Subj:  Physics2 Jokes
            (Includes 34 jokes and articles, 20926,25,cf,wXT3,16)

Moving Fire from
AGAG Animation Gallery
Includes the following:  Physics Cup Games - 3 Games and 3 Videos (S822)
.........................Seth MacFarlane Tells The History Of The Universe -Vid(S896)
.........................Wright's Law: A Unique Teacher - Video (S842)
.........................Einstein's Grades (S827)
.........................Non Sequitur Comic Strip (S628c)
.........................Flying Horse - Gatorrada (Cat-Toast) - Video (S802)
.........................Tom Noddy's Bubble Magic - Video (S728)
.........................Justin Hall-Tipping: Freeing Energy From The Grid -Vid(S772)
.........................The Search For Hidden Dimensions - Video  (S706b)
.........................Magic Pen - Game (S590)
.........................Finding Height With A Barometer (S173, S588c)
.........................Critics Fear Collider Could Doom Earth (S598)
.........................Einstein Stories
.........................Ripley's Believe It Or Not! (S644b)
.........................Einstein's Chauffeur (S240, S528b)
.........................Einstein's Entangled States - Video (S926)
.........................Another of Einstein's Theories (S585, S824)
.........................Quantum Physics (DU)
.........................The Museum of Unworkable Devices (S458b)
.........................The Science Of Shoe (DU)
.........................Opus Explains Gravity (S603c)
.........................Schrodinger's Cat Poems (DU)
.........................Frank And Ernest On Einstein - Cartoon (S533c)
.........................Is Hell Exothermic Or Endothermic? (S36, S776)
..............................South Park On Edothermic Reactions (S653b)
.........................The Adventures Of Micro-Farad And Milli-Amp
.........................Herman Sunday Comic Strip (S641)
.........................Frank And Ernest Comic Strip (S607c)

PHYSICS1 contains things that are almost jokes
PHYSICS2 contains sort of jokes
PHYSICS3 contains oddities and short jokes
Subj:     Physics Cup Games (S822d) 
          From: gaylevallejo on 10/6/2012
Drawings from GameJB.com
.Source: http://www.physicsgames24.com/category/physics-games/
 The above source has a over 750 physics-
 based games that can be played online.
Drawing from Mr G's De Ferrers...
 Each game of the 750 games involve solving graphics based
 puzzles using elementary physics and logic.  Five of these
 games are titled Physics Cup Games.  Physics Cup Playoff
 Game, Physics Cup3, and Physics Cup2 are on my site.
Subj:     Physics Cup Playoff Game
..........(20 game levels)
.Guide the ball to the goal by solving physics puzzles.
 Light green grass blocks are removable - same goes for
 the green players.  Click 'HERE' to start. Game has
 a slow load.
Subj: Physics Cup Playoff Walkthrough
Source: https://www.youtube.com/
Click 'HERE' to see a walkthrough
of this game.
Drawing from tom on 8/21/2009
 Subj:   Physics Cup3
.........(20 game levels)

 Source: (Removed from wow1.com)

 My copy does not have any ads, so just press "Start'. The
 first level teaches you how to play the game.  Click on
 'HERE' to begin the fun.
 Subj: Physics Cup3 Walkthrough
 Source: https://www.youtube.com/

 Click 'HERE' to see a walkthrough of this game.

Subj:   Physics Cup2
........(25 game levels)
.On my copy, an ad will attempt to load as the 'Play Game'
 button in the bottom right turns gray.  Press this button
 and then press the 'Start' button under Sir Isaac Newton.
 Click 'HERE' to begin.
Subj: Physics Cup2 Walkthrough
Source: https://www.youtube.com/

Click 'HERE' to see a walkthrough of this game.


Subj:     Seth MacFarlane Tells Bill Maher
.............The History Of The Universe (S896d)
          From: Real Time with Bill Maher Show
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/embed/7SjQsD9L3Kk
 Source2: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=1015202

 Seth MacFarlane tells Bill Maher on Real Time how the
 universe started - and reveals that The Cosmos program
 has had references to evolution taken out for some
 audiences.  Click 'HERE' to see the very entertaining
 Seth MacFarlane.

Subj:     Wright's Law: A Unique Teacher  (S842d)
.............Imparts Real Life Lessons (in School-Supp3)
          From: Mel's Video of the Day on 2/28/2013
 Source1: https://www.youtube.com/embed/9bSu_Snlbsw
 Source2: http://www.coolestone.com/media/5390/

 Jeffrey Wright uses wacky experiments to teach children about
 the universe, but it is his own personal story that teaches
 them the true meaning of life.  Click 'HERE' to learn about
 Physics, the Universe, and the real meaning of love, life,
 and family.

Subj:     Einstein's Grades (S827d)
          From: tom on 10/20/2012
 Source1: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/
 Source2: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/
Photo from Wikipedia.org...
 (Also see 'MATH5' for more interesting material on Einstein)

 In late summer 1895, at the age of sixteen, Einstein sat
 the entrance examinations for the Swiss Federal Polytechnic
 in Zurich. He failed to reach the required standard in
 several subjects, but obtained exceptional grades in physics
 and mathematics.  On the advice of the Principal of the
 Polytechnic, he attended the Aargau Cantonal School in Aarau,
 Switzerland, in 1895-96 to complete his secondary schooling.

 Click 'HERE' to see how young Albert did in school.
English: The certificate of maturity issued to
Albert Einstein in 1896, at the age of 17, after
attending the cantonal high school in Aarau,
Switzerland. In this scoring scheme, 6 is the
highest, and 1 the lowest grade.
scanned from p. 29 of the book "Albert Einstein -
Derri?re l'image", by Ze'ev Rosenkranz. Editions
Neue Z?rcher Zeitung, 2005. ISBN 3-03823-182-7. 
The authorities of the Canton of Aargau, Switzerland 
Subj:     Non Sequitur Comic Strip (S628c)
          By Wiley Miller on 1/19/2009
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/nonsequitur/2009/01/19
Subj:     Flying Horse - Gatorrada (Cat-Toast) 
          By Algebraic Videos on 5/26/2012 (S802d)
Photo from YouTube.com...
 Source1: https://www.youtube.com/embed/Z8yW5cyXXRc
 Source2: http://vimeo.com/39431187
 Source3: http://www.wimp.com/perpetualmotion/
 Source4: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buttered_cat_paradox
 (Also see 'New Scientific Developments' in Science1)

 This video is a commercial for Flying Horse energy drink.

 A paradox arises when one considers what would happen
 if one attached a piece of buttered toast (butter side
 up) to the back of a cat, then dropped the cat from a
 large height.
....Cats always land on their feet.
....Buttered toast always lands buttered side down.
 How will the cat-toast land?

 Click 'HERE' to answer this paradox.

Subj:     Tom Noddy's Bubble Magic (S728d)
          From: Wimp.com
          on 12/27/2010
 Source1: https://www.youtube.com/embed/lcraIOkc2ZU
 Source2: http://www.wimp.com/bubblemagic/

 Tom Noddy introduced America and the world to Bubble
 Magic via television in the early 80's.  Tom's Bubble
 Magic has been presented on television shows all over
 the world...Universities, Physics and mathematics
 conferences, variety theaters, science and discovery
 centers, nightclubs, corporate events and Galas.
 Click 'HERE' to see this great act.

Subj:     Justin Hall-Tipping: Freeing Energy
.............From The Grid (S772d)
          Made by TED on 10/29/2011
 Source: https://www.youtube.com/embed/rsuB-6-n-MM

 What would happen if we could generate power from our
 windowpanes?  In this moving talk, entrepreneur Justin
 Hall-Tipping shows the materials that could make that
 possible, and how questioning our notion of 'normal'
 can lead to extraordinary breakthroughs.

 Click 'HERE' to see this amazing TED video made in
 Edinburgh, Scotland in July 2011.

Subj:     The Search For Hidden Dimensions  (S706b,d)
          From: Wimp.com
          on 7/25/2010
 Source1: https://www.youtube.com/embed/BB1B42HYvZg
 Source2: http://www.wimp.com/hiddendimensions/

 Brian Greene explains how extra dimensions may solve
 several problems in physics, and gives his stance on
 the possibility of a "multi-verse".  To learn more
 about String Theory, watch Brian Greene's "The Elegant
 Universe" on NOVA: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/elegant/.

 Click 'HERE' to see this illuminating explanation.

Subj:     Magic Pen (S590)
          From: gayleheckman on 4/30/2008
Drawing from BubbleBox.com...
 Source: http://www.bubblebox.com/game/Puzzle/975.htm

 Way back in 1687 Sir Isaac Newton wrote down his famous three
 laws of motion. Now, centuries later, these three basic rules
 have finally found their use.

 You are presented a hands-on experience seeing these basic laws
 of physics being applied to the shape you have just drawn.  You
 can combine object with pins and hinges to create machines that
 come to life as they are affected by gravity.  Make clever use
 of their momentum to reach your goal.
Try to beat all 26 challenging levels at the above
source.  There is a Video Walkthroughs if you need
help.  This is a wonderful, educational game.

Subj:     Finding Height With A Barometer (S173, S588c)
          From: collins2 on 5/20/00

 The following concerns a question in a physics degree exam
 at the University of Copenhagen: "Describe how to determine
 the height of a skyscraper with a barometer."

 One student replied:

 "You tie a long piece of string to the neck of the barometer,
 then lower the barometer from the roof of the skyscraper to
 the ground.  The length of the string plus the length of the
 barometer will equal the height of the building."

 This highly original answer so incensed the examiner that
 the student was failed immediately.  The student appealed on
 the grounds that his answer was indisputably correct, and
 the university appointed an independent arbiter to decide
 the case.  The arbiter judged that the answer was indeed
 correct, but did not display any noticeable knowledge of
 physics.  To resolve the problem it was decided to call the
 student in and allow him six minutes in which to provide a
 verbal answer which showed at least a minimal familiarity
 with the basic principles of physics.

 For five minutes the student sat in silence, forehead
 creased in thought.  The arbiter reminded him that time was
 running out, to which the student replied that he had
 several extremely relevant answers, but couldn't make up
 his mind which to use.  On being advised to hurry up the
 student replied as follows:

 "Firstly, you could take the barometer up to the roof of
 the skyscraper, drop it over the edge, and measure the
 time it takes to reach the ground.  The height of the
 building can then be worked out from the formula
 H = 0.5g x t squared.  But bad luck on the  barometer."

 "Or if the sun is shining you could measure the height
 of the barometer, then set it on end and measure the
 length of its shadow.  Then you measure the length of
 the skyscraper's shadow, and thereafter it is a simple
 matter of proportional arithmetic to work out the height
 of the skyscraper."

 "But if you wanted to be highly scientific about it, you
 could tie a short piece of string to the barometer and
 swing it like a pendulum, first at ground level and then
 on the roof of the skyscraper.  The height is worked out
 by the difference in the gravitational restoring force
 T = 2 pi sqr root (l / g)."

 "Or if the skyscraper has an outside emergency staircase,
 it would be easier to walk up it and mark off the height
 of the skyscraper in barometer lengths, then add them up."

 "If you merely wanted to be boring and orthodox about it,
 of course, you could use the barometer to measure the air
 pressure on the roof of the skyscraper and on the ground,
 and convert the difference in millibars into feet to give
 the height of the building."

 "But since we are constantly being exhorted to exercise
 independence of mind and apply scientific methods,
 undoubtedly the best way would be to knock on the
 janitor's door and say to him 'If you would like a nice
 new barometer, I will give you this one if you tell me
 the height of this skyscraper'."

 The student was Niels Bohr, the only Dane to win the
 Nobel prize for Physics.

Subj:     Critics Fear Collider Could Doom Earth (S598)
          By DOUGLAS BIRCH,AP ( in Science1)
          From: AOL Science News on 6/30/2008
......Photo from Martial Trezzini, Keystone/AP
 MEYRIN, Switzerland (June 29) - The most powerful atom-smasher
 ever built could make some bizarre discoveries, such as invisible
 matter or extra dimensions in space, after it is switched on in
 August.  Click 'HERE' to read the article.

Subj:     Einstein Stories
          From: Ossama's Laugh on 1/31/98

 (Also see 'MATH5' for more interesting material on Einstein)

 A group of nuclear physicists gathered in Las Vegas for an
 important symposium.  During their free time they congregated
 in casinos and it soon became evident that Dr. Einstein was
 spending all his time at the blackjack tables.  "Einstein is
 gambling as if there is no tomorrow, " remarked one of the
 scientists. "What bothers me," another said worriedly, "is
 that he might know something."

 Some years ago Einstein and Chaim Weizmann sailed to America
 together.  When they arrived for a convention Dr. Weizmann
 was asked how they spent their time together. "Throughout
 the voyage, the professor kept talking to me about his
 theory of relativity."  "And what is your opinion about it?"
 "It seems to me," concluded Weizmann, "that Professor
 Einstein understands it very well."

 Professor Higgin to Einstein, "Good morning, sir.  How are
 you?"  Professor Einstein, "Relative to what?"

 Professor Higgin to Einstein, "What's wrong, sir.  You look
 down."  Professor Einstein, "My wife just doesn't understand

Einstein couldn't speak fluently when he was nine.
     His parents thought he might be retarded.

     by John Graziano on 5/6/2009
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/ripleysbelieveitornot/2009/05/06
Click on the button below

     for this amazing 

       true story.


Subj:     Einstein's Chauffeur (S240, S528b)
          From: Ossama's Laugh on 1/31/98
      and From: Joke-of-the-Day@mail.com on 3/7/2007

 (Also see 'MATH5' for more interesting material on Einstein)

 When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's
 circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get
 back to his laboratory work.  One night as they were driving
 to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to
 his chauffeur (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in
 looks ? manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.

 "I have and idea, boss," his chauffeur said. "I've heard you
 give this speech so many times. I'll bet I could give it for

 Einstein laughed loudly and said, "Why not? Let's do it!"

 When they arrive at the dinner, Einstein donned the
 chauffeur's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room.
 The chauffeur gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein's
 speech and even answered a few questions expertly.

 Then a supremely pompous professor ask an extremely esoteric
 question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and
 there to let everyone in the audience know that he was
 nobody's fool.

 Without missing a beat, the chauffeur fixed the professor
 with a steely stare and said, "Sir, the answer to that
 question is so simple that I will let my chauffeur, who is
 sitting in the back, answer it for me."

Subj:     Einstein's Entangled States (S926d)
          By Chad Orzel
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/embed/DbbWx2COU0E
 Source2: http://ed.ted.com/lessons/einstein-s-

 When you think about Einstein and physics, E=mc^2 is
 probably the first thing that comes to mind. But one
 of his greatest contributions to the field actually
 came in the form of an odd philosophical footnote in
 a 1935 paper he co-wrote -- which ended up being wrong.
 Chad Orzel details Einstein's "EPR" paper and its
 insights on the strange phenomena of entangled states.
 Click 'HERE' to learn about entanglement.

Subj:     Another of Einstein's Theories (S585, S824)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 4/4/2008
      and From: virv on 10/22/2012

 (Also see 'MATH5' for more interesting material on Einstein)

 Einstein was born March 14, 1879. He would be 128 if he
 were alive today. Few people remember that the Nobel
 Prize winner married his cousin, Elsa Lowenthal, after
 his first marriage dissolved in 1919. At the time he
 stated that he was attracted to Elsa because she was so
 well endowed. He postulated that if you are attracted
 to women with large breasts, the attraction is even
 stronger if there is a DNA connection. This came to be
 know as.......
Einstein's Theory of 'Relative Titty'
Photo from The Tizona Group
Subj:     Quantum Physics (DU)
          From: Ossama's Laugh on 1/5/98

 (This just materialized on my desk one day.  It's in my
 handwriting, so I must have written it, though I'll deny
 it if I'm indicted. -AA)

 The topic for today is quantum physics.  Quantum physics
 was developed in the 1930's, as a result of a bet between
 Albert Einstein and Niels Bohr, to see who could come up
 with the most ridiculous theory and still have it published.
 Most people agree that Bohr won hands down, although
 Einstein did very well in the swimsuit competition.

 One of the most important researchers in quantum physics
 is Werner Heisenberg, a man with a wonderful sense of humor,
 who was always cracking one-liners, like "delta-p times
 delta-x is less than h!" Ha! ha! What a card!  This is
 known as Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle, which is
 closely related to Goedel's Incompleteness Theorem, which
 says that some things are true, but you can't prove them,
 like when my wife and I argue over whether it's her turn
 to take out the garbage or not.

 What Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle says is that if
 something is small enough, you can't say anything about
 it.  Anyone with the I.Q. of baking powder immediately
 understood that this means that if you look at something
 so small that you can't even *see* it, like my dog, Oscar
 Wilde's, brain, then you obviously can't tell, say, what
 color it is.

 But some people didn't get the joke, and decided to
 investigate this principle further.  They would gather
 and sit around all day, drinking beer and performing
 "Gedankesexperimenten," or "Thank God we're theoretical
 physicists so we don't have to get our hands dirty with
 particle accelerators and other heavy machinery."  The
 most famous of these is Schroedinger's Cat, where several
 physicists kidnap Erwin Schroedinger's cat Fluffy and
 lock it up in a box, along with a radioactive source
 such as Cheez Doodles.  Then they walk around with
 concerned expressions on their faces, commenting about
 how they don't know what's going on inside the box.
 This goes on until the cleaning lady discovers the box,
 opens it and tells the physicists whether the cat is
 dead, or whether it has mutated into a man-eating flea
 the size of Norway.

 The point of this experiment is to show that uncertainty
 at the quantum level can be detected in the macroscopic
 world and produce widespread anxiety and paranoia.  It
 also explains why paper clips just lie there while you
 look at them, but as soon as you turn your back, they
 run away, giggling wildly, and transform themselves into
 coat hangers.

 Another famous researcher is Richard Feynman, who
 invented Feynman diagrams, which are bunches of squiggly
 lines with greek letters next to them.  The way they
 were discovered was, one day, Hans Bethe came in to
 Feynman's office to say that some of the guys down in
 particle research were having a jam session down by the
 cyclotron, and would Richard like to come over and bring
 his bongos?  Feynman was out, at the time, cracking a
 safe or something, so Bethe tried to leave him a note.
 On the desk, he found one of Feynman's daughter's
 kindergarten drawings.  Bethe couldn't make head or tail
 of it, and figured that if even he couldn't understand
 it, then it must be something Terribly Clever, and
 promptly called it a Feynman diagram.

 This was a major scientific breakthrough, and ever since,
 proud parents have been hanging their children's Feynman
 diagrams on refrigerators with little muon-shaped magnets,
 confident that their Little Darlings are developing
 important scientific theories every day, because they are,
 after all, Gifted Children.

Subj:     The Museum of Unworkable Devices (S458b)
          From: igiggle on 11/3/2005

 People who enjoy math, physics, and engineering
 will like this site.

Subj:     The Science Of Shoes (DU)
          From: OXyMoron Humour Archive on 07/01/97

 Oh, wise all-knowing Oracle! Tell me.:

 Why can I only take very small steps, when I have bought a
 pair of shoes?

 Truly, your question touches upon the deepest mysteries of
 the nature of the physical universe.

 The process of shoe generation, like many events in physics,
 has about it a certain symmetry.  Just as a passing gamma
 ray sometimes produces an electron and an anti-electron,
 the colossal cosmic energies which lead to shoe creation
 precipitate the formation of both a shoe and an anti-shoe.
 This fact explains why shoes nearly always occur in pairs,
 and why the two shoes in a pair are mirror images of each

 Most pairs of shoes, once produced, quickly come together
 and annihilate in a burst of radiation.  Indeed, in the
 early universe, shoes rarely if ever existed for more than
 a fraction of a second (which is why artists typically
 portray Adam and Eve as going barefoot).  However, as the
 great physicist George Reebok suggested in the mid-1970's,
 shoe production occasionally occurred very near to the
 event horizon of a black hole.  In these cases, one shoe
 would be sucked into the hole, while the other shoe would
 be spun out of the vicinity, to be thrown willy-nilly
 across the voids of space.  These unmatched "cosmic shoes"
 sometimes enter the planet's atmosphere and fall to earth,
 where they are often seen on the sides of highways.

 Although shoes have stabilized somewhat due to the cooling
 of the universe, there is still a strong attractive force
 between a shoe and its anti-shoe.  This force is mediated
 by a spin-1 particle known as a futon (an English corruption
 of the original German "fuSSon"). Futon exchange is readily
 observed among the bins of shoes found at K-Mart, which
 contain the raw by-products of high-energy boot collisions.

 The force impeding your steps is due to the exchange of
 futons between the shoe and its anti-shoe.  The exchange
 usually manifests itself as a stream of white plastic-like
 particles.  The solution to your problem is to increase
 the potential energy between the shoes by pulling them
 apart; this will reduce the attraction and make walking
 easier.  Since you must add a complete quantum of energy
 before the futon exchange slackens, do not be surprised if
 the shoes resist strongly, then "snap apart" all at once.

 The manufacturers of more expensive shoes usually provide
 the necessary increase in potential energy before shipping.
 However, the Oracle has it on good authority that a few
 discount shoe manufacturers are instead breaking the shoe
 /anti-shoe symmetry by a dastardly and highly secretive
 method.  When a pair of socks is raised to high energies
 (e.g. by being heated and tossed in the dryer), it is
 fairly easy to destroy one of the socks entirely; the
 energy released by breaking the sock-symmetry is enough
 to separate several shoe pairs.  Hence, certain companies
 are quietly destroying socks in the world's dryers in
 order to support their shoe separation facilities.  The
 result is a lot of missing socks and terrible
 consternation among sock owners, all for a few cents'
 reduction in the price of shoes. The Oracle is frankly

 We hope that our explanation has clarified your problem.
 You owe the Oracle a pair of Doc Martens - size 10D, please.

Subj:     Opus Explains Gravity (S603c)
          by Berkeley Breathed on July 13,2008
..........At: http://www.salon.com/2008/07/13/opus_55/

 Opus comic strip explains how gravity works.  You can
 view this wonderful Sunday comic strip by clicking 'HERE'.

 You can view other great Opus Comic Strips by clicking

Subj:     Schrodinger's Cat Poems (DU)
          From: OXyMoron Humour Archive on 07/01/97

 Apologies to Bill Clinton
 Schrodinger's cat's a mystery cat, he illustrates the laws;
 The complicated things he does have no apparent cause;
 He baffles the determinist, and drives him to despair
 For when they try to pin him down--the quantum cat's not there!
 Schrodinger's cat's a mystery cat, he's given to random decisions;
 His mass is slightly altered by a cloud of virtual kittens;
 The vacuum fluctuations print his traces in the air
 But if you try to find him, the quantum cat's not there!
 Schrodinger's cat's a mystery cat, he's very small and light,
 And if you try to pen him in, he tunnels out of sight;
 So when the cruel scientist confined him in a box
 With poison-capsules, triggered by bizarre atomic clocks,
 He wasn't alive, he wasn't dead, or half of each; I swear
 That when they fixed his eigenstate--he simply wasn't there!

 More on Schrodinger's cat:
 In the US there exists syndicated newspaper column called
 "The Straight Dope", where 'Uncle' Cecil Adams answers
 questions on all manner of questions, of an ilk with
 alt.folklore.urban for those familiar with that bastion of
 legend smashing.  He published this explanation of Schrodinger's
 cat a few years ago ....

 Cecil, you're my final hope
 Of finding out the true Straight Dope
 For I have been reading of Schrodinger's cat
 But none of my cats are at all like that.
 This unusual animal (so it is said)
 Is simultaneously live and dead!
 What I don't understand is just why he
 Can't be one or the other, unquestionably.
 My future now hangs in between eigenstates.
 In one I'm enlightened, the other I ain't.
 If you understand, Cecil, then show me the way
 And rescue my psyche from quantum decay.
 But if this queer thing has perplexed even you,
 then I will and won't see you in Schrodingers's zoo.

 Schrodinger, Erwin! Professor of physics!
 Wrote daring equations! Confounded his critics!
 (Not bad, eh? Don't worry. This part of the verse
 Starts off pretty good, but it gets a lot worse.)
 Win saw that the theory that Newton'd invented
 By Einstein's discov'ries had been badly dented.
 What now? wailed his colleagues. Said Erwin, "Don't panic,
 No grease monkey I, but a quantum mechanic.
 Consider electrons. Now, these teeny articles
 Are sometimes like waves, and then sometimes like particles.
 If that's not confusing, the nuclear dance
 Of electrons and suchlike is governed by chance!
 No sweat, though - my theory permits us to judge
 Where some of 'em is and the rest of 'em was."
 Not everyone bought this. It threatened to wreck
 The comforting linkage of cause and effect.
 E'en Einstein had doubts, and so Schrodinger tried
 To tell him what quantum mechanics implied.
 Said Win to Al, "Brother, suppose we've a cat,
 And inside a tube we have put that cat at -
 Along with a solitaire deck and some Fritos,
 A bottle of Night Train, a couple mosquitoes
 (Or something else rhyming) and, oh, if you got 'em,
 One vial prussic acid, one decaying ottom
 Or atom - whatever - but when it emits,
 A trigger device blasts the vial into bits
 Which snuffs our poor kitty. The odds of this crime
 Are 50 to 50 per hour each time.
 The cylinder's sealed. The hour's passed away. Is
 Our pussy still purring - or pushing up daisies?
 Now, *you'd* say the cat either lives or it don't
 But quantum mechanics is stubborn and won't.
 Statistically speaking, the cat (goes the joke),
 Is half a cat breathing and half a cat croaked.
 To some this may seem a ridiculous split,
 But quantum mechanics must answer, 'Tough s**t.
 We may not know much, but one thing's fo sho':
 There's things in the cosmos that we cannot know.
 Shine light on electrons - you'll cause them to swerve.
 The act of observing disturbs the observed -
 Which ruins your test. But then if there's no testing
 To see if a particle's moving or resting
 Why try to conjecture? Pure useless endeavor!
 We know probability - certainty, never.'
 The effect of this notion? I very much fear
 'Twill make doubtful all things that were formerly clear.
 Till soon the cat doctors will say in reports,
 'We've just flipped a coin and we've learned he's a corpse.'"
 So said Herr Erwin. Quoth Albert, "You're nuts.
 God doesn't play dice with universe, putz.
 I'll prove it!" he said, and the Lord knows he tried -
 In vain - until fin'ly he more or less died.
 Win spoke at the funeral: "Listen, dear friends,
 Sweet Al was my buddy. I must make amends.
 Though he doubted my theory, I'll say of this saint:
 Ten-to-one he's in heaven - but five bucks says he ain't."

 Mobius' Mouse

 Flappity, floppity, flip
 The mouse on the Mobius strip;
 The strip revolved,
 The mouse dissolved
 In a chronodimensional skip.

Subj:     Frank And Ernest On Einstein (S533c)
          By Bob Thaves on 4/10/2007
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/frank-and-ernest/2007/04/10
Subj:     Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic? (S36, S776)
          From: ArmaDillow on 97-08-06
      and From: bud32252 on 11/27/2011

 A thermodynamics professor had written a take-home exam for
 his graduate students.  It had one question: "Is hell
 exothermic (gives off heat, a spark, flame, or explosion)
 or endothermic (absorbs heat)?  Support your answer with a

 Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using
 Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it
 is compressed) or some variant.  One student, however wrote
 the following:

 First, we postulate that if souls exist, they must have some
 mass.  If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass.

 So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate
 are souls leaving?  I think that we can safely assume that
 once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave.  Therefore, no
 souls are leaving.

 As for souls entering hell, lets look at the different
 religions that exist in the world today.  Some of these
 religions state that if you are not a member of their
 religion, you will go to hell. Since there are more than
 one of these religions and people do not belong to more
 than one religion, we can project that all people and all
 souls go to hell.  With birth and death rates as they are,
 we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase

 Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell.
 Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and
 pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass
 of souls and volume needs to stay constant.

 #1 So, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate
 at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure
 in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose.

 #2 Of course, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than
 the increase of souls in hell, than the temperature and
 pressure will drop until hell freezes over.

 So which is it?

 If we accept the postulate given me by Therese Banyan
 during Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell
 before I sleep with you,', and take into account the fact
 that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations
 with her, then #2 cannot be true, and hell is exothermic.
 [The student got an A+.]
Smiley from: tom on 7/9/2009
If you are confused, maybe watching this South Park's
explanation of endothermic reactions will help.
Click on http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/176020/
Subj:      The Adventures Of Micro-Farad And Milli-Amp
           From: Daemonic Funnies Page

     One night when his charge was pretty high, Micro-Farad
 decided to seek out a cute coil to let him discharge.
     He picked up Milli-Amp and took her for a ride on his
 Megacycle.  They rode across the Wheatstone Bridge, around
 the sine waves, and stopped in the magnetic field by a flowing
     Micro-Farad, attracted by Milli-Amp's characteristic
 curves, soon had her fully charged and excited her resistance
 to a minimum.  He laid her on the ground potential, raised
 her frequency, and lowered her reluctance.
     He pulled out his high voltage probe and inserted it in
 her socket, connecting them in parallel and began short
 circuiting her resistance shunt.  Fully excited, Milli-Amp
 mumbled, "OHM-OHM-OHM."
     With his tube operating at a maximum and her field
 vibrating with his current flow,  it caused her shunt to
 overheat, and Micro-Farad was rapidly discharged and drained
 off every electron.
     They fluxed all night trying various connections and
 sockets until his magnet had a soft core and lost all of
 its field strength.
     Afterwards, Milli-Amp tried self-induction and damaged
 her solenoids.  With his battery fully discharged, Micro-
 Farad was unable to excite his field, so they spent the
 rest of the night reversing polarity and blowing each
 other's fuses.
                       THE END

Subj:     Herman Sunday Comic Strip (S641)
          By Jim Unger on 4/19/09 (in Trees)
 Source: http://comics.com/herman/

 This Herman comic strip discusses the riddle of whether
 a tree falling in a forest makes a sound if people are
 are not there.  Click 'HERE' to read this cute strip.

Subj:     Frank And Ernest Comic Strip (S607c)
          By Bob Thaves on 8/20/2008
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/frank-and-ernest/2008/08/20

 Frank and Ernest discuss converting matter into energy in
 this comic strip.  Click 'HERE' to view it.

                           -(o o)-
..........................From Smiley_Central.