Subject: The Sunday
Morning Laughs #791
Date: 4/1/2012
.
.
.
|
 |
.
.
"Men show
their characters in nothing more clearly than in what
they
think laughable." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)
The best jokes
I receive each week are from you folks.
If you get
a good joke please pass it on to me, I enjoy
a good laugh
and it cut down the work. If you don't get
you Sunday
Laughs, or want a back issue, drop me a note.
.
.
 |
Drawing from tom on 8/21/2009 |
.
The volume of new material
I see in emails and on the web is
decrease. The Sunday
Morning Laughs will be getting shorter.
Help keep the Sunday Laughs
going by sending me new stuff.
.
..
I uploaded the 141 new jokes
you sent me during the last
three months to my web site.
You can view these new
jokes plus all the other
jokes you have sent me through
the years at http://jokelibrary.net/a_joke_library.html.
You can also view old "Sunday
Morning Laughs" at
http://jokelibrary.net/archive/index.html.
.
.
.
|
|
|
Subj:
Strip Tease
From: ft.apache on 1/28/2010
and From: tom on 3/4/2012 |
Source: http://www.worktobejudged.com/strippause/peca.html
This
interactive video is very funny. Keep pressing the
play
arrow when ever the censor stops the stripper. Click
on
the above source, or below for my copy, to see the
funniest
video I've seen in years.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/people/o_files/nud-strip.html
or at
http://www.jokelibrary.net/people/o_files/nud-strip.swf
.
.
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo======================
Subj:
Helena Vlahos - Nine Quarters Act
From: brucejohnsonbaugh on 3/9/2012
|
 |
Source1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUZQZzcvlZk
Source2a: http://videosift.com/video/How-Belly-Dancers-Flip-Coins
Source2b: http://youtu.be/Yik7c0EXV0M
Helena Vlahos has been on
several television shows, including
|
"That's Incredible"
and "Spectacular World of
Guinness Records" because of her
unique ability
to roll nine quarters on her belly.
She is in
the "Guinness Book of World Records"
for "Unique
Abdominal Dexterity". Helena
has been belly
dancing since 1963, starting at
the age of 15.
Photo from
HelenaVlahos.com |
.
Click
on any source, or below for my copy, to see this mesmerized
amazing
belly dancer. Source1 and 2 are different videos.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/occupations/s_to_z/z_oth-supp-belly.html
.
.
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo======================
Subj:
Scottish Farmer Saves A Boy
From: JCary on 99-03-11
and From: virv on 3/12/2012
His
name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer.
One
day,
while trying to eke out a living for his family,
he
heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He
dropped
his tools and ran to the bog. There, mired to his
waist
in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and
struggling
to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the
lad
from what could have been a slow and terrifying death.
The
next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's
sparse
surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped
out
and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer
Fleming
had saved. "I want to repay you," said the nobleman.
"You
saved my son's life." "No, I can't accept payment for
what
I did," the Scottish farmer replied, waving off the
offer.
At that
moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of
the
family hovel. "Is that your son?" the nobleman asked.
"Yes,"
the farmer replied proudly.
"I'll
make you a deal . Let me take him and give him a
good
education. If the lad is anything like his father,
he'll
grow to a man you can be proud of."
And
that he did. In time, Farmer Fleming's son graduated
from
St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London, and
went
on to become known throughout the world as the noted
Sir
Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin.
Years
afterward, the nobleman's son was stricken with
pneumonia.
What saved him? Penicillin.
The
name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill. His
son's
name? Sir Winston Churchill.
Someone
once said what goes around comes around. When
you
help someone else you are bringing joy into your life
also.....
The
above wonderful story is just an urban legend as verified
by
Snopes.com at http://www.snopes.com/glurge/fleming.asp
.
.
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo======================
Subj:
The Swiss Room Box
From: kgilmour2000 on 3/8/2012
|
 |
Source1: http://manneli.com/movies/tech/Swiss-RoomBox.html
Source2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3cy3gKwirLk
Source3: http://www.swissroombox.com/swissRoomBox-home.html
The Swiss Room Box is the
world's smallest motor home set.
|
It fits most cars and
is now available
in North America. But it's
going to
cost you. The SwissRoomBox
is priced
over $8,000, plus overseas shipping.
Click on either of the first two
sources,
.
Photo from TinyHouseTalk.com |
or below
for my copy, to see this great way to car camping.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/sports/a_to_z/hunt-supp-swiss.html
.
.
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo======================
Subj:
Telemarketer Nightmare
From: janeenmarie on 10/30/2006
and From: tom on 3/8/2012 |
 |
Drawing from
BobAndTom.com |
Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkdoogjic4I
This
video is an audio recording played on The Bob & Tom Radio
Show.
It was recorded by Tom Mabe when a telemarketer called
his
home. Click on the above source, or below for my copy,
to
listen and read to this extremely funny tape.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/n_to_v/phone-supp-tele.html
or at
http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/n_to_v/phone-supp-tele_movie.wmv
.
.
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo======================
Subj:
The Hunter And The Fly
One
day in the forest, there was a fly. And this fly was buzzing
around
above the surface of a small stream in the woods. Under
the
water was a small fish who was thinking: "When that fly
drops
four inches, boy oh boy, it's lunch time." So the fish
waited
and the fly kept buzzing.
Over
on the shore of the stream, there lumbered a large grizzly
bear
who was observing this whole thing. He grumbled to himself,
"When
that fish goes for that fly, hmm, hmm, it's lunch time."
So
the bear and the fish waited while the fly kept buzzing.
At the
same time, over in the woods, there was a hunter who had
been
eating his lunch and watching this whole thing transpire.
He
said to himself, "When that bear goes for that fish, god
dammit,
I'm gonna have me a big trophy." So they all waited some
more.
At the
hunter's feet there was a mouse who stealthily worked his
way
closer. The mouse was saying to himself, "When that hunter
grabs
his gun to shoot that bear, he's going to drop that sand-
wich,
then, yummy, it's lunch time." And so the tension mounted
once
again.
Little
did the mouse know that as he waited, the hunter's cat had
hopped
from the back of his pickup truck and was on the prowl.
The
cat said to himself, "When that mouse goes for that sandwich,
bam,
he's a dead motherfucker...lunch..." So they all waited for
the
crucial moment.
Then
all of the sudden, the fly dropped four inches and the fish
jumped.
The bear went for the fish and the hunter grabbed his
gun
and shot while the sandwich fell. The mouse dove on the sand-
wich
and the cat followed and pounced on him. Within a moment,
the
hunter realized what had happened exclaiming, "Hey that's my
lunch!"
He reached down and ripped the cat off the sandwich and
hurdled
him into the water.
And
what, pray tell, is the moral of this story?
Anytime
there's a fly dropping four inches, there's a pussy
getting
wet somewhere...
.
.
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo======================
|
|
|
Subj:
The Whole World As 100 People - PPS
From: tom on 3/7/2012
Drawing from DalasBlog.com |
Source: http://www.snopes.com/science/stats/populate.asp
If we
could shrink the earth's population to a village of
precisely
100 people, with all the existing human ratios
remaining
the same, how would it look?
Click
below to see this wonderful PowerPoint Show about
our
world population.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/nat/nat-100_people.pps
.
.
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo======================
Subj:
Smart Or Stoopid
From: tom on 3/8/2012
|
 |
Source:
http://www.flashbynight.com/test/
Are
you smarter or stupider than the average person?
This
test only gives you 8 seconds to answer the question.
Click
on the above source, or below for my copy, to
take
this too fast test.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/words/q_to_w/tests2-supp2-stoopid.html
.
.
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo======================
Subj:
Boy Wants To Drive The Family Car
From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 10/5/2006
and From: virv on 3/8/2012
A young
boy had just gotten his driver's license and inquired
of
his father, if they could discuss his use of the car. His
father
said he'd make a deal with his son. "You bring your
grades
up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little,
get
your hair cut and we'll talk about the car."
The
boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle
for
the offer and they agreed on it.
After
about six weeks his father said, "Son, I've been real
proud.
You brought your grades up and I've observed that you
have
been studying your Bible, but I'm real disappointed you
haven't
gotten your hair cut."
The
young man paused a moment then said, "You know, Dad, I've
been
thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of
the
Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had
long
hair, Moses had long hair and there's even a strong
argument
that Jesus had long hair."
To this
his father replied, "Did you also notice they all
walked
everywhere they went?"
.
.
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo======================
Subj: Herman
Cartoon
By Jim Unger
From: WashingtonPost.com on 3/9/2012
Source: http://www.gocomics.com/herman/2012/03/09
.
.
.
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo======================
Subj:
Non Sequitur Comic Strip II
By Wiley Miller
From: WashingtonPost.com on 3/8/2012 |
 |
Source: http://wpcomics.washingtonpost.com/client/wpc/nq/2012/03/07/
Click
on the above source, or below for my copy, to
see
this cute cartoon about not being stranded on an
island.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherNtoZ/n_to_v/stranded-non_sequitur2.html
.
.
.
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo======================
.
|
