Subj:     12 Great Kid Photos
          From: tom on 5/8/2008

 You can see these twelve great kid's photos on my 
 web site by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/yyPictures/kids.html

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Subj:     A New Bull At The Farm
          From: darrellvip on 5/9/2008

 A farmer down the road had a fairly large herd of cows and
 three bulls.  Each bull keeping a strict eye on his portion
 of the cows.  A rumour comes around that the farmer is going
 to get another bull and the three bulls are standing in the
 field discussing this.

 The first bull says, "Well, there's no way he's going to get
 any of my cows."

 The second bull agrees, "Yeah, I'm not giving up any.  He can
 wait till next year and get some of the new ones."

 The third bull who was a bit smaller says, "I don't have as
 many as you guys so I'm not giving any up."

 Finally, the new bull arrives.  The first three gather at the
 edge of the field to watch him being unloaded from the trailor.
 To their consternation, the biggest, meanest Brahma bull they
 have ever seen comes strolling down the ramp and glares at them.
 He's at least three times bigger than any of them.

 The first bull looks around nervously and says, "Well now, I
 suppose it would be a neighbourly thing to give this guy some
 cows.  I think I'll give him twenty of mine."

 The second bull says, "Yeah, I guess so, I'll give him thirty of
 mine."

 They look over at the small bull.  He's busy pawing the grass,
 snorting, and shaking his head.  The first bull says "Son, let
 me give you some advice real quick.  Let him have some of your
 cows and live to tell about it."

 The third Bull says "Shoot, he can have ALL my cows.  I'm just
 making sure he knows I'm a bull!"

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Subj:     Bush And Clinton At The Barbershop
          From: JBCARY1 on 1/2/2004
      and From: LABLaughsAdult on 5/6/2008

 G. W. Bush and Bill Clinton somehow ended up at the same
 barbershop.  As they sat there, each being worked on by a
 different barber, not a word was  spoken.

 The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation,
 for fear it would turn to politics.

 As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had
 Clinton in his chair reached for the aftershave.

 Clinton was quick to stop him saying,  "No thanks, my wife
 Hillary will smell that and think I've been in a whorehouse."

 The second barber turned to Bush and said, "How about you?"

 Bush replied, "Go ahead, Laura doesn't know what the inside
 of a whorehouse smells like."

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Subj:     Old Dog Comes By For A Nap
          From: DafterLafter on 9/15/2004
      and From: LABLaughsClean on5/6/2008

 One afternoon, a woman was in her back yard hanging the
 laundry when an old, tired-looking dog wandered into the
 yard. The woman could tell from the dog's collar and
 well-fed belly that he had a home. But when she walked into
 the house, the dog followed her, sauntered down the hall
 and fell asleep in a corner.

 An hour later, he went to the door, and the woman let him
 out.

 The next day the dog was back. He resumed his position in
 the hallway and slept for an hour. This continued for
 several weeks.

 Curious, the woman pinned a note to his collar: "Every
 afternoon, your dog comes to my house for a nap."

 The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his
 collar: "We have ten children. He's trying to catch up on
 his sleep."

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Subj:     Puzzle - Catching A Christmas Turkey
          From the book 
            "More Mathematical Puzzles of Sam Loyd" 
             Edited by Martin Gardner 
             From: Dover Publications in 1960

 Here is a pretty little two player game as well as a puzzle. 
 To see the picture, rules, and solution on my site, click
 below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/m_files/m4c-turkey.html

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Laughing Smiley from
flovilla on 9/23/2005

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