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Subject: The Sunday Morning Laughs #604b
         Date: 8/31/2008

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Subj:     Opus On His Midlife Crisis
          By Berkeley Breathed on November 18, 2007
          From: Salon,com on 8/2/2008
 Source: http://www.salon.com/comics/opus/2007/11/18/opus/

 Opus comic strip deals with the sneaky, seductive mental 
 quicksand of midlife!  You can view this wonderful comic 
 strip on my site by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/polit/polit-supp-opus2.html

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Subj:     Elderly Man Visits Social Security Office
          From: gheckman on 04/04/2000
      and From: darrellvip on 8/2/2008

 A senior citizen decided to visit the social security office
 to sign up for his benefits.  Upon his arrival the clerk
 asked for proof of his age.  When he reached for his wallet
 the embarassed man realized he had left it home.

 After explaining his problem to the clerk, she replied:
 "Don't worry, just open your shirt and if your chest hair
 is gray you will qualify."  The senior citizen opened up
 his shirt and was soon signed up for his benefits.

 Upon arriving home he related the story to his wife.  She
 looked at him, smiled and said "too bad you didn't drop
 your drawers--you would have qualified for disability too!

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Subj:     Andy Capp Comic Strip
          By Reg Smythe
          From: WashingtonPost.com on 8/4/2008
 Source: http://comics.washingtonpost.com/11_comics_andy-capp.html 

 In this issue, the comic strip discusses the secret to a 
 successful marriage.  Click below to view it.

 http://jokelibrary.net/people/f_mar/m2-capp.html

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Subj:     Earl And Bubba Discuss Wives
          From: gordonschuk on 7/19/2007

 Earl and Bubba are quietly sitting in a boat fishing, 
 chewing and drinking beer when suddenly Bubba says, 
 'I think I'm gonna divorce my wife she ain't spoke to 
 me in over 2 months.' 

 Earl spits, sips his beer and says, 'Better think it 
 over, women like that are hard to find.'

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Subj:     State Of The Union Comic Strip III
          By Carl Moore 
          From: Creators.com on 7/8/2008
 Source: http://www.creators.com/today-comics.html

 This political comic strip compares Obama and McCain 
 to the hare and the tortoise.  You can view it on my 
 web site by clicking below.

 http://jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/polit/polit-supp-state2.html

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Subj:     Special Annoncement From Apple
          From: rfslick on 7/31/2008 

 ANNOUNCEMENT 

 Apple announced today that it has developed a breast 
 implant that can store and play music.  The iTit will 
 cost from $499 to $699, depending on cup and speaker size. 

 This is considered a major social breakthrough, because 
 women are always complaining about men staring at their 
 breasts and not listening to them.

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Subj:     Not Want To Go To The Vet
          From: ginafm on 8/3/2008
Drawing from Laundro-Mutt.com

 I suspect that this wonderful, Norman Rockwell type 
 photo was staged.  Either way, you can laugh at this 
 great picture by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/animals/d_to_z/dog-supp-vet.html

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Subj:     Are You A Redneck Quiz
          From: Quizsarama on Sept. 6,2004
          At: www.quizarama.com/areyouaredneck.php

  1.  How many Vienna Sausages are in a can? 
      A. 7 
      B. 8 
      C. 9 

  2.  What was the number of Richard Petty's car? 
      A. 23 
      B. 37 
      C. 43 

  3.  Bill Dance is good at what? 
      A. Fishin' 
      B. Huntin' 
      C. Line Dancin' 

  4.  Where did Herschel Walker play football (college)? 
      A. University of Alabama 
      B. University of Georgia 
      C. University of Tennessee 

  5.  In cubic inches, how big is the smallest 1966 GM 
      small-block V8? 
      A. 283 
      B. 243 
      C. 267 

  6.  A Cajun is likely to speak what furrin language? 
      A. Italian 
      B. Spanish 
      C. French 

  7.  What is a chigger? 
      A. A Texan Cigar 
      B. A Redbug 
      C. A Tool 

  8.  What is scrapple? 
      A. A Medical Tool 
      B. A Sausage-like Loaf 
      C. A Musical Instrument 

  9.  Where is "The Redneck Riviera?" 
      A. Jackson, MS 
      B. Baton Rouge, LA 
      C. Panama City, FL 

 10.  What's that fuzzy stuff hanging off the oak tree? 
      A. Spanish Moss 
      B. Leaves 
      C. Aligator Hides 

 11.  If you mated a heifer and a steer, what would you get? 
      A. A Cow 
      B. A Bull 
      C. Nothing. A steer has been castrated. 

 12.  Who sang "Your Cheatin' Heart?" 
      A. Willie Nelson 
      B. George Strait 
      C. Hank Williams 

 13.  What are grits made out of? 
      A. Corn 
      B. Oatmeal 
      C. Potatos 

 14.  What is a scuppernong? 
      A. A Wild Pig 
      B. A Wild Grape 
      C. A Wild Goat 

 15.  What color is your John Deere? 
      A. Red 
      B. Blue 
      C. Green 
 ======= 
 Answers 
 ======= 
  1. A. Seven Vienna Sausages are in a can. 
  2. C. The number of Richard Petty's car was 43. 
  3. A. Bill Dance is good at Fishin'. 
  4. B. Herschel Walker play football for University of Georgia. 
  5. A. The smallest 1966 GM small-block V8 is 283 cubic inches. 
  6. C. A Cajun is likely to speak French. 
  7. B. A chigger is a redbug. 
  8. B. A scrapple is a sausage-like loaf. 
  9. C. The 'Redneck Riviera' is Panama City, FL. 
 10. A. That fuzzy stuff hanging off the oak tree is Spanish Moss. 
 11. C. If you mated a heifer and a steer, you would get 
        nothing. A steer has been castrated. 
 12. C. Hank Williams sang "Your Cheatin' Heart." 
 13. A. Grits made out of corn. 
 14. B. A scuppernong A wild grape. 
 15. C. Green is the color of your John Deere. 

 ===================== 
 Your 'Redneck' Rating 
 ===================== 
 If you got 0 to 4 right. 
 "It turns out a monkey is more of a redneck 
 that you are.  Feel safe in the knowledge that 
 your family tree is probably very far reaching." 
 ------------------------ 
 If you got 5 to 8 right. 
 "You did ok but your not a redneck.  You probably 
 visited the south a few times but obviously managed 
 to escape without the words y'all and fixin' ta 
 being added perminantly to your vocabulary." 
 ------------------------ 
 If you got 9 to 11 right. 
 "You scored well this means you are one of 3 things. 
 1) You are exceptionally bright. 
 2) You used to be a redneck but have moved out 
    out of the south and are in remission. 
 3) You are a redneck but trying ot hide it." 
 ------------------------ 
 If you got 12 to 15 right. 
 "You are a redneck.  Be proud, Stand straight. Stand 
 tall, but stand over there because the wind is blowing 
 the smell of your skoal in my direction."

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Subj:     LOGIC PROB. - Pentagon Series
          by Philip J. Carter and Kenneth A. Russell 
          From the book "IQ Test" on 7/27/2008
            Published by Sterling Pub. Co., Inc., in 2008 
            387 Park Avenue South, New York, N.Y. 10016 
            Test #1, Problem #24, Page 21

 Which pentagon continues the series?  Click below to see 
 the picture, the problem's description, and its solution.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/m_files/m4c-pentagon.html

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Subj:     Another Foolish Trivia
          From: Conta Costa Times on August 4, 2008
Animated GIF from gordonschuk

 This is another “Name That Company” which tells you facts
 about a famous company and asks you to name the company.
 Click below to play.

 http://jokelibrary.net/occupations/b_to_l/job-stuff-supp-trivia.html#15

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Worm from Animated Image © Kitty Roach

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