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Subj:     Science1 Jokes
                 (Includes 84 jokes and articles, 09 1013,20,cf,wXT3,13)

Microscope from
Animated Cliparts
Includes the following:  Ripley's Believe It Or Not! II (S652b)
.........................i.am FIRST - Science Is Rock And Roll - Video (S761)
.........................Time Travel - Video (S679b)
.........................Is 2012 The End? - Video (S676)
.........................Northern Lights in Finland - Video (S943)
.........................Do Aliens Exist? - Video (S669b)
.........................2,500 Lbs of Cornstarch On Ellen Degeneres Show -Vid (S618c)
.........................Short Jokes About Unit Conversions (S135, S893)
.........................Critics Fear Collider Could Doom Earth (S598)
.........................Message From An Alien Civilization (S107, DU)
.........................Frazz Sunday Comic Strip (S667b)
.........................Mammatus Clouds - 6 Photos (S457b)
.........................Night Before Christmas, Scientifically Explained (DU)
.........................Bill Gates On Energy And Climate - Video (S684b)
.........................A Scientist And A Poet (S186)
.........................Ruler Experiment - Video (S676b)
.........................Real Science As Seen By Students (S51)
.........................Ripley's Believe It Or Not! (S641c)
.........................Clarke's Laws (S616b)
.........................8 Amazing Holes! (S613c)
.........................Laws In Science, Engineering, And Life
.........................A Volcano In Chile Erupts (S608b)
.........................Basic Guide for Scientists (S469)
..............................Science Classification
..............................Rules for Laboratory Workers
..............................Finagle's Laws, Creed, and Motto
.........................The McGurk Effect: Watch Your Ears Lie To You - Video (S720)
.........................Murphy's Laws Of Research
.........................Frank And Ernest Cartoon (S623c)
.........................New Scientific Developments
.........................Power Of Ten - PPS (S548b)
.........................Non Sequitur Cartoon (S1013)
.........................Naica Crystal Caves - PPS (S544c)
 

Also see ACCIDENTS1   - 'Francis Bacon's Death'
         BEARS file   - 'Two Foreign Scientists Study Grizzlys'
         BIRDS-CHICKEN- 'FAA Test'
         CHEMISTRY    - 'Scientists Discover New Element'
......................- (the whole file)
         CHICKEN file - 'Why Did The Chicken...(Scientists)?'
         HOWTO-SUPP   - 'TED - Massimo Banzi Explains Arduin
         JUDGE file   - 'Carl Sagan Sues'
         LAWS file    - 'Mallard Fillmore On Light Bulbs'
         MATH1 file   -  (all the files)
         MATH2 file   - 'Ripley's Believe It Or Not!'
......................-..(the whole file)
         MATH3 file   -  (the whole file)
         MATH4 file   -  (the whole file)
         MATH5 file   -  (the whole file)
         MATH6 file   -  (the whole file)
         OTH-ANIM-SUPP- 'Theo Jansen's Strandbeests' - Video
.........OTH-OCC-SUPP2- 'Ana Yang Gazillion Bubble Show' - Video
         PHYSICS1     -  (the whole file)
         PHYSICS2     -  (the whole file)
         PHYSICS3     -  (the whole file)
         PSYCH-SUPP   - 'Perceptual Blindness Test'
         SCHOOL1 file - 'Why Science Teachers Should Not Be In Charge Of Recess'
         SCHOOL-SUPP2 - 'Children's Science Exam Answers:'
         SCHOOL-SUPP3 - 'The Phenom Harriett Ball' - Video
         STARTREK_SPC2- 'Armageddon Asteroids'
         THO-TIME-SUPP- 'Thousands Expect Apocalypse in 2012'
         WORD_JOKES1  - 'The First Human Clone'

=============================================================Top
(S652b)
     by John Graziano on 7/6/2009
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/ripleysbelieveitornot/2009/07/06
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Subj:     i.am FIRST - Science Is Rock And Roll
          From: Wimp.com on 7/10/2011 (S761d)
 Source1: https://www.youtube.com/embed/vYuOKb3gO7E
 Source2: http://www.wimp.com/elementaryschool/
 Text from Examiner.com

 Black Eyed Peas star Will.i.am has partnered with science
 inventor and educator, Dean Kamen, to highlight the
 importance of science education programs in a special on
 ABC on Sunday, August 14.  A dozen famous stars discuss
 the importance of science and engineering and whose robot
 is best.  Click 'HERE' to see this great video.

Top
Subj:     Time Travel (S679b,d)
          From: Wimp.com
          on 1/16/2010
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/embed/QM28eErikAo
 Source2: http://www.wimp.com/timerelativity/

 Time travel, Einstein's relativity made easy.  This video
 is part of The Cassiopeia Project. Click 'HERE' to learn
 the theory of time travel.

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Subj:     Is 2012 The End? (S676d)
          From: Wimp.com on 12/30/2009
 Source: http://www.wimp.com/isend/

 In this video, Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson, an American astro-
 physicist, discusses Planet X (aka Nibiru), 2012, and the
 Mayan calendar.  Click 'HERE' for to see this fascinating
 and revealing video.

Top
Subj:     Northern Lights in Finland (S943)
          From: Zoraida Alilin McNorton on Facebook
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.....Click 'HERE' to see this beautiful 15 second video.
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Subj:     Do Aliens Exist? (S669b,d in Aliens)
          From: Wimp.com on 10/8/2009
          At: http://www.wimp.com/aliensexist/

 This video is a set of three lectures by Michio Kaka,
 professor in physics, City University, New York.
 Click 'HERE' to listen Michio discuss our search
 for exterrestrials.

Top
Subj:     2,500 Lbs of Cornstarch On The
.............Ellen Degeneres Show (S618c,d)
          From: darrellvip on 11/10/2008
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/RUMX_b_m3Js

 What happens when you add water to 2500 lbs of cornstarch
 on The Ellen Degeneres Show?  To see this impressive science
 demonstration, click 'HERE' to see it on my web site.

Top
Subj:     Short Jokes About Unit Conversions(S135, S893)
..........Some of these were compiled by Harvey Gould
......................  Research Professor of Physics
......................  Clark University
......................  Worcester, MA 01610-1477
..........From: sam.hutkins on 2/22/2014
          Typed by AJSwitzer@aol.com
 Source: http://physics.clarku.edu/~hgould/favorite_sites/jokes.html

 1 million microphones ............... = 1 megaphone
 2 million bycycles .................. = 2 megacycles
 2000 mockingbirds ................... = two kilomockingbirds
 52 cards ............................ = 1 decacards
 1/2 lavatory ........................ = 1 demijohn
 1 millionth of a fish ............... = 1 microfiche
 453.6 graham crackers ............... = 1 pound cake
 10 rations .......................... = 1 decoration
 100 rations ......................... = 1 C-ration
 10 millipedes ....................... = 1 centipede
 3-1/3 tridents ...................... = 1 decadent
 10 monologues ....................... = 5 dialogues
 2 monograms ......................... = 1 diagram
 8 nickels ........................... = 2 paradigms
 2 baby sitters ...................... = 1 gramma grampa
 1 million piccolos .................. = 1 gigolo
 2 snake eyes ........................ = 1 paradise
 100 billion decagons ................ = 1 tarragon
 1 Lucy .............................. = 1 deciarnez

From: dmswitzer1325@charter.net on 1/23/2005
 2000 lbs of Chinese soup ............ = Won ton
 1 millionth of a mouthwash .......... = 1 microscope
 Time between slipping on a peel
      and smacking the pavement ...... = 1 bananosecond
 Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
 Time it takes to sail 220 yards at
      1 nautical mile per hour ....... = Knotfurlong
 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone ...... = 1 Rod Serling
 Half of a large intestine ........... = 1 semicolon
 1,000,000 aches .................... = 1 megahurtz
 Basic unit of laryngitis ........... = 1 hoarsepower
 Shortest distance between two jokes . = A straight line
 365.25 days ......................... = 1 unicycle
 1 kilogram of falling figs .......... = 1 Fig Newton
 1000 milliliters of wet socks ....... = 1 literhosen
 1 millionth of a fish ............... = 1 microfiche
 1 trillion pins ..................... = 1 terrapin
 4 nickels ........................... = 2 paradigms
 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical
 tubing at Yale University Hospital .. = 1 IV League
 100 Senators ........................ = Not 1 decision

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Subj:     Critics Fear Collider Could Doom Earth (S598)
          By DOUGLAS BIRCH,AP
          From: AOL Science News on 6/30/2008
......Photo from Martial Trezzini, Keystone/AP
 MEYRIN, Switzerland (June 29) - The most powerful atom-smasher
 ever built could make some bizarre discoveries, such as invisible
 matter or extra dimensions in space, after it is switched on in
 August.  Click 'HERE' to read the article.

Top
Subj:     Message From An Alien Civilization (S107, DU)
          From: a_fool on 99-02-12

 Scientists decode the first message from an alien civilization...

 Simply send 6 x 10^50 atoms of hydrogen to the star system
 at the top of the list, cross off that star system, then put your
 star system at the bottom of the list and send it to 100 other
 star systems. Within one-tenth of a galactic rotation you will
 receive enough hydrogen to power your civilization until entropy
 reaches its maximum! IT REALLY WORKS!

Top
Subj:     Frazz Sunday Comic Strip (S667b)
          By Jef Mallett on 10/18/2009
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/frazz/2009/10/18
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Subj:     Mammatus Clouds (S457b)
          Photos by Jorn Olsen
          From: auntiegah on 10/22/2005
 Source: (Removed from hprcc.unl.edu)

 Jorn said, "Like any aviator, I've seen clouds before, but
 these are unreal; beautiful, and netherworldly." Jorn Olsen
 works for the Dutton-Lainson Co. in Hastings, Nebraska, and
 lives next to Hastings College.  The other night he took
 these photos and posted them to his web site at
 http://www.jornolsen.com.

 The stadium lights are at the Hastings College stadium just
 east of his home.  The clouds are called Mammatus clouds
 and there's a link on this URL that tells about them.  They
 do not precede a tornado, or fortell a storm, but are formed
 when the air is already saturated with rain droplets and/or
 ice  crystals and begins to sink.  The worst of the storm is
 usually over when these kind of clouds are seen.  They are
 quite rare, but really beautiful.

 You can view these six photos by clicking 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     The Night Before Christmas, Scientifically Explained (DU)
          From: smiles on 98-12-11

'Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding
 the annual yuletide celebration, and throughout our place
 of residence, kinetic activity was not in evidence among
 the possessors of this potential, including that species
 of domestic rodent known as Mus musculus.  Hosiery was
 meticulously suspended from the forward edge of the wood-
 burning caloric apparatus, pursuant to our anticipatory
 pleasure regarding an imminent visitation from an eccentric
 philanthropist among whose folkloric appellations is the
 honorific title,of St. Nicholas.

 The prepubescent siblings, comfortably ensconced in their
 respective accommodations of repose, were experiencing
 subconscious visual hallucinations of variegated fruit
 confections moving rhythmically through their cerebra.  My
 conjugal partner and I, attired in our nocturnal cranial
 coverings, were about to take slumbrous advantage of the
 hibernal darkness when upon the avenaceous exterior
 portion of the grounds there ascended such a cacophony of
 dissonance that I felt compelled to arise with alacrity
 from my place of repose for the purpose of ascertaining
 the precise source thereof.

 Hastening to the casement, I forthwith opened the barriers
 sealing the fenestration, noting thereupon that the lunar
 brilliance without, reflected as it was on the surface of
 a recent crystalline aqueous precipitation, might be said
 to rival that of the solar meridian itself - thus
 permitting my incredulous optical sensor to peruse a
 miniature airborne runnered conveyance drawn by an octet
 of diminutive specimens of the genus Rangifer, piloted by
 a miniscule, aged chauffeur so ebullient and nimble that
 it became instantly apparent to me that he was indeed our
 anticipated caller. With his undulate motive power
 traveling at what may possibly have been more vertiginous
 velocity than patriotic alar predators, he vociferated
 loudly, expelled breath musically through contracted labia,
 and addressed each of the octet by his or her respective
 cognomen ... "Now Dasher, now Dancer..." et al. - guiding
 them to the uppermost exterior level of our abode, through
 which structure I could readily distinguish the concatena-
 tions of each of the 32 cloven pedal extremities.

 As I retracted my cranium from its erstwhile location, and
 was performing a 180-degree pivot, our distinguished
 visitant achieved - with utmost celerity and via a downward
 leap - entry by way of the smoke passage.  He was clad
 entirely in animal pelts soiled by the ebon residue from
 the oxidations of carboniferous fuels which had accumulated
 on the walls thereof. His resemblance to a street vendor
 I attributed largely to the plethora of assorted playthings
 which he bore dorsally in a commodious cloth receptacle.

 His orbs were scintillant with reflected luminosity, while
 his submaxillary dermal indentations gave every evidence of
 engaging amiability.  The capillaries of his molar regions
 and nasal aptenance were engorged with blood which suffused
 the subcutaneous layers, the former approximating the
 coloration of Albion's floral emblem, the latter that of
 the Prunus avium, or sweet cherry. His amusing sub- and
 supralabials resembled nothing so much as a common loop knot,
 and their ambient hirstute facial adornment appeared like
 small, tabular and columnar crystals of frozen water.

 Clenched firmly between his incisors was a smokingpiece whose
 gray fumes, forming a tenuous ellipse about his occiput, were
 suggestive of a decorative seasonal circlet of holly.  His
 visage was wider than it was high, and when he waxed audibly
 mirthful, his corpulent abdominal region undulated in the
 manner of impectinated fruit syrup in a hemispherical container.

 Without utterance and with dispatch, he commenced filling the
 aforementioned hosiery with articles of merchandise extracted
 from his aforementioned previously dorsally transported cloth
 receptacle.  Upon completion of this task, he executed an
 abrupt about-face, placed a single manual digit in lateral
 juxtaposition to his olfactory organ, inclined his cranium
 forward in a gesture of leave-taking, and forthwith affected
 his egress by renegotiating (in reverse) the smoke passage.
 He then propelled himself in a short vector onto his
 conveyance, directed a musical expulsion of air through his
 contracted oral sphincter to the antlered quadrupeds of
 burden, and proceeded to soar aloft in a movement hitherto
 observable chiefly among the seed-bearing portions of a
 common weed.  But I overheard his parting exclamation,
 audible immediately prior to his vehiculation beyond the
 limits of visibility: "Ecstatic yuletides to the planetary
 constituence, and to that self-same assemblage my sincerest
 wishes for a salubriously beneficial and gratifyingly
 pleasurable period between sunset and dawn."

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Subj:     Bill Gates On Energy And Climate (S684b,d)
          From: Wimp.com on 2/21/2010
      and From: TED2010  (in famous-Gates)
 Source1: http://www.wimp.com/gatesenergy/
 Source2: https://www.youtube.com/embed/JaF-fq2Zn7I

 At TED2010, Bill Gates unveils his vision for the world's
 energy future, describing the need for "miracles" to avoid
 planetary catastrophe and explaining why he's backing a
 dramatically different type of nuclear reactor.  The neces-
 sary goal?  Zero carbon emissions globally by 2050.

 Click 'HERE' to see this interesting, twenty-nine minute video.

Top
Subj:     A Scientist And A Poet (S186)

 There were once two people travelling on a train, a scientist
 and a poet, who were riding in the same compartment.  They
 had never met before, so naturally, there wasn't much conver-
 sation between the two.  The poet was minding his own business,
 looking out the window at the beauty of the passing terrain.
 The scientist was very uptight, trying to think of things he
 didn't know so he could try to figure them out.  Finally, the
 scientist was so bored, that he said to the poet, "Hey, do you
 want to play a game?"

 The poet, being content with what he was doing, ignored him and
 continued looking out the window, humming quietly to himself.
 This infuriated the scientist, who irritably asked again, "Hey,
 you, do you want to play a game? I'll ask you a question, and
 if you get it wrong, you give me $5.  Then, YOU ask ME a question,
 and if I can't answer it, I'll give YOU $5."  The poet thought
 about this for a moment, but he decided against it, seeing that
 the scientist was obviously a very bright man.  He politely
 turned down the scientist's offer.

 The scientist, who, by this time was going mad, tried a final
 time. "Look, I'll ask you a question, and if you can't answer
 it, you give me $5.  Then you ask ME a question, and if I can't
 answer it, I'll give you $50!"  Now, the poet was not that smart
 academically, but he wasn't totally stupid.  He readily accepted
 the offer. "Okay," the scientist said, "what is the EXACT
 distance between the Earth and the Moon?"  The poet, obviously
 not knowing the answer, didn't stop to think about the scientist's
 question.  He took a $5 bill out of his pocket and handed it to
 the scientist. The scientist happily accepted the bill and promptly
 said, "Okay, now it's your turn."

 The poet thought about this for a few minutes, then asked, "All
 right, what goes up a mountain on three legs, but comes down on
 four?"  The bright glow quickly vanished from the scientist's face.
 He thought about this for a long time, taking out his notepad and
 making numerous calculations.  He finally gave up on his notepad
 and took out his laptop, using his Multimedia Encyclopedia.  After
 about an hour of this, the poet quietly watching the mountains of
 Colorado go by the whole time, the scientist FINALLY gave up.  He
 reluctantly handed the poet a $50 bill.  The poet accepted it
 graciously, turning back to the window.  "Wait!" the scientist
 shouted.  "You can't do this to me! What's the answer??"

 The poet looked at the scientist and calmly asked the scientist,
 "Can you break a fifty?"

Top
Subj:     Ruler Experiment (S676b,d)
          From: Wimp.com on 12/26/2009
 Source: http://www.wimp.com/underruler/

 This ruler experiment is mind-boggling.  Click 'HERE'
 to see if you can figure out what will happen.

Top
Subj:     Real Science As Seen By Students (S51)
          From: mbucher on 98-01-09

 This is a list of comments from test papers, essays, etc.,
 submitted to science and health teachers by elementary,
 junior high, high school, and college students: "It is
 truly astonishing what weird science our young scholars
 can create under the pressures of time and grades."  The
 spellings are the original ones. (Transmitted by Professor
 Pill-Soon Song, a KASTN editor, from a chemistry net group
 called SAFETY@uvmvm.uvm.edu, dated 1/13/96)

  1. H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.
  2. To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over
     a flame in a test tube.
  3. When you smell an oderless gas, it is probably
     carbon monoxide.
  4. Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin.
     Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is water and gin.
  5. A super saturated solution is one that holds more
     than it can hold.
  6. Liter: A nest of young puppies.
  7. Magnet: Something you find crawling all over
     a dead cat.
  8. Momentum: What you give a person when they are
     going away.
  9. Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives.
 10. Artificial insemination is when the farmer
     does it to the cow instead of the bull.
 11. The pistol of the flower is its only protection
     against insects.
 12. A fossil is an extinct animal.  The older it is,
     the more extinct it is.
 13. To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down
     over the nose.
 14. For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower that the
     heart until the heart stops.
 15. For head colds: use an agonizer to spray the nose
     until it drops in your throat.
 16. Germinate: To become a naturalized German.
 17. The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon.
     All water tends towards the moon, because there is no
     water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum.  I
     forget where the sun joins in this fight.
 18. Blood flows down one leg and up the other.

Top
(S641c)
     by John Graziano on 3/17/2009
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/ripleysbelieveitornot/2009/03/17
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Top
Subj:     Clarke's Laws (S616b)
          by Arthur C. Clarke (1917-)
          From: "Physics of the Impossible
                 by Michio Kaku
                 Published by Doubleday in New York in 2008

   I. When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that
      something is possible, he is almost certainly right.
      When he states that something is impossible, he is
      very probably wrong.

      On which he commented:

      Perhaps the adjective "elderly" requires definition.
      In physics, mathematics, and astronautics it means over
      thirty; in the other disciplines, senile decay is some-
      times postponed to the forties.  There are, of course,
      glorious exceptions; but as every researcher just out
      of college knows, scientists of over fifty are good for
      nothing but board meetings, and should at all costs be
      kept out of the laboratory!
         _Profiles of the Future_ (1962; rev. 1973)
         "Hazards of Prophecy: The Failure of Imagination"

  II. The only way of discovering the limits of the possible
      is to venture a little way past them into the impossible.

 III. Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable
      from magic.
         From: "Physics of the Impossible
                by Michio Kaku
                Published by Doubleday in New York in 2008

 Clarke adds: As three laws were good enough for Newton, I have
 modestly decided to stop there.

 A post with the "first law" invariably gets followed up with
 one mentioning this:

 When, however, the lay public rallies round an idea that is
 denounced by distinguished but elderly scientists and supports
 that idea with great fervor and emotion--the distinguished but
 elderly scientists are then, after all, probably right.
                                          Isaac Asimov (1920-1992)
                       _Fantasy and Science Fiction_ 1977 [magazine]
                                   In answer to Clarke's First Law

Top
Subj:     8 Amazing Holes! (S613c)
          From: gattica30 on 10/7/2008

 These eight holes in the earth are large, terrifying, and
 impressive.  Some are natural but most are man made.  Click
 'HERE' to view them.

Top
Subj:     Laws In Science, Engineering, And Life

 Corry's Law: "Paper is always strongest at the perforations."

 Epstein's Axiom: "With extremely few exceptions,
   nothing is worth the trouble."

 Etorre's Observation: "The other line moves faster."

 Farber's Fourth Law: "Necessity is the mother of
    strange bedfellows."

 Frisbee Laws:
    (1) The most powerful force in the world is that of a
        disc straining to land under a car, just out of
        reach (called 'car suck');
    (2) Never precede any maneuver by a comment more
        predictive than 'Watch this!'

 (Murray) Gell-Mann's Law: "Whatever isn't forbidden is
    required; thus, if there's no reason why something
    shouldn't exist, then it must exist."

 Golden Rule of Arts and Sciences: "Whoever has the gold
    makes the rules."

 (Sam) Goldwyn's Law: "A verbal contract isn't worth the
    paper it's printed on."

 Grave's Law - As soon as you make something idiot-proof,
    along comes another idiot.

 GUMMIDGE'S LAW - The amount of expertise varies in
    inverse proportion to the number of statements
    understood by the general public.

 Hofstadter's Law: "It always takes longer than you expect,
    even when you take Hofstadter's Law into account."

 Hurewitz's Memory Principle: "The chance of forgetting
    something is directly proportional to....to....."
    -- Lane Hurewitz

 IGGY'S RULE OF SCIENTIFIC ADVANCES - All scientific
    discoveries are first recorded on napkins or tablecloths.
    Engineering advances are drawn inside matchbook covers.
    Keep supplies of them handy at all times.

 JONES'S LAW - The man who can smile when things go wrong
    has thought of someone he can blame it on.

 Laura's Law: "No child throws up in the bathroom."

 LORD FALKLAND'S RULE - When it is not necessary to make
    a decision, it is necessary not to make a decision.

 Maier's Law:  "If the facts do not conform to the theory,
    they must be disposed of."

 Mathis' Rule: "It is bad luck to be superstitious."

 Morton's Law: "If rats are experimented upon,
    they will develop cancer."

 MESKIMEN'S LAW - There's never time to do it right,
    but always time to do it over.

 The Ninety-Ninety Rule of Project Schedules: "The first
    90% of the task takes 90% of the time, and the last
    10% takes the other 90%."

 PERVERSITY OF NATURE LAW - You cannot successfully determine
    beforehand which side of the bread to butter.

 Preudhomme's Law of Window Cleaning: "It's on the other side."

 OSBORN'S LAW Variables won't, constants aren't.

 SATTINGER'S LAW - It works better if you plug it in.

 Slick's Three Laws of the Universe: "
    (1) Nothing in the known universe travels faster
        than a bad check.
    (2) A quarter-ounce of chocolate = four pounds of fat.
    (3) There are two types of dirt: the dark kind, which
        is attracted to light objects, and the light kind,
        which is attracted to dark objects."

 THE SNAFU EQUATIONS
    1. Given any problem containing N equations, there
       will be N+1 unknowns.
    2. The object or bit of information most needed will
       be least available.
    3. The device requiring service or adjustment will
       be least accessible.
    4. In any human endeavor, once you have exhausted all
       possibilities and failed, there will be one solution,
       simple, obvious, and highly visible to everyone else.
    5. Badness comes in waves.

 (Mark) Twain's Rule: "Only kings, editors, and people with
    tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we'."

 The Unspeakable Law: "As soon as you mention something ....
    ... if it's good, it goes away
    ... if it's bad, it happens."

 ZYMURGY'S FIRST LAW OF EVOLVING SYSTEM DYNAMICS - Once you
    open a can of worms, the only way you can recan them is
    to use a larger can.  (Old worms never die; they just
    worm their way into larger cans.)

Top
Subj:     A Volcano In Chili Erupts (S608b)
          From: darrellvip on 9/2/2008
 Several days ago, a volcano that had been dormant for
 9,000 years near the coast of Chile erupted spectacularly,
 hurling liquified metals and lightning many miles into
 the sky.  The results, which you will see is called a
 'dirty thunderstorm,' and are quite rare.

 Nobody is certain what causes them, but according to
 National Geographic it's believed to be 'the result of
 rock fragments, ash, and ice particles in the plume
 colliding to produce static charges just as ice particles
 collide to create charge in regular thunderstorms.'

 Click 'HERE' to view these five amazing photos.

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Subj:     Basic Guide for Scientists (S469)
          From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 1/15/2006

 I. Science Classification

    If it's green or it wiggles, it's part of Biology.
    If it stinks, it's Chemistry.
    If it doesn't work, it belongs to Physics.

II. Rules for Laboratory Workers

    When you don't know what you're doing, do it neatly.
    First draw your curves, then plot the data.
    Experience is directly proportional to the equipment ruined.
    Experiments must be reproducible.  They should all fail
       the same way.
    A record of data is essential. It indicates
       you have been working.
    In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
    Do not believe in miracles, rely on them.
    Teamwork is essential in the lab. It allows
       you to blame someone else.
    Always leave room to add an explanation when it doesn't work.

III. Finagle's Laws, Creed, and Motto

    First Law - If anything can go wrong with an
       experiment, it will.
    Second Law - No matter what result is anticipated, there is
       always someone willing to fake it.
    Third Law - No matter what occurs, there is always someone
       who believes it happened according to his pet theory.
    Fourth Law - No matter what the result, there is always
       someone eager to misinterpret it.
    Creed - Science is truth. Don't be misled by facts.
    Motto - Smile; tomorrow it will be worse.

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Subj:     The McGurk Effect:
             Watch Your Ears Lie To You (S720d)
          From: Wimp.com on 9/18/2010
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/embed/G-lN8vWm3m0
 Source2: http://www.wimp.com/mcgurkeffect/

 This video is a great example of the McGurk Effect taken from
 the BBC show Horizon.  In the McGurk Effect, your vision can
 over ride what your ears actually hear. Click 'HERE' to see
 this amazing effect.

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Subj:     Murphy's Laws Of Research
          From: Internet Joke Archive

 1st Law of Research : If you think of something new,
    it's been done.
 2nd Law of Research : If you think something is important,
    no one else will.
 3rd Law of Research : If you throw it away, someone else will
    publish it, obtain a grant, write a book, and get on the
    Oprah Winfrey show.

 1st Law of Theory : No theory will answer the important
    questions.  Corollary : All theories are irrelevant.
 2nd Law of Theory : All theories seem workable in conversations.

 Law of Importance : When you think you have discovered the
    real problem, you have not.  Corollary: When you are sure
    it is not important, it is.

 Law of Remaining Time: If there is a significant breakthrough,
    it will occur when your adviser is out of the country.
    Corollary: When your adviser is available, you will be
    mired in confusion.

 1st Law of the Research Question: If you have finalized your
    research question, you don't understand the literature.
 2nd Law of the Research Question: Only when you have clarified
    your research question will you discover a large body of
    conflicting findings.
 3rd Law of the Research Question: Your study will only make
    sense as long as your research question is hazy.

 Law of Inverse Self-Reward: The more you enjoy your research,
    the less data there is to support it.

 Fallacy of the Library Researcher: Somewhere there is a
    reference (the "Ultimate Reference") which will give you
    a stunningly brilliant opening and conclusion, tie your
    materials together and give you the premise for your first
    book. (The search for this kind of thing has delayed
    dissertations for years, and forced advisers to threaten
    the student with bodily harm if the search is not abandoned.)

 Murphy's Law
 If anything can go wrong, it will.
 If anything can't go wrong, it will go wrong.
 If anything can't go wrong on its own, someone will make it
    go wrong.
 O'Tool's Commentary on Murphy's Law
    Murphy was an optimist.

 Murphy's Law for Engineers:
 The more innocuous a design change appears, the further will
    its influence extend.  Any error that can creep in, will.
    It will be in the direction that will do most damage to
    the calculation.  A transister protected by a fast-acting
    fuse will protect the fuse by blowing first.

 Murphy's Law for Electricians:
    Any wire cut to length will be too short.

 Murphy's Law of Selective Gravity
    An object will fall so as to do the most damage.

 Murphy's Laws on Work
    From: ipkis@mhv.net on 97-07-12
 -A pat on the back is a few centimeters from
    a kick in the pants.
 -Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced,
    you won't get promoted.
 -The more Crap you put up with, the more you are
    going to get.
 -You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and
    carry a clipboard.
 -If at first you don't succeed, try again.  Then quit.
    No use in being a damn fool about it.
 -Mom said there'd be days like this but she never said
    there'd be so many.
 -If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would
    ever get done.

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Subj:     Frank And Ernest Cartoon (S623c)
          By Bob Thaves on 12/20/2008
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/frank-and-ernest/2008/12/20
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Subj:     New Scientific Developments
          From: OXyMoron Humour Archive on 07/01/97
 (Also see 'Flying Horse - Gatorrada (Cat-Toast)' in Physics2)

 These are supposedly responses to a contest sponsored by
 OMNI magazine.  Strangely, these scientific developments
 were never considered by the Nobel Committee.

 Grand Prize Winner
 Antigravity
 When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and
 when toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered
 side facing down.  It is proposed to strap buttered toast
 to the back of a cat; the two will hover, spinning inches
 above the ground.  With a giant buttered cat array, a high-
 speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago.

 Runners-up
 Rednecks ? Braille
 If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite
 number of pickup trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun
 rounds at an infinite number of highway signs, they will
 eventually produce all the worlds great literary works in
 Braille.

 Why Yawning Is Contagious
 You yawn to equalize the pressure on your eardrums.  This
 pressure change outside your eardrums unbalances other
 people's ear pressures, so they must yawn to even it out.

 Chinese Underdevelopment
 Communist China is technologically underdeveloped because
 they have no alphabet and therefore cannot use acronyms to
 communicate ideas at a faster rate.

 Effects of Deforestation
 The earth may spin faster on its axis due to deforestation.
 Just as a figure skater's rate of spin increases when the
 arms are brought in close to the body, the cutting of tall
 trees may cause our planet to spin dangerously fast.

 Honorable Mentions
 Why the Earth rotates
 Birds take off at sunrise.  On the opposite side of the
 world, they are landing at sunset.  This causes the earth
 to spin on its axis.

 How to make your car go faster
 The reason hot-rod owners raise the backs of their cars is
 that it's easier to go faster when you're always going
 downhill.

 The Constant Consonant Theorem
 The quantity of consonants in the English language is
 constant.  If omitted in one place, they turn up in
 another. When a Bostonian "pahks" his "cah," the lost
 r's migrate southwest, causing a Texan to "warsh" his
 car and invest in "erl wells."

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Subj:     Power Of Ten - PPS (S548b)
          From: AFine963 on 7/9/2007
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 This 1,200 KB PowerPoint Slide Show travels the universe
 from micro measurements to macro measurements.  For a
 science slide show, it feels philosophical and religious.
 You can see it by clicking 'HERE'.

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Subj:     Non Sequitur Cartoon (S1013)
          By Wiley Miller on 7/1/2015
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/nonsequitur/2016/05/30
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Subj:     Naica Crystal Caves - PPS (S544c)
          From: darrell94590 on 6/14/2007
 This 3,000 KB Power Point Show displays two caves in Chiuahua,
 Mexice which contain the worlds largest natural crystals.  You
 can view this amazing PPS by clicking 'HERE'.
 

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...........................From Smiley_Central
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