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Subject: The Sunday Morning Laughs #561
         Date: 8/10/2008

The Sunday Morning Laughs #601 (8/10/08)
 

 "Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or
  a wig.  How many of them will own up to a lack of humor?" 
    -- Frank Moore Colby

Thanks for the great jokes you guys keep sending.  If
I havenít sent out a certain joke for four years, I am
now sending the best ones out a second time.
 

Go to http://jokelibrary.net/a_joke_library.html
to read the great jokes you have sent me through the years.
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Subj:     JibJab - Election 2008
          From: JibJab.com on 7/17/2008
 Source: http://sendables.jibjab.com/

 In JibJab's video for election 2008, they poke fun at both 
 candidates.  You can enjoy it at the above source, or on 
 my web site by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/polit/polit-supp-election_2008.html

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Subj:     JibJab - The Empire Strikes Barack
          From: JibJab.com on 7/17/2008
 Source: http://www.jibjab.com/view/239949

 This humorous movie about the Clinton-Obama primaries 
 is worth seeing.  You can view it at the above source, 
 or on my web site by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/polit/polit-supp-empire.html

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Subj:     Senator Has Hooker And Plays Golf

 An important senator arranges to use an escort service (high- 
 class prostitution) and winds up with this beautiful japanese 
 girl who speaks little English, but hey, he wasn't in the 
 mood for conversation anyway.  So they get at it, and she 
 gets into it like no woman he's ever seen!  She starts 
 yelling, "Gama Su!, Gama Su!" while making faces.  He can 
 tell he's driving her crazy!  He's never had it so good. 

 The next morning, he's golfing with the Japanese ambassador, 
 and he makes a birdie.  He suddenly remembers the word that 
 the woman yelled at what must have been the moment of 
 climax the night before, and he yells it out.  The ambassador 
 looks at him rather oddly, looks at the pin, and says, "no, 
 that was the right hole..."

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Subj:     Men's Life Cycle
          From: ICohen on 6/26/00
      and From: fischer-j on 8/3/2006

 When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.

 When I was 16, I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion.

 So I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.
 In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional.
 Everything was an emergency, she was a drama queen, cried all
 the time and threatened suicide.  So I decided I needed a girl
 with some stability.

 When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring.
 She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything.
 Life became so dull that I decided I needed a girl with some
 excitement.

 When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up
 with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling
 on anything.  She did mad impetuous things and flirted with
 everyone she met.  She made me miserable as often as happy.
 She was great fun initially and very energetic, but direction-
 less. So I decided to find a girl with some ambition.

 When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet
 planted firmly on the ground and married her.  She was so
 ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

 Now I am 40 and all I want is a girl with big tits.

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Subj:     Colin Powell At A Conference
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 7/11/2008
 Source: http://www.snopes.com/politics/quotes/powell.asp

 When in England at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell 
 was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for 
 Iraq were just an example of empire building by George Bush. 

 He answered by saying that, "Over the years, the United 
 States has sent many of its fine young men and women into 
 great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders.  The 
 only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is 
 enough to bury those that did not return." 

 It became very quiet in the room.

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Subj:     Little Old Lady Sitting On A Park Bench
          From: tom on 7/18/2008 

 A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in The Villages, 
 a Florida Adult community.  A man walked over and sits down 
 on the other end of the bench.  After a few moments, the 
 woman asks, 'Are you a stranger here?' 

 He replies, 'I lived here years ago.' 

 'So, where were you all these years?' 

 'In prison,' he says. 

 'Why did they put you in prison?'

 He looked at her, and very quietly said, 'I killed my wife.' 

 'Oh!' said the woman. 'So you're single...?!' 

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Subj:     Judge Judy
          From: darrellvip on 7/14/2008 

 Judge to prostitute, 
    'So when did you realize you were raped?' 

 Prostitute, wiping away tears: 
    'When the check bounced.'

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Subj:     Car Accident
          From: ginafm on 7/17/2008 

 I rear-ended a car this morning.  So, there we were 
 alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out 
 of his car.  You know how sometimes you just get soooo 
 stressed and little things just seem funny?  Yeah, well 
 I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! 

 He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 
 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!' 

 So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one 
 are you?' 

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Subj:     LOGIC PROB. - Cryptic Math II
          From: Dell Crossword Special 
             for May 2008 Page 65 
          Published bimonthly by 
             Dell Magazines 
          a division of Crosstown Publications 
             6 Prowitt St. 
             Norwark, CT 06855-1220

 Each of the nine letters stands for one of the numbers one 
 through nine, but no two letters stand for the same number. 
 Using the given clues, can you deduce the number represented 
 be each letter? 

 Click below to see the larger picture, the problem's 
 description, and its solution.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/m_files/m4c-cryptic2.html

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Subj:     MATH PROB. - A Clock Puzzle
          © Copyright 2000, Jim Loy 
 Source: http://www.jimloy.com/puzz/clock0.htm

 A well-known and simple puzzle is this: The hour and minute 
 hands of a clock are superimposed at 12:00.  When will they 
 next be superimposed (I don't mean lined up as they are at 6:00)? 
 
 To view the solution, click below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/m_files/m4b-clock.html

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Calvin and Hobbes from
Bozeman Public Schools

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