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Subject: The Sunday Morning Laughs #610
         Date: 9/12/2008
 

 "Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or
  a wig.  How many of them will own up to a lack of humor?"
    -- Frank Moore Colby
 

Thanks for the great jokes you guys keep sending.  If
I havenít sent out a certain joke for four years, I am
now sending the best ones out a second time.
 

Go to http://jokelibrary.net/a_joke_library.html
to read the great jokes you have sent me through the years.
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Subj:     New Internet Presidential Candidate
          From: edapsmas
          on 10/10/2008
 Subj: http://www.tsgnet.com/pres.php?id=46832?altf=Sptjf?altl=Txju9fs

 A new candidate has stepped forward to challenge Obama
 and McCain for the presidency.  The follwing is a link
 to a new video about this candidate.  This internet video
 is cool and amazing.  You can view it at the above source,
 or on my web site by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/polit/polit-supp2-internet.html

 Thank you Jim for sending me this very unusual video.

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Subj:     Adam Bender Plays Baseball
          From: tom
          on 9/18/2008
 Source: http://www.heraldleaderphoto.com/2008/05/31/adam-bender/

 Adam Bender, 8, is one of several kids who plays catcher in 
 Southeasternís rookie league at Veterans Park.  What makes 
 Adam stand out is that he plays one of the toughest positions 
 on the field with only one leg.  Because of cancer, he had 
 his left leg amputated when he was one.  Adam doesnít use a 
 prosthesis, and only uses crutches when he reaches base for 
 the Astros.  You can view a video of Adam playing baseball 
 at the above source, or on my web site by clicking below.

 http://jokelibrary.net/sports/a_to_z/baseball-bender.html

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Subj:     The Monkey Market
          From: ginafm on 10/7/2008 

 Once upon a time in a place overrun with monkeys, a man 
 appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy 
 monkeys for $10 each. 

 The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, 
 went out to the forest, and started catching them.  The man 
 bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, 
 they became harder to catch, so the villagers stopped their 
 effort. 

 The man then announced that he would now pay $20 for each 
 one.  This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they 
 started catching monkeys again.  But soon the supply 
 diminished even further and they were ever harder to catch, 
 so people started going back to their farms and forgot about 
 monkey catching.  The man increased his price to $25 each 
 and the supply of monkeys became so sparse that it was an 
 effort to even see a monkey, much less catch 
 one. 

 The man now announced that he would buy monkeys for $50! 
 However, since he had to go to the city on some business, 
 his assistant would now buy on his behalf. 

 While the man was away the assistant told the villagers. 
 "Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man 
 has bought.  I will sell them to you at $35 each and when 
 the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him 
 for $50 each." 

 The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all 
 the monkeys.  They never saw the man nor his assistant 
 again and once again there were monkeys everywhere. 

 Now you have a better understanding of how the stock market 
 works. 

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Subj:     27 New Sidewalk Drawings
          From: gattica30 on 9/14/2008

 This guy just gets better!  You can view these twenty-seven, 
 wonderful sidewalk drawings by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/occupations/art/street2/s.html

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Subj:     Blind Man And A Family Wait For A Bus
          From: thebartend on 1/21/2004
      and From: gattica30 on 9/18/2008

 A husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop, and with
 them are their nine children.  A blind man joins them after
 a few minutes.  When the bus arrives, they discover it to
 be overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able
 board the bus.

 So the husband and the blind man decide to walk.  After a
 while the husband gets irritated by the ticking noise the
 stick makes as the blind man taps it on the sidewalk and
 says to him:

 "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end your stick?
 That ticking sound is driving me crazy! "

 The blind man replies: "If you would've put a rubber on the
 end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut up!

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Subj:     Bored At The Office
          From: darrellvip on 8/27/2008
Photo fromYahoo! Search...

 This man's hacky sack skills in this video are 
 amazing.  Don't skip this movie.  Click 'Here' 
 to view it.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/occupations/b_to_l/jobs-supp-bored.html

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Subj:     Italian Jew Confesses WWII Sins
          From: CHRISDADDYG on 2/13/2002 

 An elderly Italian jewish man wanted to unburden his guilty 
 conscience by talking to this rabbi.  "Rabbi, during World 
 War II, when the Germans entered Italy, I pretended to be a 
 Catholic and changed my name from Levy to Spumoni, and I am 
 alive today because of it." 

 "Self preservation is allowable, and the fact that you never 
 forgot that you were a Jew is admirable," said the rabbi. 

 "Rabbi, during the war, a beautiful Jewish woman knocked on 
 my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans.  I hid 
 her in my attic, and they never found her." 

 "That was a wonderful thing you did, and you have no need 
 to feel guilty." 

 "It's worse, Rabbi.  I was weak and told her she must repay 
 me with sexual favors, which she did, repeatedly." 

 "You were both in great danger and would have suffered 
 terribly if the ermans had found her.  There is a favorable 
 balance between good and evil, and you will be judged 
 kindly.  Give up your feelings of guilt." 

 "Thank you, Rabbi. That's a great load off my mind.  But I 
 have one more question." 

 "And what is that?" 

 "Should I tell her the war is over?" 

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Subj:     My Brain's Age
          From: jcary on 9/18/2008
Drawing from Flickr.com
 Source: http://flashfabrica.com/f_learning/brain/brain.html

 Procedure for Flash Fabrica Game: 

 1. Touch 'start' 

 2. Wait for 3, 2, 1. 

 3. Memorize the number's position on the screen, then click 
    the circle from the smallest number to the biggest number. 
    Example, 0, 4, 8, 9 

 4. At the end of game, computer will tell your brain's age. 

 5. If you want to start over, just refresh the screen view. 

 You can play this silly, cute game/test at the above source, 
 or on my web site by clicking 'HERE'. 

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/after_m/psych-supp-age.html

 JCary's brain age is 32 and on my first try, I got an age 
 of 52.  Good luck !!

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Subj:     Elmer Goes A Courting
          From: Bawdy.Net Collage #295 on 3/24/99

 Pappy sees Elmer walking with a lantern and asks,
 "Where ya going boy?"

 The son smiled and replied, "I'm a-going courting
 Peggy-Sue."

 The Father said, "When I went a-courtin', I didn't
 need me no dang lantern."

 "Sure Pa, I know." the boy said. "And look what
 you got!"

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Subj:    Math Prob. - Letters For Numbers 
         From: Puzzles And Brain Teasers
         on 9/12/2008
Drawing from
InklingBlog.com
 Source: http://www.apuzzlezone.com/adailypuzzle/09-12-08.html

 The following addition example uses letters instead of 
 numbers. Each letter must be replaced with a number-the 
 same number each time the letter appears.  The puzzle 
 will then be correct mathematically. 

                               OH 
                               OH 
                               OH 
                               OH 
                              ____ 
                               NO
 

 The solution can be found on my web site by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/m2/m4cS-4_numbers.html

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Subj:     Math Prob. - The Yacht Race
          From the book
            "Mathematical Puzzles of Sam Loyd"
          Edited by Martin Gardner
          From: Dover Publications in 1959

 How long did it take the yacht to win the race?  You can 
 view the problem's description, drawing, and solution 
 on my web site by clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/m2/m4cS-yacht.html

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Laughing Smiley from
flovilla on 9/23/2005

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