.
.
. .
.
Subject: The Sunday Morning Laughs #606
         Date: 9/14/2008
 

 "Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or
  a wig.  How many of them will own up to a lack of humor?" 
    -- Frank Moore Colby
 

Thanks for the great jokes you guys keep sending.  If
I havenít sent out a certain joke for four years, I am
now sending the best ones out a second time.
 

Go to http://jokelibrary.net/a_joke_library.html
to read the great jokes you have sent me through the years.
===========================================================
Subj:     Sarah Palin Joke Video 
          Played By actress Gina Gershon (S606) 
          From: CKButch4Femme on 9/11/2008
 Source: http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/61410aa4ff

 You can view this cute, funny video at the above source, 
 or on my web site by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/polit/polit-supp-palin.html

                            \\\//
                           -(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo======================
Subj:     Doctor's Advice For Migraine Headaches
          From: TNKRTEACH on 97-04-21

 A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine 
 headaches.  When the doctor does his history and physical, 
 he discovers that the poor guy has tried practically every 
 therapy known to man for his migraines and STILL no 
 improvement. 

 "Listen," says the Doc, "I have migraines, too and the 
 advice I'm going to give you isn't really anything I 
 learned in medical school, but it's advice that I've 
 gotten from my own experience. When I have a migraine, 
 I go home, get in a nice hot bathtub, and soak for a 
 while.  Then I have my wife sponge me off with the 
 hottest water I can stand, especially around the forehead. 
 This helps a little.  Then I get out of the tub, take 
 her into the bedroom, and even if my head is killing me, 
 I force myself to have sex with her.  Almost always, the 
 headache is immediately gone.  Now, give it a try, and 
 come back and see me in six weeks." 

 Six weeks later, the patient returns with a big grin. 
 "Doc! I took your advice and it works! It REALLY WORKS! 
 I've had migraines for 17 years and this is the FIRST 
 time anyone has ever helped me!" 

 "Well," says the physician, "I'm glad I could help." 

 "By the way, Doc," the patient adds, "You have a REALLY 
 nice house." 

                            \\\//
                           -(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo======================
Subj:     If Dogs Could Talk To God
          From: tadams96 on 2/23/2001
      and From: rfslick on 8/13/2008

 These 'Dog's Letters to God' are quite cute with 
 fifteen animated GIFs.  Click below to view them.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/animals/d_to_z/dog3-god.html

                            \\\//
                           -(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo======================
Subj:     Wooden Eye

 There was a boy who lost his left eye in an accident.  I think 
 he shot it out with a BB gun.  His parents were too poor to 
 buy him a glass eye but found a doctor who could provide a 
 wooden eye that was affordable.  The wood eye looked less than 
 realistic and the boy was very self-conscious about it and 
 consequently didn't socialize much.  The big school dance was 
 coming up and his friends asked if he planned to attend.  He 
 said "No I don't think so.  I would be too embarrassed because 
 of my wooden eye." 

 They finally reassured him that no one would pay any attention 
 to his eye and convinced him to go to the dance.  At the dance 
 he remained off to the side afraid to confront any of the girls 
 and ask them to dance.  His friends kept encouraging him but he 
 would say "I don't know what she would think about my wooden 
 eye." 

 After a while his friends noticed a girl across the room who 
 was also shyly standing off to the side.  Looking closer they 
 noticed that she wasn't unattractive but did have a serious 
 harelip.  They went to their friend and said "Look!  There is 
 a girl across the room with a hairlip.  She is obviously just 
 as self conscious as you are and certainly won't be offended 
 by your wooden eye. Go ask her to dance." 

 With some apprehension he finally worked up his courage and 
 took the long walk across the dance floor and approached the 
 harelipped girl.  He said "Would you like to dance with me?" 

 The girl excitedly replied "Would I? Would I?" 

 The boy immediately screamed back "Harelip! Harelip!" 

                            \\\// 
                           -(o o)- 
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================
Subj:     Foodscape
          From: ginafm on 8/13/2008

 The British photographer Carl Warner created this series 
 of photos using only food to make the scenery.

 Click 'HERE' to view this PowerPoint Show.

                            \\\//
                           -(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo======================
Subj:     Maw Wants Paw To Fix Outhouse
          From: thebartend on 2/23/2001

 Maw is outside hangin' up the laundry, when she hears Paw
 in the kitchen.  Maw walks in and says, "Paw, get out there
 and fix that there outhouse."

 Paw says, "All right, Maw."  Paw walks out to the outhouse,
 looks at it and says, "Maw, there ain't nothin' wrong with
 this here outhouse!"

 Maw says, "Yes, there is. Put your head down in the hole."

 Paw says, "I ain't puttin' my head in that there hole!"

 Maw says, "Well you're gonna have to if'n you're gonna fix
 the problem!"

 So Paw puts his head down in the hole (just a little bit,
 mind ya) and then hollers, "Maw, there ain't nothin' wrong
 with this here outhouse!"

 Maw hollers, "Now pull your head out of the hole."

 Paw goes to lift up his head and he says, "Oww!  Ouch!  Maw!
 MAW, my beard's stuck in the wood cracks in the seat!"

 Maw says, "Aggravatin', ain't it?"

                            \\\//
                           -(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo======================
Subj:     Weird Sculptures And Statues
          From: darrellvip on 8/14/2008

 This PowerPoint Show shows the weirdest sculptures and 
 statues from around the world.

 Click 'HERE' to view this PowerPoint Show.

                            \\\//
                           -(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo======================
Subj:     Doctors Vs Guns
          From: jbcary1 on 6/21/2005
      and From: allenbergman on 8/13/2008

Doctors:

 (A) The number of doctors in the U.S. is 700,000.

 (B) Accidental deaths caused by physicians per year are 120,000.

 (C) Accidental deaths per physician is 17.14%.

 Statistics courtesy of the U.S.Dept of Health and Human Services

*************************************************************

Guns:

 (A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000
     (yes that's 80 million).

 (B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year,
     all age groups, is 1,500.

 (C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is 0.001875%.

 Statistics courtesy of the FBI

*************************************************************

 So statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more
 dangerous than gun owners.

*************************************************************

 Remember, guns don't kill people, doctors do.

*************************************************************

 FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS
 AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR.

*************************************************************

 Please alert your friends to this alarming threat.  We must
 ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand!!!

*************************************************************
 Out of concern for the public at large, I have withheld
 statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause
 people to panic and seek medical attention.

                            \\\//
                           -(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo======================
Subj:     Math Prob. - Dissecting A Heptagon
          by Philip J. Carter and Kenneth A. Russell 
          From the book "IQ Test" on 7/27/2008
             Published by Sterling Pub. Co., Inc., in 2008
             387 Park Avenue South, New York, N.Y. 10016
             Test #3, Problem #1, Page 48

 In how many ways is it possible to dissect a heptagon?  Click 
 below to see the pictures, the problem's description, and 
 its solution.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/m_files/m4c-heptagon.html

                            \\\//
                           -(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo======================
Subj:     Math Prob. - The Squarest Game
          From the book
            "Mathematical Puzzles of Sam Loyd"
          Edited by Martin Gardner 
          From: Dover Publications in 1959

 How can you score exactly fifty points?  Click below to see 
 the picture, the problem's description, and its solution.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/m_files/m4c-coney.html

                            \\\// 
                           -(o o)- 
========================oOO==(_)==OOo======================
.
Laughing Smiley from
flovilla on 9/23/2005

.
.
.