Subject: The
Sunday Morning Laughs #793
Date: 3/15/2012
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"He who laughs,
lasts."
-- Mary Pettibone Poole
The best jokes
I receive each week are from you folks.
If you get
a good joke please pass it on to me, I enjoy
a good laugh
and it cut down the work. If you don't get
you Sunday
Laughs, or want a back issue, drop me a note.
Go to http://jokelibrary.net/a_joke_library.html
to read the great jokes you have
sent me through the years.
You can also view old "Sunday Morning
Laughs" at
http://jokelibrary.net/archive/index.html
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Drawing from tom on 8/21/2009 |
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The volume of new material
I see in emails and on the web is
decrease. The Sunday
Morning Laughs will be getting shorter.
Help keep the Sunday Laughs
going by sending me new stuff.
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Subj:
Michael Davis Comedian,
.............Juggler,
Musician
From: YouTube.com on 3/26/2012 |
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Source1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uq0YjR11bx8
Source2: http://wn.com/MICHAEL_DAVIS
Source3: http://www.michaeldavisentertainment.com/
Michael
Davis (juggler, comedian, musician) in one of
his
outstanding performances on The Tonight Show with
Johnny
Carson, recorded on July 22, 1988. Click on
either
of the top two sources, or below for my copy,
to
watch this great, deadpan comedian.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/g_to_m/mov2-supp/Davis.html
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Subj:
HMKG Norwegian Drill Team On Ice
From: AFine963 on 3/20/2012
Photo from YouTube.com |
Source1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gS7iq3S1ME
Source2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDtspS-qliU
Source3: http://sorisomail.com/email/16993/exibicao-de-
..........banda-militar--um-espectaculo-imperdivel.html
His
Majesty The King's Guards Band and Drill Team of Norway
performed
at the 2004 Norwegian Military Tattoo. All the
precision
drills were performed on ICE!! Those rifles are
US
made Garand M-1 (WWII). Watch when that one fellow spins
his
rifle solo.
Click
on any source, or below for my copy, to see this
amazing,
precision band and drill team. They are worth
the
look.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/nationalities/a_to_z/sweden-drill_team.html
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Subj:
Irish, Italian And Polish Discuss Best Bar
From: darrell94590 on 3/21/2007
and From: virv on 3/24/2012
An Irishman,
an Italian, and a Polish guy are in a bar.
They
are having a good time and all agree that the bar
is
a nice place.
Then
the Irishman says, "Aye, this is a nice bar, but
where
I come from, back in Dublin, there's a better one.
At
MacDougal's, you buy a drink, you buy another drink,
and
MacDougal himself will buy your third drink!"
The
others agree that sounds like a nice place.
Then
the Italian says, "Yeah, that's a nice bar, but
where
I come from, there's a better one. Over in Brooklyn,
there's
this place, Vinny's. At Vinny's, you buy a drink,
Vinny
buys you a drink. You buy anudda drink, Vinny buys
you
anudda drink."
Everyone
agrees that sounds like a great bar.
Then
the Polish guy says, "You think that's great? Where
I come
from, there's this place called Warshowski's. At
Warshowski's,
they buy you your first drink, they buy you
your
second drink, they buy you your third drink, and then,
they
take you in the back and get you laid!"
"Wow!"
say the other two. "That's fantastic! Did that
actually
happen to you?"
"No,"
replies the Polish guy, "but it happened to my sister!"
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Subj:
Bruno Barn Move
From: virv on 3/18/2012
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Source1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o83W0gj_CRE
Source2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DS6uVnH9rQs
Source3: http://georgeprice.net/2009/10/05/the-power-of-teamwork/
In 1981, Herman Ostry and
his wife, Donna, bought a farm
a half mile outside of Bruno,
Nebraska, a small community
sixty miles west of Omaha.
The property had a creek and
came with a barn built in
the 1920s. The barn floor was
always wet and muddy.
When the creek flooded in 1988,
the barn ended up with 29
inches of water covering the
floor. That was the
last straw. Ostry needed to move it
to higher ground.
He contacted a building moving
company and was discouraged
by the bid. One night
around the table, Ostry commented
that if they had enough people
they could pick the barn
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up and move it to higher
ground. Everyone laughed.
A few days later, Ostry's
son Mike showed his father
some calculations. He had
counted the individual
boards and timbers in the
barn and estimated that the
barn weighed approximately
16,640 pounds. He also |
estimated
that a steel grid needed to move the barn would
add
another 3,150 pounds, bringing the total weight to just
under
10 tons. He figured it would take around 350 people
with
each person lifting 56 lbs. to move the barn.
The
town of Bruno, Nebraska was planning its centennial
celebration
in late July of 1988. Herman and Mike presented
their
barn moving idea to the committee. The committee
decided
to make it part of their celebration.
So,
on July 30, 1988, shortly before 11 a.m., a quick test
lift
was successfully made. Then, as local television
cameras
and 4,000 people from eleven states watched, 344
people
moved the barn 115 feet south and 6 feet higher up a
gentle
slope and set it on its new foundation.
Click
on either of the top two sources, or below for my
copy,
to see this video of the barn's move.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/occupations/b_to_l/far-supp-barn_move.html
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Subj:
Mostly Rodeo Accidents
From: edapsmas on 5/5/2008
and From: virv on 3/25/2012 |
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Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kvu4ic-JaJQ
You
can view this short movie of accidents with animals
at
the above source, or on my web site by clicking below.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/occupations/cow/c2-accidents.html
or at
http://www.jokelibrary.net/occupations/cow/c2-accidents.wmv
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Subj:
The Lie Detector Robot
From: rfslick on 3/17/2012
Source:
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/jokes/read/80747529/
(Warning,
the source site may contain malware)
John
was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of
unusual
gimmick. His wife Marsha had long ago given up
trying
to get him to change. One day John came home with
another
one of his unusual purchases. It was a robot that
John
claimed was actually a lie detector. It was about
5:30
that afternoon when Tommy, their 11 year old son,
returned
home from school. Tommy was over 2 hours late.
"Where
have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late
getting
home?" asked John.
"Several
of us went to the library to work on an extra
credit
project," said Tommy. The robot then walked around
the
table and slapped Tommy, knocking him completely out
of
his chair.
"Son,"
said John, "this robot is a lie detector. Now tell
us
where you really were after school."
"We
went to Bobby's house and watched a movie." said
Tommy.
"What
did you watch?" asked Marsha.
"The
Ten Commandments," answered Tommy. The robot went
around
to Tommy and once again slapped him, knocking him
off
his chair once more. With his lip quivering, Tommy
got
up, sat down and said, "I am sorry I lied. We really
watched
a tape called Sex Queen."
"I am
ashamed of you son," said John. "When I was your
age,
I never lied to my parents." The robot then walked
around
to John and delivered a whack that nearly knocked
him
out of his chair.
Marsha
doubled over in laughter, almost in tears and said,
"Boy,
did you ever ask for that one! You can't be too mad
with
Tommy. After all, he is your son!" With that the
robot
immediately walked around to Marsha and knocked her
out
of her chair.
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Subj:
Playboy Playmate Hunter
From: darrelldre on 2/27/2012
Drawing from FreeLogoVector.com |
Source: http://playmatehunter.com/playboys-playmate-index#char_75
This
web site is an index to about 966 Playboy Playmates.
Click
on the above source to view these beautiful, nude ladies.
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Subj:
Unique Golf Invention
From: tom on 3/25/2012
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Source: Fun
in a box
Click
on the above source, or below for my copy, to
see
an idea derived by this charming invention for
those
caught short on the golf course.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/sports/a_to_z/golf-supp-invention.html
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Subj:
Angry, Old Man Dies
From: virv on 3/23/2012
An old
man and woman were married for many years, even though
they
hated each other. Whenever there was a confrontation,
yelling
could be heard deep into the night. The old man would
shout,
"When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave
and
come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"
Neighbors
feared him. They believed he practiced magic because
of
the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighbor-
hood.
The old man liked the fact that he was feared. To every-
one's
relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 98. His wife
had
a closed casket at the funeral.
After
the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began
to
party as if there was no tomorrow. Her neighbors, concerned
for
her safety, asked "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be
able
to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest
of
your life?"
The
wife put down her drink and said, "Let him dig. I had him
buried
upside down. And I know he won't ask for directions."
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Subj:
Calvin and Hobbes Sunday Comic Strip
Created by Bill Watterson
Comic strip from GrowAssPeople on 3/26/2012 |
Source: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_djgssszshgM/SYXCzpR0MbI/
.........AAAAAAAAAyY/VYle3udsueo/s1600/CalvinHobbs.BMP
Click
on the above source, or below for my copy,
to
watch Calvin explain the free enterprise system.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/occupations/b_to_l/jobs/j-s-s2-Calvin.html
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Subj:
Non Sequitur Cartoon
By Wiley Miller
From: WashingtonPost.com on 3/23/2012 |
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Source: http://wpcomics.washingtonpost.com/client/wpc/nq/2012/03/23/
Click
on the above source, or below for my copy, to
learn
how the animals evolved from the sea to land.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/animals/d_to_z/z-oth-s/supp2-non_sequitur.html
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