Subject: The
Sunday Morning Laughs #598
Date: 7/20/2008
"He who laughs, lasts."
-- Mary Pettibone
Poole
The best jokes I receive each week
are from you folks.
If you get a good joke please pass
it on to me, I enjoy
a good laugh and it cut down the
work. If you don't get
you Sunday Laughs, or want a back
issue, drop me a note.
Go to http://jokelibrary.net/a_joke_library.html
to read the great jokes you have
sent me through the years.
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Subj: The
Ballgirl Video Is A Fake (S598)
From: Chris on 7/12/2008
In last weeks 'Sunday Morning
Laughs - S597c' a great
video of the ballgirl making
a spectacular catch was
included. The video
is fake footage. The footage is
a shelved commercial for
Gatorade sports drink. Gatorade
ended its association with
the agency that created the
ad, Element 79, shortly after
the video was completed
and shelved the campaign.
"We were not planning to release
the ball girl video,"
[Gatorade spokeswoman Jill]
Kinney said. "However, now
that it's out there, we're
thrilled with the response it's
getting."
Kinney said Gatorade doesn't
know who posted the video,
and Element 79 said on its
website that it had nothing to
do with posting the video.
There is no mention of Gatorade
in the video, though there
is a bottle by the chair
where the ball girl sits near the
end of the clip. And
Gatorade has clearly become associated
with it, to the company's
delight.
http://www.snopes.com/photos/advertisements/ballgirl.asp
Chris, again thank your for
spotting this fake video.
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Subj: How
To Drop Our Gas Prices
From: tom on 6/27/2008
Source1: http://youtube.com/watch?v=UOpcPfAarjY
Source2: http://youtube.com/watch?v=sLd_xUUR4Bg&feature=related
These two movies show a solution
to our high gas prices.
You can view them at the
above sources, or on my web site
by clicking below.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/nat/nat-supp-gas_prices1.html
and
http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/nat/nat-supp-gas_prices2.html
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Subj: Critics
Fear Collider Could Doom Earth
By DOUGLAS BIRCH,AP
From: AOL Science News on 6/30/2008
MEYRIN, Switzerland (June
29) - The most powerful atom-smasher
ever built could make some
bizarre discoveries, such as invisible
matter or extra dimensions
in space, after it is switched on in
August. Click below
to read the article.
http://jokelibrary.net/education/after_m/sci1-collider.html
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Subj: Glow
In The Dark Condom Commercial
From: www.funmansion.com on 7/1/2008
Source: http://www.dudehelp.com/videos/glowdarkcondom.wmv
You can view this cute Four
Seasons Condom commercial at
the above source, or on my
web site by clicking below.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/sex/b_to_h/condom-glow.html
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Subj: Emma
Mærsk, A Container Ship
From: tom on 7/1/2008
Source1: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emma_M%C3%A6rsk
Source2: http://www.emma-maersk.com/photo/gallery/
Emma Mærsk is a container
ship owned by the A. P. Moller-
Maersk Group. When
she was launched, Emma Mærsk was the
largest container ship ever
built, and as of 2008 the
longest ship in use.
Click below to read her story.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/n_to_v/ships-maersk.html
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Subj: Viagra
Comic Strip
From: LABLaughsAdult on 6/30/2008
Source: http://www.lablaughs.com/adult_toon.php?id=A20061121
You can view this cute, dirty
comic strip at the above source,
or on my web site by clicking
below.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/sex/p_to_s/penis-supp-viagra.html
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Subj: Assassin
Plays Golf
From: DoctorDebt on 3/9/2004
Two old friends were just
about to tee off at the first hole
of their local golf course
when a guy carrying a golf bag
called out to them, "Do you
mind if I join you? My partner
didn't turn up." "Sure,"
they said, "You're welcome."
So they started playing and
enjoyed the game and the company
of the newcomer. Part
way around the course, one of the
friends asked the newcomer,
"What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a hit man," was the
reply. "You're joking!" was the
response. "No, I'm
not," he said, reaching into his golf
bag, and pulling out a beautiful
Martini sniper's rifle with
a large telescopic sight.
"Here are my tools."
"That's a beautiful telescopic
sight," said the other friend,
"Can I take a look?
I think I might be able to see my house
from here." So he picked
up the rifle and looked through the
sight in the direction
of his house. "Yeah, I can see my
house all right. This
sight is fantastic. I can see right
in the window." "Wow,
I can see my wife in the bedroom.
Ha Ha, I can see she's naked!!
Wait a minute, that's my
neighbor in there with her.......He's
naked, too!!! The
bitch!"
He turned to the hitman, "How
much do you charge for a hit?"
"I do a flat rate, for you,
one thousand dollars every time
I pull the trigger."
"Can you do two for me now?" "Sure,
what do you want?"
"First, shoot my wife, she's
always been mouthy, so shoot
her in the mouth. Then
the neighbor, he's a friend of mine,
and just a kid, so just shoot
his dick off to teach him a
lesson." The hitman
took the rifle and took aim, standing
perfectly still for a
few minutes. "Are you going to do
it or not?" said the golfer
impatiently.
"Just be patient," said the
hitman calmly, "I think I can
save you a grand here....."
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Subj: Man
Meets Lady Lecturer On Plane
From: RFSlick on 2/20/2001
A man boards an airplane and
takes his seat. As he settles
in, he glances up and sees
a very beautiful woman boarding
the plane. He soon
realizes she is heading straight towards
his seat. Lo and behold,
she takes the seat right beside
his. Eager to strike
up a conversation, he blurts out,
"Business trip or vacation?"
She turns, smiles and says,
"Business. I'm going to the
annual Nymphomaniac Convention
in Chicago."
He swallows hard. Here
is the most gorgeous woman he has
ever seen, sitting next to
him and she's going to a meeting
of nymphomaniacs! Struggling
to maintain his composure, he
calmly asks, "What's your
business role at this convention?"
"Lecturer", she says, "I use
my experience to debunk some
of the popular myths about
sexuality."
"Really," he says, swallowing
hard, "what myths are those?"
"Well," she explains, "one
popular myth is that African-
American men are the most
well endowed when, in fact, it's
the Native-American Indian
who is most likely to possess
that trait. Another
popular myth is that French men are
the best lovers, when actually
it is the men of Jewish
descent. However, we have
found that the best potential
lover in all categories is
the Southern Redneck."
Suddenly, the woman becomes
a little uncomfortable and
blushes. "I'm sorry," she
says, "I shouldn't be discussing
this with you, I don't even
know your name!"
"Tonto!", the man says, "Tonto
Goldstein!....But my friends
call me 'Bubba.'"
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Subj: Puzzle
- The Four Elopements
From the book
"Mathematical Puzzles of Sam Loyd"
Edited by Martin Gardner
From: Dover Publications in 1959
Ferry four jealous couples
across the river. Click below
to see the picture, the problem's
description, and its
solution.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/m_files/m4c-couples.html
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Laughing Smiley from
flovilla on 9/23/2005 |
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