Subject: The
Sunday Morning Laughs #606
Date: 9/14/2008
"Men will confess to treason,
murder, arson, false teeth, or
a wig. How many of
them will own up to a lack of humor?"
-- Frank Moore
Colby
Thanks for the great jokes you guys
keep sending. If
I haven’t sent out a certain joke
for four years, I am
now sending the best ones out a
second time.
Go to http://jokelibrary.net/a_joke_library.html
to read the great jokes you have
sent me through the years.
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Subj:
Sarah Palin Joke Video
Played By actress Gina Gershon (S606)
From: CKButch4Femme on 9/11/2008 |
Source: http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/61410aa4ff
You can view this cute, funny
video at the above source,
or on my web site by clicking
below.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/polit/polit-supp-palin.html
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Subj: Doctor's
Advice For Migraine Headaches
From: TNKRTEACH on 97-04-21
A man goes to the doctor with
a long history of migraine
headaches. When the
doctor does his history and physical,
he discovers that the poor
guy has tried practically every
therapy known to man for
his migraines and STILL no
improvement.
"Listen," says the Doc, "I
have migraines, too and the
advice I'm going to give
you isn't really anything I
learned in medical school,
but it's advice that I've
gotten from my own experience.
When I have a migraine,
I go home, get in a nice
hot bathtub, and soak for a
while. Then I have
my wife sponge me off with the
hottest water I can stand,
especially around the forehead.
This helps a little.
Then I get out of the tub, take
her into the bedroom, and
even if my head is killing me,
I force myself to have sex
with her. Almost always, the
headache is immediately gone.
Now, give it a try, and
come back and see me in six
weeks."
Six weeks later, the patient
returns with a big grin.
"Doc! I took your advice
and it works! It REALLY WORKS!
I've had migraines for 17
years and this is the FIRST
time anyone has ever helped
me!"
"Well," says the physician,
"I'm glad I could help."
"By the way, Doc," the patient
adds, "You have a REALLY
nice house."
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Subj:
If Dogs Could Talk To God
From: tadams96 on 2/23/2001
and From: rfslick on 8/13/2008 |
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These 'Dog's Letters to God'
are quite cute with
fifteen animated GIFs.
Click below to view them.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/animals/d_to_z/dog3-god.html
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Subj: Wooden
Eye
There was a boy who lost his
left eye in an accident. I think
he shot it out with a BB
gun. His parents were too poor to
buy him a glass eye but found
a doctor who could provide a
wooden eye that was affordable.
The wood eye looked less than
realistic and the boy was
very self-conscious about it and
consequently didn't socialize
much. The big school dance was
coming up and his friends
asked if he planned to attend. He
said "No I don't think so.
I would be too embarrassed because
of my wooden eye."
They finally reassured him
that no one would pay any attention
to his eye and convinced
him to go to the dance. At the dance
he remained off to the side
afraid to confront any of the girls
and ask them to dance.
His friends kept encouraging him but he
would say "I don't know what
she would think about my wooden
eye."
After a while his friends
noticed a girl across the room who
was also shyly standing off
to the side. Looking closer they
noticed that she wasn't unattractive
but did have a serious
harelip. They went
to their friend and said "Look! There is
a girl across the room with
a hairlip. She is obviously just
as self conscious as you
are and certainly won't be offended
by your wooden eye.
Go ask
her to dance."
With some apprehension he
finally worked up his courage and
took the long walk across
the dance floor and approached the
harelipped girl. He
said "Would you like to dance with me?"
The girl excitedly replied
"Would I? Would I?"
The boy immediately screamed
back "Harelip! Harelip!"
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Subj:
Foodscape
From: ginafm on 8/13/2008 |
The British photographer Carl
Warner created this series
of photos using only food
to make the scenery.
Click 'HERE'
to view this PowerPoint Show.
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Subj: Maw
Wants Paw To Fix Outhouse
From: thebartend on 2/23/2001
Maw is outside hangin' up
the laundry, when she hears Paw
in the kitchen. Maw
walks in and says, "Paw, get out there
and fix that there outhouse."
Paw says, "All right, Maw."
Paw walks out to the outhouse,
looks at it and says, "Maw,
there ain't nothin' wrong with
this here outhouse!"
Maw says, "Yes, there is.
Put your head down in the hole."
Paw says, "I ain't puttin'
my head in that there hole!"
Maw says, "Well you're gonna
have to if'n you're gonna fix
the problem!"
So Paw puts his head down
in the hole (just a little bit,
mind ya) and then hollers,
"Maw, there ain't nothin' wrong
with this here outhouse!"
Maw hollers, "Now pull your
head out of the hole."
Paw goes to lift up his head
and he says, "Oww! Ouch! Maw!
MAW, my beard's stuck in
the wood cracks in the seat!"
Maw says, "Aggravatin', ain't
it?"
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Subj:
Weird Sculptures And Statues
From: darrellvip on 8/14/2008 |
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This PowerPoint Show shows
the weirdest sculptures and
statues from around the world.
Click 'HERE'
to view this PowerPoint Show.
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Subj: Doctors
Vs Guns
From: jbcary1 on 6/21/2005
and From: allenbergman on 8/13/2008
Doctors:
(A) The number of doctors
in the U.S. is 700,000.
(B) Accidental deaths caused
by physicians per year are 120,000.
(C) Accidental deaths per
physician is 17.14%.
Statistics courtesy of the
U.S.Dept of Health and Human Services
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Guns:
(A) The number of gun owners
in the U.S. is 80,000,000
(yes that's
80 million).
(B) The number of accidental
gun deaths per year,
all age
groups, is 1,500.
(C) The number of accidental
deaths per gun owner is 0.001875%.
Statistics courtesy of the
FBI
*************************************************************
So statistically, doctors
are approximately 9,000 times more
dangerous than gun owners.
*************************************************************
Remember, guns don't kill
people, doctors do.
*************************************************************
FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN,
BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS
AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR.
*************************************************************
Please alert your friends
to this alarming threat. We must
ban doctors before this gets
completely out of hand!!!
*************************************************************
Out of concern for the public
at large, I have withheld
statistics on lawyers for
fear the shock would cause
people to panic and seek
medical attention.
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Subj:
Math Prob. - Dissecting A Heptagon
by Philip J. Carter and Kenneth A. Russell
From the book "IQ Test" on 7/27/2008
Published by Sterling Pub. Co., Inc., in 2008
387 Park Avenue South, New York, N.Y. 10016
Test #3, Problem #1, Page 48 |
In how many ways is it possible
to dissect a heptagon? Click
below to see the pictures,
the problem's description, and
its solution.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/m_files/m4c-heptagon.html
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Subj:
Math Prob. - The Squarest Game
From the book
"Mathematical Puzzles of Sam Loyd"
Edited by Martin Gardner
From: Dover Publications in 1959 |
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How can you score exactly
fifty points? Click below to see
the picture, the problem's
description, and its solution.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/m_files/m4c-coney.html
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Laughing Smiley from
flovilla on 9/23/2005 |
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