Subject: The Sunday
Morning Laughs #792
Date: 4/8/2012
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"Men
will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or
a
wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor?"
-- Frank Moore Colby
Thanks for
the great jokes you guys keep sending. If
I haven't
sent out a certain joke for two years, I am
now sending
the best ones out a second time.
Go to http://jokelibrary.net/a_joke_library.html
to read the great jokes you have
sent me through the years.
You can also view old "Sunday Morning
Laughs" at
http://jokelibrary.net/archive/index.html
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Drawing from tom on 8/21/2009 |
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The volume of new material
I see in emails and on the web is
decrease. The Sunday
Morning Laughs will be getting shorter.
Help keep the Sunday Laughs
going by sending me new stuff.
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Subj:
Eagle Cam: Chicago Bald Eagle
.............Eggs
Hatching Live
From: ginafm on 3/17/2012 |
Source: http://www.farmyou.com/falcon_cams/index.html
This
link was sent by a Scrabble buddy from a suburb of
Chicago.
It is a live-feed video of a mama eagle sitting
her
on 3 eggs. The first time I peeked in on her, she was
cleaning
her feathers, stretching, checking out the eggs,
and
then she lay back down and went to sleep. My friend's
son's
Kindergarten teacher sent this link to the parents of
her
students. The entire school is keeping abreast of the
event.
Remember, this is live-feed video. From Gina
First
egg was laid on 02/17/2012. The estimated first hatch
date
is 03/25/12.
Click
on the above source, or below for my copy, to follow
the
life of this mother eagle and her babies.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/animals/birds/birds-supp-Eagle_cam.html
I'm
sorry about the full screen commercials that appear ever
so
often. This web cam works fine with Google Chrome. If
you
use Internet Explorer, you need a modern computer with
lots
of ram.
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Subj:
Broadwalk Empire Season 2 on HBO
By Brainstorm Digital
From: tom on 3/12/2012 |
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Source1: http://player.vimeo.com/video/34678075?title=0&
Source2: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boardwalk_Empire
Boardwalk
Empire is an American television series from cable
network
HBO, set in Atlantic City, New Jersey, during the
Prohibition
era. The first episode, directed by Martin
Scorsese,
cost $18 million. On September 1, 2009, HBO
picked
up the series for an additional 11 episodes. It
premiered
on September 19, 2010, and has completed its
second
season. On October 12, 2011 it was announced that
the
series has been renewed for a third season.
I had
no idea how virtually any movie, TV, or Internet video
might
be either cleverly manipulated or totally fabricated.
Click
on Source1, or below for my copy, to see how this
great
TV series was made using computer graphics.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/g_to_m/mov2-supp/boardwalk.html
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Subj: Are You Kathlick?
From: AFine963 8/24/07
and
From: virv on 3/21/12
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Three little boys were
concerned because they
couldn't get anyone to
play with them. They
decided it was because
they had not been
baptized and didn't go
to Sunday School.
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So they went to the
nearest Church.
But, only the Janitor was there. |
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One little boy said,
"We need to be baptized
because no one will come
out and play with us.
Will you baptize us?"
"Sure," said the Janitor.
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He took them into the
bathroom
and dunked their little heads
in the toilet bowl, one at a time.
Then he said, "You are now baptized!" |
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When they got outside,
one of them asked,
"What religion do you
think we are?"
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The oldest one said,
"We're not Kathlick, because
they pour the water on you."
"We're not Babtis, because
they dunk all of you in the water."
"We're not Methdiss, because
they just sprinkle water on you." |
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The littlest one said,
"Didn't you smell that water?!"
They all joined in asking,
"Yeah! What do you think that means?"
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The middle one answered,
"I think it means we're Pisscopailians." |
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Subj:
Teller Performing 'Shadows'
From: Wimp.com on 3/17/2012
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Source1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=un1pNtmYguA
Source2: http://www.wimp.com/shadowstrick/
Source3: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teller_%28entertainer%29
Click
on either of the top two sources, or below for my
copy,
to see a clip from the Penn and Teller Show where
Teller
performs his magic trick 'Shadows'. It is a
wonderfully
beautiful, simple illusion.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/occupations/s_to_z/z_oth-supp-shadows.html
or at
http://www.jokelibrary.net/occupations/s_to_z/z_oth-supp-shadows.wmv
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Subj:
Pool Skills You Have Never Seen Before
From: tom on 3/3/2012
Photo from YouTube.com |
Source1: http://www.youtube.com/embed/AeiEiSKAp5M?rel=0
Source2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4H8rB_LIPPc
Click
on either source, or below for my copy, to
see
this great, very sexy pool shooting demonstration.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/sports/a_to_z/other/pool.html
or at
http://www.jokelibrary.net/sports/a_to_z/other/pool.wmv
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Subj:
Teddy Bears And Sex
From: rfslick on 2/2/2009
and From: AFine963 on 3/12/2012
A woman
meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they
end
up leaving together.. They get back to his place. As
he
shows her around his apartment, she notices that one wall
of
his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly
teddy
bears.
There
are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and
hundreds
of cute, cuddly teddy bears carefully placed in
rows,
covering the entire wall! It was obvious that he had
taken
quite some time to lovingly arrange them, and she was
immediately
touched
by the amount of thought he had put into
organizing
the display. There were small bears all along
the
bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of
the
middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running all the
way
along the top shelf.
She
found it strange for an obviously masculine guy to have
such
a large collection of teddy bears. She is quite
impressed
by his sensitive side, but doesn't mention this
to
him.
They
share a bottle of wine and continue talking and, after
awhile,
she finds herself thinking, 'Oh my God! maybe, this
guy
could be the one! Maybe he could be the future father
of
my children?'
She
turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips. He
responds
warmly. They continue to kiss, the passion builds,
and
he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her
into
his bedroom where they rip off each other's clothes
and
make hot, steamy love.
She
is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion,
more
creativity, more heat than she has ever known.
After
an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this
sensitive
guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow.
The
woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly,
'Well,
how was it?'
The
guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply
into
her eyes, and says: 'Help yourself to any prize from the
middle
shelf.'
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Subj:
Police Arrest Cocaine Dealer
From: Contra Costa Times on 3/15/2012
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Source: http://www.contracostatimes.com/california/
.........ci_20176081/tide-hot-target-store-theft
WASHINGTON
- When police in suburban Washington raided the
home
of a suspected drug dealer last fall, they found the
cocaine,
all right, but also something unusual on the man's
shelves:
nearly 20 large bottles of liquid Tide laundry
detergent.
Click
on the above source, or below for my copy, to read
this
very strange story.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/occupations/p_files/pol-supp2-Tide.html
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Subj:
Movie Jigsaw Puzzle
By Harada Yasunori
From: tom on 3/15/2012 |
Drawing
from CanStockPhoto.com
Source: http://www.brl.ntt.co.jp/people/hara/fly.swf
Click
on the above source, or below for my copy,
to
assembly this cute, fun, jigsaw movie.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/yNonJokes/bt/supp-jigsaw.html
or at
http://www.jokelibrary.net/yNonJokes/bt/supp-jigsaw.swf
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Subj:.....Blind
Man And His Dog On A Plane
From: JOELFALLON on 98-11-21
and From: virv on 3/20/2012
I was flying from San Francisco
to Los Angeles. By
the time we took off, there
had been a 45-minute delay
and everybody on board was
ticked.
Unexpectedly, we stopped in
Sacramento on the way. The
flight attendant explained
that there would be another
forty-five minute delay,
and if we wanted to get off
the aircraft, we would reboard
in 30 minutes. Everybody
got off the plane except
one gentleman who was blind. I
noticed him as I walked by
and could tell he had flown
before because his Seeing
Eye dog lay quietly underneath
the seats in front of him
throughout the entire flight.
I could also tell he had flown
this very flight before
because the pilot approached
him and, calling him by
name, said, "Keith, we're
in Sacramento for almost an
hour. Would you like
to get off and stretch your legs?"
Keith replied, "No thanks,
but maybe my dog would like
to stretch his legs."
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Picture
this: All the people in the
gate area came to a completely
quiet
standstill when they looked up
and saw
the pilot walk off the plane with
the
Seeing Eye dog! The pilot
was even
wearing sunglasses. People
scattered.
They not only tried to change planes,
they also were trying to change
airlines!
This is a great story, but only
an urban
legend as verified at
http://www.snopes.com/humor/jokes/pilotdog.asp |
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This final Sunday comic strip
was ran on Sunday, December 31,
1995. It depicted Calvin
and Hobbes outside in freshly fallen
snow, reveling in the wonder
and excitement of the winter scene.
"It's a magical world, Hobbes,
ol' buddy... Let's go exploring!"
Calvin exclaims as they zoom
off over the snowy hills on their
sled.
Click on the above source,
or below for my copy, to see this
wonderful, farwell comic
strip.
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http://www.jokelibrary.net/yyDrawings/calvin4.html#CH19
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Subj:
The Color Test
From: tom on 3/12/2012 |
Source: http://www.humorsphere.com/fun/8787/colortest.swf
A great
test, do it until you get 100%! Bet you can't
get
100% on the first try! This is pretty neat! It
takes
an average of 5 tries to get to 100%. Click on
the
above source, or below for my copy, to try this
cute,
short test.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/after_m/psych-supp-color2.html
or at
http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/after_m/psych-supp-color2.swf
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Subj:
Short Jokes That Made Me Laugh Or Smile
From: kgilmour2000
on 3/13/2012
What
does your father do for a living?
He
is a magician. He cuts people in two.
Do
you have any brothers or sisters?
Yes,
one half-brother and one half-sister....
Two
economists were sitting at a nudist colony.
The
one said, "Have you read Marx?"
The
other says, "It's these wicker chairs."
Q: Why
don't cannibals eat Pentecostals?
A:
They keep throwing up their hands.
Q: Where
does the one-legged woman work?
A:
Ihop.
Q: Did
you hear about the 25 Irish people that drowned?
A:
They were riverdancing.
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Subj:
The Chicken!
From: tom
on 3/30/2012 |
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Source: http://www.terrisfp1.com/holidays/chick.html
Click on the above source,
or below for my copy,
to see this very dumb, cute
animated SWF.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/b_to_e/easter-chicken.html
or at
http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/b_to_e/easter-chicken.swf
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At Steve Gibbs suggestion I have
placed this donate button at
a few key locations on my web site.
If you are sending me
jokes each week, or find my errors,
you have already donated.
Hey, if you sent
a quarter each week, I might have some cents.
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