Subj:     Biology Jokes
                 (Includes 33 jokes and articles, 31981,9,cf,wXT2,5)

Microscope from
Animation Factory
Includes the following:  Zebrafish Embryo - Microscopic Photo (S898)
.........................Does Neil Tyson Think We Are Alone? - Video (S730)
.........................What a Wonderful World with David Attenborough - Video (S779)
.........................Macro Timelapse - Video (S915)
.........................Cicada Life Cycle - Video (S688)
.........................Jumping Frog Experiment (DU)
.........................TED, Unveiling Synthetic Life - Video (S699)
.........................Biology Quotes (DU)
.........................Ripley's Believe It Or Not! (S696b)
.........................Short Biology Jokes
..............................Biology Exam (S776)
..............................Kids Say The Most Amazing Things (S725)
..............................Worms And Alcohol (S291, S651)
..............................Evolution GIF (S981)
..............................Life (S255)
..............................Who's In Charge Of The Body? (S439b)

Also see CLINTONSCNDL1- 'Brain Cells'
         COLLEGE1     - 'Cheek Cells Under A Microscope'
         COLLEGE2     - 'College Biology Class'
         FROG file    - 'Frog Phones Pyschic Hotline'
         Ig Nobel file- 'Biology Prize'
         LAWYER2 file - 'Lawyers As Test Rats'
         MATH2 file   - 'A Mathematician, Biologist And Physicist Count'

Subj:     Zebrafish Embryo (S898d)
          Photographed by Annie Cavanagh and David McCarthy, Microscopists
 Source: http://mashable.com/2014/04/04/wellcome-

Scanned micrograph of a four-day-old zebrafish embryo.
 to see an enlargement or go to the above
source to see all eight microscopic photos.
Subj:     Does Neil Tyson Think We Are Alone? (S730d)
          From: Wimp.com
          on 1/7/2011
 Source1: http://www.wimp.com/universealone/
 Source2: http://www.youtube.com/embed/CAD25s53wmE

 This seven minute video/lecture by Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson,
 host of Novascience Now, is one segment of a one hour,
 twenty-eight minute presentation (see third source) called
 'Cosmic Quandaries with Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson' held at
 St. Petersburg College.  This video answers the question,
 'Does Neil Tyson think we are alone in the universe?'
 Click 'HERE' to see this illuminating video.

Subj:     What a Wonderful World
.............with David Attenborough (S779d)
          From: Wimp.com on 12/22/2011
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/embed/B8WHKRzkCOY
 Source2: http://www.youtube.com/embed/auSo1MyWf8g
 Source3: http://www.wimp.com/wonderfulworld/

 In what is probably the best thing you will see today,
 naturalist and TV explorer extraordinaire Sir David
 Attenborough sings Louis Armstrong's classic "What a
 Wonderful World" as the beauty of nature is gorgeously
 displayed.  It'll make you smile, go on and watch it.

 Originally uploaded by the BBC on Dec 7, 2011 on their
 youtube channel: youtube.com/bbc.  It is part 7 of Frozen
 Planet series, a 7 part documentary.

 Click 'HERE' to see and hear this wonderful video.

Subj:     Macro Timelapse (S915d)
          Created by Daniel Csobot
          Published by Daniel Csobot
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/embed/D0I1LbX4YD0
 Source2: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=1397601783792100

 This timelapse video of the growth and movement of plants
 is very beautiful.  Click 'HERE' to see this amazing,
 timelapse video.

Subj:     Cicada Life Cycle (S688d in Bugs Etc)
          From: Wimp.com on 3/21/2010
 Source1: http://www.wimp.com/cicadacycle/
 Source2: http://www.youtube.com/embed/tjLiWy2nT7U

 After lying beneath the earth for up to 17 years, cicadas
 venture above ground as a massive group to shed their
 larvae shells, sprout wings and sing for a mate.  Sir David
 Attenborough demonstrates how easy it is to hypnotise a
 male cicada with the click of his fingers in this amazing
 wildlife video from BBC animal show 'Life in the Undergrowth'.

 Click 'HERE' to see this fascinating video.

Subj:     Jumping Frog Experiment (DU)

 There was this biologist who was doing some experiments with
 frogs.  He was measuring just how far frogs could jump.  So
 he puts a frog on a line and says "Jump frog, jump!".  The
 frog jumps 2 feet.  He writes in his lab book: 'Frog with 4
 legs - jumps 2 feet'.

 Next he chops off one of the legs and repeats the experiment.
 "Jump frog jump!" he says. The frog manages to jump 1.5 feet.
 So he writes in his lab book: 'Frog with 3 legs - jumps 1.5 feet'.

 He chops off another and the frog only jumps 1 foot.  He writes
 in his book: 'Frog with 2 legs jumps 1 foot'.

 He continues and removes yet another leg.  " Jump frog jump!"
 and the frog somehow jumps a half of a foot.  So he writes in
 his lab book again: 'Frog with one leg - jumps 0.5 feet'.

 Finally he chops off the last leg.  He puts the frog on the line
 and teels it to jump. "Jump frog, jump!".  The frog doesn't move.
 "Jump frog, jump!!!".  Again the frog stays on the line.  "Come
 on frog, jump!".  But to no avail.

 The biologist finally writes in his book:  'Frog with no legs -
 goes deaf'

Subj:     TED, Unveiling Synthetic Life (S699d)
          From: Wimp.com on 6/4/2010
Photo from YouTube.com
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/embed/QHIocNOHd7A
 Source2: http://www.wimp.com/syntheticlife/

 Craig Venter and team make a historic announcement: they
 have created the first fully functioning, reproducing cell
 controlled by synthetic DNA.  He explains how they did it
 and why the achievement marks the beginning of a new era
 for science.  Click 'HERE' to see this eighteen minute,
 TED video.

Subj:     Biology Quotes

 "Biology is the only science in which multiplication means
 the same thing as division."

 Enzymes are things invented by biologists that explain
 things which otherwise require harder thinking.
    -- Jerome Lettvin

 Physics-envy is the curse of biology. -- Joel Cohen

 A curious aspect of the theory of evolution is
 that everybody thinks he understands it.
    -- Jacques Monod _On the Molecular Theory of Evolution_ (1974)

 Orgel's Second Rule: Evolution is cleverer than you are.
    -- Francis Crick quoted by Daniel C. Dennett in _Elbow Room_ (1984)

 Evolution is a tinkerer.
    -- Francois Jacob "Evolution and Tinkering" (1977)

 A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg.
    -- Samuel Butler _Life and Habit_ (1877)

 People are DNA's way of making more DNA.
    -- Edward O. Wilson, 1975

 Much of what we know about man is derived from the
 study of sweet peas and a species of vinegar fly.

 The misnaming of fields of study is so common as to lead
 to what might be general systems laws.  For example, Frank
 Harary once suggested the law that any field that had the
 word "science" in its name was guaranteed thereby not to
 be a science.  He would cite as examples Military Science,
 Library Science, Political Science, Homemaking Science,
 Social Science, and Computer Science.  Discuss the
 generality of this law, and possible reasons for its
 predictive power.   -- Gerald Weinberg, "An Introduction
 to General Systems Thinking."

     by John Graziano on 4/29/2010
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/ripleysbelieveitornot/2010/04/29

Subj:     Short Biology Jokes

Subj:     Biology Exam (S776)
          From: allenbergman on 11/19/2011
 Source: http://funny-a-day.com/jokes/tag/mexicans/
 I took my Biology exam last Friday.  I was asked to name
 two things commonly found in cells.  Apparently "Blacks"
 and "Mexicans" were NOT the correct answers.

Subj:     Kids Say The Most Amazing Things (S725)
          From: darrellvip on 12/3/2010
 When asked on an elementary school quiz, "In what family do
 crabs belonged?", a student gave the following answer:
Subj:     Worms And Alcohol (S291, S651)
          From: grs on 97-12-04
      and From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 8/27/2002
 (Also see 'Minister Gives A Talk About Worms And Sin' in Preacher)
 A seventh grade Biology teacher arranged a demonstration
 for his class.  He took two earth worms and in front of
 the class.  He dropped the first worm into a beaker of
 water where it dropped to the bottom and wriggled about.
 He dropped the second worm into a beaker of Ethyl alcohol
 and it immediately shriveled up and died.  He asked the
 class if anyone knew what this demonstration was intended
 to show them.

 A boy in the second row immediately shot his arm up and,
 when called on said, "You're showing us that if you drink
 alcohol, you won't have worms."

Subj:     Evolution GIF (S981)
          From: Phyllis on Facebook on 10/27/2015
 Source: http://38.media.tumblr.com/35d8d24c4f8ad379e7cbb
Subj:     Life (S255)
          From: dogbyte on 12/17/2001
 Life is a biochemical reaction to the stimulus of the
 surrounding environment in a stable ecosphere, while
 a bowl of cherries is a round container filled with
 little red fruits on sticks.

 Therefore, life is NOT like a bowl of cherries!

Subj:     Who's In Charge Of The Body? (S439b)
          From: FrankRoesc on 99-03-05
 All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to
 decide who was in charge.  "I should be in charge," said
 the brain, "because I run all the body's systems, so with-
 out me nothing would happen."

 "I should be in charge," said the blood, "because I
 circulate oxygen all over, so without me you'd all waste

 "I should be in charge," said the stomach, "because I
 process food and give all of you energy."

 "I should be in charge," said the rectum, "because I'm
 responsible for waste removal."

 All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and
 insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.  Within
 a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the
 stomach was bloated, and the blood was toxic. Eventually
 the other organs gave in. They all agreed that the rectum
 should be the boss.

 The moral of the story?  You don't have to be smart or
 important to be in charge... just an asshole.

 Do molecular biologists wear designer genes?

 OLD BIOLOGISTS never die, they just ferment away

 Life is a sexually transmitted disease

 Life is anything that dies when you stomp it!

 Support bacteria - it's the only culture some people have!

 Thesaurus: ancient reptile with an excellent vocabulary.

 There was once a cloner named Hector,
 who had problems in his private sector,
 his wife was depressed,
 'cos his genes weren't experessed,
 for lack of a functioning vector!

 Biologists think they're biochemists.
 Biochemists think they're chemists.
 Chemists think the're physical chemists.
 Physical Chemists think they're physicists.
 Physicists think they're God.
 God thinks he is a mathematician

 Q: What does DNA stand for?
 A: National Dyslexics Association

From: icohen on 12/07/1999 (S149)
 Q: What is the difference between a hormone and an enzyme?
 A: You can't hear an enzyme.

                           -(o o)-
...........................From Smiley_Central