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Subject: The Sunday Morning Laughs #621
         Date: 12/28/2008
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 "They say the seeds of what we will do are in all of us,
 but it always seemed to me that in those who make jokes
 in life the seeds are covered with better soil and with
 a higher grade of manure. "  -- Ernest Hemingway
 

Thanks for the great jokes you guys keep sending.  If
I havenít sent out a certain joke for four years, I am
now sending the best ones out a second time.
 

Go to http://jokelibrary.net/a_joke_library.html
to read the great jokes you have sent me through the years.
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Subj:     No One As Irish As Barack OBama
          Written by Hardy Drew and the Nancy Boys
          From: LABLaughsClean on 11/20/2008
 Source: http://www.lifeisajoke.com
........./videos66_no_one_as_irish_as_barack_obama.htm

 A SONG trumpeting US president-elect Barack Obama's 
 ancestral Irish roots has become a surprise hit on the 
 YouTube video-sharing website.  "There's no one as Irish 
 as Barack Obama," has had more than 600,000 hits on YouTube, 
 many added since the Democrat became the first black 
 candidate to be voted US president last week. 

 The song, which creatively rhymes Obama with O'Hara, is 
 the work of Irish band Hardy Drew and the Nancy Boys from 
 Limerick in south-west Ireland who describe themselves as 
 "a rag taggle bunch of dropouts and misfits". 

 You can hear this wonderful song at the above source, or 
 on my web site by clicking below. 

 http://jokelibrary.net/nationalities/a_to_z/irish2-obama1.html

 The above comments are from News.com at 
 http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,24634074-1702,00.html?from=public_rss

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Subj:     Barack Obama is IRISH!
          Written by Hardy Drew and the Nancy Boys
          From: YouTube on 12/1/2008
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EADUQWKoVek

 Permission to add additional verses given to Shay Black by 
 the Hardy Drew and the Nancy Boys.  The added verses are 
 wonderful and now the song is longer. 

 You can hear this longer, excellent song at the above 
 source, or on my web site by clicking below.

 http://jokelibrary.net/nationalities/a_to_z/irish2-obama2.html

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Subj:     Angry Old Man And The Nurse
          From: thebartend on 1/5/2004
      and From: LABLaughsAdult on 12/3/2008

 Lorne was an old man, he was sick, and he was in the hospital.
 Anyway, there was this one young nurse that just drove him
 crazy.  Every time she came in, she would talk to him like he
 was a little child.  She would say in a patronizing tone of
 voice, "And how are we doing this morning, or are we ready
 for our bath, or are we hungry?"

 Old Lorne had had enough of this particular nurse.  One day,
 Old Lorne had received breakfast, and pulled the juice off
 the tray, and put it on his bed side stand.  He had been
 given a Urine Bottle to fill for testing.  The juice was
 apple juice.  So.....you know where the juice went.

 Well, the nurse came in a little later and picked up the
 urine bottle.  She looks at it. "My, but it seems we are a
 little cloudy today....."

 At this, Old Lorne snatched the bottle out of her hand,
 pops off the top, and drinks it down, saying, "Well, I'll
 run it through again, and maybe I can filter it better this
 time."

 The nurse fainted..... Old Lorne just smiled......

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Subj:     A Thomas Jefferson Quote On Banking
          From: gordonschuk on 11/16/2008
Drawing from FineArtAmerica.com...
Source: http://www.listafterlist.com/tabid/57/listid/15383
......../Money++Real+Estate/Thomas+Jefferson+quotes++
........Banking+institutions+are+more+dangerous+to+our+
........liberties+than+standing+armies.aspx

 'I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous 
 to our liberties than standing armies.  If the American 
 people ever allow private banks to control the issue of 
 their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, 
 the banks and corporations that will grow up around the 
 banks will deprive the people of all property until their 
 children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers 
 conquered.'  -- Thomas Jefferson 1802

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Subj:     Daddy Sleeps Naked
          From: mauryschu on 12/4/2008 

 'Late again,' the third-grade teacher said to little Sammy. 

 'It isn't my fault this time, Miss Crabtree.  You can blame 
 this'un on  my daddy.  The reason I'm three hours late is 
 my daddy sleeps naked!' 

 Now Miss Crabtree had taught grammar school for thirty-some- 
 odd years.  Despite her mounting fears, she asked little 
 Sammy what he meant by that. 

 Full of grins and mischief, and in the flower of his youth, 
 little Sammy and trouble were old friends, but he always 
 told her the truth. 

 'You see, Miss Crabtree; out at the ranch we got this here 
 low down Coyote.  The last few nights he done et six hens 
 and killed Ma's best milk goat.  Last night, when Daddy 
 heard a noise out in the chicken pen, he grabbed his shot 
 gun and said to Ma, 'That coyote's back again, I'm a gonna 
 git him!'' 

 'Stay back,' he whispered to all us kids.  He was naked as 
 a jaybird, no boots, no pants, no shirt!' 

 'To the hen house he crawl ed, just like an Injun on the 
 snoop.  Then he stuck that double barreled 12 Gauge shot 
 gun through the window of the coop.  As he stared into the 
 darkness, with coyotes on his mind, our old hound dog Zeke 
 had done woke up and comes sneaking' up behind Daddy.  Then 
 as we all looked on plumb helpless, old Zeke stuck his cold 
 nose in Daddy's crack! 

 'Miss Crabtree, we all been cleanin' chickens since three 
 o'clock this Mornin. 

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Subj:     Blind Motorcyclist
          From: mauryschu
          on 12/4/2008

 Click below to see this short, cute commercial.

 http://jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/g_to_m/harley-blind.html

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Subj:     Midget Cowboy's Balls Ache
          From: RFSlick on 5/15/00
      and From: gordonschuk on 12/5/2008

 There was a midget cowboy who complained to his buddy that
 his testicles ached all the time.  As he was always going
 on about his problem, his friend suggested that he go to
 the doctor and see what he could do to relieve the problem.

 The midget took his advice and went to the doctor and told
 him what the problem was.  The doctor told him to drop his
 pants and he would have a look.

 The midget dropped his pants, then the doctor put him up
 onto the examining table and proceeded to look for the
 trouble.  The doc put one finger under his left testicle
 and told the midget to cough, which he did.  "Ah!" mumbled
 the doc and putting his finger under the right one and
 asked him to cough again, which he did.  "Ahhh!" said the
 doctor and reached for his surgical scissors.  Snip, snip,
 snip on the right side and then snip, snip, snip on the
 left side and he told the midget to pull up his pants and
 see if it still ached.

 The midget was delighted as he walked around the doc's
 office and his testicles were not aching. "What did you do
 Doc?" he asked.

 The doc replied, "I cut two inches off the tops of your
 cowboy boots."

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Subj:     The Wizard of Id Comic Strip
          by Parker and Hart
          From: Creators.com on 12/05/2008
 Source: http://www.creators.com/today-comics.html

 Click below to read this cute comic strip.

 http://jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/b_to_e/bar1-id.html

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Subj:     Widow Writes Obituary II
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 11/12/2008

 When the husband finally died, his wife put the 
 death notice in the paper, but added that he died 
 of gonorrhea. 

 No sooner were the papers delivered when a friend 
 of the family phoned and complained bitterly, 'You 
 know very well that he died of diarrhea, not 
 gonorrhea.' 

 Replied the widow, 'I nursed him night and day so 
 of course I know he died of diarrhea, but I thought 
 it would be better for posterity to remember him as 
 a great lover rather than the big shit he always was.'

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Subj:     Can You Find The Pattern?
          From Anonymous Jr. on 12/2/2008
Picture from Germes-online.com
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          What comes next? 

               T,E,T,T,F, 
               F,M,A,M,J, 
               A,D,G,J,M, 

          Click below to see the solution.

 http://jokelibrary.net/education/m2/m4cS-pattern.html

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Subj:     Puzzle - Duck Shooting
          From the book
            "Mathematical Puzzles of Sam Loyd"
          Edited by Martin Gardner
          From: Dover Publications in 1959

 By changing the position of the fewest possible number 
 of the ten ducks, arrange them so there will be five rows 
 of four in each row.  To see the puzzle's description, it's 
 large drawing and the puzzle's solution, click below.

 http://jokelibrary.net/education/m2/m4cS-duck_shooting.html

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