Subject: The
Sunday Morning Laughs #609c
Date: 9/5/2008
You can also view old ‘Sunday Morning
Laughs’ at
http://jokelibrary.net/archive/index.html
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Subj:
Opus Comic Strip
By Berkeley Breathed Sept. 7, 2007
From: Salon.com on 9/16/2008 |
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Source: http://www.salon.com/comics/opus/2007/09/16/opus/
This Opus comic strip discusses
Opus' trip on a commercial
plane. You can view
this wonderful comic strip at the
above source, or on my web
site by clicking below.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/plane/p1-opus.html
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Subj: Father,
Son, Grandpa, and Blonde Play Golf
From: thebartend on 8/23/2002
A father, son and grandson
go out to the country club for
their weekly round of golf.
Just as they reach the first
tee, a beautiful young blonde
woman carrying her bag of
clubs approaches them.
She explains that the member who
brought her to the club for
a round of golf had an emergency
which called him away and
asks the trio whether she can join
them. Naturally, the
guys all agree.
Smiling, the blonde thanks
them and says, "Look, fellows,
I work in a bar as an exotic
dancer, so nothing shocks me
anymore. If any of
you wants to smoke, have a beer, bet,
take a leak, swear or tell
off-color stories or do anything
that you normally do when
playing a round together, go
ahead. But I enjoy
playing golf, consider myself pretty
good at it, so don't try
to coach me on how to play my
shots." With that the
guys agree to relax and invite her
to drive first.
All eyes are fastened on her
shapely behind as she bends
to place her ball on the
tee. She then takes her driver
and hits the ball 270 yards
down the middle, right in front
of the green.
The father's mouth is agape.
"Wow that was beautiful."
The blonde puts her driver
away and says, "I really didn't
get into it and I should
have faded it a little."
After the three guys hit their
drives and their second
shots (she was closest to
the pin) the blonde takes out a
nine iron and lofts the ball
within five feet of the hole.
The son says, "Damn, lady,
you played that perfectly."
The blonde frowns and says,
"It was a little weak. I've
left a tricky little putt."
After the son buries a long
putt for a par, dad two putts
for a bogey and granddad
overruns the green with his
pitching wedge, chips back
and putts for a double bogey,
the blonde taps in the five-footer
for a birdie.
The guys all congratulate
her on her fine game.
She puts her putter back in
the bag and says, "Thanks,
but I really haven't played
much lately, and I'm a little
rusty. Maybe I'll really
get into the next drive."
Having the honors she drives
first on the second hole and
knocks the hell out of the
ball, and it lands nearly 300
yards away smack in the middle
of the fairway. For the
rest of the round the statuesque
blonde continues to amaze
the guys, quietly and methodically
shooting for par or
less on every hole.
When the get to the 18th green,
the blonde is three under
par, but has a nasty 12-foot
putt on an undulating green
for a par.
She turns to the guys and
says, "I really want to thank
you for not acting like a
bunch of chauvinists and telling
me what club to use or how
to play a shot, but I need this
putt for a 69 and I'd really
like to break 70 on this
course. If any one
of you can tell me how to make par
on this hole, I'll take him
back to my apartment, pour
some 25-year old single malt
in him, fix him a dinner and
then have sex with him the
rest of the night."
The yuppie son jumps at the
thought. He strolls across
the green, carefully eyes
the line of the putt and finally
says, "Honey, aim for about
3 inches to the right of the
hole and hit it firm.
It will get over the little hump
and break right into the
cup."
The father kneels down and
sights the putt using his
putter as a plumb.
"Don't listen to the kid, darlin',
you want to hit it softly
10 inches to the right and run
it left down that little
hogback, so it falls into the cup."
The old gray-haired grandfather
walks over to the blonde's
ball on the green, picks
it up and hands it to her. "That's
a gimme, sweetheart Your
car or mine?"
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Subj:
Blondie Comic Strip
by Dennis Young and Denis Lebrun
From: WashingtonPost.com on 9/11/2008 |
Source: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/artsandliving
........./comics/king_blondie.html?name=Blondie
This comic strip discusses
the high price of gas and
bicycles. You can see
it on my web site by clicking
below.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/b_to_e/bicycle-blondie.html
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Subj: Soft
Breasts And Hard Dicks
From: Scott's Joke Archive on 5/31/97
and From: CKButch4Femme on 9/11/2008
A man is in a hotel lobby.
He wants to ask the clerk a
question. As he turns
to go to the front desk, he
accidentally bumps into a
woman beside him and as he does,
his elbow goes into her breast.
They are both quite startled.
The man turns to her and
says, "Ma'am, if your heart
is as soft as your breast, I
know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "if your penis
is as hard as your elbow, I'm
in room 436"
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Subj:
Andy Capp Comic Strip
By Reg Smythe
From: WashingtonPost.com on 9/12/2008 |
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Source: http://comics.washingtonpost.com/11_comics_andy-capp.html
This comic strip discusses
love at first sight.
You can read it on my site
by clicking below.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/b_to_e/bar1-capp.html
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Subj: Preacher
Accused Of Being In Klan
From: collins2 on 7/10/00
and From: ginafm on 9/8/2008
The southern preacher rose
with a red face. "Someone in
this congregation has spread
a rumor that I belong to the
K.K.K. This is a horrible
lie and one which a Christian
community cannot tolerate.
I am embarrassed and do not
intend to accept this. Now I
want the party who did this
to stand and ask forgiveness
from God and this Christian
family."
No one moved. The preacher
continued, "Do you not have the
nerve to face me and admit
this is a falsehood. Remember,
you will be forgiven and
in your heart you will feel glory.
Now stand and confess your
transgression."
Again all was quiet.
Slowly a "drop dead" gorgeous blonde
with a body that would not
stop rose from the third pew.
Her head was bowed and voice
quivered as she spoke.
"Reverend there has been a
terrible misunderstanding. I
never said you were a member
of the Klu Klux Klan. I told a
couple of my friends that
you were a wizard under the sheets."
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Subj:
B.C. Comic Strip
By Mason Mastroianni, grandson of Johnny Hart
From: Creators.com on 9/12/2008 |
Source: http://www.creators.com/today-comics.html
This comic strip discusses
the origin of golf.
You can view this comic strip
by clicking below.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/sports/a_to_z/golf1-bc.html
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Subj: Blonde
Gets Windows Installed
From: Anaise on 3/26/2002
and From: tom on 9/8/2008
A young blonde lady had the
windows in her house replaced
with new double-insulated
energy efficient windows.
Twelve months later she gets
a call from the contractor,
complaining that the work
has been done for a year and
she has yet to make the first
payment.
The blonde replies, "Now don't
try to pull a fast one on
me! The salesman who
sold me those told me that in one
year they would pay for themselves."
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Subj:
LOGIC PROB. - Shapes Sequence
by Philip J. Carter and Kenneth A. Russell
From the book "IQ Test" on 9/9/2008 |
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Published by Sterling Pub. Co., Inc., in 2008
387 Park Avenue South, New York, N.Y. 10016
Test #5, Problem #13, Page 89
Which shape continues the
sequence?
Click below to see the pictures,
and its solution.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/m2/m4cS-shapes.html
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Subj:
Cue Bidding The Opponent’s Suit
From: BridgeClues.com on 9/9/2008
Drawing from ArtZooks.com |
This wonderful web site has
daily problems if you click on
the bidding drop down menu.
Today's hand #2123 discusses
cue bidding the opponent’s
suit. Click below to see this
bridge problem.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/g2/a_bridge_column65.html
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