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Subject: The Sunday Morning Laughs #593b
         Date: 6/15/2008
 

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Subj:     There's No Kissing In Boxing!
          From: sfo_pilot on 6/5/2008

 This is a cute, short, silent movie.  Click below 
 to see it on my site.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/sports/a_to_z/box-kissing.html

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Subj:     36 Hours Cialis Commercial
          From: tom on 6/2/2008

 You can watch this cute, dirty commercial on my web site 
 by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/sex/p_to_s/penis-supp-cialis.html

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Subj:     Track Accidents
          From: tom on 5/25/2008

 You can view this interesting movie on my site by clicking
 below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/sports/a_to_z/track-accidents.html

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Subj:     Seeing Eye Cat
          From: hellgunner50 on 6/2/2008

 You can see this cute picture and story on my web site 
 by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/animals/a_to_c/cats2-eye.html

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Subj:     Square Watermelons 
          From: tom on 5/29/2008

 These three photos are another example of Japanese 
 ingenuity.  Click below to view them.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/f_files/food-supp-melons.html

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Subj:     Beware of Identity Theft
          From: ginafm on 6/3/2008

 You can view these eighteen cute animal photos on my 
 web site by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/animals/d_to_z/rabbit-id.html

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Subj:     90 Year Old Geezer Has Baby
          From: RBishop707 on 97-10-22
      and From: LABLaughsAdult on 6/4/2008

 An 90-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly 
 check-up. 

 When asked how he was feeling, the 86-year-old replied, 
 "Things are just great and I've never felt better.  I now 
 have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child.  
 So what do you think about that Doc?" 

 The Doctor considered his question for a minute and then 
 began to tell a story.  "I have an elderly friend, much 
 like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season.  
 One day he was setting off to go hunting. In a bit of a 
 hurry , he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead 
 of his gun.  As he neared a lake, he came across a very 
 large male beaver sitting at the water's edge.  He 
 realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't 
 shoot the magnificent creature.  Out of habit he raised 
 his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it were his 
 favorite hunting rifle and went 'Bang Bang'." 

 "Incredibly, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over 
 dead.  Now, what do you think of that?' asked the Doctor. 

 The 86-year-old thought for a minute and said, "Logic would 
 strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a couple of 
 rounds into that beaver." 

 The Doctor replied, "My point exactly." 

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Subj:     Underwear Dust
          From: jbcary1 on 5/28/2008 

 One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to 
 his wife 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 
 Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!' 

 His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't 
 let such a comment go un-rewarded. 

 The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of 
 his drawer.  'What the Heck is this??' he said to himself as 
 a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out.  'April,' 
 he hollered into the bathroom, 'why did you put talcum powder 
 in my underwear?' 

 She replied ...'It's not talcum powder......It's 'Miracle Grow'

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Subj:     Grandfather And Kid Go To Cabin
          From: gordonschuk on 5/24/2008 

 When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, 
 we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from 
 attracting pesky insects.  Still, a few fireflies followed 
 us in.  Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, 'It's 
 no use, Grandpa.  The mosquitoes are coming after us with 
 flashlights.'

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Subj:     Shepherd Makes A Bet
          From: WSelwa on 10/30/2000 
      and From: Imogenelumen on 3/8/2004

 A Shepherd knows his sheep..... 

 A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when 
 suddenly a brand-new BMW X5 advanced out of a dust cloud 
 towards him. The driver, a young man in a Broni suit, Gucci 
 shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window 
 and asks the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many 
 sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?" 

 The shepherd looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then 
 looks at his peacefully grazing flock and calmly answers: 
 "Sure. Why not?"  The yuppie parks his car, whips out his 
 Dell notebook computer.  He connects it to his AT&T cell 
 phone, surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls 
 up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on 
 his location.  He feeds it to another NASA satellite that 
 scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. 

 Then the young man opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop 
 and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, 
 Germany.  Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm 
 Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. 
 He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected 
 Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulas.  He 
 uploads all of this data via an email on his Blackberry and, 
 after a few minutes, receives a response. 

 Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his 
 hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and turns to the 
 shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1586 sheep." 

 That's right.  Well, I guess you can take one of my sheep," 
 says the hepherd.  He watches the young man select one of 
 the animals and looks on amused as the young man begins to 
 stuff it into the trunk of his car. 

 Then the shepherd says to the young man: "Hey, if I can tell 
 you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my 
 sheep?"  The young man thinks for a second and then says, 
 "Okay, why not?" 

 "You're a consultant," says the shepherd. 

 "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you 
 guess that?" 

 "No guessing required," answered the shepherd. "You showed 
 up here even though nobody called you; you want to get 
 paid for an answer I already knew; to a question I never 
 asked; and you know nothing about my business.  Now give 
 me back my dog."

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Subj:     Short Jokes That Made Me Laugh Or Smile

From: LABLaughsClean on 6/3/2008

 "Age wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul." 
    -- Douglas MacArthur

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Calvin and Hobbes from
GIFMania

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