Subject: The
Sunday Morning Laughs #604b
Date: 8/31/2008
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Subj:
Opus On His Midlife Crisis
By Berkeley Breathed on November 18, 2007
From: Salon,com on 8/2/2008 |
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Source: http://www.salon.com/comics/opus/2007/11/18/opus/
Opus comic strip deals with
the sneaky, seductive mental
quicksand of midlife!
You can view this wonderful comic
strip on my site by clicking
below.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/polit/polit-supp-opus2.html
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Subj: Elderly
Man Visits Social Security Office
From: gheckman on 04/04/2000
and From: darrellvip on 8/2/2008
A senior citizen decided to
visit the social security office
to sign up for his benefits.
Upon his arrival the clerk
asked for proof of his age.
When he reached for his wallet
the embarassed man realized
he had left it home.
After explaining his problem
to the clerk, she replied:
"Don't worry, just open your
shirt and if your chest hair
is gray you will qualify."
The senior citizen opened up
his shirt and was soon signed
up for his benefits.
Upon arriving home he related
the story to his wife. She
looked at him, smiled and
said "too bad you didn't drop
your drawers--you would have
qualified for disability too!
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Subj:
Andy Capp Comic Strip
By Reg Smythe
From: WashingtonPost.com on 8/4/2008 |
Source: http://comics.washingtonpost.com/11_comics_andy-capp.html
In this issue, the comic strip
discusses the secret to a
successful marriage.
Click below to view it.
http://jokelibrary.net/people/f_mar/m2-capp.html
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Subj: Earl
And Bubba Discuss Wives
From: gordonschuk on 7/19/2007
Earl and Bubba are quietly
sitting in a boat fishing,
chewing and drinking beer
when suddenly Bubba says,
'I think I'm gonna divorce
my wife she ain't spoke to
me in over 2 months.'
Earl spits, sips his beer
and says, 'Better think it
over, women like that are
hard to find.'
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Subj:
State Of The Union Comic Strip III
By Carl Moore
From: Creators.com on 7/8/2008 |
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Source: http://www.creators.com/today-comics.html
This political comic strip
compares Obama and McCain
to the hare and the tortoise.
You can view it on my
web site by clicking below.
http://jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/polit/polit-supp-state2.html
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Subj: Special
Annoncement From Apple
From: rfslick on 7/31/2008
ANNOUNCEMENT
Apple announced today that
it has developed a breast
implant that can store and
play music. The iTit will
cost from $499 to $699, depending
on cup and speaker size.
This is considered a major
social breakthrough, because
women are always complaining
about men staring at their
breasts and not listening
to them.
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Subj:
Not Want To Go To The Vet
From: ginafm on 8/3/2008
Drawing from Laundro-Mutt.com |
I suspect that this wonderful,
Norman Rockwell type
photo was staged. Either
way, you can laugh at this
great picture by clicking
below.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/animals/d_to_z/dog-supp-vet.html
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Subj: Are
You A Redneck Quiz
From: Quizsarama on Sept. 6,2004
At: www.quizarama.com/areyouaredneck.php
1. How many Vienna
Sausages are in a can?
A. 7
B. 8
C. 9
2. What was the number
of Richard Petty's car?
A. 23
B. 37
C. 43
3. Bill Dance is good
at what?
A. Fishin'
B. Huntin'
C. Line Dancin'
4. Where did Herschel
Walker play football (college)?
A. University of Alabama
B. University of Georgia
C. University of Tennessee
5. In cubic inches,
how big is the smallest 1966 GM
small-block V8?
A. 283
B. 243
C. 267
6. A Cajun is likely
to speak what furrin language?
A. Italian
B. Spanish
C. French
7. What is a chigger?
A. A Texan Cigar
B. A Redbug
C. A Tool
8. What is scrapple?
A. A Medical Tool
B. A Sausage-like Loaf
C. A Musical Instrument
9. Where is "The Redneck
Riviera?"
A. Jackson, MS
B. Baton Rouge, LA
C. Panama City, FL
10. What's that fuzzy
stuff hanging off the oak tree?
A. Spanish Moss
B. Leaves
C. Aligator Hides
11. If you mated a heifer
and a steer, what would you get?
A. A Cow
B. A Bull
C. Nothing. A steer has been castrated.
12. Who sang "Your Cheatin'
Heart?"
A. Willie Nelson
B. George Strait
C. Hank Williams
13. What are grits made
out of?
A. Corn
B. Oatmeal
C. Potatos
14. What is a scuppernong?
A. A Wild Pig
B. A Wild Grape
C. A Wild Goat
15. What color is your
John Deere?
A. Red
B. Blue
C. Green
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Answers
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1. A. Seven Vienna Sausages
are in a can.
2. C. The number of Richard
Petty's car was 43.
3. A. Bill Dance is good
at Fishin'.
4. B. Herschel Walker play
football for University of Georgia.
5. A. The smallest 1966
GM small-block V8 is 283 cubic inches.
6. C. A Cajun is likely
to speak French.
7. B. A chigger is a redbug.
8. B. A scrapple is a sausage-like
loaf.
9. C. The 'Redneck Riviera'
is Panama City, FL.
10. A. That fuzzy stuff hanging
off the oak tree is Spanish Moss.
11. C. If you mated a heifer
and a steer, you would get
nothing. A steer has been castrated.
12. C. Hank Williams sang
"Your Cheatin' Heart."
13. A. Grits made out of
corn.
14. B. A scuppernong A wild
grape.
15. C. Green is the color
of your John Deere.
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Your 'Redneck' Rating
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If you got 0 to 4 right.
"It turns out a monkey is
more of a redneck
that you are. Feel
safe in the knowledge that
your family tree is probably
very far reaching."
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If you got 5 to 8 right.
"You did ok but your not
a redneck. You probably
visited the south a few times
but obviously managed
to escape without the words
y'all and fixin' ta
being added perminantly to
your vocabulary."
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If you got 9 to 11 right.
"You scored well this means
you are one of 3 things.
1) You are exceptionally
bright.
2) You used to be a redneck
but have moved out
out of the south
and are in remission.
3) You are a redneck but
trying ot hide it."
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If you got 12 to 15 right.
"You are a redneck.
Be proud, Stand straight. Stand
tall, but stand over there
because the wind is blowing
the smell of your skoal in
my direction."
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Subj:
LOGIC PROB. - Pentagon Series
by Philip J. Carter and Kenneth A. Russell
From the book "IQ Test" on 7/27/2008 |
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Published by Sterling Pub. Co., Inc., in 2008
387 Park Avenue South, New York, N.Y. 10016
Test #1, Problem #24, Page 21
Which pentagon continues the
series? Click below to see
the picture, the problem's
description, and its solution.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/m_files/m4c-pentagon.html
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Subj:
Another Foolish Trivia
From: Conta Costa Times on August 4, 2008
Animated GIF from gordonschuk |
This is another “Name That
Company” which tells you facts
about a famous company and
asks you to name the company.
Click below to play.
http://jokelibrary.net/occupations/b_to_l/job-stuff-supp-trivia.html#15
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