.
.
>>>
 

Subj:    Math5 - Quotes And Problems
               (Includes 192 jokes and articles, 20926,13,cf,wT3,7)


Einstein picture
from
Accent on Animation
.
Includes the following:  Albert Einstein Plays The Violin - Video (S915)
.........................The Genius - GIF (S453)
.........................Quotes From Mathematician Paul Erdos (S233)
.........................Mutts Comic Strip (S588c)
.........................Math Quotations
..............................Chuckle Bros Comic Strip (DU)
.........................Herman Cartoon (S588c)
.........................Quotations By Albert Einstein (S54, S582b)
..............................Frank And Ernest On Einstein (S589b)
..............................Einstein Photo And Quote (S768)
..............................Einstein Bumper Sticker (S672b)
..............................Einstein Photo And Quote II (S805)
.........................Other Einstein References
.........................The Face (S591b)
.........................Strange Numbers
.........................Mother Goose And Grimm (S651b)
.........................Frazz Comic Strips (DU)
.........................Frank And Ernest Cartoon (DU)

The MATH1 file are nonmathematical math jokes
    MATH2 file are mathematical jokes
    Math3 file contains tests, and formulas
    Math4 file contains problems
    Math5 file contains quotes
    MATH6 file contains lymerics, short jokes, stories, and QA

===========================================================Top
Subj:     Albert Einstein Plays The Violin  (S915d)
          From: Laney Huda on Facebook
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/embed/MQFmSnG5Ets
.
.

.
.In this only known recording of Albert Einstein's
.violin playing he performs Mozart Sonata in B-flat.

Top
Subj:     The Genius (S453)
          From: LABLaughsRiddles on 9/21/2005
 Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)

 This animated GIF can be viewed on by clicking 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     Quotes From Mathematician Paul Erdos (S233)
          From: Science Jokes on 7/18/2001
 Source: https://books.google.com/books?isbn=0684859807
    and: https://books.google.com/books?isbn=0684859807

 Paul Erdos (Hungarian mathematician, 1913-1996), currently
 is the most prolific mathematician in history.

 1st Incident
 On one occasion, Erdos met a mathematician and asked him
 where he was from. "Vancouver," the mathematician replied.
 "Oh, then you must know my good friend Elliot Mendelson,"
 Erdos said.

 The reply was "I AM your good friend Elliot Mendelson."

 2ed Incident
 Paul Erdos had the habbit of phoning fellow mathematicians
 over the whole world, no matter what time it was.  He
 remembered the number of every mathematician, but did not
 know anybody's first name.  The only person he called by
 his Christian name was Tom Trotter, whom he called Bill.

From: LABLaughs@LABLaughs.com on 7/23/2002 (S286b)
 A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into
 theorems.  -- Paul Erdos

Top
Subj:     Mutts Comic Strip (S588c)
          By Patrick McDonnell on 4/24/2008
..........At: http://www.mutts.com/strips-archive#

 You can read this Earth Days quote by Albert Einstein
 by clicking 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     Math Quotations
          From: smiles on 2/28/00

 (also see 'Science Quotations And Others' in SCIENCE2)

 "God is real, unless declared integer."

 "Math illiteracy strikes 8 out of 5 people."

 "Life is good for only two things, discovering mathematics
  and teaching mathematics."     Simon Poisson.

 "According to my calculations, this problem doesn't exist"

 "Belief is no substitute for arithmetic."     Henry Spencer.

 "I never could make out what those damned dots meant." Lord
  Randolph Churchill (1849-95), British Conservative politician.
  Referring to decimal points.

 "As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they
  are not certain, and as far as they are certain, they do
  not refer to reality."  -- Albert Einstein (1879-1955).

 "Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive."
  See 'Booze And Calculus Don't Mix' - Sign in Bar-Supp

 "The mathematician has reached the highest rung on the
  ladder of human thought." Havelock Ellis (1859-1939),
  British sexologist.

 "One has to be able to count, if only so that at fifty one
  doesn't marry a girl of twenty."  -- Maxim Gorky.

 "Moriarty: "How are you at Mathematics?"
  Harry Secombe: "I speak it like a native."
  Spike Milligan (1918-), British comic actor and author.

 "One geometry cannot be more true than another; it can
  only be more convenient. Geometry is not true, it is
  advantageous."  -- Robert T. Pirsig (1928-), US writer.
  Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.

 "Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I
  can assure you mine are still greater."  -- Albert Einstein.

 "I like mathematics because it is not human and has
  nothing particular to do with this planet or with the
  whole accidental universe  because, like Spinoza's God,
  it won't love us in return."  -- Bertrand Russell
  (1872-1970), British philosopher.

 "The whole is more than the sum of the parts."
    -- Aristotle (384-322 BC)

 "I knew a mathematician who said 'I do not know as much as
  God.  But I know as much as God knew at my age'."
    -- Milton Shulman (1925-), Canadian writer, journalist,
       and critic.

 "Round numbers are always false."  -- Samuel Johnson (1709-84),
  British lexicographer.

 "No, it is a very interesting number, it is the smallest
  number expressible as a sum of two cubes in two different
  ways."  -- Srinivasa Ramanujan (1887-1920), Indian
  mathematician. Mathematician G. H. Hardy had referred to
  the number '1729' as 'dull'.

 "Engineers think that equations approximate the real world.
  Scientists think that the real world approximates equations.
  Mathematicians are unable to make the connection."

 "Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math." Bumper sticker.

 "It is rare to find learned men who are clean, do not stink
  and have a sense of humour."  -- Montesquieu (1689-1755)
  about Leibniz (1646-1716).

 "It was mentioned on CNN that the new prime number
  discovered recently is four times bigger than the previous
  ord."  --  John Blasik.

 "Q: Do you know what is the square root of 69 ?
  A: Ate something (8.xxxxxxx....)"

 "There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and
  those who can't." Bumper sticker.

 "Chess is a foolish expedient for making idle people believe
  they are doing something very clever when they are only
  wasting their time."  -- George Bernard Shaw.

 "The number you have dialed is imaginary.
  Rotate phone 90 degrees and try again."

 "Sobrit, rigueur et exactitude sont les trois mamelles des
  mathmatiques."  -- Manix.
 

Top
Subj:     Chuckle Bros (DU) on 1/5/2009
          by Brian and Ron Boychuk, Ronnie Martin
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/chucklebros
 This cartoon explaines Einsteins "Theory of Relatives."
 Click 'HERE' to view it.
 

Other quotations I have gathered through the years

 "The generation of random numbers is too important to be left
  to chance." Robert R. Coveyou Oak Ridge National Laboratory (S11)

 "Algebraic symbols are used when you do not know what you
  are talking about. -- Philippe Schnoebelen

  Moebius always does it on the same side.
  Heisenberg might have slept here.
  Statisticians probably do it.
  Algebraists do it in groups.
 (Logicians do it) or [not (logicians do it)].
   -- Aaron Avery, University of Wisconsin

 Professor Dirac, a famous Applied Mathematician-Physicist,
 had a horse shoe over his desk.  One day a student asked
 if he really believed that a horse shoe brought luck.
 Professor Dirac replied, "I understand that it brings you
 luck if you believe in it or not."

 C programmers do it with long pointers.
 (Logicians do it) or [not (logicians do it)].
   -- Scott Horne

 Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their
 functions.  -- John C. George, U.Illinois Urbana-Champaign
 From: Tim.Nelson@Canada.ATTGIS.COM (list of Old * Never Die,
 they just)

 OLD MATH TEACHERS never die, they just reduce to lowest terms
 OLD MATHEMATICIANS never die, they just disintegrate
 OLD MATHEMATICIANS never die, they just go off on a tangent
 OLD NUMERICAL ANALYSTS never die, they just get disarrayed
 OLD TRIGONOMETRY TEACHERS never die, they just lose their identities

 Definition: Jogging girl scout = Brownian motion.
   -- Ilan Vardi, Stanford

 "You have to regard everything I say with suspicion.  I may
  be trying to bullshit you, or I may just be bullshitting
  you inadvertently.  -- J. Wainwright, Mathematics 140b

 I saw the following scrawled on a math office blackboard in
 college:  1 + 1 = 3, for large values of 1
   -- Rob Gardner, HP Ft. Collins, CO

      lim      ----
     8-->9   \/ 8   = 3
   -- Donald Chinn, UC-Berkeley

    lim  3  =  8
   w->oo
   (It is more obvious when handwritten...)
   -- Jorge Stolfi, DEC Systems Research Center, Palo Alto, CA

 Mathematical Formula
  lim  (major) = P.E.
  GPA-->0                (S11)

 Asked how his pet parrot died, the mathmatican answered
 "Polynomial. polygon."
 ---
 Lumberjacks make good musicians because of their natural logarithms.
 ---
 Pie are not square. Pie are round. Cornbread are square.
 ---
 A physics joke: "Energy equals milk chocolate square"
   -- Naoto Kimura, Cal State-Northridge

 Russell to Whitehead: "My Godel is killing me!"
   -- Dennis Healy, Dartmouth

 "A person who can, within a year, solve x^2 - 92y^2 = 1 is
  a mathematician."  -- Brahmagupta

 First of all let me make it clear that I have nothing against
 contravariant functors.  Some of my best friends are cohomology
 theories!  But now you aren't supposed to call them contravariant
 anymore.  It's Algebraically Correct to call them 'differently
 arrowed'!!

 A mathematician is a person who says that, when 3 people are
 supposed to be in a room but 5 came out, 2 have to go in so
 the room gets empty.

 If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was
 standing on the shoulder of giants.    -- Isaac Newton

 In the sciences, we are now uniquely privileged to sit
 side by side with the giants on whose shoulders we stand.
   -- Gerald Holton

 If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants
 were standing on my shoulders.    -- Hal Abelson

 In computer science, we stand on each other's feet.
   -- Brian K. Reid

 "A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems"
    -- P. Erdos

 "Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them,
  they translate it into their own language, and forthwith it
  means something entirely different."  -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

 "The reason that every major university maintains a department
  of mathematics is that it is cheaper to do this than to
  institutionalize all those people."

 "The world is everywhere dense with idiots."  --  LFS

 Tom Potter: Life is complex. It has real and imaginary components.

 The four branches of arithmetic - ambition, distraction,
 uglification and derision. (Lewis Caroll: "Alice in Wonderland")

 A student at our high school a few years back, having had
 his fill with drawing graph after graph in senior high math
 class, told his teacher: "Mrs. ___, I'll do algebra, I'll
 do trig, and I'll even do statistics, but graphing is where
 I draw the line!" from kcarver@fox.nstn.ns.ca (Kevin Carver)

 Mathmatics is the alphabet with which God has written the
 universe  --  Galileo

 "What's one and one and one and one and one and one and one
  and one and one and one and one and one?" "I don't know"
  said Alice. "I lost count." "She can't do addition." said
  the Red Queen.  --  Lewis Carrol, "Through the lookingglass"

 From: ph2008 (CJ. Bradfield)philosophy:
 "A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking
  for a black cat which isn't there" - Charles Darwin

 I have hardly ever known a mathematician capable of
 reasoning.  -- Plato

 "Anyone who cannot cope with mathematics is not fully human.
  At best he is a tolerable subhuman who has learned to wear
  shoes, bathe and not make messes in the house."
    -- Lazarus Long, "Time Enough for Love"

 "Mathematics contains much that will neither hurt one if
  one does not know it nor help one if one does know it."
    -- J.B. Mencken

 "Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we
  never know what we are talking about, nor whether what
  we are saying is true.  -- Bertrand Russel

 "There is no natural phenomenon that is comparable with
  the sudden and apparently accidentally timed development
  of science, except perhaps the condensation of a super-
  saturated gas or the explosion of some unpredictable
  explosives.  Will the fate of science show some similarity
  to one of these phenomena?."  --  Wigner, Eugene P.
  (1902-1995) In an essay ``The Limits of Science'' intended
  to estimate them, originally in Procs. of the _Amer.
  Philosophical Soc._ v. 94, #5 (1950).

 "Never express yourself more clearly than you think."  ---N. Bohr

 "Furious activity is no substitute for understanding"
  -- H. H. Williams

 "It is a capital mistake to theorise before one has data.
  Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories
  instead of theories to suit facts."     - Sherlock Holmes

 "It is one Thing, to show a Man that he is in an Error,
  and another, to put him in possession of Truth." - John Locke

 "The symbols are so illuminating that the fact that the text
  is incomprehensible doesn't much matter"  - A.N. Prior

 "You should never bet against anything in science at odds
  of more than about 10^12 to 1." -- Ernest Rutherford

Subj:     Thoughts On Sums
          From: tom_fisher on 98-01-08
 I do hate sums.  There is no greater mistake than to call
 arithmetic an exact science.  There are permutations and
 aberrations discernible to minds entirely noble like mine;
 subtle variations which ordinary accountants fail to discover;
 hidden laws of number which it requires a mind like mine to
 perceive.  For instance, if you add a sum from the bottom
 up, and then again from the top down, the result is always
 different.  -- Mrs. La Touche (19th cent.)

From: humorlist-digest V2 #248 on 98-10-17
 "Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong
  conclusion with confidence."  -- Manly's Maxim

 "Only someone who understands something absolutely can
  explain it so no one else can understand it."
    -- Rudnicki's Nobel Prize Principle

From the book 'Beowulf's Children' by Niven,
Pournelle, and Barnes (S104)
 "I tell them that if they will occupy themselves with the
  study of mathematics, they will find in it the best remedy
  against the lusts of the flesh."
    -- Thomas Mann, The Magic Mountain

From: Science Jokes on 7/18/01 (S233)
At: http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/
 Ernst Eduard Kummer (1810-1893), a German algebraist, was
 rather poor at arithmetic.  Whenever he had occasion to
 do simple arithmetic in class, he would get his students
 to help him.  Once he had to find 7 x 9.  "Seven times
 nine," he began, "Seven times nine is er -- ah --- ah --
 seven times nine is. . . ."  "Sixty-one," a student
 suggested. Kummer wrote 61 on the board.  "Sir," said
 another student, "it should be sixty-nine."  "Come,
 come, gentlemen, it can't be both," Kummer exclaimed. "It
 must be one or the other."

 Paul Erd?s had another version of this story, how Kummer
 calculated 7 x 9: Kummer said to himself: "Hmmm the
 product cannot be 61, because 61 is prime, it cannot be
 65, because 65 is a multiple of 5, 67 is a prime, 69 is
 too big - Only 63 is left."

From: LABLaughs.com on 9/28/2002 (S295b)
 Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing
 random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
   -- John von Neumann (1903-1957)

From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 3/27/2006 (S479b)
 "Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their
  age in half, double the price of their clothes, and
  always add at least five years to the age of their best
  friend."  -- Marcel Achard

From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 11/24/2006 (S514b)
 Teaching kids to count is fine,
 but teaching them what counts is best.

From the book Dreamfall by Joan D. Vinge (S678b)
 Published by Tom Doherty Associates Books, N.Y., 2004
 "We arrive at truth, not by reason only,
  but also by the heart."  -- Pascal

Top
Subj:     Herman Cartoon (S588c)
          By Jim Unger on 4/22/2008
..........At: http://www.gocomics.com/herman/2008/04/22

 You can view this cute Herman cartoon by clicking 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     Quotations By Albert Einstein (1879-1955) (S54, S582b)
          From: smiles on 12/28/1999

 (See 'Einstein Stories' in PHYSICS2
  and the picture 'Einstein And Women' in MATH5)

On Knowledge
 - "Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex,
    and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot
    of courage -- to move in the opposite direction."
 - From: LABLaughs@LABLaughs.com on 3/12/2002 (S267c)
   "I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my
    imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge.
    Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world."
      -- Einstein.
 - "The only real valuable thing is intuition."
 - "Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not
    simpler."
 - "Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired
    by age eighteen."
 - "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your
    sources."
 - "The only thing that interferes with my learning is my
    education."
 - "The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity
    has its own reason for existing."

His Understanding of the World:
 - "I want to know God's thoughts; the rest are details."
 - "The hardest thing in the world to understand
    is the income tax." (S269c)
 - "I am convinced that He (God) does not play dice."
 - "The eternal mystery of the world is its comprehensibility."
 - "Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character."
 - "Science without religion is lame. Religion without science
    is blind." (S345b)
 - "Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by
    understanding."
 - "The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it
    is comprehensible."
 - "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity;
    and I'm not sure about the former."
 - "Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth
    and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods."
 - "I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought,
    but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."
 - "In order to form an immaculate member of a flock of sheep
    one must, above all, be a sheep."
 From: LABLaughs@LABLaughs.com on 7/8/2002 (S284b)
 - "Not everything that counts can be counted, and not every-
    thing that can be counted counts." (Sign hanging in
    Einstein's office at Princeton)
      --  Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
 - "The must incomprehensible thing about the universe is
    that it is comprehensible."
 

Top
Subj:     Frank And Ernest On Einstein (S589b)
          By Bob Thaves on 5/1/2008
 At: http://www.gocomics.com/frank-and-ernest/2008/05/01

 You can read this cute comic strip about Albert Einstein
 by clicking 'HERE'.
 

On People and Life:
 - "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."
 - "A person starts to live when he can live outside himself."
 - "I never think of the future. It comes soon enough."
 - "Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for
    nothing."
 - "Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried
    anything new."
 - "Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition
    from weak minds."
 - "Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love."
 - "No, this trick won't work...How on earth are you ever
    going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so
    important a biological phenomenon as first love?"
 - "My religion consists of a humble admiration of the
    illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the
    slight details we are able to perceive with our frail
    and feeble mind."
 - "The release of atom power has changed everything except
    our way of thinking...the solution to this problem lies
    in the heart of mankind.  If only I had known, I should
    have become a watchmaker."
 - "Great spirits have always found violent opposition from
    mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man
    does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices
    but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence."
 - "The most beautiful thing we can experience is the
    mysterious.  It is the source of all true art and all
    science.  He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can
    no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as
    good as dead: his eyes are closed."
 - "Now he has departed from this strange world a little
    ahead of me.  That means nothing.  People like us, who
    believe in physics, know that the distinction between
    past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent
    illusion."
 - "You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long
    cat.  You pull his tail in New York and his head is
    meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this?  And
    radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals
    here, they receive them there.  The only difference is
    that there is no cat."
 - "A human being is a part of a whole, called by us _universe_,
    a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself,
    his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the
    rest... a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness.
    This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us
    to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons
    nearest to us.  Our task must be to free ourselves from
    this prison by widening our circle of compassion to
    embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in
    its beauty."
 - "If I had my life to live over again, I'd be a plumber."
 - "Nothing will benefit human health and increase the chances
    for survival of life on Earth as much as the evolution to
    a vegetarian diet"
 -  Albert Einstein, who fancied himself as a violinist, was
    rehearsing a Haydn string quartet.  When he failed for
    the fourth time to get his entry in the second movement,
    the cellist looked up and said, "The problem with you,
    Albert, is that you simply can't count."
 

Top
From: Ruby Lou on 9/29/2011 (S768)
 Source: (removed from TheMetaPicture.com in Facebook)
.
.......
.
On Math and Science and Education:
 - "Science is a wonderful thing if one does not have to
    earn one's living at it."
 - "God does not care about our mathematical difficulties. He
    integrates empirically."
 - "The whole of science is nothing more than a refinement of
    everyday thinking."
 - "Technological progress is like an axe in the hands of a
    pathological criminal."
 - "We can't solve problems by using the same kind of
    thinking we used when we created them."
 - "Education is what remains after one has forgotten
    everything he learned in school."
 - "Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics.  I
    can assure you mine are still greater."
 - "Equations are more important to me, because politics is
    for the present, but an equation is something for
    eternity."
    From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 11/13/2002 (S302b)
 - "If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z.
    Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut."
 - "As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they
    are not certain, as far as they are certain, they do not
    refer to reality."
 - "Yes, we have to divide up our time like that, between our
    politics and our equations.  But to me our equations are
    far more important, for politics are only a matter of
    present concern.  A mathematical equation stands forever."
 - "...one of the strongest motives that lead men to art and
    science is escape from everyday life with its painful
    crudity and hopeless dreariness, from the fetters of one's
    own ever-shifting desires.  A finely tempered nature
    longs to escape from the personal life into the world of
    objective perception and thought."
 -  When a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems
    like a minute.  But let him sit on a hot stove for a
    minute -- and it's longer than an hour.  That's relativity.
 - "If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be
    called research, would it?."
 - "You do not really understand something unless you can
    explain it to your grandmother."
 - "One had to cram all this stuff into one's mind for the
    examinations, whether one liked it or not.  This coercion
    had such a deterring effect on me that, after I had
    passed the final examination, I found the consideration
    of any scientific problems distasteful to me for an
    entire year."
 - "I never thought that others would take them so much more
    seriously then I did."  -- Albert Einstein about his theories
 - "The grand aim of all science is to cover the greatest number
    of empirical facts by logical deduction from the smallest
    number of hypotheses or axioms."
 - "It is the supreme art of the teacher to awaken joy in
    creative expression and knowledge."  -- Albert Einstein
 - "Teaching should be such that what is offered is preceived
    as a valuable gift and not as a hard duty."  -- Albert Einstein

Top
Subj:     Einstein Bumper Sticker (S672b)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 11/18/2009
 Source: (Removed from buffaloschips.com)
.
..........
.
 You're aware the boy failed my grade school math class, I
 take it?  And not that many years later he's teaching college.
 Now I ask you: Is that the sorriest indictment of the American
 educational system you ever heard?  [pauses to light cigarette.]
 No aptitude at all for long division, but never mind.  It's
 him they ask to split the atom.  How he talked his way into
 the Nobel prize is beyond me.  But then, I suppose it's like
 the man says, "It's not what you know..."
 Karl Arbeiter: former teacher of Albert Einstein

 From: Colin_Douthwaite
 Einstein was attending a music salon in Germany before the
 second world war, with the violinist S. Suzuki.  Two Japanese
 women played a German piece of music and a woman in the
 audience excaimed:  "How wonderful!  It sounds so German!"
 Einstein responded:  "Madam, people are all the same."

 From: Colin_Douthwaite
 This is a story I heard as a freshman at the University of
 Utah when Dr.  Henry Eyring was still teaching chemistry
 there.  Many years before he and Dr. Einstein were colleagues.
 As they walked together they noted an unusual plant growing
 along a garden walk.  Dr. Eyring asked Dr. Einstein if he
 knew what the plant was.  Einstein did not, and together
 they consulted a gardner.  The gardner indicated the plant
 was green beans and forever afterwards Eyring said Einstein
 didn't know beans [g].  I heard this second hand and I don't
 know if the story has ever been published...

From: humorlist-digest V3 #18 on 99-01-21 (S104)
 Seen on a truck:
 "I am as smart as a horse and hung like Einstein!"

From: LABLaughs.com on 2/28/2002 (S265c)
 Don't fear failure so much that you refuse to try new
 things.  The saddest summary of life has three parts..
 what to do, when to do and why to do ?.  -- Albert Einstein

From: LABLaughs.com on 3/8/2002 (S266c)
 "Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with
 their own hearts."  -- Albert Einstein

From: LABLaughs.com on 4/5/2002 (S270)
 "There are only two ways to live your life.  One is as
  though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though
  everything is a miracle."  -- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

From: LABLaughs.com on 4/27/2002 (S273c)
 The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the
 same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
   -- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

From: LABLaughs.com on 6/1/2002 (S278b)
 It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has
 exceeded our humanity.  -- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

From: LABLaughs.com on 7/3/2002 (S283b)
 It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear
 -- that engendered religion. -- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

From: Puneet385 on 10/5/2002 (S296b)
 Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into
 nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes
 easy.  -- Albert Einstein

From: LABLaughs.com on 10/17/2002 (S298b)
 I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious.
   -- Albert Einstein

From: igiggle on 4/26/2003 (S326b)
 You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great
 ideas.  I've only ever had one.  -- Albert Einstein.

From: LABLaughs.com on 5/26/2003 (S330b)
 Great spirits have always found violent opposition from
 mediocre minds.  -- Albert Einstein

From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.net on 2/23/2005 (S422)
 Joy in looking and comprehending is nature's most beautiful gift.
   -- Albert Einstein

From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.net on 4/21/2005 (S430b)
 "Scientific research is based on the idea that everything
 that takes place is determined by laws of nature, and there-
 fore this holds for the action of people.  For this reason,
 a research scientist will hardly be inclined to believe that
 events could be influenced by a prayer, i.e. by a wish
 addressed to a Supernatural Being."  -- Albert Einstein,
 1936, responding to a child who wrote and asked if scientists pray.

From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 7/10/2005 (S443b)
 Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The
 important thing is to not stop questioning.  -- Albert Einstein

From: LABLaughsRiddles on 9/20/2005 (S453b)
 "The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the
  people who are evil, but because of the people who don't
  do anything about it."  --  Albert Einstein.

From: igiggle on 11/15/2005 (S460b)
 Albert Einstein never learned how to drive a car.

From: LABLaughsRiddles on 1/2/2005 (S467b)
 "Never regard study as a duty, but as the enviable
  opportunity to learn to know the liberating influence of
  beauty in the realm of the spirit for your own personal
  joy and to the profit of the community to which your later
  work belongs."  -- Albert Einstein

From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 5/18/2006 (S486b)
 "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and
  expecting different results."  -- Albert Einstein

From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 5/5/2006 (S502b)
 "Men marry women with the hope they will never change.  Women
  marry men with the hope they will change.  Invaribly they
  are both disappointed."  -- Albert Einstein

From: LABLaughs.com on 10/10/2006 (S507b)
 "The ideas that have lighted my way have been kindness,
  beauty and truth."  -- Albert Einstein

From: LABLaughs.com on 12/3/2009  (S677b)
 "Love is a better teacher than duty."
    -- Albert Einstein

Top
Subj:     Einstein Photo And Quote II (S805)
          From: Patricia Dillow on 6/14/2012
Drawing from KimsCritiquingCorner...
 Source1: Photos on Facebook
 Source2: MacAttram.TypePad.com
 Click 'HERE' to see this wonderful photo and great quote by Albert Einstein.


Also see for Other Einstein References
.....'Einstein and Compound Interest' in Banking Supp
.....'Photo Of Einstein On A Bike' in Bicycle
.....'Einstein's Guitar Formula' in Music
.....'Einstein's Grades' in Physics2
.....'Einstein Stories' in Physics2
.....'Einstein's Chauffeur' in Physics2
.....'Einstein's Entangled States' - Video in Physics2
.....'Another of Einstein's Theories' in Physics2

Top
Subj:     The Face (S591b in Illusions19)
          From: darrellvip on 5/14/2008

 This is the craziest thing I've seen in a long time.  For
 those of you in the 21st century (e.g. blackberry owners),
 you'll need to look at this on a pc.  You also have to get
 out of your seat and walk away from your computer.  People
 may think you're crazy.  But it's well worth it.

 When you look at this picture in a closer look you see its
 Albert Einstein, but if you stand 5 meters distance, it
 will become Marilyn Monroe.  Click 'HERE' to view it.

Top
Subj:     Strange Numbers
          From: Scott's Joke Archive 0n 5/31/97

DID YOU KNOW
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

12,345,679 times any two digit number that adds to nine is strange.

'e' and pi are irrational, 'i' is an imaginary number, yet

         i(pi)
        e      =  -1

* If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies,
  you have $1.19.  You also have the largest amount of money
  in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
  (This would make a GREAT math brain teaser!)

Top
Subj:     Mother Goose And Grimm (S651b)
          By Mike Peters on 7/1/2009
 Source: http://www.grimmy.com/comics.php
.
.
.
.Top
Subj:     Frazz Comic Strips (DU)
          By Jef Mallett on 9/21/2009
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/frazz/2009/09/21

 Click 'HERE' to see these three comic strips about Einstein.

Top
Subj:     Frank And Ernest Cartoon (DU)
          By Bob Thaves on 7/18/2009
..........At: http://www.gocomics.com/frank-and-ernest/2009/07/18

 Click 'HERE' to see this cute cartoon about Einstein
 in heaven.
.
.
                            \\\//
                           -(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo======================
.
.............................Einstein smiley from Millan.net.

.