Subject: The
Sunday Morning Laughs #596
Date: 7/6/2008
"Men show their characters in nothing
more clearly than in what
they think laughable." Johann
Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)
The best jokes I receive each week
are from you folks.
If you get a good joke please pass
it on to me, I enjoy
a good laugh and it cut down the
work. If you don't get
you Sunday Laughs, or want a back
issue, drop me a note.
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I uploaded the 317 new jokes you
sent me during the last
three months to my web site.
You can view these new
jokes plus all the other jokes
you have sent me through
the years at http://jokelibrary.net/a_joke_library.html
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Subj: Be
Careful Where You Parasurf
From: LABLaughsClean on 6/17/2008
Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJ8m4OJknK0
You can view this video is
amazing and scary at the
above source, or on my web
site by clicking below.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/sports/a_to_z/z_other-parasurf.html
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Subj: The
Duck And The Dog
From: LABLaughsClean on 6/19/2008
Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzyJdo5CLpI?feature=user
This movie is very cute.
Click below to view it.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/animals/birds/ducks-dog.html
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Subj: The
Good Fairy And The Small Dick
From: rfslick on 6/19/2008
You can view this cute, dirty
comic strip on my web site
by clicking below.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/people/a_files/gen-dick.html
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Subj: Another
Foolish Trivia
From: Philadelphia Inquirer on Jan. 22,2008
This is another “Name That
Company” which tells you facts
about a famous company and
asks you to name the company.
Click below to play.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/occupations/b_to_l/job-stuff-supp-trivia.html#old01
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Subj: A
Dirty Riddle
From: LABLaughsClean on 6/15/2008
To make it stand,
You wet it !
To make it wet,
You suck it !
To make it stiff,
You lick it !
To get it in,
You push it!
Damn !
Threading a needle when you're
older is a BITCH!
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Subj: Anti-Stress
From: LABLaughsClean on 6/19/2008
That we live in an extremely
stressful environment is
abundantly evident.
However, stress is nothing new -
it's been around since the
beginning. Robert Louis
Stevenson made these suggestions
over 100 years ago:
1. Make up your mind
to be happy - learn to find
pleasure
in simple things.
2. Make the best of
circumstances. No one has
everythingand
everyone has something of sorrow.
3. Don't take yourself
too seriously.
4. Don't let criticism
worry you - you can't please
everybody.
5. Don't let your neighbors
set your standards - be
yourself.
6. Do things you enjoy
doing but stay out of debt.
7. Don't borrow trouble.
Imaginary things are
harder
to bear than actual ones.
8. Since hate poisons
the soul, don't cherish enmities
and grudges.
Avoid people who make you unhappy.
9. Have many interests.
If you can't travel, read
about
places.
10. Don't hold post-mortems
or spend time brooding
over sorrows
and mistakes.
11. Don't be the one who
never gets over things.
12. Keep busy at something.
A very busy person never has
time to
be unhappy. Times haven't changed - relax:-))
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Subj: Daffy-nitions
From: darrellvip on 6/19/2008
ADULT:
A person who has stopped
growing at both ends and
is now growing in the middle.
BEAUTY PARLOR:
A place where women curl
up and dye.
CANNIBAL:
Someone who is fed up with
people.
CHICKENS:
The only animals you eat
before they are born and
after they are dead.
COMMITTEE:
A body that keeps minutes
and wastes hours.
DUST:
Mud with the juice squeezed
out.
EGOTIST:
Someone who is usually me-deep
in conversation.
HANDKERCHIEF:
Cold Storage.
INFLATION:
Cutting money in half without
damaging the paper.
MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you
like flies better.
RAISIN:
Grape with a sunburn.
SECRET:
Something you tell to one
person at a time.
SKELETON:
A bunch of bones with the
person scraped off.
TOOTHACHE:
The pain that drives you
to extraction.
TOMORROW:
One of the greatest labor
saving devices of today.
YAWN:
An honest opinion openly
expressed.
and MY Personal Favorite!!
WRINKLES:
Something other people have,
similar to my character lines.
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Subj: Flowers
And Funerals - Poem
From: LABLaughsClean on 6/19/2008
Bring Me All The Flowers Today.
I would rather have a LITTLE
ROSE
from the garden of a friend
Than flowers strewn around
my casket
When my days on earth must
end.
I would rather have a LIVING
SMILE
From one I know is true
Than tears shed around my
casket
When this world I bid adieu
Bring me all the flowers TODAY
Whether pink, or white, or
red,
I would rather have ONE BLOSSOM
NOW
Than a truckload when I am
dead!!
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Subj: Math
Prob. - 10 Digit Number
From: LABLaughsRiddle on 6/17/2008
There's a certain 10-digit
number where that the first
digit is equal to the number
of zeros in the entire number,
the second number is the
number of 1's in the entire
number, and so on, to where
the 10th digit is the number
of 9's in the entire number.
What is the number?
Click below to see the answer.
http://jokelibrary.net/education/math4c.html#mp-10_digit_number
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Subj: Puzzle
- The Hidden Star
From the book
"Mathematical Puzzles of Sam Loyd"
Edited by Martin Gardner
From: Dover Publications in 1959
Can you find a perfect five-pointed
star in the above pattern.
Click below to see the picture,
and its solution.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/m_files/m4c-star.html
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