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Subject: The Sunday Morning Laughs #620
         Date: 12/21/2008
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Santa in Chimney from The Teachers Lounge
"He who laughs, lasts."
    -- Mary Pettibone Poole
 

The best jokes I receive each week are from you folks.
If you get a good joke please pass it on to me, I enjoy
a good laugh and it cut down the work.  If you don't get
you Sunday Laughs, or want a back issue, drop me a note.

I also sending out an EDITED version of SUNDAY MORNING
LAUGHS if you have kids.  Let me know if you would prefer
this 'PG Edition'.
 

Go to http://jokelibrary.net/a_joke_library.html
to read the great jokes you have sent me through the years.
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Subj:     Pilobolus On Late Night
             With Conan O'Brien
          From: darrellvip on 11/24/2008
 Source: http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1699230
........./pilobolus_late_night_with_conan_obrien/

 Pilobolus is a shadow dance group which does amazing shows. 
 In this video they are performing on Late Night With 
 Conan O'Brien.  You can view this great show at the above 
 source, or on my web site by clicking below.

http://jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/g_to_m/movies_etc-supp2-pilobolus1.html

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Subj:     Pilobolus at the 79th Oscars
          From: YouTube.com on 11/26/2008
Photo from GoogleSearch
 Source2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OS7uz-kRDA

 You can watch Pilobolus at the 79th Oscars hosted by 
 Elen Degeneres at the above source, or on my web site 
 by clicking below.

http://jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/g_to_m/movies_etc-supp2-pilobolus2.html

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Subj:     Boy Goes To Whore House With Dead Frog
          From: Scott's Joke Archive on 5/31/97
      and From: darrellvip on 11/29/2008

 There was a 10 year old boy walking down the sidewalk
 dragging a flattened frog on a string behind him.  He
 walked up to a house of ill repute and knocked on the
 door.  When the Madam answered it, she saw the little
 boy and asked what he wanted.  He said, 'I want to have
 sex with one of the women inside.  I have the money and
 I'm not leaving until I do.'? 

 The Madam figured, why not, so she told him to come in.
 Once in, she told him to pick any of the girls he liked.
 He asked, 'Do any of the girls have any diseases?'  Of
 course, the Madam said no, but the boy replied, 'I heard
 all the men talking about having to get shots after making
 it with Amber.  So THAT'S the girl I want!'

 Since the little boy was so adamant and had the money to
 pay for it, the Madam told him to go to the first room on
 the right.  He headed down the hall dragging the squashed
 frog behind him.

 Ten minutes later he came back, still dragging the frog,
 paid the Madam, and headed out the door.  The Madam stopped
 him and asked, 'Why did you pick the only girl in the place
 with a disease, instead of one of the others?'

 He said, 'Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home,
 my parents are going out to a restaurant to eat, leaving me
 at home with my baby sitter.  After they leave, my baby
 sitter will have sex with me because she just happens to be
 very fond of little boys.  She will get the disease that I
 just caught.

 When Mom and Dad get back, Dad will take the baby sitter
 home.  On the way, he'll jump her bones, and he'll catch
 the disease.  Then when Dad gets home from the baby sitters,
 he and Mom will go to bed and have sex, and Mom will catch
 it.  In the morning when Dad goes to work, the milkman will
 deliver the milk, have a quickie with Mom and catch the
 disease and he's the son-of-a-bitch who ran over my frog!

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Subj:     The Bush Game
          From: Rosie on 12/18/2008
Source: http://www.kroma.no/2008/bushgame/

 Can you throw a shoe and hit President Bush? 
 You can play the game at the above source, or 
 on my web site by clicking below.

 http://jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/polit/bush-supp-shoes.html

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Subj:     Playing With Irving's Ashes
          From: KMacinty on 12/22/1999
      and From: JBCARY1 0n 6/16/2003

 Martha recently lost her husband.  She had him cremated and
 brought his ashes home.  Picking up the urn he was in, she
 poured him out on the patio table.

 "Irving, you know the dishwasher you promised me?  I bought
 it with the insurance money!" .

 She paused for a minute tracing her fingers in the ashes
 then said, "Irving, remember the car you promised me?  Well,
 I also bought it with the insurance money!".

 Again, she paused for a few minutes and tracing her fingers
 in the ashes said, "Irving, that diamond ring you promised
 me?  Bought it too, with the insurance money!".

 Finally, still tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said,
 "Irving, remember that blow job I promised you?  Here it
 comes..."

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Subj:     Dollar Koi Fish
          by Won Park
          From: tom on 11/4/2008
 Source: http://www.origami-resource-center.com
........./support-files/dollarkoifish.pdf

 This is the side view of the "Dollar Koi Fish".  It is made 
 with only one dollar.  The bill is folded with no cuts, no 
 glue, and no tape.  Notice the rounder head and defined 
 pectoral fins. 

 You can see a larger photo and learn to make your own 
 "Dollar Koi Fish" at the above source, or on my web site by 
 clicking below.

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/banking_pictures/koi/koi.html

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Subj:     Well Known Phrases
          From: LABLaughsClean on 11/19/2008 

 See how many of these well known phrases you can recognize 
 without the use of a dictionary or a thesaurus.

  1. Scintillate, scintaillate, asteroid minific 

  2. Surveillance should precede caltation 

  3. Members of an avian species of identical plumage 
     congregate 

  4. Pulchritude possesses solely cutaneous profundity 

  5. It is fruitless to become lachrymose over precipitately 
     departed lacteal fluid 

  6. Freedom from incrustations of grime is contiguous to 
     rectitude 

  7. The stylus is more potent than the scimitar 

  8. It is fruitless to attempt to indoctrinate a 
     superannuated canine with innovative maneuvers 

  9. Eschew the implement of correction and vitiate the 
     scion 

 10. The temperature of the aqueous content of an 
     unremittingly ogled saucepan does not reach 212 
     degrees F. 

 11. All articles that coruscate with resplendence are 
     not truly suriferous. 

 12. Where there are visible vapors having their 
     prevalence in ingnited carbonaceous materials, there 
     is conflagration. 

 Answers: 

  1. Twinkle, twinkle, little star. 

  2. Look before you leap. 

  3. Birds of a feather flock together. 

  4. Beauty is only skin deep. 

  5. No use crying over spilt milk. 

  6. Cleanliness is next to godliness. 

  7. The pen is mightier than the sword. 

  8. Can't teach an old dog new tricks. 

  9. Spare the rod and spoil the child. 

 10. A watched pot never boils. 

 11. All that glitters is not gold. 

 12. Where there's smoke, there's fire. 

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Subj:    Math Prob. - Taxi Driver's Number
         From: Puzzles And Brain Teasers
         on 11/20/2008 
Drawing from
InklingBlog.com
 Source: http://www.apuzzlezone.com/adailypuzzle/11-20-08.html

 The driver of the taxicab was wanting in civility, so Mr. 
 Wilkins asked him for his number.  "You want my number, do 
 you?" said the driver.  "Well, work it out for yourself. 
 If you divide my number by 2, 3, 4, 5, or 6 you will find 
 there is always 1 over; but if you divide it by 11 there 
 ain't no remainder.  What's more, there is no other driver 
 with a lower number who can say the same." 

 What was the fellow's number? 

 The solution can be found on my web site by clicking below.

 http://jokelibrary.net/education/m2/m4cS-taxi.html

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Subj:     Puzzle - Primitive Railroading
          From the book 
            "Mathematical Puzzles of Sam Loyd" 
          Edited by Martin Gardner 
          From: Dover Publications in 1959

 Find the simplest method by which the trains can pass. 
 You can see this problem's description, drawing, and 
 solution on my web site by clicking below.

 http://jokelibrary.net/education/m2/m4cS-railroad.html

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Merry Christmas from WebDeveloper.com

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