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Subject: The Sunday Morning Laughs #594
         Date: 6/22/2008
 

"He who laughs, lasts."
    -- Mary Pettibone Poole
 

The best jokes I receive each week are from you folks.
If you get a good joke please pass it on to me, I enjoy
a good laugh and it cut down the work.  If you don't get
you Sunday Laughs, or want a back issue, drop me a note.
 

Go to http://jokelibrary.net/a_joke_library.html
to read the great jokes you have sent me through the years.
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Subj:     Grand Canyon Photographer
          From: tom on 5/29/2008

 Regarding the four pictures and article of a crazy photographer
 who risked his life for a great photo of the Grand Canyon,
 Chris wrote and explained that the four photos were real, 
 but the whole thing was a fake and that I should have 
 checked it at www.Snopes.com.  You can see how the pictures 
 were staged at the bottom of the attached web page by clicking
 below.

 Thank you Chris for catching my error.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/occupations/s_to_z/z_oth-canyon.html#fake

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Subj:     Understanding Women -- The 9 Phrases
          From: ginafm on 6/8/2008
 Source: http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1283443/understanding_women/

 This movie shows how little men understand women.  You can 
 view it at the above source, or on my site by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/people/f_wom/w-supp-understanding.html

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Subj:     If I Was A Terrorist
          From: LABLaughsClean on 5/29/2008 
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtnixcSi2c8

 This James Pense video is thought provoking and scary. 
 You can view it at the above source, or on my web site 
 by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/nat/nat-supp-terrorist.html

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Subj:     Top Ten Smartest and Dumbest Dog Breeds
          From: ginafm on 6/9/2008
 Source: http://cbs2chicago.com/slideshows/smartest.dumbest.dogs.20.696673.html

 How smart is your dog?  Is he one of the ten smartest breeds? 
 Go to the above source and learn CBS's "Early Show" rating 
 of dogs.

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Subj:     Bull Auction
          From: humorlist-digest V2 #274 on 98-11-22 
      and From: JOKE-OF-THE-DAY.com on 6/14/99 

 This couple goes to an agricultural show way out in the 
 countryside a fine Sunday afternoon, & are watching the 
 auctioning off of bulls.  The guy selling the bulls 
 announces the first bull to be auctioned off: "A fine 
 specimen, this bull reproduced 60 times last year." 

 The wife nudges her husband in the ribs, & comments, 
 "See!  That was more than 5 times a month!"  The second 
 bull is to be sold: "Another fine specimen, this wonder 
 reproduced 120 times last year." 

 Again the wife bugs her husband, "Hey, that's some 10 
 times a month.  What do YOU say to that?!"  Her husband 
 is getting really annoyed with this comparison.  The 
 third bull is up for sale: "And this extraordinary 
 specimen reproduced 365 times last year!" 

 The wife slaps her husband on the arm and yells, "That's 
 once a day, every day of the year!  How about YOU?!" 

 The husband was pretty irritated by now, & yells back, 
 "Sure, once a day!...  But ask the auctioneer if they 
 were all with the same cow!!!" 

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Subj:     Teenagers and Cats
          From: LABLaughsClean on 6/9/2008 

 For all of you with teenagers or who had teenagers, you may 
 want to know why they really have a lot in common with cats: 

 1. Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you 
 call them by name. 

 2. No matter what you do for them, it is not enough. Indeed, 
 all humane efforts are barely adequate to compensate for 
 the privilege of waiting on them hand and foot. 

 3. You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an 
 adult human being, and it can be safely said that no teenager 
 in his or her right mind wants to be seen in public with his 
 or her parents. 

 4. Even if you tell jokes as well as Jay Leno, neither your 
 cat nor you teen will ever crack a smile. 

 5. No cat or teenager shares your taste in music. 

 6. Cats and teenagers can lie on the living-room sofa for 
 hours on end without moving, barely breathing. 

 7. Cats have nine lives. Teenagers carry on as if they did. 

 8. Cats and teenagers yawn in exactly the same manner, nmm, 
 communicating that ultimate human ecstasy -- a sense of 
 complete and utter boredom. 

 9. Cats and teenagers do not improve anyone's furniture. 

 10. Cats that are free to roam outside sometimes have been 
 known to return in the middle of the night to deposit a 
 dead animal in your bedroom. 

 Teenagers are not above that sort of behavior. Thus, if 
 you must raise teenagers, the best sources of advice are 
 not other parents, but veterinarians. It is also a good 
 idea to keep a guidebook on cats at hand at all times. 
 And remember, above all else, put out the food and do 
 not make any sudden moves in their direction. 

 When they make up their minds, they will finally come to 
 you for some affect ion and comfort, and it will be a 
 triumphant moment for all concerned. 

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Subj:     Two Boys Discuss Satin
          From: lauracollins07 on 6/6/2008

 Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing 
 a strong preaching on the devil.  One said to the other, 
 'What do you think about all this Satan stuff?' 

 The other boy replied, 'Well, you know how Santa Claus 
 turned out.  It's probably just your Dad.'

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Subj:     Sex With A Nymphomaniac
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 6/11/2008 

 Jon was looking for a little "action." He picked up a sweet 
 young thing at the bar and took her back to his hotel room. 

 Little did he know that she was darn near a nymphomaniac. 
 After six times having sex, she was screaming for more. 
 After the eighth time, Jon told her that he needed to slip 
 out for a pack of cigarettes. 

 On the way out, he stopped into the men's room.  He stood 
 in front of the urinal, unzipped his pants, and felt a 
 moment of panic when he couldn't find his tool. 

 After a couple of minutes fishing around, he finally said, 
 "Look, it's okay.  She's not here!" 

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Subj:     Math Prob. - Party Favors
          From: Puzzles And Brain Teasers on 6/5/2008 
 Source: http://www.apuzzlezone.com/adailypuzzle/06-06-08.html

 Sheila, buying favors for a party she was giving, was 
 having difficulty deciding on how many more favors to buy. 
 She started out by planning to give everyone three favors, 
 but when she divided the favors she had by 3, she had one 
 left over; when she divided by 4, she had two left over; 
 by 5, she had three left over; and by 6, she had four left 
 over.  Since she was going to have ten guests, this would 
 not work.  She counted the favors and realized that, by 
 adding two more, she could divide the favors evenly.  What 
 is the smallest number of favors she could already have 
 bought to meet those specifications? 

 The solution can be found on my web site by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/m_files/m4c-favors.html

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Subj:     Puzzle - Greek Symbol
          From the book 
            "Mathematical Puzzles of Sam Loyd" 
            Edited by Martin Gardner 
            From: Dover Publications in 1959

 Draw the Greek symbol with a continuous line, making the 
 fewest possible turns.  Click below to see the picture, 
 the problem's description, and its solution.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/m_files/m4c-greek.html

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Laughing Smiley from
flovilla on 9/23/2005

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