(Includes 38 jokes and articles, 15 1096,10,cL3f,wYT2b7a,7)
Click "Here" for Music-Supp
and Click "Here" for Music-Supp2
for more music files.
AGAG Animation Gallery
Also see ACCIDENTS1 - 'Lully's
ARKANSAS file- 'Emi Sunshine And The Backporch Cloggers' - Music Video
ASIAN-SUPP - 'Rolling Ball plays Bach On Xylophone' - Ad
AUSTRALIAN - 'Beatbox Brilliance By Tom Thum' - Video
BAR SUPP - 'Piano Player Wanted In A Bar'
.........BASKETBALL - 'NBA Christmas Carol By Dribbling' - Video
BIG_CATS - 'Electric Catnip' - GIF w/Music
BIOLOGY file - 'What a Wonderful World with David Attenborough' - Video
BRDS-CHICK-SB- 'Chicken Plays America the Beautiful' - Video
BIRDS-PARROT - 'The Christmas Bird'
BLACK2 file - '"We Built This" Blackish TV Musical' - Video
......................- 'Sister Rosetta Tharpe - Didn't It Rain' - Video
......................- 'Christopher Does YMCA'
BOXING file - 'Trivia Bits Column in ContraCostaTimes.com'
BUCKLEY file - 'Lord Buckley'
.........CANADIAN - '"STRONGER BEER" Tim Hicks - Lyric Video'
.........CATS1 file - 'The Aristocats Animated GIF'
.........CHRISTMAS1 - 'We Wish You A Merry Christmas on Jay Leno's Show' - Video
......................- 'White Trash Christmas' - Video
.........CHRISTMAS2 - 'Season's Greeting From Hatchlings Of Angry Birds Movie'
.........CHRISTMAS4 - 'Playing Weeweechu'
......................- 'BK Holiday Music'
.........CHRISTMAS-SUP- 'Walk Off The Earth Rock Band' - Videos
......................- 'Captain Picard Sings "Let It Snow!"' - Video
......................- 'The Christmas Shoes Song By NewSong' - Video
COMPUTERS3 - 'Eleanor Rigby Revised!'
COWBOY file - 'Do-It-Yourself Country And Western Song'
COWBOY2 file - 'Top 17 Country Songs'
COWS_SHEEP - 'Man Plays Trombone In Field' - Video
DARWIN AWRDS1- 'Dying At A Metallica Concert'
DATING1 file - 'The Dad's Side of the Story' - Video/Song
DOCTOR1 file - 'The Colon-Rectal Surgeon Song'
DOCTOR2 file - 'Proctologist Studies In Morgue'
DOG-SUPP file- 'Dog Plays The Piano And Sings' - Video
DOG-SUPP2 - 'Dog Musician' - Video
DRINKING-BR1 - 'VB Stubby Symphony'
ELDERLY2 file- 'Older Ladies by Donnalou Stevens' - Music Video
ELEPHANT file- 'Lion Seul'
ENGINEER3 - 'The Engineer Song'
ENGLISH-SUPP - 'Britain's Got Talent 2011: Edward Reid' - Video
FART file - 'The Ring Of Fire'
......................- 'Farting Dog Harmonics'
FOOD_ETC2 - 'Chinese Food Song'
......................- '"Cat In The Kettle" By Aaron Wilburn'
.........FOOD_ETC-SUPP- 'Pickles Sunday Comic Strip'
.........FORTH_OF_JULY- 'Stars Stripes Forever By Doug Smith' - Video
.........FROG file - 'Man Goes To Restraunt w/Hamster And Frog'
GERMANY file - 'The World Is Going Crazy'
GOD-SUPP - 'Diamond Rio's "In God We Still Trust"'
.........HEAD/ADS Supp- 'The Stanley Steemer Variations (by Mia)' - Music Video
......................- 'IronWorkz, A Rock Band' - Video
.........HEAVEN1 file - 'Three Men At The Pearly Gates III'
HONEYMOON - 'George Younce Sings "Side By Side"' - Video
HOOKER file - 'The Animals - House of the Rising Sun' - Video
HOSPITAL2 - 'I'm Not Dead, And Yet I'm In Hell'
HOSPITAL-SUPP- 'The Blue Shield Song' - Musical Video
HUNTING-CAMP - 'Ted Nugent On Deer Hunting'
ILLUSIONS23 - 'OK Go - The Writing's On the Wall' - Music Video
IRISH1 file - '"The Sick Note" Song By Sean Cannon' - Video
IRISH2 file - 'U2 Concert In Ireland'
JESUS file - 'Proof that Elvis was Jesus'
.........JOBS-STUFF - 'Mary Poppins Quits w/Kristen Bell' - Video
JOBS-STUF-SUP- 'Charts Music'
LATIN AMERICA- 'Peruvian Musical Water Jugs' - Video
......................- 'Rodafonio's Live Music Wheel!' - Video
MARRAGE5 - 'Things You Don't Say To Your Wife' - Song/Video
MATH4-SUPP - 'The Band Crosses A Bridge'
MEN4 file - 'Man Song 2'
MEXICAN file - 'Cheech Sings The Mexican Americans Song' - Video
MOVIE_ETC-SUP- 'Playing Your Trumpet In A Movie'
MOVIE_ETC-SU2- 'The Land Of Sandra Dee - Poem'
MOVIE2-SUPP - 'King Tut-Saturday Night Live w/Steve Martin - Music Video
MOVIES(Picts)- 'Blaupunkt, Stuffed Animal Sex'
NATIONAL-SUPP- 'Ray Stevens - Come to the USA' - Video
......................- 'US History With The Boston Pops' - Video
NATIONAL-SUP2- 'Madison Rising - The Star Spangled Banner' - Video
NERD file - 'Weird Al - White And Nerdy' - Video
NUDIST file - 'Ray Stevens - The Streak' - Video
NUNS1 file - 'Oh Happy Day With Whoopi Goldberg' - Music Video
OTHER-ANIMALS- 'The Good Morning Squirrel'
OTH-ANIM-SUPP- 'A Mariachi Band Serenading A Beluga Whale' - Video
OTH-OCCUP-SUP- 'French Marionette Plays And Sings' - Video
PENIS-SUPP - '84 Year Old STUNS Americas Got Talent' - Video
......................- 'Willie Nelson Quotation'
PHYSICS1 file- 'Mallard Comic Strip'
PLANE-SUPP - 'TSA Song By Buck Howdy' - Video
.........PLANE-SUPP2 - 'Cheap Flights With Subtitles' - Video
POETRY file - 'Daniel Radcliffe Raps' - Video
POLIT-BUSH-SU- 'Bush Sings U2's "Sunday Bloody Sunday"'
POLIT-OBAMA - 'You Picked A Fine Time To Lead Us, Barack' - Video/Song
POLIT-SUPP2 - 'Politicians At Work - Russian Music Video'
.........POLIT-SUPP3 - 'I Think My Dog's A Democrat' - Video
.........PREACHER-SUPP- 'Preacher Who Looked Like Conway Twitty'
QUOTES-CMD-SP- '"Osama Bin Laden" Song Performed By Frank Skinner' - Video
......................- 'Crazy World by Chris Rock'
......................- 'Patsy Cline Song/Comedy Video'
QUOTES-CMD-S2- 'Amy G Plays The Kazoo' - Video
REDNECK2 file- 'Stuck on YOU'
REDNECK-SUPP - 'Kevin Skinner On America's Got Talent' - Video
RELIGION1 - 'II Divo sings "Amazing Grace" - Video/Song
RIDDLES file - 'A What Am I Riddle #23'
SAILOR-MARINE- 'A Sailor Gets A Harmonica'
SCIENCE-SUPP - 'House of Rising Sun - Musical Tesla Coils' - Video
SCOTTISH file- 'The Drunken Scotsman With Lyrics' - Video/Song
SHIPS file - 'Bad Musician On A Cruse Ship'
SOLDIER-SUPP - 'A Pittance Of Time - Video/Song'
SOLDIER-SUPP2- 'Andrews Sisters - Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy' - Video
......................- 'KISS Concert In Iraq' - Video
STARTRK-SPACE- 'Dark Side Of The Moon' - Drawing
STARTREK-SUPP- 'David Bowie's Space Oddity' - Video
......................- 'Star Trek: Tik Tok' - Video
STARTREK-SUP2- 'Solar Eclipse 2017 - Snoopy and Charlie Brown Pink Floyd T-Shirt'
STORIES file - 'True Story Of Taps'
STORIES-SUPP - 'Little Girl Lost At Concert'
SWEDISH_ETC - 'HMKG Norwegian Drill Team On Ice' - Video
TAXES-SUPP - 'Taxman -- Harrison And Clapton' - Video
TEST-SUPP - 'Two Tough Questions'
THO-LEARNED1 - 'Sonny Rollins' Advice To The Young' - Video
THO-WARM - 'Happy Kids Africa - Pharrell Williams' - Video
THO-WARM-SUPP- 'Where The Hell Is Matt? 2012' - Video
YOU_R_FRM-SUP- 'Michael Jackson - Cry' - Music Video
VALENTINE - 'Tonight You Belong To Me By Jive Aces' - Music/Video
Subj: Minions Play Beach Boys Instrumental
From: Bonita Ahlers on Facebook (S968d-On Site)
....Click 'HERE' to hear the Minions play the Banana Song.
Subj: Mozart Dies (S19, S739)
From: LABLaughs.com on 6/10/2004
When Mozart passed away, he was
buried in a churchyard. A
couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the
cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area
where Mozart was buried.
Terrified, the drunk ran and
got the priest to come and
listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard
some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave.
Frightened, the priest ran and
got the town magistrate.
When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave,
listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Mozart's
Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."
He listened a while longer, and
said, "There's the Eighth
Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling." So the
magistrate kept listening; "There's the Seventh...the Sixth
...the Fifth..." Suddenly the realization of what was
happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced
to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow
citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Mozart
Jimmy Sings 'Barbara Ann' (S950d-iFrame)
Made by The Tonight Show w/Jimmy Fallon
Jimmy Fallon sings the Beach
Boys' classic "Barbara Ann"
with five of his brand new wax figures from Madame Tussauds.
You can view it by clicking 'HERE'.
Subj: Dead Man With Cork In Butt (S237)
From: kmacinty on 8/13/2001
A student of proctology is in
the morgue one day after
classes, wanting to get a little practice in before
the final exams. He goes over to a table where a body
is lying face down. He uncovers the body and, to his
surprise, he finds a cork in the corpse's rectum.
Figuring that this is fairly
unusual, he pulls the cork
out and, to his absolute surprise, music begins playing:
"On the road again...just can't wait to get on the road
again..." The student is amazed, and pops the cork back
into the anus. The music stops.
Totally freaked out, the student
calls the Medical
Examiner over to the corpse. "Look at this, this is
really something," the student tells the examiner as he
pulls the cork back out again. They hear: "On the road
again...just can't wait to get on the road again..."
"So what?" the Medical Examiner
unimpressed with the student's discovery.
"But isn't that the most amazing
thing you've ever seen?"
asked the student.
"Are you kidding?" replied the
examiner, "Any asshole can
sing country music."
Subj: Pearls Before Swine Sunday Comic Strip (S953)
By Stephan Pastis on 10/19/2014
From: Joe Flambo on Facebook
(Also see "Who's
On First" in Baseball)
.This strip's title is 'Who's on First' - rock and roll edition.
Subj: Action Stars Portray Famous Composers (S106, S398)
From: mbucher on 99-02-03
Steven Spielberg was discussing
his new project - an action
docudrama about famous composers starring top movie stars.
Sylvester Stallone, Steven Segal, Bruce Willis, and Arnold
Schwarzenegger were all present. Spielberg strongly desired
the box office oomph of these superstars, so he was prepared
to allow them to select whatever composers they would portray,
as long as they were very famous.
"Well," started Stallone, "I've
always admired Mozart. I would
love to play him."
"Chopin has always been my favorite,
and my image would improve
if people saw me playing the piano" said Willis. "I'll play him."
"I've always been partial to
Strauss and his waltzes," said
Segal. "I'd like to play him."
Spielberg was very pleased with
these choices. "Sounds
splendid." Then, looking at Schwarzenegger, he asked, "Who do
you want to be, Arnold?"
So Arnold says........
.....(wait for it)......
(its a good one!).....
"I'll be Bach."
3 Year-Old Xylophonist
..........on 1/13/2006 (S469b,d-iFrame)
This amazing video is about a
musical prodigy. You
can view it by clicking 'HERE'.
Subj: The Day The NASDAQ Died (S174)
From: Anaise on 6/1/00
The Day the NASDAQ died...
Sung to the tune of "American Pie":
A long, long week ago
I can still remember how the market used to make me smile
What I'd do when I had the chance
Is get myself a cash advance
And add another tech stock to the pile.
But Alan Greenspan made me shiver
With every speech that he delivered
Bad news on the rate front
Still I'd take one more punt.
I can't remember if I cried
When I heard about the CPI
I lost my fortune and my pride
The day the NASDAQ died.
So bye-bye to my piece of the
Now I'm gettin' calls for margin
'Cause my cash account's dry
It's just two weeks from a new all-time high
And now we're right back where we were in July
We're right back where we were in July.
Did you buy stocks you never
QCOM at 150 or above?
'Cos George Gilder told you so
Now do you believe in Home Depot?
Can Wal-Mart save your portfolio?
And can you teach me what's a P/E ratio?
Well, I know that you were leveraged
So you can't just take a long-term view
Your broker shut you down
No more margin could be found.
I never worried on the whole
Buying dot coms from the back of a truck
But Friday I ran out of luck
It was the day the NASDAQ died.
I started singin'
Bye-bye to my piece of the pie
Now I'm gettin' calls for margin
'Cause my cash account's dry
It's just two weeks from a new all-time high
And now we're right back where we were in July
Yeah we're right back where we were in July.
Subj: Einstein's Guitar Formula (S919)
From: Chris Fallon on Facebook
.Einstein explains the science behind why I need another guitar.
Subj: Beethoven's Ninth (S33)
A number of years ago, the Seattle
Symphony was doing
Beethoven's Ninth under the baton of Milton Katims... At
this point, you must understand two things:
(1) There's a long segment in this symphony where the
bass violins don't have a thing to do. Not a single
note for page after page.
(2) There used to be a tavern called Dez's 400 right
across the street from the Seattle Opera House,
rather favored by local musicians.
It had been decided that during this performance, after the
bass players had played their parts in the opening of the
Ninth, they were to quietly lay down their instruments and
leave the stage rather than sit on their stools looking and
feeling dumb for twenty minutes.
Well, once they got backstage,
someone suggested that they
trot across the street and quaff a few brews. After they
had downed the first couple rounds, one said, "Shouldn't we
be getting back? It'd be awfully embarrassing if we were late."
Another, presumably the one who
suggested this excursion in
the first place, replied, "Oh, I anticipated we could use a
little more time, so I tied a string around the last pages
of the conductor's score. When he gets down to there,
Milton's going to have to slow the tempo way down while he
waves the baton with one hand and fumbles with the string
with the other."
They had another round and finally
returned to the Opera
House, a little tipsy by now. However, as they came back on
stage, one look at their conductor's face told them they
were in serious trouble. Katims was furious! And why not?
After all... It was the bottom of the Ninth, the score was
tied, and the basses were loaded.
Subj: The Dickhead Song (S1009d-iFrame)
By Miles Betterman
From: Sam Perkins on 5/18/2016
............Click 'HERE' to hear the Dickhead song.
Subj: Schubert's Unmanaged Symphony (S51)
From: humorlist-digest V2 #9 on 98-01-10
A managed healthcare company
president was given a ticket
for a performance of Schubert's Unfinished Symphony. Since
she was unable to go, she gave the ticket to one of her
managed care reviewers. The next morning she asked him how
he had enjoyed it. Instead of a few observations about the
symphony in general, she was handed a formal memorandum
which read as follows:
1. For a considerable period,
the oboe players had nothing
to do. Their number should be reduced, and their work
spread over the whole orchestra, avoiding peaks of
2. All 12 violins were playing
identical notes. This seems
an unneeded duplication, and the staff of this section
should be cut. If a volume of sound is really required, this
could be accomplished with the use of an amplifier.
3. Much effort was involved in
playing the 16th notes. This
appears to be an excessive refinement, and it is recommended
that all notes be rounded up to the nearest 8th note. If
this were done it would be possible to use para-professionals
instead of experienced musicians.
4. No useful purpose is served
by repeating with horns the
passage that has already been handled by the strings. If all
such redundant passages were eliminated then the concert
could be reduced from 2 hours to twenty minutes.
5. The symphony had two movements.
If Mr. Schubert didn't
achieve his musical goals by the end of the first movement,
then he should have stopped there. The second movement is
unnecessary and should be cut. In light of the above, one
can only conclude that had Mr. Schubert given attention to
these matters, he probably would have had time to finish
Subj: Picking A Band Name (S1011)
By Tom Salpino
From: Sam Perkins on 5/25/2016
Subj: An Ethical Question (S119)
From: smiles on 5/14/99
If you knew a woman who was pregnant,
who had 8 kids already,
three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded,
and she had syphilis; would you recommend that she have an abortion?
If you said yes, you just killed Beethoven.
Line Rider Animation w/Music
From: Gayle Coleman
..........on 10/14/2017 (S1084d-On Site)
to see and hear the song 'In the Hall of the
Mountain King' synchronized to the line rider animation.
Willie Nelson Sings
............."Still Not Dead"
From: Jerry Warren
..........in 2018 (S1096d-On Site)
Click 'HERE' to see and hear Willie Nelson sing "Still Not Dead".
Subj: Short Music Jokes (S205)
Horny Guy (S459b)
..........on 11/8/2005 (d-iframe)