Subject: The
Sunday Morning Laughs #620c
Date: 12/21/2008
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You can also view old ‘Sunday Morning
Laughs’ at
http://jokelibrary.net/archive/index.html
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Subj:
North Dakota Oil
From: aldavito on 11/25/2008
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Source: http://www.snopes.com/politics/gasoline/bakken.asp
This U.S. Geological Service
report of oil in North Dakota
is interesting, but it's
stated estimate of 500 billion
barrels is too high according
to Snopes.com.
You can
read the article at the above
source, or on my web site
by clicking below.
http://jokelibrary.net/occupations/b_to_l/job-stuff-supp-oil.html
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Subj:
Santa Goes Hunting
From: rfslick
on 11/25/2008 |
Source: http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1076182/santa_goes_hunting/
You can view this silly, bloody,
puppet movie at the
above source, or on my web
site by clicking below.
http://jokelibrary.net/people/a_files/san-supp-hunting.html
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Subj: Lonely
Widow Buys Ugly Toad
From: PGSP4LIFE on 9/2/99
and From: rfslick on 11/22/2008
A widow was feeling rather
lonely and decided that the best
thing for her would be to
have a companion. So, off she went
to the pet shop. She
wasn't sure just what kind of pet she'd
like, so she figured she'd
just walk around until she found
just the 'right one.'
She went past the adorable little
puppies, past the playful
kittens, past the preening birds,
past the sleeping hamsters,
past the whirling gerbils, and
past the colorful fish.
Nothing really appealed to
her and seemed to be just what
she was looking for.
She decided to go around the store
again. On the way over
to the puppies, she walked by a
barrel. At the bottom
of the barrel was a rather nasty
looking toad. When
she looked in, he WINKED at her! Our
poor widow just shook herself!
She couldn't believe it.
She rather quickly went back
to the other pets on display.
Once again, she checked out
those sweet little puppies, the
darling kittens, the fluttering
birds, the fuzzy hamsters,
the sleek gerbils, and the
darting fish. Nothing really,
really did it for her.
She was starting to get discouraged.
So, she figured one last
time around, just in case she
missed something.
Going by the barrel again,
she took another peek. There
was that nasty toad, and
this time, he puckered up and
threw her a kiss!!
This was almost too much for the poor
widow and she just about
ran over to the other pets.
She tried hard to find just
the right one to take home with
her, but not one of those
cute puppies or silky kittens or
chirping birds or golden
hamsters or skinny gerbils or fancy
fish seemed right for her.
Totally discouraged by now, the
widow decide to go home.
On the way out of the shop,
she had to walk past the barrel
again. As she furtively
peeked in, the toad just gave her
the most beseeching look,
and he had a little tear on the
corner of his eye.
He even sniffed a bit. This was too
much for our widow, she started
heading for the exit in a
hurry.
All of a sudden it struck
her that this poor toad was
probably just as lonely as
she was. Not only that, but he
was so ugly that no one would
probably buy him, especially
not with all the other nice
pets available. So up to the
counter she marched, told
the salesperson she'd take the
toad, but requested that
he be put in a sturdy box. When
she got to her car, she placed
the box on the seat next to
her and proceeded to drive
home.
As she was driving along,
she heard some scratching coming
from the box. She tried
to ignore it for a bit, but then
thought that the toad might
need some air, so she opened
the box a bit. She
would glance over at the toad from time
to time, and he kept winking
at her and throwing her kisses.
She finally thought, "Oh
heck, what could it hurt?" and she
leaned over and KISSED him!
IMMEDIATELY the frog turned
into an absolutely gorgeous
sexy young handsome prince.
THE PRINCE THEN KISSED THE OLD
LADY BACK..........AND GUESS
WHAT THE OLD LADY TURNED INTO?
COME ON GUESS?
OOOOOOOHHHHHHH COME ON
SHE TURNED INTO THE FIRST
MOTEL SHE COULD FIND.
She's old.......NOT DEAD!!!!!
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Subj:
How Big Is Wal-Mart
From: tom on 11/29/2008
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Source: http://bitsandpieces.us/2008/11/25/how-big-is-wal-mart/
I’m not sure if these facts
about Wal-Mart are true, but
they are interesting.
You can read them at the above
source, or on my web site
by clicking below.
http://jokelibrary.net/occupations/b_to_l/jobs-supp-wal-mart.html
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Subj:
Frazz Comic Strip III
by Jeff Mallett
From: WashingtonPost.com on 11/25/2008 |
Source: http://comics.com/frazz/2008-11-25/
This short comic strip discusses
a problem unique
to schools. Click below
to see this comic strip.
http://jokelibrary.net/education/after_m/sch-supp2-frazz03.html
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Subj: Bride
Charges Husband
From: LABLaughsAdult on 5/30/2006
On their wedding night, the
young bride approached her new
husband and asked for $20.00
for their first lovemaking
encounter. In his highly
aroused state, her husband readily
agreed.
This scenario was repeated
each time they made love, for more
than 30 years, with him thinking
that it was a cute way for
her to afford new clothes
and other incidentals that she needed.
Arriving home around noon
one day, she was surprised to find
her husband in a very drunken
state. During the next few
minutes, he explained that
his employer was going through a
process of corporate downsizing,
and he had been let go. It
was unlikely that, at the
age of 59, he'd be able to find
another position that paid
anywhere near what he'd been
earning, and therefore, they
were financially ruined.
Calmly, his wife handed him
a bank book which showed more than
thirty years of steady deposits
and interest totaling nearly
$1 million. Then she showed
him certificates of deposits issued
by the bank which were worth
over $2 million, and informed him
that they were one of the
largest depositors in the bank.
She explained that for the
more than three decades she had
"charged" him for sex, these
holdings had multiplied and these
were the results of her savings
and investments. Faced with
evidence of cash and investments
worth over $3 million, her
husband was so astounded
he could barely speak, but finally
he found his voice and blurted
out, "If I'd had any idea what
you were doing, I would have
given you all my business!"
That's when she shot him.
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Subj:
The Apple Game
From: gordonschuk
on 11/29/2008 |
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Source: http://www.ferryhalim.com/orisinal/g2/applegame.htm
Catch the falling apples.
You can play this simple game at
the above source, or on my
web site by clicking below.
http://jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/g2/applegame.html
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Subj:
Winnie The Pooh Comic Strip
by Disney
From: Creators.com on 11/28/2006 |
Source: http://www.creators.com/today-comics.html
In this strip Pooh and Piglet
discuss fishing.
Click below to see this cartoon.
http://jokelibrary.net/sports/fish/f2-pooh.html
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Subj: Featherbrained
Fellow
From: LABLaughsClean on 11/19/2008
Feeling footloose and frisky,
a featherbrained fellow forced
his father to fork over his
farthings. Fast he flew to
foreign fields and frittered
his family's fortune, feasting
fabulously with floozies
and faithless friends. Flooded with
flattery he financed a full-fledged
fling of "funny foam" and
fast food.
Fleeced by his fellows in
folly, facing famine, and feeling
faintly fuzzy, he found himself
a feed-flinger in a filthy
foreign farmyard. Feeling
frail and fairly famished, he
fain would have filled his
frame with foraged food from the
fodder fragments.
"Fooey," he figured, "my father's
flunkies fare far fancier,"
the frazzled fugitive fumed
feverishly, facing the facts.
Finally, frustrated from failure
and filled with foreboding
(but following his feelings)
he fled from the filthy foreign
farmyard.
Faraway, the father focused
on the fretful familiar form in
the field and flew to him
and fondly flung his forearms
around the fatigued fugitive.
Falling at his father's feet,
the fugitive floundered forlornly,
"Father, I have flunked
and fruitlessly forfeited
family favor."
Finally, the faithful Father,
forbidding and forestalling
further flinching, frantically
flagged the flunkies to fetch
forth the finest fatling
and fix a feast.
Faithfully, the father's first-born
was in a fertile field
fixing fences while father
and fugitive were feeling festive.
The foreman felt fantastic
as he flashed the fortunate news
of a familiar family face
that had forsaken fatal foolishness.
Forty-four feet from the
farmhouse the first-born found a
farmhand fixing a fatling.
Frowning and finding fault,
he found father and fumed,
"Floozies and foam from frittered
family funds and you fix a
feast following the fugitive's
folderol?"
The first-born's fury flashed,
but fussing was futile. The
frugal first-born felt it
was fitting to feel "favored" for
his faithfulness and fidelity
to family, father, and farm.
In foolhardy fashion, he
faulted the father for failing to
furnish a fatling and feast
for his friends. His folly was
not in feeling fit for feast
and fatling for friends; rather
his flaw was in his feeling
about the fairness of the
festival for the found fugitive.
His fundamental fallacy was
a fixation on favoritism, not
forgiveness. Any focus on
feeling "favored" will fester and
friction will force the faded
facade to fall. Frankly, the
father felt the frigid first-born's
frugality of forgiveness
was formidable and frightful.
But the father's former faithful
fortitude and fearless
forbearance to forgive both
fugitive and first-born
flourishes.
The farsighted father figured,
"Such fidelity is fine, but
what forbids fervent festivity
for the fugitive that is found?
Unfurl the flags and finery,
let fun and frolic freely flow.
Former failure is forgotten,
folly is forsaken. Forgiveness
forms the foundation for
future fortune."
Four facets of the father's
fathomless fondness for
faltering fugitives are:
1) Forgiveness,
2) Forever faithful
friendship,
3) Fadeless
love, and
4) A facility
for forgetting flaws.
Story from Luke 15:11-32
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Subj:
LOGIC PROB. - Find The Value
by Philip J. Carter-Kenneth A. Russell
From the book "IQ Test" on 11/25/2008
Published by Sterling Pub. Co., Inc.,
387 Park Avenue South, New York, N.Y.
Test #10, Problem #12, Page 173 |
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Find the value of the second
line. Click below
to see the full drawing,
and solution.
http://jokelibrary.net/education/m2/m4cS-value.html
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Subj:
What To Do When Your Partner Redoubles
From: BridgeClues.com on 11/25/2008
Drawing from ArtZooks.com |
This wonderful web site has daily
problems if you click on
the bidding drop down menu.
Today's hand #2213 discusses
what to do when your partner
redoubles. Click below to
see this bridge problem.
http://jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/g2/a_bridge_column76.html
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At Steve Gibbs suggestion I have
placed this donate button at
a few key locations on my web site.
If you are sending me
jokes each week, or find my errors,
you have already donation.
Hey, if you sent
a quarter each week, I might have some cents.
..
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