Subject: The
Sunday Morning Laughs #617
Date: 11/30/2008
"He who laughs, lasts."
-- Mary Pettibone
Poole
The best jokes I receive each week
are from you folks.
If you get a good joke please pass
it on to me, I enjoy
a good laugh and it cut down the
work. If you don't get
you Sunday Laughs, or want a back
issue, drop me a note.
I also sending out an EDITED version
of SUNDAY MORNING
LAUGHS if you have kids.
Let me know if you would prefer
this 'PG Edition'.
Go to http://jokelibrary.net/a_joke_library.html
to read the great jokes you have
sent me through the years.
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In "Sunday Morning Laughs"
#616c was an article titled
"Stunt Plane Loses Its Wing"
where a video shows a stunt
plane losing its right wing
and land safely. Snopes.com
says that this video is
probably a fake. You
can read their report by clicking
http://www.snopes.com/photos/airplane/onewing.asp
Thanks Chris for catching
this error. If you see other
errors in the Sunday Morning
Laughs, please email me.
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Subj:
Kevin James' Magic
From: tom on 11/4/2008
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Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chvsqMgPKhk
Master Magician Kevin James
performing at the Las Vegas
"callbacks" on America's
Got Talent. I had no clue how
he did this amazing illusion
until I saw the next video
below. Click below
to see this wonderful but gory movie.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/occupations/s_to_z/z_oth-supp-james.html
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Subj:
Kevin James' Magic *Explanation*
From: YouTube on 11/4/2008
Photo from YouTube |
Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXcJsgUqK-E
Detailed (possible) explanation
of Kevin James' performance
on AGT. Because of
the attention this video has received,
I'd like to point out that
this one explanation is almost
certainly inaccurate to some
degree. I only used the AGT
footage and had no extra
information. Click below to
learn how the 'Kevin James'
Magic' video may have been done.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/occupations/s_to_z/z_oth-supp-explained.html
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Subj: Divorce
On Thanksgiving
From: Imogenelumen on 11/24/2003
and From: LABLaughs on 11/18/2008
A man in Phoenix calls his
son in New York the day before
Thanksgiving and says, "I
hate to ruin your day, but I have
to tell you that your mother
and I are divorcing; forty-
five years of misery is enough."
"Pop, what are you talking
about?" the son screams.
"We can't stand the sight
of each other any longer," the
father says.
"We're sick of each other,
and I'm sick of talking about
this, so you call your sister
in Chicago and tell her."
Frantic, the son calls his
sister, who explodes on the phone.
"No way they're getting divorced!"
she shouts, "I'll take
care of this."
She calls Phoenix immediately
and screams at her father,
"You are not getting divorced.
Don't do a single thing
until I get there.
I'm calling my brother back, and we'll
both be there tomorrow. Until
then, don't do a thing, DO
YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone
and turns to his wife. "Okay,"
he says, "they're coming
for Thanksgiving and paying their
own way."
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This amazing fountain is in
Canal City Hakata in Fukuota,
Japan. This new high
tech fountain paints beautiful
pictures with water.
It will spell out "Welcome to Canal
City" in the middle of this
amazing show. I could sit and
watch this for hours.
You can see it at the above source,
or on my web site by clicking
below.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/nationalities/asian/as-fountain.html
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Subj: Not
Wanting To Go To School
..........From:
humorlist-digest V2 #33 on 98-02-03
Early one morning, a mother
went in to wake up her son.
"Wake up, son. It's time to
go to school!"
"But why, Mom? I don't
want to go."
"Give me two reasons why you
don't want to go."
"Well, the kids hate me for
one, and the teachers hate
me, too!"
"Oh, that's no reason not
to go to school. Come on now
and get ready."
"Give me two reasons why I
*should* go to school."
"Well, for one, you're 52
years old. For another,
you're the PRINCIPAL!"
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Subj:
Turkey Trivia Quiz
From: gattica30 on 11/23/2008
Photo from PageWorks |
Source: http://home.aristotle.net/Thanksgiving/trivia.asp
This twenty question quiz
will test how much you know about
turkeys and Thanksgiving.
You can take it at the above
source, or on my web site
bt clicking below.
http://jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/n_to_v/th-quiz/quiz.html
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Subj: Learning
To Play Golf
I believe this one is best
done with a bit'a the brogue
after a wee sip. Me
wife says to me one day, "Tain't it
about time you learned to
play this golf thing that all
the other husbands are play'n?"
So I goes next door and says
to me neighbor, "Can you teach
me to play golf?"
He: "Sure. Have you got any
balls and club?"
Me: "?.....of course. Why?"
H: "Well bring'em to the club
house tomorrow and
we'll T-off."
M: "?T-off? Whats this
T-off?"
H: "Oh, it's just a golf term
and we'll T-off right next
to the clubhouse."
M: "Look, you T-off where
ever you want to but I'll T-off
in private if
you don't mind."
H: "(chuckle) No no, a T's
that little thing about the
size of your
little finger."
M: (them damn women been talk'n
again)
H: "Look, the first thing
you do is stick you T in the
ground and put
you ball on top of it."
M: "Oh, this is sit down game?"
H: "No, your standing up when
you put your ball on the T."
M: "Is'nt that stretch'n things
a bit far"?
H: "No. You got a bag to go
along with your balls'n clubs"?
M: "?.....of course. Why?"
H: "Zippered bag or velcro"?
M: "?...........neither."
H: "Oh, well how do you hold
you club"?
I: "Two fingers."
H: "No, no. That's not
right. Look let me get around
behind you like
this. Now spread your feet apart a bit.
Bend over a
bit. Now I'll put my arms around you and
show you how
to swing."
M: "Damn man, I spent six
years in the Navy and I know what
you got on your
mind.
H: "Ok, look, you take your
club and swing it over your
shoulder..."
M: "No, no, that's me brother
Jimmy you be think'n of."
H: "...and you hit your ball
with it and it'll soar and soar."
M: "I can well believe that."
H: "Then when your on the
green..."
M: "What's the green thing"?
H: "Ah, that's where the hole
is."
M: "You color blind"?
H: "No, why"? "...anyway,
when you get there, you take
your putter..."
M: "Whats a putter"?
H: "Smallest club made."
M: (Damn that woman, just
can't keep her mouth shut).
H: "...and with it you put
the ball in the hole."
M: "You mean the putter"?
H: "No, the ball, the hole
isn't big enough for the ball
and the putter."
M: "Well, that's when I knew
he didn't know what he was
talk'n about.
Cuz I seen holes big enough for a horse-
n-wagon."
H: "Then after the first hole,
you go on to the next 17."
M: "I quit. Takes me
18 days to make one hole. Besides,
how would I
know when I in the 18th one"?
H: "Why, the holes got a flag
in it."
M: Sheeez!
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Subj:
Secret Service Code Names
From: CKButch4Femme on 11/5/2008
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Source: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content
......../article/2007/06/16/AR2007061601079.html?hpid=topnews
This article from the Washington
Post, written during
the primaries, explains the
use of "Code Names" used by
the Secret Service to protect
the President and the
presidential candidates.
Click below and learn how
President-Elect Barack Obama
got the tag: "Renegade."
http://jokelibrary.net/occupations/p_files/pol-supp-names.html
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Subj: "Cats
Are Like?"
From: humorlist-digest V2 #204 on 98-09-01
(See 'Our Best Friends?' in DOGS2)
1. Cats do what they want,
when they want.
2. They rarely listen to
you.
3. They're totally unpredictable.
4. They whine when they
are not happy.
5. When you want to play
they want to be left alone.
6. When you want to be alone,
they want to play.
7. They expect you to cater
to their every whim.
8. They're moody.
9. They leave their hair
everywhere.
10. They drive you nuts.
Conclusion: Cats are like
little, tiny women
in cheap fur coats.
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Subj:
Puzzle - Count The Triangles III
by Philip J. Carter and Kenneth A. Russell
From the book "IQ Test" on 11/3/2008
Published by Sterling Pub.Co., Inc.,2008
387 Park Avenue South, New York, N.Y.
Test #9, Problem #31, Page 164 |
How many triangles are there
in the above figure?
Click below to see the larger
drawing, and solution.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/m2/m4cS-triangles.html
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Subj: Things
That Can Kill You
From: LABLaughsAdult on 10/5/2005
Fifteen days ago, I read that
smoking can kill you. The next
day I stopped smoking.
Twelve days ago, I read that
too much red meat can kill you.
The next day I stopped eating
red meat..
Eight days ago, I read that
drinking can kill you.
The next day I stopped drinking.
Yesterday, I read that having
sex can kill you.
This morning I stopped reading.
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Subj:
Math Prob. - A Puzzling Mixture
From the book
"Mathematical Puzzles of Sam Loyd"
Edited by Martin Gardner
From: Dover Publications in 1959 |
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With how much water did the
milkman dilute each of his
two cans of milk? You
can view this problem, drawing,
and solution on my web site
by clicking below.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/m2/m4cS-milkman.html
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