Subject: The
Sunday Morning Laughs #591
Date: 6/1/2008
"Men show their characters in nothing
more clearly than in what
they think laughable." Johann
Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)
The best jokes I receive each week
are from you folks.
If you get a good joke please pass
it on to me, I enjoy
a good laugh and it cut down the
work. If you don't get
you Sunday Laughs, or want a back
issue, drop me a note.
Go to http://jokelibrary.net/a_joke_library.html
to read the great jokes you have
sent me through the years.
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Subj: The
Magician And The Window
From: darrellvip on 5/12/2008
In this video, the magician,
Criss Angel, walks through
a window. Click below
to view it on my web site.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/occupations/s_to_z/z_oth-glass.html
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Subj: The
Yankee or Dixie Quiz
From: ft.apache on 5/12/2008
Source: http://www.angelfire.com/ak2/intelligencerreport/yankee_dixie_quiz.html
Take this twenty question
quiz on the different American
dialects and you will learn
how southern is your speech.
You can take the quiz at
the above source, or on my web
site by clicking below.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/people/red/south-dixie.html
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Subj: Country
Folk Artist
From: ginafm on 5/14/2008
Richard Carpenter is a poor,
country, folk artist. With
little money he creates art
with natural material like pine
needles. Click below
to see these amazing twelve pictures.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/occupations/art/supp-folk.html
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Subj: The
Four Needs Of A Woman
From: ginafm on 5/14/2008
You can view this cute, short
PowerPoint Show on my
web site by clicking below.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/people/f_women-supp.html#needs
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Subj: Drunk
Insults Biker In Bar
From: Imogenelumen on 12/11/2003
and From: AFine963 on 5/14/2008
A drunken man walks into a
biker bar, sits down at the bar
and orders a drink.
Looking around, he sees 3 men sitting
at a corner table.
He gets up, staggers to the table,
leans over, looks at the
biggest, meanest one in the face
and says, "I went by your
grandma's house today and I saw
her in the hallway buck naked.
Man, she is a fine looking
woman!"
The biker looks at him and
doesn't say a word. His buddies
are confused, because he
is one bad biker, and would fight
at the drop of a hat.
The drunk leans on the table again
and says, "I got it on with
your grandma and she's good,
the best I ever had!"
The biker's buddies are starting
to get really mad, but the
biker still says nothing.
The drunk leans on the table one
more time and says, "I'll
tell you something else, boy,
your grandma liked it!"
At this point the biker stands
up, takes the drunk by the
shoulders and says, "Grandpa,
you're drunk....... Go home!"
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Subj: Wild
Party In Vermont
From: TheBartend on 97-07-15
and From: DoctorDebt on 2/11/2004
Sam has been in the computer
business for 25 years and is
finally sick of the stress.
He quits his job and buys 50
acres of land in Vermont
to be as far from humanity as
possible. Sam sees
the postman once a week, and gets
groceries once a month.
Otherwise, it's total peace and
quiet. After 6 months
or so of almost total isolation,
he's finishing dinner one
day when someone knocks on his
door. He opens it and
there is a big, bearded Vermonter
standing there.
"Name's Enoch... Your neighbor
from four miles over the
ridge... Having a party Saturday...
Thought you'd like
to come."
"Great," says Sam, "after
6 months of this I'm ready to
meet some local folks. Thank
you."
As Enoch is leaving he stops,
"Gotta warn you there's
gonna be some drinkin'."
"Not a problem... After 25
years in the computer business,
I can drink with the best
of 'em."
Again, as he starts to leave
Enoch stops. "More 'n' likely
gonna be some fightin' too."
Damn, Sam thinks... Tough
crowd. "Well, I get along with
people. I'll be there.
Thanks again."
Once again Enoch turns from
the door. "I've seen some wild
sex at these parties, too."
"Now that's not a problem"
says Sam, "Remember I've been
alone for 6 months! I'll
definitely be there... By the
way, what should I wear?"
Enoch stops in the door again
and says, "Whatever you
want, just gonna be the two
of us."
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Subj: What
A Jigsaw Puzzle Taught Me About Life
From: LABLaughsClean on 5/12/2008
Don't force things to fit
together. If it's meant to be,
it will come naturally.
Be sure to look at the big
picture every so often.
Perseverance pays off.
When one spot stops working,
move to another.
Working together with friends
and family makes any task fun.
Establish your boundaries
first.
Take time often to celebrate
little successes.
Anything worth doing takes
time and effort.
When you reach the last piece,
don't be sad. Rejoice in
the masterpiece you've created!
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Subj: New
Orleans 911 Call
From: edapsmas on 5/15/2008
(operator) "911 - What
is your emergency?"
(caller to 911) "My friend
Tyrone just got shot and he
unconscious! We needs an ambulance!"
(operator) "Ok sir, just calm
down now and we'll have
an ambulance on the way. What is the address?"
(caller) "We be at 456 Tchoupitoulas
Screet!"
(operator) "Could you spell
that for me sir?"
(caller) "....... long pause
....... how about if I drags
his ass over to Camp Street and you picks him up there?"
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Subj: Math
Prob. - Find A Four Digit Number
From: Puzzles And Brain Teasers on 5/13/2008
Source: http://www.apuzzlezone.com/adailypuzzle/05-13-08.html
Find a four-digit number,
with four different digits, that
equal to the number formed
by its digits in descending order
minus the number formed by
its digits in ascending order.
The solution can be found
on my web site by clicking below.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/m_files/m4c-four_digits.html
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Subj: Puzzle
- Bicycle Tour
From the book
"Mathematical Puzzles of Sam Loyd"
Edited by Martin Gardner
From: Dover Publications in 1959
Show the route from Philadelphia
to Erie passing once
through all the towns.
Click below to see the map, the
problem’s description, and
its solution.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/m_files/m4c-bicycle.html
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