Subject: The
Sunday Morning Laughs #620
Date: 12/21/2008
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"He who laughs, lasts."
-- Mary Pettibone
Poole
The best jokes I receive each week
are from you folks.
If you get a good joke please pass
it on to me, I enjoy
a good laugh and it cut down the
work. If you don't get
you Sunday Laughs, or want a back
issue, drop me a note.
I also sending out an EDITED version
of SUNDAY MORNING
LAUGHS if you have kids.
Let me know if you would prefer
this 'PG Edition'.
Go to http://jokelibrary.net/a_joke_library.html
to read the great jokes you have
sent me through the years.
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Subj:
Pilobolus On Late Night
With Conan O'Brien
From: darrellvip on 11/24/2008 |
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Source: http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1699230
........./pilobolus_late_night_with_conan_obrien/
Pilobolus is a shadow dance
group which does amazing shows.
In this video they are performing
on Late Night With
Conan O'Brien. You
can view this great show at the above
source, or on my web site
by clicking below.
http://jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/g_to_m/movies_etc-supp2-pilobolus1.html
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Subj:
Pilobolus at the 79th Oscars
From: YouTube.com on 11/26/2008
Photo from GoogleSearch |
Source2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OS7uz-kRDA
You can watch Pilobolus at
the 79th Oscars hosted by
Elen Degeneres at the above
source, or on my web site
by clicking below.
http://jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/g_to_m/movies_etc-supp2-pilobolus2.html
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Subj: Boy
Goes To Whore House With Dead Frog
From: Scott's Joke Archive on 5/31/97
and From: darrellvip on 11/29/2008
There was a 10 year old boy
walking down the sidewalk
dragging a flattened frog
on a string behind him. He
walked up to a house of ill
repute and knocked on the
door. When the Madam
answered it, she saw the little
boy and asked what he wanted.
He said, 'I want to have
sex with one of the women
inside. I have the money and
I'm not leaving until I do.'?
The Madam figured, why not,
so she told him to come in.
Once in, she told him to
pick any of the girls he liked.
He asked, 'Do any of the
girls have any diseases?' Of
course, the Madam said no,
but the boy replied, 'I heard
all the men talking about
having to get shots after making
it with Amber. So THAT'S
the girl I want!'
Since the little boy was so
adamant and had the money to
pay for it, the Madam told
him to go to the first room on
the right. He headed
down the hall dragging the squashed
frog behind him.
Ten minutes later he came
back, still dragging the frog,
paid the Madam, and headed
out the door. The Madam stopped
him and asked, 'Why did you
pick the only girl in the place
with a disease, instead of
one of the others?'
He said, 'Well, if you must
know, tonight when I get home,
my parents are going out
to a restaurant to eat, leaving me
at home with my baby sitter.
After they leave, my baby
sitter will have sex with
me because she just happens to be
very fond of little boys.
She will get the disease that I
just caught.
When Mom and Dad get back,
Dad will take the baby sitter
home. On the way, he'll
jump her bones, and he'll catch
the disease. Then when
Dad gets home from the baby sitters,
he and Mom will go to bed
and have sex, and Mom will catch
it. In the morning
when Dad goes to work, the milkman will
deliver the milk, have a
quickie with Mom and catch the
disease and he's the son-of-a-bitch
who ran over my frog!
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Can you throw a shoe and hit
President Bush?
You can play the game at
the above source, or
on my web site by clicking
below.
http://jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/polit/bush-supp-shoes.html
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Subj: Playing
With Irving's Ashes
From: KMacinty on 12/22/1999
and From: JBCARY1 0n 6/16/2003
Martha recently lost her husband.
She had him cremated and
brought his ashes home.
Picking up the urn he was in, she
poured him out on the patio
table.
"Irving, you know the dishwasher
you promised me? I bought
it with the insurance money!"
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She paused for a minute tracing
her fingers in the ashes
then said, "Irving, remember
the car you promised me? Well,
I also bought it with the
insurance money!".
Again, she paused for a few
minutes and tracing her fingers
in the ashes said, "Irving,
that diamond ring you promised
me? Bought it too,
with the insurance money!".
Finally, still tracing her
fingers in the ashes, she said,
"Irving, remember that blow
job I promised you? Here it
comes..."
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Subj:
Dollar Koi Fish
by Won Park
From: tom on 11/4/2008 |
Source:
http://www.origami-resource-center.com
........./support-files/dollarkoifish.pdf
This is the side view of the
"Dollar Koi Fish". It is made
with only one dollar.
The bill is folded with no cuts, no
glue, and no tape.
Notice the rounder head and defined
pectoral fins.
You can see a larger photo
and learn to make your own
"Dollar Koi Fish" at the
above source, or on my web site by
clicking below.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/banking_pictures/koi/koi.html
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Subj: Well
Known Phrases
From: LABLaughsClean on 11/19/2008
See how many of these well
known phrases you can recognize
without the use of a dictionary
or a thesaurus.
1. Scintillate, scintaillate,
asteroid minific
2. Surveillance should precede
caltation
3. Members of an avian species
of identical plumage
congregate
4. Pulchritude possesses
solely cutaneous profundity
5. It is fruitless to become
lachrymose over precipitately
departed
lacteal fluid
6. Freedom from incrustations
of grime is contiguous to
rectitude
7. The stylus is more potent
than the scimitar
8. It is fruitless to attempt
to indoctrinate a
superannuated
canine with innovative maneuvers
9. Eschew the implement of
correction and vitiate the
scion
10. The temperature of the
aqueous content of an
unremittingly
ogled saucepan does not reach 212
degrees
F.
11. All articles that coruscate
with resplendence are
not truly
suriferous.
12. Where there are visible
vapors having their
prevalence
in ingnited carbonaceous materials, there
is conflagration.
Answers:
1. Twinkle, twinkle, little
star.
2. Look before you leap.
3. Birds of a feather flock
together.
4. Beauty is only skin deep.
5. No use crying over spilt
milk.
6. Cleanliness is next to
godliness.
7. The pen is mightier than
the sword.
8. Can't teach an old dog
new tricks.
9. Spare the rod and spoil
the child.
10. A watched pot never boils.
11. All that glitters is not
gold.
12. Where there's smoke, there's
fire.
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Subj:
Math Prob. - Taxi Driver's Number
From: Puzzles And Brain Teasers
on 11/20/2008 |
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Drawing from
InklingBlog.com |
Source: http://www.apuzzlezone.com/adailypuzzle/11-20-08.html
The driver of the taxicab
was wanting in civility, so Mr.
Wilkins asked him for his
number. "You want my number, do
you?" said the driver.
"Well, work it out for yourself.
If you divide my number by
2, 3, 4, 5, or 6 you will find
there is always 1 over; but
if you divide it by 11 there
ain't no remainder.
What's more, there is no other driver
with a lower number who can
say the same."
What was the fellow's number?
The solution can be found
on my web site by clicking below.
http://jokelibrary.net/education/m2/m4cS-taxi.html
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Subj:
Puzzle - Primitive Railroading
From the book
"Mathematical Puzzles of Sam Loyd"
Edited by Martin Gardner
From: Dover Publications in 1959 |
Find the simplest method by
which the trains can pass.
You can see this problem's
description, drawing, and
solution on my web site by
clicking below.
http://jokelibrary.net/education/m2/m4cS-railroad.html
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