Subject: The
Sunday Morning Laughs #593c
Date: 6/15/2008
You can also view old ‘Sunday Morning
Laughs’ at
http://jokelibrary.net/archive/index.html
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Subj: Grand
Canyon Photographer
From: tom on 5/29/2008
These four, scary photos are
worth the trip to the internet.
Click below to see this really
dumb photographer.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/occupations/s_to_z/z_oth-canyon.html
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Subj: A
Very Stupid Sign
From: LABLaughsClean on 5/30/2008
Source: http://www.buffaloschips.com/41201.htm
This internet page is NOT
worth seeing. But if you can't
resist, you can see it at
the above source, or on my web
site by clicking below.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/words/q_to_w/signs-supp-stupid.html
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Subj: 1902
- 2002
From: coreymac on 11/26/2002
and From: tom on 6/1/2008
The year is 1902, one hundred
years ago. What a difference
a century makes. Here
are the US statistics for 1902.
1. The average life expectancy
in the US was forty-seven (47).
2. Only 14 Percent of the
homes in the US had a bathtub.
3. Only 8 percent of the
homes had a telephone. A three-
minute
call from Denver to New York City cost eleven dollars.
4. There were only 8,000
cars in the US and only 144 miles
of pave
roads.
5. The maximum speed limit
in most cities was 10 mph.
6. Alabama, Mississippi,
Iowa, and Tennessee were each more
heavily
populated than California. With a mere 1.4
million
residents, California was only the 21st most
populous
state in the Union.
7. The tallest structure
in the world was the Eiffel Tower.
8. The average wage in the
US was 22 cents an hour.
9. The average US worker
made between $200 and $400 per year.
10. A competent accountant
could expect to earn $2000 per
year,
a dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between
$1,500
and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer
about
$5,000 per year.
11. More than 95 percent
of all births in the US took place
at home.
12. Ninety percent of all
US physicians had no college
education.
Instead, they attended medical schools,
many of
which were condemned in the press and by the
government
as "substandard."
13. Sugar cost four cents
a pound. Eggs were fourteen
cents
a dozen. Coffee cost fifteen cents a pound.
14. Most women only washed
their hair once a month and
they used
borax or egg yolks for shampoo.
15. Canada passed a law prohibiting
poor people from
entering
the country for any reason.
16. The five leading causes
of death in the US were:
A. Pneumonia
and influenza
B. Tuberculosis
C. Diarrhea
D. Heart
disease
E. Stroke
17. The American flag had
45 stars. Arizona, Oklahoma,
New Mexico,
Hawaii and Alaska hadn't been admitted
to the
Union yet.
18. The population of Las
Vegas, Nevada was 60.
19. Crossword puzzles, canned
beer, and iced tea hadn't
been invented.
20. There were no Mother's
Day or Father's Day.
21. One in ten US adults
couldn't read or write. Only 6
percent
of all Americans had graduated from high school.
22. Marijuana, heroin, and
morphine were all available over
the counter
at corner drugstores. According to one
pharmacist,
"Heroin clears the complexion, gives
buoyancy
to the mind, regulates the stomach and the
bowels,
and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health."
23. Eighteen percent of households
in the US had at least
one full-time
servant or domestic.
24. There were only about
230 reported murders in the entire US!
25. Oh, oh, oh, and the PLEDGE
OF ALLEGIANCE WAS CONSTITUTIONAL,
THANK
YOU VERY MUCH.
Try to imagine what it may
be like in another 100 years
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Subj: Father's
Day Tribute
From: mbucher on 6/16/2002
Paul Harvey's Annual Father's
Day Tribute
A father is a thing that is
forced to endure childbirth
without an anesthetic.
A father never feels entirely
worthy of the worship in
a child's eyes. He's never
quite the hero his daughter
thinks he is, never quite
the man his son believes
him to be -- and this worries
him, sometimes.
So he works too hard to try
to smooth the rough places
in the road for those of
his own who will follow him.
A father is a thing that
gets very angry when school
grades aren't as good as
he thinks they should be. He
scolds his son though he
knows it's the teacher's fault.
Fathers give daughters away
to other men who aren't
nearly good enough so they
can have grandchildren who
are smarter than anybody's.
Fathers make bets with insurance
companies about who
will live the longest.
Though they know the odds, they
keep right on betting.
And one day they lose.
I don't know where a father
goes when he dies. But I've
an idea that after a good
rest, wherever it is, he won't
be happy unless there's work
to do.
He won't just sit on a cloud
and wait for the girl he's
loved and the children she
bore. He'll be busy there,
too, repairing the stairs,
oiling the gates, improving
the streets, smoothing the
way.
-Paul Harvey
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Subj: Male-Bashing
Humor Chain Letter
From: gheckman on 04/04/2000
and From: ginafm on 5/30/2008
Finally a chain letter worth
sending!
This chain letter was started
in hopes of bringing relief to
other tired and discouraged
women. Unlike most chain letters,
this one does not cost anything.
Just send a copy of this letter
to five of your friends who
are equally tired and discontented.
Then bundle up your
husband or boyfriend and
send him to the woman whose name
appears at the top of the
list, and add your name to the
bottom of the list.
When your turn comes, you
will receive 15,625 men. One of
them is bound to be better
than the one you already have.
At the writing of this letter,
a friend of mine had already
received 184 men, 4 of whom
were worth keeping.
REMEMBER----this chain brings
luck. One woman's pit bull
died, and the next day she
received an NFL offensive tackle.
An unmarried Jewish woman
living with her widowed mother was
able to choose between an
orthodontist and a successful
gynecologist.
You can be lucky too, but
DO NOT BREAK THE CHAIN! One woman
broke the chain, and got
her own husband back again.
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Subj: Aluminum
Foil Box
From: jbcary1 on 5/28/2008
This is good one! I
can't even believe it! We learn
something new everyday!
I had to go into the kitchen and
check this out for myself.
Who ever looks at the end of
your aluminum foil box?
What a fantastic idea. Now, if
someone would just make plastic
wrap that didn't stick to
itself.
I've been using aluminum foil
for more years than I care to
remember. Great stuff,
but sometimes it can be a pain. You
know, like when you are in
the middle of doing something and
you try to pull some foil
out and the roll comes out of the
box. Then you have
to put the roll back in the box and start
over. The darn roll always
comes out at the wrong time.
Well, I would like to share
this with you. Yesterday I went
to throw out an empty Reynolds
foil box and for some reason I
turned it and looked at the
end of the box. And written on
the end it said, Press here
to lock end. Right there on the
end of the box is a tab to
lock the roll in place. How long
has this little locking tab
been there? I then looked at a
generic brand of aluminum
foil and it had one, too. I then
looked at a box of Saran
wrap and it had one too! I can't
count the number of times
the Saran wrap roll has jumped out
when I was trying to cover
something up.
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Subj: The
Balance-of-Power Double
From: BridgeClues.com on 5/31/2008
This wonderful web site has
daily problems if you click on
the bidding drop down menu.
Today's hand #2040 discusses
the Balance-of-Power Double.
Click below to see this bridge
problem.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/g2/a_bridge_column49.html
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