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Subj:     Truck Vs Train           From: BoneheadOfTheDayAward@yahoogroups.com           on 8/17/2008

 Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbKdXgJZB-8

 If you drive an 18-wheeler and you stop because the railroad 
 gates just came down, do you 
    1) wait for the train to pass? 
    2) seek an alternative route, 
 or 3) floor it hoping that at 1 MPH you'll make 
       it over the track before the train comes? 
 You can view this rather interesting 1 minute video by 
 clicking on the above source, or you can view it on my 
 web site by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/truck/train.html

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Subj:     The Wizard of Id           By Parker and Hart           From: Creators.com on 8/14/2009

 Source: http://www.creators.com/today-comics.html

 You can read this cute comic strip on the benefits 
 of being single by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/people/d_files/dat1-id.html

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Subj:     Golfer And His Bride On The Honeymoon
          From: thebartend on 09/08/2000

 On their honeymoon the new husband told his bride, "I have 
 a confession that I should have made before, but I was 
 concerned that it might affect our relationship." 

 "What is it?" she asked. 

 "I'm a golfer," he said. 

 "What's the big deal about that?" she asked. 

 He replied, "When I say I'm a golfer, I mean that I'll be 
 on the course Saturday, Sunday, Wednesday afternoon, and 
 any holidays.  If it comes to a choice between your wishes 
 and golf - golf wins." 

 She pondered a moment and said, "I thank you for your 
 honesty.  In the same spirit of honesty, I should tell 
 you that I've concealed something about my own past that 
 you should know about.  I'm a hooker." 

 "No problem," was his response, "just widen your stance a 
 little and overlap your grip and that should clear right up." 

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Subj:     Another Classic Peanuts By Charles Schultz           From: WashingtonPost.com           on 8/17/2008

 Source: http://members.comics.com/members/common
........./affiliateArchive.do?site=washpost&comic=peanuts

 You can view this Classic Peanuts comic strip about 
 psychology on my web site by clicking below

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/after_m/psych-supp-peanuts3.html

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Subj:     Frank And Ernest           by Bob Thaves           From: WashingtonPost.com on 8/16/2008

 Source: http://members.comics.com/members/common
........./affiliateArchive.do?site=washpost&comic=franknernest

 You can view this cute comic strip about football practice 
 by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/sports/a_to_z/foot-supp-frank.html

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Subj:     Secrets Of Women's Language
          From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 8/14/2001
      and From: tom on 8/16/2008

 Keywords and their meanings.

 1. FINE

 This is the word a woman uses at the end of any argument
 that she feels she is right about but needs to shut you up.
 NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks.  This will
 cause you to have one of those arguments.

 2. FIVE MINUTES

 This is half an hour.  It is equivalent to the five minutes
 that your football/hockey or whatever game is going to last
 before you take out the trash, so she feels that it's an
 even trade.

 3. NOTHING

 This means something and you should be on your toes.
 "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman
 has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and
 backwards.  "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that
 will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine".

 4. GO AHEAD (c/w Raised Eyebrows)

 This is a dare.  One that will result in a woman getting
 upset over "Nothing" and eventually cause an argument that
 will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine".

 5. GO AHEAD (w/out raised eyebrows)

 This means "I give up.  Do what you want because I don't
 care."  You will, however, get a Raised Eyebrow "Go Ahead"
 in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing", and a "Five
 Minute" argument ending with "Fine".

 6. LOUD SIGH

 Not actually a word of course but often a verbal cue
 misunderstood by men.  The "Loud Sigh" means she thinks
 you're an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time
 standing there having a "Five Minute" argument with you
 over "Nothing".

 7. SOFT SIGH

 One of the few sounds that some men actually understand.
 She is content.  Your best bet is not to move or breathe.
 Just stay clear.

 8. OH

 This word followed by any statement is trouble.  E.G. -
 "Oh, let me get that", which actually means you are
 obviously incapable and incompetent and cannot possibly
 complete the task to her particular standard.  Or "Oh,
 I already talked to the cable guy", which means she
 has inadvertently blown the cover on your secret extra
 outlets and black box.  Worse yet is, "Oh, I talked to
 him about what you did last night.
 

 9. THAT'S OKAY

 This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman
 can make to a man.  "That's Okay" means that she wants to
 think long and hard before paying you back for what ever
 it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used
 with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised
 Eyebrow."
 

 10. GO AHEAD!

 At some point in the near future, you are going to be in
 some mighty big trouble.
 

 11. PLEASE DO

 This is not a statement, it is an offer.  A woman is giving
 you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason
 you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You
 have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you
 shouldn't get a "That's Okay"
 

 12. THANKS

 A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.
 

 13. THANKS A LOT

 This is much different from "Thanks."  A woman will say,
 "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It
 signifies that you have offended her in some callous way,
 and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to
 ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only
 tell you "Nothing."

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Subj:     Dennis The Menace           by Hank Ketcham           From: WashingtonPost.com on 8/16/2008

 Source: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/artsandliving
........./comics/king_dennis_menace.html?name=Dennis_The_Menace

 You can view this cute comic strip of Dennis the Menace 
 praying to God by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/religion/c_to_r/god1-dennis.html

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Subj:     Buddy Gets His Nose Checked           From: ginafm on 8/13/2008

 You can view this cute cartoon by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/occupations/b_to_l/doc-supp-ophthalmogist.html#dog

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Subj:     Irish Looses Luggage In Airport
          From: janeenmarie on 3/9/2003

 An Irishman arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered
 around the terminal with tears streaming down his
 cheeks.  An airline employee asked him if he was
 already homesick. "No," replied the Irishman. "I've
 lost all me luggage!"
 "How'd that happen?"
 "The cork fell out!" said the Irishman.

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Subj:     Another Foolish Trivia           From: Conta Costa Times on Monday, August 18, 2008 Animated GIF from gordonschuk

 This is another “Name That Company” which tells you facts
 about a famous company and asks you to name the company.
 Click below to play.

 http://jokelibrary.net/occupations/b_to_l/job-stuff-supp-trivia.html#16

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Smiley and eyebrows from Imogenelumen on 12/17/2003