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Subject: The Sunday Morning Laughs #607b
         Date: 9/21/2008
 

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Subj:     Verizon Customer Makes A Phone Call
          From: gattica30
          on 8/21/2008
 Source: http://www.break.com/usercontent/2008/7
........./Verizon-Wireless-Surprises-Customer-537412.html

 In this movie a Verizon customer makes a phone call with 
 amazing results.  You can view this movie at the above 
 source, or on my web site by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/n_to_v/phone-supp-verison.html

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Subj:     Butter vs. Margarine
          From: gordonschuk on 8/17/2008
Drawing from Snopes.com
 Source: http://www.snopes.com/food/warnings/butter.asp

 The Difference Between Butter And Margarine? 

 Both have the same amount of calories, butter is slightly 
 higher in saturated fats at 8 grams compared to 5 grams. 
 Eating margarine can increase heart disease in women by 
 53% over eating the same amount of butter according to a 
 recent Harvard Medical Study. 

 Eating butter increases the absorption of many other 
 nutrients in other foods, butter has many nutritional 
 benefits where margarine has a few only because they are 
 added!  Butter tastes much better than margarine and it 
 can enhance the flavors of other foods.  Butter has been 
 around for centuries where margarine has been around for 
 less than 100 years. 

 Now for Margarine, very high in trans fatty acids triple 
 risk of Coronary Heart Disease, increases total and LDL 
 (This is the bad Cholesterol), lowers HDL cholesterol and 
 this is the good one, increases the risk of cancers by up 
 to five fold, lowers quality of breast milk, decreases 
 immune response, and decreases insulin response. 

 And here is the most disturbing fact...... 

 Margarine is but one molecule from being PLASTIC..... 
 (This fact alone was enough to have me avoiding margarine 
 for life and anything else that is hydrogenated, this 
 means hydrogen is added changing the molecular structure 
 of the food.) 

 You can try this for yourself, purchase a tub of margarine 
 and leave it in your garage or shaded area, within a couple 
 of days you will note a couple of things, no flies, not 
 even those pesky fruit flies will go near it, (that should 
 tell you something) it does not rot, smell differently... 
 Because it has no nutritional value, nothing will grow on 
 it, even those teeny weeny microorganisms will not find a 
 home to grow... Why? 

 Because it is nearly plastic.  Would you melt your Tupperware 
 and spread that on your toast? 

 This article is mostly true as reported by Snopes.com at 
 the above source.

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Subj:     Real Or Fake Pictures
          From: renonblum on 8/20/2008
  These photos have been circulating around the internet. 
 Are they real or fake?  Try and decide if they are or 
 not before you see what is written underneath each picture.
 Click below to test you’re your common sense.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/yyPictures/real_or_fake.html

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Subj:     Swearing Parrot Meets Christian Parrots
          From: crtoth516 on 08/29/2000 
      and From: ginafm on 8/21/2008 

 A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, 'Father, 
 I have a problem.  I have two female parrots, but they 
 only know how to say one thing.' 

 'What do they say?' the priest inquired. 

 They say, 'Hi, we're hookers!  Do you want to have some fun?' 

 That's obscene!' the priest exclaimed, 

 Then he thought for a moment. 'You know,' he said, 'I may 
 have a solution to your problem.  I have two male talking 
 parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible. 
 Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put 
 them in the cage with Francis and Peter.  My parrots can 
 teach your parrots to praise and worship, and your parrots 
 are sure to stop saying that phrase in no time.' 

 Thank you,' the woman responded, 'this may very well be 
 the solution.' 
 

 The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's 
 house.  As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male 
 parrots were inside their cage holding rosary beads and 
 praying.  Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots 
 in with them. 

 After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison: 
 Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?' 

 There was stunned silence.  Shocked, one male parrot looked 
 over at the other male parrot and exclaimed, 'Put the beads 
 away, Frank.  Our prayers have been answered!'

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Subj:     True Love Never Dies
          From: darrellvip on 5/1/2008
      and From: edbabcock on 8/24/2008

 These 2 guys reared this lion from a baby in England but
 the authorities would not allow them to keep it once it
 reached maturity so they were forced to give it up, they
 took it back to Africa and placed it in a wildlife sanctuary,
 a year later they went to see it and were told it would not
 remember them.

 This video is totally different that the movie Darrell
 sent on May 1,2009.  Click below to view it.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/animals/a_to_c/big_cats-friend2.html

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Subj:     No Child Left Behind - Football Version
          From: bweidel on 8/23/2008 

 The football version of what is going on in education 
 right now. (If you're not an educator, this may not make 
 a lot of sense to you.  But send it to your friends who 
 are in education.  They will love it!) 

 For all the educators. In or out of the system. 

 NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND-FOOTBALL VERSION! 

 1. All teams must make the state playoffs and all MUST win 
 the championship.  If a team does not win the championship, 
 they will be on probation until they are the champions, 
 and coaches will be held accountable.  If after two years 
 they have not won the championship their footballs and 
 equipment will be taken away UNTIL they do win the 
 championship. 

 2. All children will be expected to have the same football 
 skills at the same time even if they do not have the same 
 conditions or opportunities to practice on their own.  NO 
 exceptions will be made for lack of interest in football, 
 a desire to perform athletically, or genetic abilities or 
 disabilities of themselves or their parents. 

 ALL KIDS WILL PLAY FOOTBALL AT A PROFICIENT LEVEL! 

 3. Talented players will be asked to workout on their own, 
 without instruction.  This is because the coaches will be 
 using all of their instructional time with the athletes 
 who aren't interested in football, have limited athletic 
 ability or whose parents don't like football. 

 4. Games will be played year round, but statistics will 
 only be kept in the 4th, 8th, and 11th game. 

 It will create a New Age of Sports where every school is 
 expected to have the same level of talent and all teams 
 will reach the same minimum goals.  If no child gets 
 ahead, then no child gets left behind.

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Subj:     The Wizard of Id
          by Parker and Hart
Drawing from Creators.com...
 Source: http://www.creators.com/today-comics.html

 You can view this cute comic strip about golf by clicking
 below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/sports/a_to_z/golf1-id.html

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Subj:     Has Couple Found Formula To Win Lottery?
          From: WNBC.com on 8/23/2009 
 Source: http://www.wnbc.com/money/17263616/detail.html?taf=ny

 MADISON, Wis. -- A double-lottery-winning couple in Dane 
 County doubled their winnings again.  Verlyn and Judith 
 Adamson of Mount Horeb each claimed a $350,000 jackpot 
 this week for having the winning numbers in the state 
 SuperCash drawing last Saturday.  But they didn't mention 
 at the time that they also held two more of the winning 
 tickets. 

 They claimed two more $350,000 jackpots Thursday.  All 
 four were purchased at different locations, but with the 
 same numbers and for the same drawing.  The total winnings 
 increased to $1.4 million, or about $955,000 after taxes. 

 The Adamsons left a voice message on their phone saying 
 they wouldn't have any public comment and referring any 
 questions to their lawyer Scott Thompson. 

 Verlyn Adamson, an accountant, said earlier in the week 
 that he's a big fan of math puzzles.  He claims he 
 developed a formula for lottery picks, but his winnings 
 have been small until now. 

 Thompson said the Adamsons are "exploring patent 
 protection" for the equation. 

 But Steven Post, a mathematics professor at Edgewood 
 College in Madison, said there is no way to devise a 
 strategy for finding the winning numbers in a game that 
 uses randomly generated numbers to determine the winning 
 combination. 

 The only proven strategy would be to "buy all the tickets," 
 he said.

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Subj:     Bizarro Comics
          by Dan Piraro on 8/23/2008
Drawing from Bizarro.com
 Source: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv
........./artsandliving/comics/king_bizarro.html?name=Bizarro

 This comic strip deals with the modern superhero. 
 You can view it by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/people/a_files/sup-bizarro.html

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.
Calvin in Sunglasses from
GIFMania

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