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ARE
YOU LONESOME TONIGHT? (Senior Citizen Version)
Are
you lonesome tonight?
Does
your memory stray,
Is
your hairline receding?
Does
your back give you pain?
Is
your blood pressure up?
All
that oat bran and fruit,
If
it's football or baseball,
So
your gallbladder's gone,
When
you turn out the light,
He
was once so romantic,
So
don't take any bets,
It's
as good as it gets, Tell
me dear, are you lonesome tonight?
Ladies
and gentlemen, Elvis has left the building.
Does
your tummy feel tight?
Did
you bring your mylanta and tums?
To
that bright sunny day,
When
you had all your teeth and your gums?
Your
eyes growing dim?
Hysterectomy
for her,
And
its prostate for him.
Do
your knees predict rain?
Tell
me dear, are you lonesome tonight?
Good
cholesterol down?
Are
you eating your low fat cuisine?
Metamucil
to boot.
Helps
you run like
A
well oiled machine.
He
sure knows the score.
Yes,
he knows where it's at
But
forgets what it's for.
But
your gout lingers on,
Tell
me dear, are you lonesome tonight?
When
you're hungry, he's not,
When
you're cold, he is hot,
Then
you start that old thermostat war.
He
goes left and you go right,
Then
you get his great symphonic snore.
So
witty and smart;
How
did he turn out to be such
A
cranky old fart?