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Subject: The Sunday Morning Laughs #609c
         Date: 9/5/2008
 

You can also view old ‘Sunday Morning Laughs’ at 
http://jokelibrary.net/archive/index.html
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Subj:     Opus Comic Strip
          By Berkeley Breathed Sept. 7, 2007
          From: Salon.com on 9/16/2008
 Source: http://www.salon.com/comics/opus/2007/09/16/opus/

 This Opus comic strip discusses Opus' trip on a commercial 
 plane.  You can view this wonderful comic strip at the 
 above source, or on my web site by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/plane/p1-opus.html

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Subj:     Father, Son, Grandpa, and Blonde Play Golf
          From: thebartend on 8/23/2002

 A father, son and grandson go out to the country club for
 their weekly round of golf.  Just as they reach the first
 tee, a beautiful young blonde woman carrying her bag of
 clubs approaches them.  She explains that the member who
 brought her to the club for a round of golf had an emergency
 which called him away and asks the trio whether she can join
 them.  Naturally, the guys all agree.

 Smiling, the blonde thanks them and says, "Look, fellows,
 I work in a bar as an exotic dancer, so nothing shocks me
 anymore.  If any of you wants to smoke, have a beer, bet,
 take a leak, swear or tell off-color stories or do anything
 that you normally do when playing a round together, go
 ahead.  But I enjoy playing golf, consider myself pretty
 good at it, so don't try to coach me on how to play my
 shots."  With that the guys agree to relax and invite her
 to drive first.

 All eyes are fastened on her shapely behind as she bends
 to place her ball on the tee.  She then takes her driver
 and hits the ball 270 yards down the middle, right in front
 of the green.

 The father's mouth is agape.  "Wow that was beautiful."

 The blonde puts her driver away and says, "I really didn't
 get into it and I should have faded it a little."

 After the three guys hit their drives and their second
 shots (she was closest to the pin) the blonde takes out a
 nine iron and lofts the ball within five feet of the hole.

 The son says, "Damn, lady, you played that perfectly."

 The blonde frowns and says, "It was a little weak.  I've
 left a tricky little putt."

 After the son buries a long putt for a par, dad two putts
 for a bogey and granddad overruns the green with his
 pitching wedge, chips back and putts for a double bogey,
 the blonde taps in the five-footer for a birdie.

 The guys all congratulate her on her fine game.

 She puts her putter back in the bag and says, "Thanks,
 but I really haven't played much lately, and I'm a little
 rusty.  Maybe I'll really get into the next drive."

 Having the honors she drives first on the second hole and
 knocks the hell out of the ball, and it lands nearly 300
 yards away smack in the middle of the fairway.  For the
 rest of the round the statuesque blonde continues to amaze
 the guys, quietly and methodically shooting for par or
 less on every hole.

 When the get to the 18th green, the blonde is three under
 par, but has a nasty 12-foot putt on an undulating green
 for a par.

 She turns to the guys and says, "I really want to thank
 you for not acting like a bunch of chauvinists and telling
 me what club to use or how to play a shot, but I need this
 putt for a 69 and I'd really like to break 70 on this
 course.  If any one of you can tell me how to make par
 on this hole, I'll take him back to my apartment, pour
 some 25-year old single malt in him, fix him a dinner and
 then have sex with him the rest of the night."

 The yuppie son jumps at the thought.  He strolls across
 the green, carefully eyes the line of the putt and finally
 says, "Honey, aim for about 3 inches to the right of the
 hole and hit it firm.  It will get over the little hump
 and break right into the cup."

 The father kneels down and sights the putt using his
 putter as a plumb.  "Don't listen to the kid, darlin',
 you want to hit it softly 10 inches to the right and run
 it left down that little hogback, so it falls into the cup."

 The old gray-haired grandfather walks over to the blonde's
 ball on the green, picks it up and hands it to her.  "That's
 a gimme, sweetheart Your car or mine?"

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Subj:     Blondie Comic Strip
          by Dennis Young and Denis Lebrun
          From: WashingtonPost.com on 9/11/2008
 Source: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/artsandliving
........./comics/king_blondie.html?name=Blondie

 This comic strip discusses the high price of gas and 
 bicycles.  You can see it on my web site by clicking
 below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/b_to_e/bicycle-blondie.html

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Subj:     Soft Breasts And Hard Dicks
          From: Scott's Joke Archive on 5/31/97
      and From: CKButch4Femme on 9/11/2008

 A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a
 question.  As he turns to go to the front desk, he
 accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does,
 his elbow goes into her breast.

 They are both quite startled.  The man turns to her and
 says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I
 know you'll forgive me."

 She replies, "if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm
 in room 436"

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Subj:     Andy Capp Comic Strip
          By Reg Smythe
          From: WashingtonPost.com on 9/12/2008
 Source: http://comics.washingtonpost.com/11_comics_andy-capp.html

 This comic strip discusses love at first sight. 
 You can read it on my site by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/b_to_e/bar1-capp.html

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Subj:     Preacher Accused Of Being In Klan
          From: collins2 on 7/10/00
      and From: ginafm on 9/8/2008

 The southern preacher rose with a red face.  "Someone in
 this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the
 K.K.K.  This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian
 community cannot tolerate.

 I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this.  Now I
 want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness
 from God and this Christian family."

 No one moved. The preacher continued, "Do you not have the
 nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood.  Remember,
 you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory.
 Now stand and confess your transgression."

 Again all was quiet.  Slowly a "drop dead" gorgeous blonde
 with a body that would not stop rose from the third pew.
 Her head was bowed and voice quivered as she spoke.

 "Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding.  I
 never said you were a member of the Klu Klux Klan.  I told a
 couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."

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Subj:     B.C. Comic Strip
          By Mason Mastroianni, grandson of Johnny Hart
          From: Creators.com on 9/12/2008
 Source: http://www.creators.com/today-comics.html

 This comic strip discusses the origin of golf. 
 You can view this comic strip by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/sports/a_to_z/golf1-bc.html

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Subj:     Blonde Gets Windows Installed
          From: Anaise on 3/26/2002
      and From: tom on 9/8/2008

 A young blonde lady had the windows in her house replaced
 with new double-insulated energy efficient windows.

 Twelve months later she gets a call from the contractor,
 complaining that the work has been done for a year and
 she has yet to make the first payment.

 The blonde replies, "Now don't try to pull a fast one on
 me!  The salesman who sold me those told me that in one
 year they would pay for themselves."

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Subj:     LOGIC PROB. - Shapes Sequence
          by Philip J. Carter and Kenneth A. Russell 
          From the book "IQ Test" on 9/9/2008 
             Published by Sterling Pub. Co., Inc., in 2008 
             387 Park Avenue South, New York, N.Y. 10016 
             Test #5, Problem #13, Page 89 

 Which shape continues the sequence? 
 Click below to see the pictures, and its solution.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/m2/m4cS-shapes.html

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Subj:     Cue Bidding The Opponent’s Suit
          From: BridgeClues.com on 9/9/2008
Drawing from ArtZooks.com

 This wonderful web site has daily problems if you click on 
 the bidding drop down menu.  Today's hand #2123 discusses 
 cue bidding the opponent’s suit.  Click below to see this
 bridge problem.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/g2/a_bridge_column65.html
 

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Calvin and Hobbes from
GIFMania

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