Sunday Morning Laughs #789
"He who laughs,
-- Mary Pettibone Poole
The best jokes
I receive each week are from you folks.
If you get
a good joke please pass it on to me, I enjoy
a good laugh
and it cut down the work. If you don't get
Laughs, or want a back issue, drop me a note.
Go to http://jokelibrary.net/a_joke_library.html
to read the great jokes you have
sent me through the years.
You can also view old "Sunday Morning
||Drawing from tom on 8/21/2009
The volume of new material
I see in emails and on the web is
decrease. The Sunday
Morning Laughs will be getting shorter.
Help keep the Sunday Laughs
going by sending me new stuff.
From: lubin100 on 2/26/2012
Vintage Race Car Crashes
Video from The Jalopy Journal's videos
Music written and sung by A.A. Bondy
is a vintage race car crash compilation. The great
is "Killed Myself When I Was Young" by A.A. Bondy.
wonderful video is not for those with a weak stomach.
on any source, or below for my copy, to see this
4 Clever International Commercials
video contains four clever International Commercials:
Kiwi Bacon, Wiener Stadtische Insurance, Nissan U.K.
on the above source, or below for my copy, to see
four, very funny commercials.
Family Dinner And The Harley
From: From: DoctorDebt on 12/21/2005
and From: lubin100 on 2/23/2012
is the joke that finally made me decide to collect
After reading it, I deleted it and later wanted
give it to Roger. After relocating the joke, I didn't
to looks it again. I still think this joke is a
man name Steve has always dreamed of owning a
Davidson. One day he has finally saved up enough
so he goes down to the dealer. After picking out
perfect bike the dealer asks if he would like the
chrome protection added to the bill. The young man
upset because he does not have the extra money and is
afraid that the chrome will rust as soon as it gets wet.
dealer tells him not to worry. There is an old biker
that will keep the chrome like new. All he has to do
to keep a jar of Vaseline handy and put it on the chrome
it rains and everything will be fine. The young man
pays for the bike and leaves.
months later Steve meets a woman and falls in love.
asks him to come home and meet her parents over dinner.
readily agrees and the date is set.
appointed time he picks her up on his Harley and
ride to her parents house. Before they go in she
him, "No matter what happens at dinner tonight,
say a word. Our family had a fight a while ago
doing dishes. We haven't done any since. The first
to speak at dinner has to do them, all of them."
sits down for dinner and it is just how she described
Dishes are piled up to the ceiling in the kitchen and
the edge of the dining room. Nobody is saying a word.
a delicious dinner everyone sits in silence waiting
the first person to break and get stuck doing the
After a long fifteen minutes the Steve decides to
things up so he reaches over and kisses the woman in
of her family.
girlfriend is upset, her dad smiles, but no one says a
he slips his hand under her blouse and fondles
breasts. His girlfriend turns beet red, but a little
appears on her face.
he decides to take a more direct approach so he throws
on the table and has sex with her in front of everyone.
girlfriend is a badly flustered, her dad is obviously
and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but
one says a word...
minutes later he grabs her mom, throws her on the
and does a repeat performance. They have even
his girlfriend is furious, her dad is boiling, and
mother is a little happier. But still there is
silence at the table.
of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it
to rain. His first thought is to protect the
on his Harley, so he gets his jacket, reaches in
pocket and pulls out his jar of Vaseline. Upon
this, his girlfriend's father backs away
the table and screams, "Okay damnit I'll do the
NCIS - Gibbs Rules
From: Google.com on 2/26/2012
On the TV show NCIS, Leroy
Jethro Gibbs has a set of rules
he teaches his coworkers.
Gibbs' rules originated from his
first wife, Shannon, who
told him at their first meeting,
"Everyone needs a code they
can live by." Years later, after
Gibbs began writing his rules down,
keeping them in a small tin inside
his home. Though
he uses it often we almost never
see the tin.
Drawing from CafePress.com
on either of the first two sources, or below for my
to see Gibbs rules up to season 7.
American Car Brochures
Site created by Hans Tore Tangerud of Norway
From: lubin100 on 2/22/2012
web-site featuring the original factory brochures for
every American car you have ever owned. Pick the
the year and the model and enjoy the trip
nostalgia lane. Click on the above source to see
great web site.
The Story Of Onestone
From: DoctorDebt on 10/6/2004
and From: rfslick on 2/24/2012
is the story of an Indian called Onestone. This was his
name given to him because he had only one testicle.
years and years of this torment Onestone cracked and
"If anyone calls me Onestone again, I will kill them."
word got around and nobody called him that any more. Then
day a young girl named Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good
Onestone." He jumped up, grabbed her and took her
into the forest and there he made love to her all day,
made love to her all night, he made love to her all the
day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.
word got around that Onestone meant business. Years went
until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village
many years of being away. Yellow Bird, who was Blue
cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone and hugged
and said "Good to see you Onestone."
grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where
made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made
to her all the next day, made love to her all the next
but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!
is the moral of the story? Go down the page to find out.....
can't kill two birds with one stone.
Tom & Jerry - Cat Concerto
From: darrelldre on 2/24/2012
Cat Concerto is a 1946 American animated cartoon.
Technicolor one-reel movie was produced by Fred
and directed by William Hanna and Joseph Barbera,
musical supervision by Scott Bradley, and animation
Kenneth Muse, Ed Barge and Irven Spence. It won
1946 Academy Award for Best Short Subject: Cartoons.
1994 it was voted #42 of the 50 Greatest Cartoons
on either of the top two sources, or below for
copy, to see this musical classic.
From: LABLaughsAdult on 11/11/2008
and From: darrelldre on 2/23/2012
A blonde is showing off her
new tattoo of a giant seashell
on her inner thigh.
Her friends ask her why she would get
such a tattoo and in that
She responds 'It's really cool.
If you put your
ear up against it, you can smell
My Mother Taught Me
From: KMACINTY on 08/16/2000
and From: tom on 3/4/2008 and 2/24/2012
taught me LOGIC...
you fall off that swing and break your neck,
can't go to the store with me."
taught me MEDICINE...
you don't stop crossing your eyes,
going to freeze that way."
taught me TO THINK AHEAD...
you don't pass your spelling test,
never get a good job!"
taught me ESP...
your sweater on; don't you think
I know when you're cold?"
taught me TO MEET A CHALLENGE...
were you thinking? Answer me when
to you...Don't talk back to me!"
taught me HUMOR...
that lawn mower cuts off your toes,
come running to me."
taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT...
you don't eat your vegetables,
never grow up.
taught me ABOUT SEX...
do you think you got here?"
taught me about GENETICS...
are just like your father!"
taught me about my ROOTS...
you think you were born in a barn?"
taught me about the WISDOM of AGE...
you get to be my age, you will understand."
taught me about ANTICIPATION...
wait until your father gets home."
taught me about RECEIVING...
are going to get it when we get home."
my all time favorite thing- JUSTICE...
day you will have kids, and I hope they turn
just like YOU..then you'll see what it's like."
taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE -
you're going to kill each other, do it outside -
taught me RELIGION - "You better pray that
come out of the carpet."
taught me about TIME TRAVEL: "If you don't
up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
taught me LOGIC: "Because I said so, that's why."
taught me FORESIGHT - "Make sure you wear
underwear, in case you're in an accident.
taught me IRONY - "Keep crying and I'll give
something to cry about."
taught me about the science of OSMOSIS -
your mouth and eat your supper!"
taught me about CONTORTIONISM - "Will you
look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"
taught me about STAMINA - "You'll sit there
all that spinach is finished."
taught me about WEATHER - "It looks as if a
swept through your room."
taught me about HYPOCRISY - "If I've told you
I've told you a million times - Don't Exaggerate!!!"
taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE - "I brought
into this world, and I can take you out."
taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION -
acting like your father!"
taught me about ENVY - "There are millions
less fortunate children in th is world who don't have
parents like you do!"
Garfield Comic Strip
By Jim Davis
From: WashingtonPost.com on 2/20/2012
below to watch this Garfield comic strip discuss
importance of people over things.
Published in FunnyTimes in March 2012
From: virv on 2/26/2012
Descartes, the French philosopher who coined
sentence "I think, therefore I am" were to rewrite
as an elderly person, this cartoon by Kopf would
be the result. Click below to see this all
. . .