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Subject: The Sunday Morning Laughs #608b
         Date: 9/28/2008
 

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Subj:     Nude Gymnastics
          From: darrellvip on 8/24/2008

 This will definitely raise the interest in this sport. 
 Click below to view this movie.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/sports/a_to_z/track-nude.html

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Subj:     Saying Confession Of Being With A Loose Woman
          From: Imogenelumen on 7/24/2003
      and From: ginafm on 9/2/2008

 Tommy goes into a confessional box and says, "Bless me
 father for I have sinned, I have been with a loose woman".

 The Priest says, "Is that you Tommy?"

 "Yes father, it's me."

 "Who was the woman you were with?"

 "I cannot tell you, father.  I don't want to ruin her
 reputation."

 The priest asks, "Was it Brenda O'Malley?"

 "No father."

 "Was it Fiona MacDonald?"

 "No."

 "Was it Ann Brown?"

 "No."

 "Was it Mary Elizabeth O'Shea?"

 "No father."

 "Was it Amy Thomas?"

 "No father."

 "Was it little Cathy Morgan?"

 "NO father! I cannot tell you."

 The priest finally says, "Tommy, I admire your perseverance,
 but you must atone for your sins.  Your pennace will be four
 Our Fathers and five Hail Marys. Go back to your seat."

 Tommy walks back to his pew and his buddy Sean slides over
 and whispers, "What happened?!"

 "Well, I got four Our Fathers, five Hail Marys, and six
 good leads."

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Subj:     Incredible Fishing Movie
          From: rfslick on 9/2/2008

 This fishing movie is amazing.  By the end of the movie, 
 you start to wonder if the fish will sink the boat.  Click 
 below to view this movie on my web site.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/sports/fish/f1-incredible.html

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Subj:     Lawyer Runs A Stop Sign
          From: tom on 9/1/2008 

 Only in Texas my friends... Only in Texas ..... Too bad...... 

 A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's 
 deputy.  He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because 
 he is a lawyer from New York and is certain that he has a 
 better education then any cop from Houston, Texas.  He 
 decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the 
 Texas deputy's expense. 

 The deputy says,' License and registration, please.' 

 'What for?' says the lawyer. 

 The deputy says, 'You didn't come to a complete stop at the 
 stop sign.' 

 Then the lawyer says, 'I slowed down, and no one was coming.' 

 'You still didn't come to a complete stop, Says the deputy. 
 License and registration, please.' 

 The lawyer says, 'What's the difference?' 

 'The difference is you have to come to complete stop, that's 
 the law  License and registration, please!' the Deputy says. 

 Lawyer says, 'If you can show me the legal difference between 
 slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration; 
 and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't 
 give me the ticket.' 

 'That sounds fair.  Please exit your vehicle, sir,' the 
 deputy says. 

 At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts 
 beating the daylights out of the lawyer and says, 'Do you want 
 me to stop, or just slow down?'

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Subj:     A Volcano In Chili Erupts
          From: darrellvip on 9/2/2008

 Several days ago, a volcano that had been dormant for 
 9,000 years near the coast of Chile erupted spectacularly, 
 hurling liquified metals and lightning many miles into 
 the sky.  The results, which you will see is called a 
 'dirty thunderstorm,' and are quite rare. 

 Nobody is certain what causes them, but according to 
 National Geographic it's believed to be 'the result of 
 rock fragments, ash, and ice particles in the plume 
 colliding to produce static charges just as ice particles 
 collide to create charge in regular thunderstorms.' 

 Click below to view these five amazing photos.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/after_m/sci1-volcano.html

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Subj:     Sears Catalog Order
          From: tom on 9/2/2008 

 Two rednecks were looking at a Sears catalog and admiring 
 the models.  One says to the other, 'Have you seen the 
 beautiful girls in this here catalog?' 

 The second one replies, 'Yep, they are very beautiful, 
 and look at the price, ooowweee!! 

 The first one says, with wide eyes, 'Wow, they aren't 
 very expensive.  At this price, I'm buying one.' 

 The second one smiles and pats him on the back. 'Good idea 
 Jed'.  Order one and if she's as beautiful as she is in 
 the catalog, I'll  get one too.' 

 Three weeks later, the youngest redneck asks his friend, 
 'Did you ever receive the girl you ordered from the Sears 
 catalog?' 

 The second redneck replies, 'No, but she shouldn't be long 
 now, cuz she mailed me all her underwear yesterday.

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Subj:     Mallard Comic Strip II
          by Bruce Tinsley
          From: SeattlePi.com on 9/4/2008
 Source: http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/fun/mallard.asp?date=20080831

 In this comic strips Mallard has "Back-to-School Memories" 
 Click below to view this cartoon.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/after_m/sch-supp2-mall2.html

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Subj:     British Soldiers Return From Falkland
          From: ipkis on 97-06-01 
      and From: ron33333 on 9/4/2008 

 A British General had sent some of his men off to fight for 
 their country in the Falkland Island Crisis. 

 Upon returning to England from the South American island, 
 three soldiers that had distinguished themselves in battle 
 were summoned to the General's office.  "Since we weren't 
 actually at war," the General began, "I can't give out any 
 medals. We did, however, want to let each of you know your 
 efforts were appreciated. What we've decided to do is to let 
 each of you choose two points on your body.  You will be 
 given 2 pounds sterling for each inch of distance between 
 those parts.  We'll start on the left, boys,  so what'll it 
 be?" 

 Soldier 1: "The tip of me head to me toes, sahr!" 
 General: "Very good son, that's 70 inches which comes to 
 140 pounds" 

 Soldier 2: "The tip of the finger on one outstreched hand to 
 the tip of the other, sir!" 
 General: "Even better son, that's 72 inches which comes to 
 144 pounds" 

 Soldier 3: "The tip of me dick to me balls, sahr!" 
 General: "That's a strange request, but drop trou, son! 

 As the general begins the measurement: "My god, son, where 
 are your balls?" 
 Soldier 3: "Falkland Island, sahr!" 

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Subj:     LOGIC PROB. - Missing Word
          by Philip Carter and Kenneth A. Russell
          From the book "IQ Test" on 9/3/2008
             Published by Sterling Pub.Co., Inc.
             387 Park Avenue South, New York, N.Y.
             Test #5, Problem #1, Page 83

 What word should replace the question mark?  Click below
 to see the full drawing, and solution.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/m2/m4cS-word.html

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Worm from Animated Image © Kitty Roach

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