Subject: The
Sunday Morning Laughs #608b
Date: 9/28/2008
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Subj:
Nude Gymnastics
From: darrellvip on 8/24/2008 |
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This will definitely raise
the interest in this sport.
Click below to view this
movie.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/sports/a_to_z/track-nude.html
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Subj: Saying
Confession Of Being With A Loose Woman
From: Imogenelumen on 7/24/2003
and From: ginafm on 9/2/2008
Tommy goes into a confessional
box and says, "Bless me
father for I have sinned,
I have been with a loose woman".
The Priest says, "Is that
you Tommy?"
"Yes father, it's me."
"Who was the woman you were
with?"
"I cannot tell you, father.
I don't want to ruin her
reputation."
The priest asks, "Was it Brenda
O'Malley?"
"No father."
"Was it Fiona MacDonald?"
"No."
"Was it Ann Brown?"
"No."
"Was it Mary Elizabeth O'Shea?"
"No father."
"Was it Amy Thomas?"
"No father."
"Was it little Cathy Morgan?"
"NO father! I cannot tell
you."
The priest finally says, "Tommy,
I admire your perseverance,
but you must atone for your
sins. Your pennace will be four
Our Fathers and five Hail
Marys. Go back to your seat."
Tommy walks back to his pew
and his buddy Sean slides over
and whispers, "What happened?!"
"Well, I got four Our Fathers,
five Hail Marys, and six
good leads."
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Subj:
Incredible Fishing Movie
From: rfslick on 9/2/2008 |
This fishing movie is amazing.
By the end of the movie,
you start to wonder if the
fish will sink the boat. Click
below to view this movie
on my web site.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/sports/fish/f1-incredible.html
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Subj: Lawyer
Runs A Stop Sign
From: tom on 9/1/2008
Only in Texas my friends...
Only in Texas ..... Too bad......
A lawyer runs a stop sign
and gets pulled over by a sheriff's
deputy. He thinks that
he is smarter than the deputy because
he is a lawyer from New York
and is certain that he has a
better education then any
cop from Houston, Texas. He
decides to prove this to
himself and have some fun at the
Texas deputy's expense.
The deputy says,' License
and registration, please.'
'What for?' says the lawyer.
The deputy says, 'You didn't
come to a complete stop at the
stop sign.'
Then the lawyer says, 'I slowed
down, and no one was coming.'
'You still didn't come to
a complete stop, Says the deputy.
License and registration,
please.'
The lawyer says, 'What's the
difference?'
'The difference is you have
to come to complete stop, that's
the law License and
registration, please!' the Deputy says.
Lawyer says, 'If you can show
me the legal difference between
slow down and stop, I'll
give you my license and registration;
and you give me the ticket.
If not, you let me go and don't
give me the ticket.'
'That sounds fair. Please
exit your vehicle, sir,' the
deputy says.
At this point, the deputy
takes out his nightstick and starts
beating the daylights out
of the lawyer and says, 'Do you want
me to stop, or just slow
down?'
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Subj:
A Volcano In Chili Erupts
From: darrellvip on 9/2/2008 |
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Several days ago, a volcano
that had been dormant for
9,000 years near the coast
of Chile erupted spectacularly,
hurling liquified metals
and lightning many miles into
the sky. The results,
which you will see is called a
'dirty thunderstorm,' and
are quite rare.
Nobody is certain what causes
them, but according to
National Geographic it's
believed to be 'the result of
rock fragments, ash, and
ice particles in the plume
colliding to produce static
charges just as ice particles
collide to create charge
in regular thunderstorms.'
Click below to view these
five amazing photos.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/after_m/sci1-volcano.html
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Subj: Sears
Catalog Order
From: tom on 9/2/2008
Two rednecks were looking
at a Sears catalog and admiring
the models. One says
to the other, 'Have you seen the
beautiful girls in this here
catalog?'
The second one replies, 'Yep,
they are very beautiful,
and look at the price, ooowweee!!
The first one says, with wide
eyes, 'Wow, they aren't
very expensive. At
this price, I'm buying one.'
The second one smiles and
pats him on the back. 'Good idea
Jed'. Order one and
if she's as beautiful as she is in
the catalog, I'll get
one too.'
Three weeks later, the youngest
redneck asks his friend,
'Did you ever receive the
girl you ordered from the Sears
catalog?'
The second redneck replies,
'No, but she shouldn't be long
now, cuz she mailed me all
her underwear yesterday.
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Subj:
Mallard Comic Strip II
by Bruce Tinsley
From: SeattlePi.com on 9/4/2008 |
Source: http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/fun/mallard.asp?date=20080831
In this comic strips Mallard
has "Back-to-School Memories"
Click below to view this
cartoon.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/after_m/sch-supp2-mall2.html
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Subj: British
Soldiers Return From Falkland
From: ipkis on 97-06-01
and From: ron33333 on 9/4/2008
A British General had sent
some of his men off to fight for
their country in the Falkland
Island Crisis.
Upon returning to England
from the South American island,
three soldiers that had distinguished
themselves in battle
were summoned to the General's
office. "Since we weren't
actually at war," the General
began, "I can't give out any
medals. We did, however,
want to let each of you know your
efforts were appreciated.
What we've decided to do is to let
each of you choose two points
on your body. You will be
given 2 pounds sterling for
each inch of distance between
those parts. We'll
start on the left, boys, so what'll it
be?"
Soldier 1: "The tip of me
head to me toes, sahr!"
General: "Very good son,
that's 70 inches which comes to
140 pounds"
Soldier 2: "The tip of the
finger on one outstreched hand to
the tip of the other, sir!"
General: "Even better son,
that's 72 inches which comes to
144 pounds"
Soldier 3: "The tip of me
dick to me balls, sahr!"
General: "That's a strange
request, but drop trou, son!
As the general begins the
measurement: "My god, son, where
are your balls?"
Soldier 3: "Falkland Island,
sahr!"
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Subj:
LOGIC PROB. - Missing Word
by Philip Carter and Kenneth A. Russell
From the book "IQ Test" on 9/3/2008
Published by Sterling Pub.Co., Inc.
387 Park Avenue South, New York, N.Y.
Test #5, Problem #1, Page 83 |
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What word should replace the
question mark? Click below
to see the full drawing,
and solution.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/m2/m4cS-word.html
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