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Subject: The Sunday Morning Laughs #596
         Date: 7/6/2008
 

"Men show their characters in nothing more clearly than in what
 they think laughable." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)
 

The best jokes I receive each week are from you folks.
If you get a good joke please pass it on to me, I enjoy
a good laugh and it cut down the work.  If you don't get
you Sunday Laughs, or want a back issue, drop me a note.
 

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I uploaded the 317 new jokes you sent me during the last
three months to my web site.  You can view these new
jokes plus all the other jokes you have sent me through
the years at http://jokelibrary.net/a_joke_library.html

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Subj:     Be Careful Where You Parasurf
          From: LABLaughsClean on 6/17/2008
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJ8m4OJknK0

 You can view this video is amazing and scary at the 
 above source, or on my web site by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/sports/a_to_z/z_other-parasurf.html

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Subj:     The Duck And The Dog
          From: LABLaughsClean on 6/19/2008
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzyJdo5CLpI?feature=user

 This movie is very cute.  Click below to view it.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/animals/birds/ducks-dog.html

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Subj:     The Good Fairy And The Small Dick
          From: rfslick on 6/19/2008

 You can view this cute, dirty comic strip on my web site 
 by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/people/a_files/gen-dick.html

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Subj:     Another Foolish Trivia
          From: Philadelphia Inquirer on Jan. 22,2008

 This is another “Name That Company” which tells you facts
 about a famous company and asks you to name the company.
 Click below to play.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/occupations/b_to_l/job-stuff-supp-trivia.html#old01

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Subj:     A Dirty Riddle
          From: LABLaughsClean on 6/15/2008 

 To make it stand, 
 You wet it ! 

 To make it wet, 
 You suck it ! 

 To make it stiff, 
 You lick it ! 

 To get it in, 
 You push it! 

 Damn ! 

 Threading a needle when you're older is a BITCH! 

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Subj:     Anti-Stress
          From: LABLaughsClean on 6/19/2008 

 That we live in an extremely stressful environment is 
 abundantly evident.  However, stress is nothing new - 
 it's been around since the beginning. Robert Louis 
 Stevenson made these suggestions over 100 years ago: 
 1.  Make up your mind to be happy - learn to find 
     pleasure in simple things. 
 2.  Make the best of circumstances.  No one has 
     everythingand everyone has something of sorrow. 
 3.  Don't take yourself too seriously. 
 4.  Don't let criticism worry you - you can't please 
     everybody. 
 5.  Don't let your neighbors set your standards - be 
     yourself. 
 6.  Do things you enjoy doing but stay out of debt. 
 7.  Don't borrow trouble. Imaginary things are 
     harder to bear than actual ones. 
 8.  Since hate poisons the soul, don't cherish enmities 
     and grudges. Avoid people who make you unhappy. 
 9.  Have many interests. If you can't travel, read 
     about places. 
 10. Don't hold post-mortems or spend time brooding 
     over sorrows and mistakes. 
 11. Don't be the one who never gets over things. 
 12. Keep busy at something. A very busy person never has 
     time to be unhappy.  Times haven't changed - relax:-))

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Subj:     Daffy-nitions
          From: darrellvip on 6/19/2008 

 ADULT: 
 A person who has stopped growing at both ends and 
 is now growing in the middle. 

 BEAUTY PARLOR: 
 A place where women curl up and dye. 

 CANNIBAL: 
 Someone who is fed up with people. 

 CHICKENS: 
 The only animals you eat before they are born and 
 after they are dead. 

 COMMITTEE: 
 A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours. 

 DUST: 
 Mud with the juice squeezed out. 

 EGOTIST: 
 Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation. 

 HANDKERCHIEF: 
 Cold Storage. 

 INFLATION: 
 Cutting money in half without damaging the paper. 

 MOSQUITO: 
 An insect that makes you like flies better. 

 RAISIN: 
 Grape with a sunburn. 

 SECRET: 
 Something you tell to one person at a time. 

 SKELETON: 
 A bunch of bones with the person scraped off. 

 TOOTHACHE: 
 The pain that drives you to extraction. 

 TOMORROW: 
 One of the greatest labor saving devices of today. 

 YAWN: 
 An honest opinion openly expressed. 

 and MY Personal Favorite!! 

 WRINKLES: 
 Something other people have, similar to my character lines.

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Subj:     Flowers And Funerals - Poem
          From: LABLaughsClean on 6/19/2008 

 Bring Me All The Flowers Today. 

 I would rather have a LITTLE ROSE 
 from the garden of a friend 
 Than flowers strewn around my casket 
 When my days on earth must end. 

 I would rather have a LIVING SMILE 
 From one I know is true 
 Than tears shed around my casket 
 When this world I bid adieu 

 Bring me all the flowers TODAY 
 Whether pink, or white, or red, 
 I would rather have ONE BLOSSOM NOW 
 Than a truckload when I am dead!!

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Subj:     Math Prob. - 10 Digit Number
          From: LABLaughsRiddle on 6/17/2008 

 There's a certain 10-digit number where that the first 
 digit is equal to the number of zeros in the entire number, 
 the second number is the number of 1's in the entire 
 number, and so on, to where the 10th digit is the number 
 of 9's in the entire number.  What is the number?

 Click below to see the answer.

 http://jokelibrary.net/education/math4c.html#mp-10_digit_number

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Subj:     Puzzle - The Hidden Star
             From the book 
             "Mathematical Puzzles of Sam Loyd" 
              Edited by Martin Gardner 
              From: Dover Publications in 1959

 Can you find a perfect five-pointed star in the above pattern. 
 Click below to see the picture, and its solution.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/m_files/m4c-star.html

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