Subject: The
Sunday Morning Laughs #615b
Date: 11/16/2008
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Subj:
Bob Nelson's Classic Football Routine
From: tom on 10/8/2008
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Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BerJdS2VJhA
From the 1980s, Bob Nelson
was just starting his comedy
career. This movie
was made at Dangerfield's Comedy Club
of his famous football routine.
Either go to the above
source, or click below to
see this very funny standup act!
http://www.jokelibrary.net/sports/a_to_z/foot-supp-nelson.html
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Subj:
Farmer And His Three Daughters II
Animated by Doogtoons
From: darrellvip on 10/20/2008 |
Click below to see this animation
of an old classic joke.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/occupations/b_to_l/far1-daughters.html
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Subj: The
Ambidextrous Golfer
From: KMacinty on 11/02/1999
and From: DoctorDebt on 5/10/2005
Four guys who worked together
always golfed as a group at 7:00
a.m. on Sunday. Unfortunately,
one of them got transferred out
of town and they were talking
about trying to fill out the four-
some. A woman standing
near the tee said, "Hey, I like to golf,
can I join the group?"
They were hesitant, but said she could
come once to try it and they
could see what they thought. They
all agreed and she said,
"Good, I'll be there at 6:30 or 6:45."
She showed up right at 6:30,
played right-handed, and wound up
setting a course record with
a 7-under par round. The guys went
nuts and everyone in the
clubhouse congratulated her. Meanwhile,
she was fun and pleasant
the entire round. The guys happily
invited her back the next
week and she said "Sure, I'll be here
at 6:30 or 6:45."
Again, she showed up at 6:30
Sunday morning. Only this time,
she played left-handed, and
matched her 7-under par score of the
previous week. By now
the guys were totally amazed, and they
asked her to join the
group for keeps.
They had a beer after their
round, and one of the guys asked her,
"How do you decide if you're
going to golf right-handed or left-
handed?" She said,
"That's easy. Before I leave for the golf
course, I pull the covers
off my husband, who sleeps in the nude.
If his member is pointing
to the right, I golf right-handed; if
it's pointed to the left,
I golf left-handed."
One of the guys asked, "What
if it's pointed straight up?"
She said, "Then I'll be here
at 6:45."
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Subj:
Opus Comic Strip III
By Berkeley Breathed June 10, 2007
From: Salon.com on 10/25/2008 |
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Source: http://www.salon.com/comics/opus/2007/06/10/opus/
In this comic strip Opus discusses
Davie Dinkle, who has
two mothers. You can
read this cute, topics cartoon at
the above source, or on my
web site by clicking below.
http://jokelibrary.net/sex/b_to_h/gays-supp-opus.html
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Subj:
Parachute Jump
From: tom
on 10/24/2008 |
Source: http://www.bassfiles.net/parachute.swf
You can play this cute, simple,
difficult game at the
above source, or on my web
site by clicking below.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/g2/parachute.html
The game plays better at the
above source than on my site.
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Subj: Dad
Explains The Facts Of Life
From: thebartend on 8/30/2001
A father was explaining the
facts of life to his teenage
son. After covering
the basic biology, he moved on to the
finer points of love-making.
Their conversation went as
follows:
The Dad: One thing to
keep in mind, son, is that different
women say different things
during the sex act, even if you
are doing the same thing.
The Son: What do you
mean, Dad?
The Dad: Well, for example,
their words will vary according
to their occupation.
For example, a prostitute will tend to
say, "Are you done yet?"
On the other hand, a nymphomaniac
will ask, "Are you done already?"
The Son: What do other
women say?
The Dad: Well, a school
teacher will say, "We are going to
do this over and over again
until you get it right!" A
nurse will say, "This won't
hurt one bit."
The Son: I thought they
said, "Pull down your pants and
bend over."
The Dad: That's male
nurses. But let's move on, a bank
teller will say, "Substantial
penalty for early withdrawal."
A stewardess will say, "Place
this over your mouth and nose
and breathe normally."
The Son: And what does
mom say?
The Dad: She says, "Beige...
beige... I think we should
paint the ceiling beige."
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Subj:
Headlines From 2004 And 2008
by Eric Allie
From: TownHall.com on 11/5/2008 |
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Source: http://townhall.com/cartoons/cartoonist/EricAllie/2008/11/3
This political cartoon is
interesting. Click below to view it.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/polit/obama-news.html
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Subj:
Sniffer The Dog
From: darrellvip
on 10/8/2008 |
Click below to see this funny
video. The narrative
is in Spanish.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/animals/d_to_z/dog-supp-sniffer2.html
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Subj: Priest
And A Hair Dryer On A Plane
From: ginafm on 10/22/2008
Getting a hairdryer through
customs...
A distinguished young woman
on a flight from Ireland asked
the Priest beside her, 'Father,
may I ask a favor?' 'Of
course, child. What
may I do for you?'
Well, I bought an expensive
woman's electronic hair dryer
for my mother's birthday
that is unopened and well over
the Customs limits, and I'm
afraid they'll confiscate it.
Is there any way you could
carry it through customs for me?
Under your robes perhaps?'
'I would love to help you,
dear, but I must warn you: I
will not lie.'
'With your honest face, Father,
no one will question you.'
When they got to Customs,
she let the priest go ahead of her.
The official asked, 'Father,
do you have anything to declare?'
'From the top of my head down
to my waist, I have nothing to
declare.'
The official thought this
answer strange, so asked, 'And
what do you have to declare
from your waist to the floor?'
'I have a marvelous instrument
designed to be used on a
woman, but which is, to date,
unused.'
Roaring with laughter, the
official said, 'Go ahead, Father.
Next!'
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Subj:
Foolish Trivia
From: The Contra Costa Times on 10/25/2008
Animated
GIF from gordonschuk...
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This is another “Name That
Company” which tells you facts
about a famous company and
asks you to name the company.
Click below to play.
http://jokelibrary.net/occupations/b_to_l/job-stuff-supp-trivia.html#22
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Subj: Short
Jokes That Made Me Laugh Or Smile
Subj: Donkey
Vs Turkey
From: tom on 10/22/2008
Just think...if the Indians
had given the Pilgrim Fathers
a donkey instead of a turkey
we would all be having a
piece of ass for Thanksgiving!
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