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Subject: The Sunday Morning Laughs #591
         Date: 6/1/2008
 

"Men show their characters in nothing more clearly than in what
 they think laughable." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)
 

The best jokes I receive each week are from you folks.
If you get a good joke please pass it on to me, I enjoy
a good laugh and it cut down the work.  If you don't get
you Sunday Laughs, or want a back issue, drop me a note.
 

Go to http://jokelibrary.net/a_joke_library.html
to read the great jokes you have sent me through the years.
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Subj:     The Magician And The Window
          From: darrellvip on 5/12/2008

 In this video, the magician, Criss Angel, walks through 
 a window.  Click below to view it on my web site.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/occupations/s_to_z/z_oth-glass.html

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Subj:     The Yankee or Dixie Quiz
          From: ft.apache on 5/12/2008
 Source: http://www.angelfire.com/ak2/intelligencerreport/yankee_dixie_quiz.html

 Take this twenty question quiz on the different American 
 dialects and you will learn how southern is your speech. 
 You can take the quiz at the above source, or on my web 
 site by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/people/red/south-dixie.html

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Subj:     Country Folk Artist
          From: ginafm on 5/14/2008

 Richard Carpenter is a poor, country, folk artist.  With 
 little money he creates art with natural material like pine 
 needles.  Click below to see these amazing twelve pictures.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/occupations/art/supp-folk.html

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Subj:     The Four Needs Of A Woman
          From: ginafm on 5/14/2008

 You can view this cute, short PowerPoint Show on my 
 web site by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/people/f_women-supp.html#needs

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Subj:     Drunk Insults Biker In Bar
          From: Imogenelumen on 12/11/2003 
      and From: AFine963 on 5/14/2008

 A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar 
 and orders a drink.  Looking around, he sees 3 men sitting 
 at a corner table.  He gets up, staggers to the table, 
 leans over, looks at the biggest, meanest one in the face 
 and says, "I went by your grandma's house today and I saw 
 her in the hallway buck naked.  Man, she is a fine looking 
 woman!" 

 The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word.  His buddies 
 are confused, because he is one bad biker, and would fight 
 at the drop of a hat.  The drunk leans on the table again 
 and says, "I got it on with your grandma and she's good, 
 the best I ever had!" 

 The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad, but the 
 biker still says nothing.  The drunk leans on the table one 
 more time and says, "I'll tell you something else, boy, 
 your grandma liked it!" 

 At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the 
 shoulders and says, "Grandpa, you're drunk....... Go home!" 

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Subj:     Wild Party In Vermont
          From: TheBartend on 97-07-15 
      and From: DoctorDebt on 2/11/2004 

 Sam has been in the computer business for 25 years and is 
 finally sick of the stress.  He quits his job and buys 50 
 acres of land in Vermont to be as far from humanity as 
 possible.  Sam sees the postman once a week, and gets 
 groceries once a month.  Otherwise, it's total peace and 
 quiet.  After 6 months or so of almost total isolation, 
 he's finishing dinner one day when someone knocks on his 
 door.  He opens it and there is a big, bearded Vermonter 
 standing there. 

 "Name's Enoch... Your neighbor from four miles over the 
 ridge... Having a party Saturday... Thought you'd like 
 to come." 

 "Great," says Sam, "after 6 months of this I'm ready to 
 meet some local folks. Thank you." 

 As Enoch is leaving he stops, "Gotta warn you there's 
 gonna be some drinkin'." 

 "Not a problem... After 25 years in the computer business, 
 I can drink with the best of 'em." 

 Again, as he starts to leave Enoch stops. "More 'n' likely 
 gonna be some fightin' too." 

 Damn, Sam thinks... Tough crowd. "Well, I get along with 
 people. I'll be there.  Thanks again." 

 Once again Enoch turns from the door. "I've seen some wild 
 sex at these parties, too." 

 "Now that's not a problem" says Sam, "Remember I've been 
 alone for 6 months! I'll definitely be there... By the 
 way, what should I wear?" 

 Enoch stops in the door again and says, "Whatever you 
 want, just gonna be the two of us." 

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Subj:     What A Jigsaw Puzzle Taught Me About Life
          From: LABLaughsClean on 5/12/2008 

 Don't force things to fit together. If it's meant to be, 
 it will come naturally. 

 Be sure to look at the big picture every so often. 

 Perseverance pays off. 

 When one spot stops working, move to another. 

 Working together with friends and family makes any task fun. 

 Establish your boundaries first. 

 Take time often to celebrate little successes. 

 Anything worth doing takes time and effort. 

 When you reach the last piece, don't be sad. Rejoice in 
 the masterpiece you've created! 

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Subj:     New Orleans 911 Call
          From: edapsmas on 5/15/2008

 (operator)  "911 - What is your emergency?" 

 (caller to 911) "My friend Tyrone just got shot and he 
                  unconscious! We needs an ambulance!" 

 (operator) "Ok sir, just calm down now and we'll have 
             an ambulance on the way. What is the address?" 

 (caller) "We be at 456 Tchoupitoulas Screet!" 

 (operator) "Could you spell that for me sir?" 

 (caller) "....... long pause ....... how about if I drags 
          his ass over to Camp Street and you picks him up there?"

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Subj:     Math Prob. - Find A Four Digit Number
          From: Puzzles And Brain Teasers on 5/13/2008 
Source: http://www.apuzzlezone.com/adailypuzzle/05-13-08.html

 Find a four-digit number, with four different digits, that 
 equal to the number formed by its digits in descending order 
 minus the number formed by its digits in ascending order. 

 The solution can be found on my web site by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/m_files/m4c-four_digits.html

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Subj:     Puzzle - Bicycle Tour
          From the book 
            "Mathematical Puzzles of Sam Loyd" 
          Edited by Martin Gardner 
          From: Dover Publications in 1959

 Show the route from Philadelphia to Erie passing once 
 through all the towns.  Click below to see the map, the 
 problemís description, and its solution.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/m_files/m4c-bicycle.html

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Calvin in School from
Animated GIF Finder

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