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Subject: The Sunday Morning Laughs #598
         Date: 7/20/2008
 

"He who laughs, lasts."
    -- Mary Pettibone Poole
 

The best jokes I receive each week are from you folks.
If you get a good joke please pass it on to me, I enjoy
a good laugh and it cut down the work.  If you don't get
you Sunday Laughs, or want a back issue, drop me a note.
 

Go to http://jokelibrary.net/a_joke_library.html
to read the great jokes you have sent me through the years.
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Subj:     The Ballgirl Video Is A Fake (S598) 
          From: Chris on 7/12/2008

 In last weeks 'Sunday Morning Laughs - S597c' a great
 video of the ballgirl making a spectacular catch was
 included.  The video is fake footage.  The footage is
 a shelved commercial for Gatorade sports drink.  Gatorade
 ended its association with the agency that created the
 ad, Element 79, shortly after the video was completed
 and shelved the campaign. 

 "We were not planning to release the ball girl video," 
 [Gatorade spokeswoman Jill] Kinney said.  "However, now 
 that it's out there, we're thrilled with the response it's 
 getting." 

 Kinney said Gatorade doesn't know who posted the video, 
 and Element 79 said on its website that it had nothing to 
 do with posting the video. 

 There is no mention of Gatorade in the video, though there 
 is a bottle by the chair where the ball girl sits near the 
 end of the clip.  And Gatorade has clearly become associated 
 with it, to the company's delight. 

 http://www.snopes.com/photos/advertisements/ballgirl.asp

 Chris, again thank your for spotting this fake video. 

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Subj:     How To Drop Our Gas Prices
          From: tom on 6/27/2008
 Source1: http://youtube.com/watch?v=UOpcPfAarjY
 Source2: http://youtube.com/watch?v=sLd_xUUR4Bg&feature=related

 These two movies show a solution to our high gas prices. 
 You can view them at the above sources, or on my web site 
 by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/nat/nat-supp-gas_prices1.html

and

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/nat/nat-supp-gas_prices2.html

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Subj:     Critics Fear Collider Could Doom Earth
          By DOUGLAS BIRCH,AP 
          From: AOL Science News on 6/30/2008

 MEYRIN, Switzerland (June 29) - The most powerful atom-smasher 
 ever built could make some bizarre discoveries, such as invisible 
 matter or extra dimensions in space, after it is switched on in 
 August.  Click below to read the article.

 http://jokelibrary.net/education/after_m/sci1-collider.html

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Subj:     Glow In The Dark Condom Commercial
          From: www.funmansion.com on 7/1/2008
 Source: http://www.dudehelp.com/videos/glowdarkcondom.wmv

 You can view this cute Four Seasons Condom commercial at 
 the above source, or on my web site by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/sex/b_to_h/condom-glow.html

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Subj:     Emma Mærsk, A Container Ship
          From: tom on 7/1/2008
 Source1: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emma_M%C3%A6rsk
 Source2: http://www.emma-maersk.com/photo/gallery/

 Emma Mærsk is a container ship owned by the A. P. Moller- 
 Maersk Group.  When she was launched, Emma Mærsk was the 
 largest container ship ever built, and as of 2008 the 
 longest ship in use.  Click below to read her story.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/n_to_v/ships-maersk.html

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Subj:     Viagra Comic Strip
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 6/30/2008
 Source: http://www.lablaughs.com/adult_toon.php?id=A20061121

 You can view this cute, dirty comic strip at the above source, 
 or on my web site by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/sex/p_to_s/penis-supp-viagra.html

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Subj:     Assassin Plays Golf
          From: DoctorDebt on 3/9/2004

 Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole 
 of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag 
 called out to them, "Do you mind if I join you?  My partner 
 didn't turn up."  "Sure," they said, "You're welcome." 

 So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company 
 of the newcomer.  Part way around the course, one of the 
 friends asked the newcomer,  "What do you do for a living?" 
 "I'm a hit man," was the reply.  "You're joking!" was the 
 response.  "No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf 
 bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with 
 a large telescopic sight. "Here are my tools." 

 "That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, 
 "Can I take a look?  I think I might be able to see my house 
 from here."  So he picked up the rifle and looked through the 
 sight in the direction  of his house.  "Yeah, I can see my 
 house all right.  This sight is fantastic.  I can see right 
 in the window."  "Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. 
 Ha Ha, I can see she's naked!!  Wait a minute, that's my 
 neighbor in there with her.......He's naked, too!!!  The 
 bitch!" 

 He turned to the hitman, "How much do you charge for a hit?" 
 "I do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time 
 I pull the  trigger."  "Can you do two for me now?"  "Sure, 
 what do you want?" 

 "First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot 
 her in the mouth.  Then the neighbor, he's a friend of mine, 
 and just a kid, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a 
 lesson."  The hitman took the rifle and took aim, standing 
 perfectly still for a  few minutes.  "Are you going to do 
 it or not?" said the golfer impatiently. 

 "Just be patient," said the hitman calmly,  "I think I can 
 save you a grand here....." 

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Subj:     Man Meets Lady Lecturer On Plane
          From: RFSlick on 2/20/2001 

 A man boards an airplane and takes his seat.  As he settles 
 in, he glances up and sees a very beautiful woman boarding 
 the plane.  He soon realizes she is heading straight towards 
 his seat.  Lo and behold, she takes the seat right beside 
 his.  Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurts out, 
 "Business trip or vacation?" 

 She turns, smiles and says, "Business.  I'm going to the 
 annual Nymphomaniac Convention in Chicago." 

 He swallows hard.  Here is the most gorgeous woman he has 
 ever seen, sitting next to him and she's going to a meeting 
 of nymphomaniacs!  Struggling to maintain his composure, he 
 calmly asks, "What's your business role at this convention?" 

 "Lecturer", she says, "I use my experience to debunk some 
 of the popular myths about sexuality." 

 "Really," he says, swallowing hard, "what myths are those?" 

 "Well," she explains, "one popular myth is that African- 
 American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it's 
 the Native-American Indian who is most likely to possess 
 that trait.  Another popular myth is that French men are 
 the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Jewish 
 descent. However, we have found that the best potential 
 lover in all categories is the Southern Redneck." 

 Suddenly, the woman becomes a little uncomfortable and 
 blushes. "I'm sorry," she says, "I shouldn't be discussing 
 this with you, I don't even know your name!" 

 "Tonto!", the man says, "Tonto Goldstein!....But my friends 
 call me 'Bubba.'"

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Subj:     Puzzle - The Four Elopements
          From the book 
            "Mathematical Puzzles of Sam Loyd" 
            Edited by Martin Gardner 
            From: Dover Publications in 1959

 Ferry four jealous couples across the river.  Click below
 to see the picture, the problem's description, and its 
 solution.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/m_files/m4c-couples.html

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Laughing Smiley from
flovilla on 9/23/2005

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