Subject: The
Sunday Morning Laughs #561
Date: 8/10/2008
The Sunday Morning Laughs #601 (8/10/08)
"Men will confess to treason,
murder, arson, false teeth, or
a wig. How many of
them will own up to a lack of humor?"
-- Frank Moore
Colby
Thanks for the great jokes you guys
keep sending. If
I haven’t sent out a certain joke
for four years, I am
now sending the best ones out a
second time.
Go to http://jokelibrary.net/a_joke_library.html
to read the great jokes you have
sent me through the years.
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Subj: JibJab
- Election 2008
From: JibJab.com on 7/17/2008
Source: http://sendables.jibjab.com/
In JibJab's video for election
2008, they poke fun at both
candidates. You can
enjoy it at the above source, or on
my web site by clicking below.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/polit/polit-supp-election_2008.html
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Subj: JibJab
- The Empire Strikes Barack
From: JibJab.com on 7/17/2008
Source: http://www.jibjab.com/view/239949
This humorous movie about
the Clinton-Obama primaries
is worth seeing. You
can view it at the above source,
or on my web site by clicking
below.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/polit/polit-supp-empire.html
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Subj: Senator
Has Hooker And Plays Golf
An important senator arranges
to use an escort service (high-
class prostitution) and winds
up with this beautiful japanese
girl who speaks little English,
but hey, he wasn't in the
mood for conversation anyway.
So they get at it, and she
gets into it like no woman
he's ever seen! She starts
yelling, "Gama Su!, Gama
Su!" while making faces. He can
tell he's driving her crazy!
He's never had it so good.
The next morning, he's golfing
with the Japanese ambassador,
and he makes a birdie.
He suddenly remembers the word that
the woman yelled at what
must have been the moment of
climax the night before,
and he yells it out. The ambassador
looks at him rather oddly,
looks at the pin, and says, "no,
that was the right hole..."
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Subj: Men's
Life Cycle
From: ICohen on 6/26/00
and From: fischer-j on 8/3/2006
When I was 14, I hoped that
one day I would have a girlfriend.
When I was 16, I got a girlfriend,
but there was no passion.
So I decided I needed a passionate
girl with a zest for life.
In college I dated a passionate
girl, but she was too emotional.
Everything was an emergency,
she was a drama queen, cried all
the time and threatened suicide.
So I decided I needed a girl
with some stability.
When I was 25 I found a very
stable girl but she was boring.
She was totally predictable
and never got excited about anything.
Life became so dull that
I decided I needed a girl with some
excitement.
When I was 28 I found an exciting
girl, but I couldn't keep up
with her. She rushed from
one thing to another, never settling
on anything. She did
mad impetuous things and flirted with
everyone she met. She
made me miserable as often as happy.
She was great fun initially
and very energetic, but direction-
less. So I decided to find
a girl with some ambition.
When I turned 31, I found
a smart ambitious girl with her feet
planted firmly on the ground
and married her. She was so
ambitious that she divorced
me and took everything I owned.
Now I am 40 and all I want
is a girl with big tits.
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Subj: Colin
Powell At A Conference
From: LABLaughsAdult on 7/11/2008
Source: http://www.snopes.com/politics/quotes/powell.asp
When in England at a fairly
large conference, Colin Powell
was asked by the Archbishop
of Canterbury if our plans for
Iraq were just an example
of empire building by George Bush.
He answered by saying that,
"Over the years, the United
States has sent many of its
fine young men and women into
great peril to fight for
freedom beyond our borders. The
only amount of land we have
ever asked for in return is
enough to bury those that
did not return."
It became very quiet in the
room.
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Subj: Little
Old Lady Sitting On A Park Bench
From: tom on 7/18/2008
A little old lady was sitting
on a park bench in The Villages,
a Florida Adult community.
A man walked over and sits down
on the other end of the bench.
After a few moments, the
woman asks, 'Are you a stranger
here?'
He replies, 'I lived here
years ago.'
'So, where were you all these
years?'
'In prison,' he says.
'Why did they put you in prison?'
He looked at her, and very
quietly said, 'I killed my wife.'
'Oh!' said the woman. 'So
you're single...?!'
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Subj: Judge
Judy
From: darrellvip on 7/14/2008
Judge to prostitute,
'So when did
you realize you were raped?'
Prostitute, wiping away tears:
'When the check
bounced.'
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Subj: Car
Accident
From: ginafm on 7/17/2008
I rear-ended a car this morning.
So, there we were
alongside the road and slowly
the other driver got out
of his car. You know
how sometimes you just get soooo
stressed and little things
just seem funny? Yeah, well
I couldn't believe it....
he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car,
looked up at me, and shouted,
'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'
So, I looked down at him and
said, 'Well, then which one
are you?'
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Subj: LOGIC
PROB. - Cryptic Math II
From: Dell Crossword Special
for May 2008 Page 65
Published bimonthly by
Dell Magazines
a division of Crosstown Publications
6 Prowitt St.
Norwark, CT 06855-1220
Each of the nine letters stands
for one of the numbers one
through nine, but no two
letters stand for the same number.
Using the given clues, can
you deduce the number represented
be each letter?
Click below to see the larger
picture, the problem's
description, and its solution.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/m_files/m4c-cryptic2.html
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Subj: MATH
PROB. - A Clock Puzzle
© Copyright 2000, Jim Loy
Source: http://www.jimloy.com/puzz/clock0.htm
A well-known and simple puzzle
is this: The hour and minute
hands of a clock are superimposed
at 12:00. When will they
next be superimposed (I don't
mean lined up as they are at 6:00)?
To view the solution, click
below.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/m_files/m4b-clock.html
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