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Subject: The Sunday Morning Laughs #598c
         Date: 7/20/2008

You can also view old ‘Sunday Morning Laughs’ at 
http://jokelibrary.net/archive/index.html
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Subj:     Redneck Art
          From: ft.apache on 6/27/2008

 This redneck artist does a beautiful picture while he is 
 eating barbacued ribs.  To see this movie, click below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/occupations/art/supp-redneck.html

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Subj:     Herman Comics On Ham Operators
          From: Comics.com on 6/28/2008
 Source: http://www.comics.com/comics/herman/index.html

 You can view thos cute comic strip by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/animals/d_to_z/pig-operator.html

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Subj:    Doctor Gets Nurse Pregnant
         From: RFSlick on 98-11-03
     and From: philsam on 6/28/2008

 A doctor started having an affair with his nurse.  Shortly
 after this started, she announced that she had become
 pregnant.  Not wanting his wife to find out, he gave her a
 large amount of money and asked her to go out of the country,
 to Germany, to wait out the pregnancy and have the baby over
 there.

 "But, how will you know when our baby is born?" she asked.

 "Well," he said, "after you've had the baby, just send me a
 postcard and write 'sauerkraut' on the back."

 Not knowing what else to do, she took the money and went
 off to Germany.

 Six months went by and then one day the doctor's wife called
 him at his office.  "Dear, you received a very strange
 postcard in the mail today," she explained.  "I don't
 understand what it means!"

 "Just wait until I get home and I'll read it," he replied.

 Later that evening the Doctor came home, read the postcard,
 fell to the floor with a heart attack.  Paramedics rushed
 him to the ER.  The lead medic stayed back to comfort the
 wife.  He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac
 arrest.  So the wife picked up the card and read "Sauerkraut,
 Sauerkraut, Sauerkraut:  Two with wieners, One without!"

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Subj:     The Test
          From: RFSlick on 98-10-12
      and From: LABLaughsClean on 6/27/2008

 What to do:

 1)  Grab a pen/pencil and paper.
 2)  Mark the paper 1 to 10 down the side
 3)  Answer each question and mark the corresponding letter
     to your answer on the paper
 4)  Calculate the point score for each question for each
     of your answers
 5)  Total up the points for all the questions and see
     where you land!

 Here goes...

 1.  When do you feel your best?
     (a)  In the morning
     (b)  During the afternoon and early evening
     (c)  Late at night

 2.  Do you usually walk
     (a)  fairly fast, with long steps?
     (b)  fairly fast, but with short, quick steps?
     (c)  less fast, head up looking the world in the face?
     (d)  less fast, head down?
     (e)  very slowly?

 3.  When talking to people, do you
     (a)  stand with your arms folded?
     (b)  have your hands clasped?
     (c)  have one or both your hands on your hips?
     (d)  touch or push the person to whom you are talking?
     (e)  play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair?

 4.  When relaxing, do you sit with
     (a)  your knees bent and your legs neatly side by side?
     (b)  your legs crossed?
     (c)  your legs stretced out or straight?
     (d)  with one leg curled under you?

 5.  When something really amuses you, how do you react?  Do you give
     (a)  a big, appreciative laugh?
     (b)  a laugh, but not a loud one?
     (c)  a quiet chuckle?
     (d)  a big smile?
     (e)  a slow smile?

 6.  When you go to a party or social gathering, you
    (a)  make a loud entrance so everyone notices you?
    (b)  make a quieter entrance looking around quickly
         for someone you know
    (c)  make quietest possible entrance? and try to stay unnoticed?

 7.  You are working hard, concentrating hard.
     You are interrupted. Do you
    (a)  welcome the break?
    (b)  feel extremely irritated?
    (c)  vary between these two extremes?

 8.  Which of the following colors do you like most
     (a)  red or orange
     (b)  black
     (c)  yellow or light blue
     (d)  green
     (e)  dark blue or purple
     (f)  white
     (g)  brown, gray, or violet

  9.  When you are in bed at night, in those last
      few moments before going to sleep, do you lie
     (a)  stretched out on your back?
     (b)  stretched out face down on your stomach?
     (c)  on your side, slightly curled?
     (d)  with your head on one arm?
     (e)  with your head under the covers?

  10. Do you often dream that you are
     (a)  falling?
     (b)  fighting or struggling?
     (c)  searching for something or somebody?
     (d)  flying or floating?
     (e)  or do you usually have a dreamless sleep?
     (f)  or do you have pleasant dreams?

  " SCORE YOUR OWN QUIZ "

   1.  (a)  2   (b)  4    (c)  6
   2.  (a)  6   (b)  4    (c)  7   (d)  2   (e)  1
   3.  (a)  4   (b)  2    (c)  5   (d)  7   (e)  6
   4.  (a)  4   (b)  6    (c)  2   (d)  1
   5.  (a)  6   (b)  4    (c)  3   (d)  5   (e)  2
   6.  (a)  6   (b)  4    (c)  2
   7.  (a)  6   (b)  2    (c)  4
   8.  (a)  6   (b)  7    (c)  5   (d)  4   (e)  3   (f)  2   (g)  1
   9.  (a)  7   (b)  6    (c)  4   (d)  2   (e)  1
  10.  (a)  4   (b)  2    (c)  3   (d)  5   (e)  6   (f)  1

  Add the total number of points.
  Results:

 OVER 60 POINTS:
 Others see you as someone they should "handle with care."
 You are seen as vain, self-centered and extremely dominant.
 Others may admire you and wish they could be more like you,
 but they don't always trust you and hesitate to become too
 deeply involved with you.

 FROM 51 TO 60 POINTS:
 Your friends see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather
 impulsive personality; a natural leader, quick to make
 decisions (though not always the right ones).  They see you
 as a bold and venturesome; someone who will try anything -
 well almost anything - once; someone who takes a chance and
 enjoys an adventure.  They enjoy being in your company
 because of the excitement you radiate.

 FROM 41 TO 50 POINTS:
 Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing and
 always interesting; someone who is constantly the center
 of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let
 it go to your head.  They see you also as kind,
 considerate and understanding; someone who will cheer
 them up and help them out.

 FROM 31 TO 40 POINTS:
 Other people see you as sensible, cautious, careful and
 practical.  They see you as clever, gifted or talented,
 but modest.  Not a person who makes friends too quickly
 or too easily, but someone who is extremely loyal to the
 friends you do make and who expects the same loyalty in
 return.  Those who really get to know you realize that
 it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but,
 equally, that it takes you a long time to get over it if
 that trust is shaken.

 FROM 21 TO 30 POINTS:
 Your friends see you as painstaking, perhaps a little
 fussy at times.  They see you as very, very cautious and
 extremely careful; a slow and steady plodder.  It would
 really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively
 or on the spur of the moment.  They expect you to examine
 everything carefully from every side and then, usually
 decide against it. They think this reaction on your part
 is caused partly by your carefully nature and partly by
 laziness.

 UNDER 21 POINTS:
 People think you are shy, nervous and indecisive, someone
 needs to be looked after, who always wants someone else
 to make the  decisions and who doesn't want to get
 involved with anyone or anything.  They see you as a
 worrier, who sees problems that don't exist.  Some people
 think your are boring.  Only the people who know you well
 know that you aren't.  The trouble is that you don't let
 very many people get close to you.

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Subj:     A Response To A 3ed Level Preempt
          From: BridgeClues.com on 6/28/2008

 This wonderful web site has daily problems if you click on 
 the bidding drop down menu.  Today's hand #5226 discusses 
 a response to a Michaels cue bid.  Click below to see this
 bridge problem.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/g2/a_bridge_column54.html

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..
Smiley says 'Bye' from
darrell94590 on 9/7/2005

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