Subject: The
Sunday Morning Laughs #590c
Date: 5/25/2008
You can also view old ‘Sunday Morning
Laughs’ at
http://jokelibrary.net/archive/index.html
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Subj: A
Mother's Day Poem
From: rfslick on 5/11/2008
Your Mother is always with you.
She's the whisper of the
leaves as you walk down the street,
she's the smell of certain foods you remember,
flowers you pick, and perfume that she wore.
She's the cool hand on your
brow when you're not feeling well.
She's your breath
in the air on a cold winter's day.
She is the sound
of the rain that lulls you to sleep,
the colors
of a rainbow, she is Christmas morning.
Your Mother lives inside your laughter.
She is crystallized in every tear drop.
A mother shows every emotion...
happiness, sadness, fear, jealousy, love, hate, anger,
helplessness, excitement, joy, sorrow
...and all the while, hoping and praying you will
only know the good feelings in life.
She's the place you came from, your first home, and
she's the map you follow with every step you take.
She's your first love, your
first friend, even your first enemy,
but nothing on earth can separate you.
Not time, not space.......not even death!
Happy Mothers Day
(Sorry about being two weeks late)
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Subj: Non
Sequitur Comic Strip
By Wiley Miller
From: WashingtonPost on 5/4/2008
Source: http://wpcomics.washingtonpost.com/client/wpc/nq/
You can view this cute comic
strip about 'Milestones in
the Development of Guys'
on my site by clicking below.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/people/f_men/m1-sequitur.html
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Subj: Another
Foolish Trivia
From: The Contra Costa Times on May 5,2008
This is another “Name That
Company” which tells you facts
about a famous company and
asks you to name the company.
Click below to play.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/occupations/b_to_l
/job-stuff-supp-trivia.html#may_5
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Subj: Mother
Goose And Grimm
By Mike Peters
From: Grimmy.com on May 5,2008
Source: http://www.grimmy.com/comics.php
This cute comic strip concerns
schools that teach to the test.
You can view it on my web
site by clicking below.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/after_m/sch1-grimm.html
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Subj: Assistant
Handles The Clinic
From: tom on 5/8/2008
A doctor in Ireland wants
to get off work and go hunting,
so he approaches his assistant.
"Seamus, I am going
hunting tomorrow and don't
want to close the clinic," he
says. "I want you to take
care of the clinic and all me
patients."
"Yes, sir!" answers Seamus.
The doctor goes hunting, returns
the following day and asks,
"So, Seamus, how was your
day?"
Seamus tells him that he took
care of three patients. "The
first one had a headache,
so I gave him Tylenol."
"Bravo, Seamus, and the second
one?" asks the doctor.
"The second one had stomach
burning and I gave him Maalox,
sir," says Seamus.
"Bravo, bravo! You're good
at this. And what about the third
one?" asks the doctor.
"Sir, I was sitting here and
suddenly the door opens and a
woman bursts into the room.
Quick as a wink she undresses
herself, tearing off every
stitch of clothing including her
bra and her panties, and
lies down on the table. She spreads
her legs and shouts, "Help
me, I beg you! It's been five
years since I've seen a man!"
"Thunderin' Lord Jesus, Seamus,
what did you do?" asks the
doctor.
"I put drops in her eyes."
\\\//
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Subj: Two
Spiders Mating In Garden
From: RFSlick on 09/15/2000
and From: JBCARY1 on 2/20/2004
A father watched his young
daughter playing in the garden.
He smiled as he reflected
on how sweet and pure his little
girl was. Tears formed in
his eyes as he thought about her
seeing the wonders.
Suddenly she just stopped
and stared at the ground. He
went over to her to see what
work of God had captured
her attention. He noticed
she was looking at two spiders
mating.
'Daddy, what are those two
spiders doing?' she asked.
'They're mating,' her father
replied.
'What do you call the spider
on top?' she asked.
'That's a Daddy Longlegs,'
her father answered.
'So, the other one is a Mommy
Long legs?' the little
girl asked.
As his heart soared with th
e joy of such a cute and
innocent question he replied
'No dear. Both of them
are Daddy Longlegs.'
The little girl thought for
a moment, then took her foot
and stamped them flat. "Well,
that might be OK in California
but we're not having any
of that shit in our garden."
\\\//
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Subj: High
School Reunion
From: ginafm on 5/4/2008
My wife and I were sitting
at a table at my high school
reunion, and I kept
staring at a drunken lady swigging
her drink as she sat alone
at a nearby table.
My wife asks, "Do you know
her?" "Yes," I sighed, "She's
my old girlfriend.
I understand she took to drinking right
after we split up those many
years ago, and I hear she
hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" says my wife, "Who
would think a person could go
on celebrating that long?"
So, you see, there really
are two ways to look at everything.
\\\//
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Subj: Math
Prob. - Next Number
From: LABLaughsRiddles on 5/8/2008
What comes next in the following
sequence?
1, 1.7321, 2.2361,
2.6458, 3, 3.3166, ???
x
x
x
x
x
Scroll down for the answer
x
x
x
x
x
Here it comes
x
x
x
x
x
3.6056 which is the square
root of 13. The numbers in the
sequence are the square roots
of 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, and 13.
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Subj: Bidding
With A Weak Hand
From: BridgeClues.com on 5/8/2008
This wonderful web site has
daily problems if you click on
the bidding drop down menu.
Today's hand #5208 discusses
bidding over a strong two
clubs. Click below to see this
bridge problem.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/g2/a_bridge_column46.html
\\\//
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Smiley says 'Bye' from
darrell94590 on 9/7/2005 |
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